Equius had never felt true fear before. Even as a meteor had been headed towards his hive as it fell into a ravine, he was calm, only a little antsy. But as the arrow shot threw his leg and forced him into a subjective kneel, the twinges of true fear and panic began to set in.

"finally kneeling." Gamzee had abandoned his perch and was striding up to the kneeling Equius "MOTHERFUCKING FINALLY!"

A shiver ran down Equius' spine at the highblood's voice. The constant switching from the soft, calm, almost seductive tone to the crazed, commanding-no-dominating shouting had a dizzying quality, and the more Equius listened the worse it got.

"i should really stick you and bleed you of your peasant's blood." The bow in Gamzee's hands began to creek as the troll bent it harder and harder in its middle. "I SHOULD BLEED YOU MOTHERFUCKING DRY!" The bow snapped under the stress almost as if on cue "but i'll spare you the loss of any more of that filth you're so proud of." And with that, Gamzee draped the bow string around Equius' neck, as if bestowing him a delicate necklace. Gently, he removed Equius' dark glasses, exposing all the confusing, the hurt, the hope and fear that had been hidden behind them. Gamzee made sure their eyes met.

And then he pulled.

Equius was helpless in more ways than one. He gasped for air, furiously grabbing at his throat. The small thin sting slipped under his increasingly clumsy grip. He wheezed, barely getting enough air in each gasp to be able to think. Not that it helped.

Equius could reach out and stop the highblood. A single swipe could send Gamzee sprawling, but so much kept his hands at his own throat. He truly believed Gamzee was better than him, that he really didn't have a say in his own death and that fighting it would lead to worse at his own hands.

There were also his feelings for Gamzee. Feelings he held but never shared. Feelings he was, in a way, afraid of. He didn't know about them for the longest time and when he finally saw them himself, he bottled them up. Afraid of showing them, because he was afraid to be hurt. Afraid that, for all his strength, this one thing could shatter his heart.

Through the dull pounding of blood in his ears and the haze that began to cloud his mind, Equius heard Gamzee's voice once more.

"PERCISTANT MOTHERFUCKER, AREN'T YOU?" Gamzee leaned in, his face directly in front of Equius'. "i know what you want and i'll give it to you, then you'll stop."

Gamzee pressed his mouth over Equius'. The blueblood would have gasped had he the ability to. Emotion flooded him with hardly a moment passed. His heart screamed in pleasure and pain, as if it was being broken and mended at the same time.

Hot tears streamed down his cheeks, which were quickly becoming numb.

~This was what he wanted for so long, longer than he even realized. But why like this?

His eyes rolled back in their sockets, his vision turning blurry and dark.

~Had he been fated to never have such love? To always fall short of a red romance?

His hands lost their grip, arms falling limply to his side.

~His heart cried out for answers, the pain unbearable but his alone to bear.

All he could feel was a hot presence, all he could hear was a dull buzzing, his sight all but gone.

When he was let go, he fell limply to the ground. He felt nothing but what his heart was screaming and even that was becoming distant and weak. Gamzee spoke but he never heard nor saw anything. His thoughts were disjointed and hardly thoughts at all, motes of a quickly dying consciousness. The last thoughts that could be understood were one of doubt:

~ 'Was it a lie?'

And one of dreams:

~ 'or was it real?'