"Cassie?"
The voice echoed in my head, ringing in my ears. I blinked back tears. My name is Cassie. Just Cassie.
"Cassie?" I wiped a tear with the back of my hand. My eyes hurt from crying so much.
"Casseeee?" It was my mom. I didn't feel like answering.
It was quiet for a moment, except for the sounds of my mom coming upstairs to my bedroom. "Cassie –oh," mom said, stepping in my room. "Cassie, is there something wrong?"
I didn't answer. I nodded and took in a small shaky breath. I swallowed hard to get rid of the lump in my throat. It didn't work.
"Is it something I can help you with?" Mom asked, placing her arm around me. I remained silent.
"Cassie…" Mom said as I began to cry again. "Cassie, whatever it is, it's okay. It's okay."
I knew it was. I was just scared.
We'd recently had a mission. Not a successful one, though. It was a small mission, really. There was this building being used as some kind of weapon hide out. We'd gone in, "kicked some butt" as Rachel later said. But it wasn't easy. Jake cries still flooded my mind. Even though we made it out alive, I felt as if I had died.
I shook my head. "I'm going for a walk," I said, clearing my throat. My mom got up and left the room. So did I. Only much slower.
I walked down the sidewalk, kicking a stone out of the way. It was night time, the stars shining brightly in the sky, the street lights on, with moths and other bugs flying around it as the light buzzed. Far off in the distance, I heard the sound of a police car siren wailing in the still night. A cat ran from one of the pockets of dark out to the left of a house.
I walked a bit farther down the sidewalk, tears dried on my eyes, fighting back fresh ones and all, and I neared a house I knew. Not very well, but I knew it enough.
It was odd for me to do this. He usually comes over to my house. I just had to know if he was okay…
I walked up the steps and raised my hand to knock. I pulled it back. You can back out Cassie, I thought to myself. I shook my head and knocked hard on the wood.
Nothing happened. There was silence, except the night bugs in the trees. An uncomfortable silence to me.
I knocked again. This time, I heard a shuffle behind the door.
It opened and there stood Tom. He looked at me for a second, squinting in the dark to see.
He didn't say anything for a second, except when I tried to open my mouth, he said, "I'll get Jake."
The door closed again. It must have been late.
I sighed and shoved my hands in my jeans pockets. I teetered on one foot to see how long I could stay up.
"It's Caaaaaassseeee…" I heard a muffled voice say. Tom.
A shuffle sound, the sound of shoes. The door opened.
Jake stood there this time. He stepped out and closed the door behind him.
Jake turned to look at me, and I saw something in his eyes. He looked scared.
"Jake…" I began to search my mind for words.
Jake looked at me. "What's wrong?" He asked in some sort of choked whisper.
"Nothing," I said. "I just wanted to see…if you were all…right."
Jake scratched the back of his head. "Well, yeah. I'm okay. How about you?"
"Fine," I answered. "I just wanted to see."
"Yeah," Jake said, staring at the floor in embarrassment. He moved around his foot. "Look, Cassie it's –"
"Late, I know," I said. "I know. I understand. I'm going." I turned and began to walk away.
"No!" Jake cried, running to catch up with me. I whirled around. "I mean, no…I don't want you to, er, go."
I tried not to smile. I tried hard not to. But I couldn't help it. Neither could Jake.
"You, uh, wanna come in?" Jake asked. "My parents aren't at home right now, so…"
"Tom?" I asked.
"He's probably upstairs or something."
I nodded and followed Jake back in. This is odd. It was. Very un-Jake like.
Jake and I sat down at the table and he fixed us coke. As soon as I took a sip, I asked what was going on.
Jake was still drinking and he began to cough. He cleared his throat. "Sorry," he mumbled.
He looked around, making sure no one was here. "I'm sorry, Cassie. I know I sound dumb."
"Sound dumb?"
"Yeah…" He said, his eyes drifting away. "It's better if we go outside."
I nodded in agreement and followed him outside. We sat on the porch.
"So what were you going to say? You didn't answer my question," I said. Jake sighed and said, "What quest –oh, yeah. That one. Lemme see."
"Lemme see? Jake, answer the question," I said. I didn't mean to. "Sorry."
"It's all right. It's late. My parents should be coming home soon." He looked away, into the far shadows of his yard. "Cassie, I was going to do this very same thing."
"What, drink a coke?" I asked.
"Cassie," Jake said, almost impatiently. "I meant to say go over. See if you were all right. You seemed shook up."
"I was," I said. "Very shook up. Jake, I don't want to lose you."
"I know that. I don't want to lose you either."
"Jake," I said.
"What?"
"Nothing," I said. "Nothing at all. It's just that…let's say you do die…" Jake gave me a scared look. "Let's just say you do die and I'm all alone. No Jake in the world."
"Well, let's say Cassie dies and I know what you're trying to say Cassie. It was be sad, scared and horrible if there wasn't any Cassie here."
I didn't know what to say to that. Jake is smart. He knew what I was trying to say.
"But Jake," I began. "I'm scared. I'm scared of losing you, you losing me."
"I know, Cassie," Jake said. "But everyone dies. You will someday. But just not today."
I'd never heard Jake say something like that. He's not that deep kind of thinker.
There was a silence. "Jake, I'm sorry I bothered you…"
"You didn't. I was actually glad someone came over. It was getting kind of boring." I smiled. There was Jake, the kid not the adult, standing there. That was the kind of comment that turned most girls off. But not me.
"Bye, Jake," I said. Jake said bye and before you know it, we were moving closer to each other. I looked into his eyes, he looked into mine and soon, very soon, we kissed.
It was a very brief kind of kiss. But I enjoyed it.
We pulled away, kind of shocked, kind of not and I began to walk away and I turned to see Jake, picking the glasses up and walking back inside.