1.
My Dearest Lisbet,
France is so different than home. In a marketplace I was surprised to see luxuries that we would expect only in the Windsor markets. I came across a leather journal and writing utensils. I decided that I should practice before I arrive at the University. I wanted to share this journey with someone but the only one I would ever wish to share with is gone. You would understand and would be able to recognize the marvelous things I have seen, so I write to you in this journal.
Wherever you are I hope that you know I am always thinking of you.
With all of my Love
Carlisle
1666
2.
Eyes that make the sun blush
Hair that punctuates their light in a halo
Longing for completion
Longing to be made whole
The two embrace
Lips together, mouths open, eager
Tongues dance through the intermingling of souls
They are one
Two souls become one
Forever bound together
Through paradise or damnation
They share the same fate
The sun is gone
The sky is dark
I have failed
We are damned
~ 1666
3.
Dear Lisbet,
Writing to you here in Paris, I can almost believe you are back in London waiting for my return. A journey to seek my fortune, perhaps. Maybe a journey for some higher purpose of God.
Then, I see the beauty and marvel at the differences, so I want you to experience with me and I remember that you are gone.
I see your face in everyone. I compare every woman to you. Every action, I yearn for your approval. I pray that in whatever limbo you may find your eternal rest, you can see that I understand the compassion you had for others.
It is true that when we were young I pretended to care? In truth, everything was just to be with you. Every moment leading to the union where we became one. Then, afterwards, every moment longing to return there with you.
I wish I had paid more attention. I truly love you and enjoyed our every moment together. I was just distracted by the yearnings of the flesh and now that I cannot hold you, I lament the things that I have lost.
I miss you, my darling. I pray that in whatever manner it must be, one day we will be reunited.
With love,
1666
4.
Memories of kindness
Memories of love
Memories of tragedy
Memories of sorrow
Ashes on the ground
The embers rose up to the heavens
The embers obscured the view of God
The embers made him smile
The embers exacted his justice
Ashes of the evil now gone
Fire consumed the city
Fire make the demons scream in pain
Fire for the lives they have lived
Fire for their eternal souls
Ashes of their lives dances in hell.
How is it I escaped the fire?
How is it I escaped God's wrath?
How it it I can live so abandoned?
How is it God will find me for his vengeance?
Ashes of my soul eternally damned
~ 1666
5.
The sun shines on the water
The reflection dances among the trees
The sun shines on my skin
The reflection dances through the ruined church
The sun shines on my beloved
There is no reflection for she is not there
Forever lost
-C. Cullen 1666
6.
My dearest Lisbet,
I am reminded of the patterns in the water. I remember the big fish moving the others. I struggle to remember if I had mentioned this then or if it is a relatively new thought but I am reminded of how the king governs his people who in turn govern the people of England. Just like with men some of the large fish were mean and attacked the smaller ones. Others drifted among them moving them by leading. There were always the small groups of fish that did not go with the group. Sometimes as few as one and other times more. I think of this as I experience my new life. I have met others like me and it seems they too have small groups and a larger governing group that they dread. I wonder how their government works. I wonder about their civilizations for there most certainly must be more to this life than lone wandering.
I thought I was going to die today. It was going to be the end of my torment and my ultimate reunion with you. I was a coward. I ran. The opportunity was within my grasp but I was afraid and left the scene. I am deeply saddened that I have prolonged my time without you.
Yours forever
~Carlisle Cullen 1666