DISCLAIMER: I own nothing/no-one/nowhere associated with Scrubs.

Part 1: Elliot's Innocence

Elliot woke up as the light teased her eyelids. Slowly she took a deep breath, blinked to adjust her eyes and take in her surroundings. White walls, a tiny window in front of her, a door which blue and green blurs were passing by.

It was odd; a place so familiar, yet one she definitely couldn't have woken up in. One thing was for sure, Elliot clearly wasn't in her apartment. She heard a beeping from beside her. Before she could investigate what was making the noise, the blonde doctor spotted the bandages covering half her arms.

There was no way she could be here, this wasn't real.

Now completely awake and freaking out, the woman wondered what was going on. Her heart rate rose and her eyes opened wide. She knew she was at Sacred Heart, knowing the building like the back of her hand and all. What she didn't know was why. The last place she remembered being was her own apartment. Racking her brain trying to remember any significant detail, Elliot came up empty.

Fear gripping her, Elliot cried out. "What the frick is going on? Somebody!" The tears were welling up in her eyes as she screamed for help.

Elliot stared at her bandages, trying to figure out what was underneath. She had to find an answer as to why she was here. Being a doctor for so many years, Elliot had an idea of what was beneath the bandages but she just couldn't believe the possibility.

Hoping that she'd just burned her arm on the stove or maybe even a small animal attack, Elliot pulled at her bandages to find answers. Suddenly two hands were preventing her from doing this.

"Elliot, calm down. You're in the hospital." Carla's voice filled her ears; soothing and calm, but still with that hint of bossiness.

"I can see that, but why? What happened?" Elliot was on the verge of a panic attack, still wanting to know what was beneath the bandages. What had hurt her? Why couldn't she remember?

"First of all, pull yourself together or you'll have to be put in restraints." Carla ordered her friend in a low but still firm tone.

"What are you talking about?" Elliot was in full blown anxiety mode now. Her throat was closing up and she was breathing deeply. A rogue tear escaped her left eye, rolling down her cheek. "I don't even know what happened to me."

She looked at Carla, her eyes pleading for answers as more tears kept escaping. The Latina nurse sighed, almost as though she didn't want to answer. Elliot kept motioning her hands, hoping that after a few moments of silence, Carla would explain.

When she didn't, Elliot's paranoia only worsened. "Carla what the frick happened to me? What am I doing here?!" Her voice was so loud and high pitched; the blonde doctor was practically screaming the words.

Finally an answer came. "Elliot, you tried to kill yourself." Carla felt sick after saying it. She hadn't even believed it was real until she said the words aloud.

For a moment, Elliot was paralysed by the revelation. If she wasn't so confused, it would have been easy to laugh the comment off. She did manage a slight smile at the preposterous accusation before shaking her head in disbelief. "Carla I didn't try to kill myself."

"Your arms beg to differ." Carla tried to remain calm, but her tone made it clear that she was upset by the whole ordeal. She couldn't believe her best friend wouldn't talk to her about something so important. Sure she was a bit of a gossip, but Carla also liked to believe she helped people in times of need.

"Why would I do that? I like my life just fine. Despite my mother constantly telling me I sound fat when we're on the phone…but that's nothing new."

"I don't know." Carla replied, looking a little frustrated and trying to blink back some tears assaulting her eyes. "What I do know is that when you came in here, your arms were practically hacked open. You lost a lot of blood and you're lucky that you're alive." Her voice was starting to quiver, but years of experience taught her how to keep it all together for the patient's sake.

Elliot kept shaking her head. There was no way any of this was happening. Her life had been going quite smoothly as of late. Work was going fine, she and JD were deeply in love and everything else was continuing on as normal. She had no reason to be depressed and hadn't even been remotely sad. That was not the life or emotions of one who tried to commit suicide. Besides, she certainly would have remembered something like that, wouldn't she?

"Where's JD? I want to see him." Elliot stated to her best friend.

Carla touched Elliot's shoulder sympathetically. "He's really shaken up about what happened. I'll talk to him but I have to say I don't think he'll be ready to come in just yet."

Elliot was finding it even harder to hold back her tears. She swallowed a gulp at the mere thought of her boyfriend not wanting to comfort her at such a moment. Surely JD would have to be there during such a time of need. It made her almost angry to the core. Where was the man who supposedly loved her?

"Why wouldn't he want to see me?" Elliot didn't mean to sound so harsh, but her voice came out sounding so.

Carla almost didn't want to say anything, lest it set the doctor off again. But she knew that lying was not going to be an option.

"Come on Carla. JD knows I wouldn't try to kill myself." Elliot was stunned that she had to convince people she'd known for years of this. Shouldn't they know that this wasn't her fault? "You know I wouldn't do that right?"

"Elliot, you do have a history of suicide attempts. You haven't been to therapy in over a year. I'm trying to believe you, really. As your friend I can't see why you'd do it. But it's kind of hard to believe that this all just happened by itself." The nurse wanted to believe more than anything, but the facts were just too dominant.

"One stupid attempt when I was a teenager! Please just get JD. I need him here."

"I don't know about that." Carla bit her lip and sighed.

Elliot finally snapped, her voice raising several octaves again. "Just page him and get him here! Why wouldn't he want to comfort his girlfriend at a time like this?"

Carla hated being talked to in such an angry manner and shot back at her friend. "Because he's the one who found you!"

One of the best things about private practice was being able to have the nights off. While a little bummed that JD was working the late shift, Elliot was making the most of her alone time.

"Scented candles, check. Bubble bath, check. Perfect water temperature, check. Guava body wash, check." Elliot smiled as she prepared for a nice relaxing bath. She deserved a little pampering after a hard days work.

Slipping into her bath, she adjusted to the temperature and made herself comfortable. A glass of wine was by the tub's side, which she took a sip of gratefully. Finally relaxed, the blonde doctor added the finishing touch and slipped her Ipod earphones in. Sounds of the ocean filled her ears and she drifted off.

"Elliot, its lunch time."

She snapped out of her memory as the tray was put down in front of her by Carla. None of the food looked appetising, but even if it did she wasn't hungry. Finding out that she'd tried to commit suicide and didn't even remember had shaken her to the core. The fact that no-one believed her only made things worse. At this point, Elliot didn't even believe her own memories. She knew that if she was on the doctor side of things in this situation, she too would be reluctant to believe herself.

"You look tired." Carla commented. "Maybe you should get some rest."

"I don't need rest. I need to know what happened." Elliot choked up again, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "All I can remember is getting into a bath and that's it. I was happy and free, listening to the sounds of the waves. Carla, what happened?"

"How should I know? All I remember is them bringing you here, JD covered in blood looking like he'd seen a ghost and telling us he found you in a bathtub of your own blood. Apparently you cut yourself with a wine glass." Carla gasped for breath as she finished her explanation. She was strong enough not to let her emotions surface completely, but was still visibly distressed at seeing her best friend this way.

"Oh my god…I really did it didn't I?" Elliot tried to fight the tears, but again they spilled. "No wonder why JD doesn't want to see me, he probably thinks he can't make me happy."

"He's worried about you, Elliot. We had to give him something so he'd calm down. For the last few hours he's been sitting in the doctor's lounge just staring at the notice board."

Elliot wiped desperately at her eyes, not wanting to appear even more vulnerable or confirm suspicions that she was depressed and sucidal. "I just want him here with me. I hate being like this but if he was here I'd just feel better, you know. No offence, Carla, I know you're just trying to help."

"I understand but he's in major shock. We all are. No-one else has any idea what to say to you. We want to be there for you but if you don't remember anything then none of us can help you get better." Carla put a comforting arm on Elliot's shoulder.

"The whole day's been kind of a blur." Elliot shook her head and stared down at her bandages. A part of her wanted to throw up at being so ungrateful and weak.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No, I think I'll just get some rest. I'm getting drowsy." Elliot told Carla as she pulled the blankets over her. "Just do me a favour."

Carla grabbed Elliot's hand. "Sure, what is it?"

"Stay with me." Elliot bit her lip, feeling so pathetic after years of building up a stronger reputation. "Because at this rate I don't know if I'll wake up."

NOTE: Okay so this is basically another totally random experiment. It's planned to be a short story side project. I thought I'd finally post and see how the readers respond to it. I think it's alright, but it's not really along my usual line of stories which is why I'd appreciate feedback. Hopefully you want to read more and if so, I will update when I can.