I didn't betray him, okay? Or, I didn't do it because I hated him. I didn't... oh, man. This is too complicated.
We made this trip to New Marais a few years back, okay? Cole wanted a chance to explore a city where the cops weren't gonna be on his back all the time. And, well, you've seen the things he can do. He might not've survived a five-hundred-foot drop back then, but he was good enough to climb up the side of a goddamned building without having to worry about it.
He convinced me to grow a pair and give it a shot - didn't use those words, but I knew what he meant. I always knew what he did was special, right? And I could never get the hang of it. Sure, the extra baggage doesn't help, but even when I was a skinny kid I couldn't have done what he did. I tried, though. Fell down a lot, and didn't even try to make some jumps even though I would've just fallen in the floodwaters anyway - floating's one thing I'm good at, you know? But I was too damn scared.
It was the same way when I was climbing that tower, right? I mean, Cole could've probably jumped off the top and survived, probably made a hell of an explosion and leveled half the city if he'd wanted. But one wrong step and I would've been a greasy spot on the pavement! He was askin' me for help, but how the hell was I supposed to help him like that?
So that's why I did it. That's why I tried to use the Ray Sphere, and that's why I went off with Kessler.
I thought I could handle it! You know? I thought that it would be different, that I wouldn't... that the Sphere wouldn't hurt the city like it did with Cole. And when I left with Kessler, I figured if he gave me the power, I... I'd take him out myself. I'd handle him and come back a hero, like Cole. It wouldn't be me running around behind him, always needin' his help to get by. I wouldn't be sitting in the sidelines building batteries or some crap, I'd be standing beside him, helping him out. We'd be a real team, me and him. Two superheroes, tearin' things up to save the town.
But it didn't work. Kessler was a bigger liar than even I knew. An' then it all goes to hell, and Cole's the one who has to handle Kessler, instead of me comin' back with him helpless and proving I'm not just some sidekick who can't keep up with my best friend. Now things are even worse, with Cole's showin' me pictures and telling me the things Kessler did that shouldn't make any sense, except they do now. An' he's tellin' me he hates my guts for betrayin' him. And you know, I deserve that, 'cuz I know what Kessler did when I wasn't there. Maybe I oughta let go.
But... I can't let go. Not now. It ain't supposed to be like this.
I gotta try to fix it.