The Doctor and his two companions, Rose and Jack, were laughing over Tokyo.
"Did you see the look on her face when she put the wasabi in her mouth!" said Jack, laughing manically.
"Shut up Jack!" Rose said, not really meaning it. "At least that creepy guy behind the counter wasn't staring at me!" Jack tried to look offended, but was smiling too much.
"No, he was looking at me!" yelled the Doctor. "And I can't say I blame him! I'm handsome you know." Rose grinned and opened her mouth to say something, probably about the Doctor's ears, but never got the chance. I ray of bright white light invaded the Tardis, and all three of them were sent spiraling off in different directions.
The Doctor woke in a dark… cave? What the hell? No, not a real cave, he thought, tapping a boulder that was clearly plastic. He looked towards the light and saw the exit. He stepped out of the cave, and saw a lot of people hurrying around with cameras, microphones, bottles of water, and donuts. Mmm…donuts… Snap out of it Doctor! The walls of the large room were painted to look like a forest, and it did, if you squinted and turned your head to the left a bit.
"Hey, you!" Someone yelled! "All contestants over here!" The Doctor, assuming he was a contestant, headed towards the man.
"Finally!" The man said. The Doctor was standing next to a red headed girl, and a scary looking teenage boy in chain-pants. "Well I assume you know the rules already, but its company policy to tell you anyway. You three are about to play the game stations 342 highest rated game! Poke The Bear! So the rules-" The Doctor cut him off.
"What are we doing? Poke the what? You can't be serious!" The announcer-man gave him a scary look.
"Well if you had been paying attention, I said were playing Poke The Bear! And the rules are so simple that even a dullard like you should be able to figure them out." The Doctor was too busy trying to figure out the joke to respond. "Basically, I give you a sharp-ish metal stick, then you go in that cave over there," he pointed over his shoulder, "and poke the bear until it wakes up! The one with the most remaining limbs after five turns wins! Death and decapitation are not recommended, as they will cause immediate disqualification."
"But that's stupid!" yelled the doctor. The others ignored him. The red head raised her hand.
"What do we do when the bear wakes up?" she asked.
"Great question love!" said announcer-man. "I'd say; run like hell." She smiled at him, he smiled back, Goth-boy made a retching noise.
"Why are we even doing this?!" yelled the Doctor again. "This is a stupid game that sounds like it was thought up by a hyperactive teenager at three in the morning!" Coincidentally (and completely not an act of malice from an offended author) right after he said that, he was hit in the back of the head by a large hanging microphone. "Oww…" he rubbed the back of his head.
"Come this way and pick out your sharp-ish sticks!" announcer-man said, leading the way. The red head chose a skinny metal skewer and smiled in her delight. Goth-boy looked over his choices and finally picked what looked like a short sword, and seemed to be debating wither or not to massacre the crew.
"Pick you stick!" Boomed announcer-man, now thinking the Doctor was deaf as well as stupid.
"I've already got one," he said, pulling the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket. Announcer-man looked over it dubiously.
"I dunno… looks mighty short for a pokin' stick…" he said. The announcer-man laughed, "oh well, not my problem!" he chuckled and walked away.
The contestants were asked to lined up near the entrance to the cave. Announcer-man, or one of his clones, walked in front of the nearest camera and began talking to it.
"Hello home viewers! It's time for Game Station's 342 highest rated gameshow, Poke The Bear! First contestant, ENTER THE CAVE!!" The red head took his instructions and walked bravely into the cave.
"Hello? Mr. Bear? Wake up Mr. Bear!" Came her voice from the cave. A muffled yawn/growl came behind it.
"Well good mourning to you too Mr. Bea-" She was cut off by a loud roar and a loud noise.
SNAPCRUNCH! The bear roared again, then yawned, then fell back asleep.
"Well folks!" said announcer-man, absurdly happy. "It appears that we are left with only two contestants! She should have listened closer to are decapitation policy! Next contestant please!"
Goth-boy entered the cave. He didn't say anything, but they all heard a loud stabbing noise.
"RRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAA-"
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
Twenty minutes later Goth-boy exited the cave, completely unharmed and covered in blood. The crew glanced around nervously and tried to figure out who was going to take the stick away from him.
"Umm… okay then!" aid announcer-man, rattled. "Well this is a first… Apparently the bear has been beaten into submission! I guess that means it's time for round two! The Lion and The Bacon Vest-" he was interrupted by Goth-boy deciding to attack the unlucky crewman that attempted to get the stick out of his hands. "Minor technical difficulties!" said announcer-man to the camera, trying to talk loud enough to cover the screams. The Doctor used the confusion as the boy tried to take down the security forces with his poking-stick to slip into the hallways unnoticed.
Fantastic! He thought, ignoring the screams. Now just to find Rose and Jack…
Will the Doctor find his companions? What horrors are Jack and Rose going through? Find out after these short commercial messages...
Sorry! Couldn't help myself!