Isn't it crazy that as things are going so great and you think you're finally happy when things go completely wrong. I've been pretty happy lately, I mean I moved in with Luke, into this amazing house, he proposes and things are going so great. But how could I have been so stupid? I thought getting shot and finding out that Kate died for no reason was the worst thing that could have ever happened. How was I supposed to know that the worst thing that could have happened was Jo Rosati? I should have known something was wrong the moment Luke started being extra caring and going out of his way to treat me with such extravagant gifts. Now I have to go to work and act like everything is ok.
I got to the locker room late on purpose so I can avoid talking to anyone or having anyone notice that I'm no longer wearing my engagement ring. The stupid ring that wasn't even meant for me. I think back to the conversation I had with Luke when he stopped by my dad's place this morning.
"Andy, come on, please listen to me...let me explain"
"Explain what Luke, how do you explain that you CHEATED on me with your ex-partner/roommate/whatever she was?"
"Andy I never meant for this to happen, I'm so sorry...things just got out of hand...i never meant to hurt you...Please just give me a chance...this doesn't have to end our relationship...Let's just get married!"
"Luke...I have a question...why were you even planning to get married...I mean we haven't been together all that long...oh my gosh...you weren't really planning to propose were you...i Just happened to find that ring...was that ring even meant for me?"
"Andy I'm sorry...I...I love you...I did want to marry you...eventually...but I'm going to be completely honest...I don't want any more secrets between us...that ring was the one I bought for Jo but that just didn't work out but that doesn't mean I didn't want to marry you..that ring wasn't the right fit with Jo...it was really just waiting for you to show up...Andy I love you...you're the one I want to be with..Please..."
"What? You expect me to believe that pile of nonsense?Really...that ring was just waiting for its magic cinderella hands to show up?I've been living a lie...you don't love me...if you really loved me...you would have never cheated. Luke...get out now...I really don't want to talk to you right now.."
I had sat on the sofa crying for a while thinking how could I have been so stupid...I should have seen the connection they had and the way Jo has been treating me, almost like she resented me. How do I admit to people that I have been so stupid? So now I sit here hiding out in the locker room from everyone else...I'll have to head into parade soon...Traci is going to know something is wrong. Stupid Luke...why did he have to do this to me?
Yesterday's case has got me so uncertain...I mean how could that girl protect a man she knew was going to shoot her if we weren't there...how can she be so disillusioned? Was I like that with Luke...living a lie, willing to overlook the obvious in order to pretend that everything is going great. That man had her living lies, lies in which he had her picking out kitchen tiles and pretending in the park about future children. Gosh was I just as messed up as her believing that Luke and I were headed into a wonderful fairyland place?
At least unlike her..I stopped believing in the fairytale...