I never saw myself as a person who could be happy, not after the fire anyway. Sure before the fire I went to school, even had a few friends but I was never overly social. Maybe that's what made me an easier target, for her.

I was only sixteen when I met her, but I should have known better. She flirted with me and ofcourse my adolescent mind went crazy at the thought of an older woman like her being interested in someone like me, young, naive, reckless.

We didn't even go on a date, she said people wouldn't understand our love, That was a word she used to win me over. I thought I loved and I thought she loved me, I thought we were going to spends the rest of ours lives together.

At first she was perfect. She was sweet and funny but she soon turned nasty. It didn't seem like anything at the start but how was I to know any different.

She often taunted me and made feel weak, she usually did it while we were having sex.

I can still remember the last night we spent together, it brings the taste of acid on my tongue.

"Derek sweetie, do you truly love me?" She cooed.
"Yeah I do, I swear" I rushed out.
"Then why are you still hiding things from me?" she asked.
"I'm not" I lied.
"We can't really be together until you tell me everything" She told me.

I told her all of my secrets, everything, even about the way I sneak out when everyone is asleep.

Now I assume that's how she got into the house.

I didn't think it was her when they told us that our whole family was dead. I didn't think it was her when her cell phone was disconnected. I didn't think she did it when I went to her apartment and found it empty. I finally realised it was her when I saw her family quickly leave town and when her father smirk at me while they did.

I never told though, I was just being selfish again in doing so. If I did tell Laura, I would surely lose the only person I had left.

It was only the two of us when we were in New York and that's the way I liked it. I never made any friends and I didn't see anybody else. In fact I kept as far away from humans as I could. They are the real monsters after all.

Then Laura left. She went back home, home, if you could even call it that. She was only supposed to be gone a week, two tops but then it was a month and I knew she wasn't coming back, for me.

I went to Beacon Hills to find her and instead I only found half, bloody and cold. I carried her back to the house, what was left of it, and I buried her. I wanted to do something right by her for once.

Then they arrested me for her murder and I knew it had something to do with those two idiots.

I didn't really pay much attention to him, not a first but after I hid in his room, hiding from his father, I started paying attention. He was different, that was for sure. I didn't understand why he was doing the things that he does, what he's doing for Scott. He isn't getting anything in return.

Peter, my only other relative, was the alpha. He killed Laura and I so wished he would have killed me aswell.

Revenge was what drove me after that. Maybe that's why I killed Peter but I'm not completely sure. I didn't want to be the alpha, I was never meant to but Scott couldn't be an alpha, he was to young and it was to soon. So maybe I did it for him but I can't be sure.

I wanted to die after I became alpha but I didn't. I not sure why. I but Isaac first, he deserved the bite, he needed it. Then Erica who was miserable she deserved it too and then finally Boyd who was so alone, he needed the bite also.

Scott wanted nothing to do with me and I guessed he was right not to. If I was anybody else I wouldn't either.

All the while though, I seemed to be thrown into these situations with the human, the pool. I told him that we didn't trust each other, which it true, we don't. But he saved my life. I don't know why he did but for the first time in a long time I was happy that somebody did, I had a pack. I was needed.

Erica and Boyd left, it was only a matter of time really.

Peter was back from the dead and Isaac was spending more and more time away from me. It makes sense though, why would anybody want to be anywhere near him. He breaks everything he touches.

After the kanima it was only a matter of days until the Alphas showed up.

Jackson left with his parents for a fresh start and Peter fled, leaving Derek, Scott and Isaac the only werewolves. Isaac left to move in with the McCalls. Derek was alone again.

That's when he realised that Stiles was alone aswell, I found Stiles bloody and beaten in the woods. The alphas had taken him and Scott didn't pick up his phone when Stiles called after figuring out that he was being followed.

I brought him home and stayed with him through the night since his father was working overtime after all the deaths at the station.

Some where in between dodging the Alphas I found myself with Stiles, always with an excuse like research or hiding out but over time it was watching a movie or eating left overs.

Over time we both became less lonely.

We defeated the alpha but at a price, Stiles nearly died. Kali had gotten to him and when I found him, his heartbeat was fading. He was touch and go for a while but eventually he was okay and awake but stuck in the hospital for over a month. That's when his dad found out. He was furious and blamed me, not that I didn't either.

So I stayed away, watching from a distance to assure myself that he was safe but I never got closer. I break everything so I don't deserve nice things.

It was a month after graduation that Stiles came to me, he told me we had the summer and then he was leaving for college, NYU. We spent the summer in a haze, sleeping and fighting and making up. It was extraordinary. I figured it was only the summer, I couldn't hurt Stiles that much in four months and that he couldn't hurt me. Then he left, I knew it was coming. He was always going to leave for New York. Figures a human would break me again.

Without him it was torture, It was dark and cold. I wanted to die again but then Christmas break rolled around and he told me that Beacon Hills didn't need me, and he was right, I didn't have a pack, Scott and Isaac were both gone aswell. Then he told me that he needed me.

I never thought I would go back to New York, not without Laura but then again I never thought I would be happy but now, now, I am. I love a boy and he loves me. We have an apartment and I have a job. We're safe now, finally safe and I'm a little less broken.

I just had random Derek feels :/ Please review