~What if Revan failed against Malak on the Star Forge?~
I am a prisoner, when I lost against Malak, for the second time I did not die. Although, I wish I was dead, if not from the torture then from the shame. One question remains, why didn't Malak fulfill his threat of putting my body in stasis as he did with those half dead Jedi from Dantooine. The answer comes quickly to my mind: Bastila. Does she think that keeping me alive is a mercy, a kindness? Or perhaps it is not kindness, perhaps she wishes me to suffer pain and anguish as she did when she was with Malak.
They seem to delight in my suffering. Perhaps to them it is amusing to see the former Lord of the Sith suffer. When they came, they took hot metal and placed it upon my eyes and let it burn and sear. The pain was terrible, how I even managed to stay conscious through the whole ordeal, I truly have no idea. I can only believe that it was the Force and Bastila. She wanted me awake to feel the pain and to have me witness the darkness that fell upon my eyes. Ironic, I now sit in a cell, blind and sightless in darkness, not of soul but of body.
I feel myself sink into despair when Bastila comes into my cell and laughs and mocks me concerning my "lack of vision." By the Force, I never meant her to fall so far, it was my Darkness that has caused her to fall. It is my fault. I can not even feel the bond we share. If it still exists, she delights in using it to make me suffer, for all I can feel is misery.
I desire death, yet no matter how hard they afflict me, I live. I heard the cell doors open. What now? A prisoner is thrown beside me; I hear his heavy breathing and I feel his presence in the Force. "Tala is that you?" I have heard that suffering can go both ways and it is true. I do not wish Carth to see my eyes and the thought of him realizing it causes me more pain. "Carth, you're alive….I thought you were dead."
He weeps and I know the reason why, it is my eyes. "Oh Tala…your eyes." Tears come from my sightless eyes and I move my hands against his face. I feel the stubble of an unshaven man. I feel his face carefully and feel the familiar curves of his face. I could easily "see" him in the Force, but there is something about physically touching his face that gives me comfort. I don't understand why, Carth is in my cell with me, maybe he knows why we have been placed together.
He holds me and I feel the warmth of his arms around me, "Tala…they have sentenced us to death. Tomorrow we will die." Understanding dawns on me, the reasoning as for us being in the same cell. I lay my head against his chest; and I listen to the beating of his heart, "I am not afraid to die, Carth. I am at peace." I quote the Jedi code, "There is no death…there is only the Force." I feel Carth's warm breath on my face as he kisses me. "I am not afraid either…Revan."
The night is long and neither one of us sleep. The cell doors open and Bastila places cuffs on our hands, to keep us from escaping, and pushes us forward. Her voice, which once was sweet and pleasant has taken a dark seductive tone, "You're a fool Revan…you could have experienced power but now you will die." Carth speaks, his voice filled with the pain of her betrayal,"Bastila….this isn't like you…this isn't…" I hear the sound of her hand slapping hard against the flesh of his cheek,"Silence…fool. Darth Malak, my master, has sentenced you both to death and…" She paused, her voice took on the sound of obvious pleasure," I am to be your executioner." I am not afraid. I find comfort in the words, Peace and serenity; they are yet again words taken from the Jedi code. I once scorned those words but now I find comfort in them. Bastila parades us out and I whisper to Carth,"Where are we?" He bumps against me and says, "Top of the Rakatan temple. They executed Jolee and the others here earlier, they made me watch it." I nodded sadly; I can feel the traces of death that have happened here. Bastila growls at us, "Enough."
She pushes us down upon the cold stones of the temple and I hear her speak to others. I can sense there presence."Behold…today we execute two traitors. One is well known to you. She once was great among us and once called herself Lord Revan, but now she will die. The other is a commander of the Republic, a valuable and important soldier. His death will seal a devastating blow to the Republic." Bastila pauses in her long diatribe, her last words coming; I know they will seal our fate. "Behold the death of those who would oppose us."
Carth sighs and says to me, "I love you Revan." I answer him as Bastlia shoves my head down upon a rock, "I love you too." I hear the hum of Bastila's lightsaber as it ignites and I feel it burn as it cuts into my neck. I feel my soul. There…is peace and I am free.