So this is that 'the Mistress has a period' fic that no one wanted except for like two people and this is also me trying to not make it gross because it's grim enough to experience. And- okay, I kind of then kept reading the thread that started this midst writing so it's fluff and inspired by that- would put the link here but wouldn't like that so I'll put it in the notes for this over on Ao3.
The Mistress is tired. Tired, unable to sleep and having one of the most horrible and awful stomach pains of her regeneration which is only contributing to her headache and the strong feeling of nausea. She needs a drink too but knows that if she puts anything in her stomach there's a chance everything will come out.
The Time Lady adjusts her position again, groaning as the pain instantly decides to flare up. She moves again, hissing as a random ache starts up stretching from her hips to the arch of her right foot and up into her right heart. Teeth clenched in frustration and pain she curls up into a ball, determinedly ignoring the fact it does not help the pain in the slightest and breathing heavily to try and combat it.
"Ow, ow, ow." She murmurs, pressing a hand against her stomach in a futile attempt to relieve the pain. She moans again, biting at her lip and hoping the new pain will distract her from the other.
It doesn't.
A tear curls from her eye and she wipes at it in frustration, digging her nails into the soft skin of her stomach.
"Fuck." She gasps as for some reason another spike of pain goes through her.
She wishes the Doctor would visit.
Somehow she feels like it would make everything a bit better.
And now she's crying again.
The Mistress huffs out a breath, concentrating on not crying and not pain because she can't just cry over something so stupid- she's had far worse.
She can feel the Doctor approaching the doors and flops over onto her other side, pulling the covers over herself and muffling another curse as the cramping decides to kick it up a notch.
"Missy?" He calls out behind the door.
She ignores him, pulling herself into a smaller ball, head tucked against her knees.
The room is dark when he enters but he can immediately see her curled up on her bed, cover tight around her.
He softly closes the doors, knowing she's awake but knowing even more that something is wrong and she probably doesn't want any more noise than is vital right now.
"Missy?" He calls out again, voice gentle. She still doesn't respond so he steps over an upturned chair and around a small table which had been on the other side of the room that morning and to her bedside.
He brushes his fingers over the covers.
"Hey." The Doctor says softly, letting his hand drift to where she has pulled the blankets. He sits down, careful to avoid moving her too much. His palm rests over her fingers and she huffs again, sending images to him at his silent request. He grimaces.
"That bad, huh?" He murmurs, stroking his thumb over the back of her hand as he holds it. The Mistress sighs, moving out of her blanket cocoon a little and nodding.
"It feels like my ovaries are trying to convince me that cyberconversion would be the best course of action so I never have to feel them again." She says bluntly.
The Doctor winces.
"Yeah. I remember that." He says softly, "There's a reason I try not to be a female too often- you know how little tolerance I have." That makes her chuckle a little and the Doctor smiles at her fondly.
"You've got enough supplies haven't you?" The Time Lord asks, brushing the hair from her forehead. He frowns, thumb barely touching the skin beneath her left eye. The Mistress frowns too, rubbing at it with her own fist.
"You've been crying." He says gently. The Time Lady scowls and turns away.
"I'm fine." She says firmly, clutching the covers to her chest. The Doctor doesn't push her but stands and goes to check her bathroom himself. He thinks he hears her sniffle but says nothing, knowing it would only hurt her ego and possibly make her throw something at him.
The Mistress scrubs at her face in annoyance.
Why does he always have to notice? Can't he just leave her alone?
She feels him stand and instantly regrets thinking that. She wants to call out to him to stay but knows she'd only look pathetic. Why are hormones so impossible?
Unbidden she feels tears prickle at her eyes and closes them, rubbing harder.
The bathroom door opens and she feels relief crawl in where there was regret- he's only moving to check you've got enough things to last you for the week you idiot. The Mistress smiles a little, holding the blankets tighter.
The room is dark and she closes her eyes.
Before long she hears the door close again and footsteps approaching the bed.
"Looks like you're set but if there's anything you prefer to use or I've missed tell me." The Doctor says from above. Missy turns to look up at him and watches his eyes track her movement. She reaches an arm up for him.
"Please." She asks, holding out her hand.
The Time Lord understands without asking and smiles fondly.
"Just a sec." He says, sitting himself on the side of her bed.
She hears the smooth pull of his laces as he unties them and the clunk as he drops each shoe to the floor.
The Doctor is careful to place his shoes neatly under the bed, knowing that the Time Lady could be meticulous about small things like that if she felt like it.
He stands again, pulling the covers from the bed and slipping between them. The Mistress shuffles back against him and he wraps an arm around her waist, holding her hand in his and pressing it against her chest. She tucks her feet behind her, the soles resting against the tops of his thighs. He lets his other arm curl beneath her and presses against her stomach, gently rubbing the soft flesh beneath her blouse. She shifts back, toes curling and uncurling a little at she finally settles.
"Better?" He asks, nose pushed into her hair by the position. The Time Lady sighs contentedly.
"Much." She agrees.
The Doctor holds her until she falls asleep, feeling the warm weight of her in his arms.
Missy is much more comfortable the next day, curled up by the gas heater in her favourite pyjamas and with her favourite book. She even has a hot water bottle- the Doctor had bought it for her before he went off to teach the pudding brains.
She loves him sometimes- more than she should considering their situation. If she is completely fair to herself though they have always been together in odd situations- it's almost the only time they see each other.
The Mistress hopes he visits again this evening. She knows that the egg man had a go at him for it this morning but surely he could make an excuse just for the week- hell, tell him the truth- She wouldn't mind!
She can hear the android trundling around outside the vault, grumbling the whole time.
"You know I can hear you!" Missy shouts irritably. The pacing stops and there's a small whimper which sends amusement through the Time Lady. There is a pause as the egg man decides on a course of action.
"And? If I have to be stuck babysitting a Time Lord in a box you have to be stuck listening to me complain about it." He responds. The Mistress can almost imagine him point at the door condescendingly. Any other time it would make her laugh.
"Time Lady." She snaps back, "And you don't have to stand right outside my vault doors! You could stand anywhere- at the top of a volcano, in the middle of the Sahara desert-" The Time Lady retorts angrily.
"Rasillon- you could stand in the belly of a shark! I recommend it actually- then neither of us will have to deal with the other- it's probably safer than hanging around a bitch in a box!" Missy rages, standing from her seat. Her book falls but she keeps the hot water bottle pressed firmly to her stomach.
"Did you hear that?" Asks the egg man incredulously.
The Mistress freezes, icy panic pulling her under.
"Yes. I did." Says the Doctor.
"She told me to-" The egg man is cut off.
"Yes, yes. I know what she told you. Heard it- we covered that, didn't we?" The Time Lord says, sounding vaguely annoyed. Missy hopes it's with egg man- she really does- he was so nice to her yesterday. The Doctor sighs and she can hear him step down the last few stairs.
"Nardole. Missy is on her period. I know you can't help it but I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to annoy her so much." He says calmly. The egg man makes a funny noise and she can imagine him making an expression. This means the Doctor's on her side, doesn't it?
"I don't try to annoy her Sir." He replies, "I can try not to annoy her but I'm not sure how well that will work seeing as well- I think she hates me." The egg man says.
"She does." Comments the Doctor. Well that's not entirely true.
"Thought so." Egg man responds just as easily. If she hated him he'd have been dead years ago. She hears him trundle away.
"But I'll try." He repeats and she hears the Doctor sigh again.
"Yes. I'm sure she'll be glad. Why don't you go take a night off- go eat chips or whatever it is you like to do that isn't hang around and annoy Time Gentry?" The Time Lord prods.
"So Time Gentry is the term. Good to know." The android comments again and Missy can almost hear the Doctor press a palm to his face.
"Yes. Leave some time tonight, could you?" The Doctor suggests.
Eventually the android leaves, grumbling the whole way.
"Missy." Says the Doctor from the other side of the door.
The Doctor shifts the bag on his arm, quickly unlocking the vault doors.
"Bitch in a box?" He questions.
"It's apt." The Mistress responds, eyeing the outside of the vault wistfully. The Time Lord sighs, looks at his hands, one on the vault's door and one holding the shopping bag, and looks back at the Mistress.
He knows he'll regret this if Nardole finds out.
"Missy?" He asks carefully, catching her gaze. She looks at him, lips thinning as she steps away from the doors.
"Yes." She responds, hands clasped together against the lilac hot water bottle. The Doctor looks down at them and wants to step towards her. He doesn't.
"Would you like to go outside?" He asks, not looking at her. The Time Lord still hears her intake of breath.
"I. You can't." She says, voice cracking at the end. He steps towards her, doors still open and hesitates a little. The Mistress looks at him, wipes a hand over her face.
"You can't do that." The Time Lady reasserts, "It would- the egg man would find out." She says. He smiles at her.
"He's called Nardole and of course I can. We'd have to stay on Earth obviously but I could take you for a wander. They have quite nice grounds here- for Earth." He replies gently. The Doctor knows she won't stop referring to Nardole as 'egg man'- he thinks she used to find it funny but now it's just stuck. The look of hope on her face through the tears is so beautiful he can't help but offer her his hand.
"I'm going to presume that's a yes so lets get everything ready- we can even have a picnic." He sees her nod, smiling at him.
"Thank you." The Time Lady says quietly.
The Mistress watches as the Doctor gets everything ready.
She still can't believe he is allowing this- she could ruin everything- all it would take would be two minutes left alone and she could blow up a good sized plot of land or hypnotise some of the locals.
"Are you sure it'll be okay? Me being outside?" She asks again, watching the Doctor potter about in the kitchen. He looks up as if he'd quite forgotten she was there.
"It'll be fine- you aren't going to tell Nardole are you?" He scoffs, stepping towards her, "Besides that door has been open for the last few minutes- you could have just wandered out as soon as my back was turned but you didn't." The Time Lord plucks the hot water bottle from her arms and Missy makes a futile attempt to grab it back. The Doctor dodges it easily and nudges her in the direction of the bathroom with a palm on her back.
"Now. Go and make sure you'll be okay for the evening while I refill this." He says, waving the bottle and pushing her more firmly in the direction of the door. Missy relents, knowing there is no point arguing with the Doctor in mother hen mode.
She closes the door behind her and checks.
It looks like she'll be able to go a few more hours. The Mistress grabs extra, popping them inside her pockets just in case. With the Doctor around who knew when there would be an alien invasion. She would not like to have an excuse to get her back in the vault when the Doctor is making his speeches and beating the bad guys. He would probably be proud of her forward planning- he can't plan for three minutes on advance.
The Doctor offers the Mistress his arm not holding the plastic bag as she emerges from the bathroom.
She takes it, easily crossing the distance to him. Her hand fits through the gap and settles on his arm. She smiles at him briefly and he sees the nervousness in it but doesn't comment as they silently walk through the open doors.
The Doctor shuts them and seals the vault up, now empty. The Mistress' grip tightens a little as he steps back from the doors.
She looks across the room, gaze fixed on the steps up and out.
"The gravity is a little different out here. Time too- it's strange after being in there." The Time Lady speaks, words spilling from her mouth. She rocks back onto her heels, shuffling her feet a little. He presses his hand over hers, letting the plastic bag slip to his elbow.
"You'll be fine." He reassures, squeezing her hand lightly. She nods, quiet again, gaze slipping up to him, lips slightly parted and trust in her eyes.
"I know." She says firmly, still looking up at him.
The Mistress leans into his side as they cross the grounds. He wraps an arm around her shoulder and she can't help but smile.
"We're going to have to visit one of those shops selling snack food." The Doctor says, "I didn't really plan this but I expect there will be somewhere open- it's a student city after all." He explains as if she didn't know him well.
"Convenience store." She corrects, amused by his awkward terminology. Sometimes she wondered how he could be so forgetful when he's living among the humans instead of her.
"You'll want to be quick." She suggests, curling her own arm around his waist and tracking the progress of a human across the road, "Otherwise I might choose my own snacks." Her eyes drift with the human as it walks down the street, fixated. Missy can imagine quite well the incredulous movement of his eyebrows.
"I was rather hoping you would." The Doctor says, ignoring- or possibly completely missing- the insinuation of murder, "I wasn't just going to leave you outside. I know how much you like sweets." He reminds her.
The Mistress feels emotions welling up again and curses her hormones.
"Are you alright?" Says the Doctor, grip around her shoulder tightening a little as he runs his hand up and down her arm. The Time Lady drags her hand across her face, swallowing.
"It's just- you're so good to me." She whispers, looking up at him and trying to give a smile. He smiles back down at her softly and she leans into his side a little more.
"You're on your period- I know how awful that is." The Time Lord reminds her.
Missy's lip trembles and she can't stop the words from spilling from her lips,
"I love you." She says, looking ahead at the convenience store determined not to cry more.
The Doctor ushers her into the convenience store. Smiling despite himself at the declaration.
"I know. It's hard not to guess when you're always going around calling me your boyfriend." The Time Lord teases.
He thinks he should perhaps be more concerned about the humans around him seeing all this given that he's vaguely famous around here and he doesn't really want this getting back to Nardole. The Doctor can't quite bring himself to care though as he distracts the crying Time Lady with sweets.
The Mistress stares up at the expanse of space above them. The stars seem to twinkle as the atmosphere scatters their light. Missy raises an arm to point between two of them, the other hand fumbling in the bag of sweets.
"Gallifrey is there, isn't it?" She asks before popping another sweet in her mouth. The Time Lady thinks it might be synthetic cherry but it's hard to tell after everything she's eaten.
She hears the Doctor move beside her. His hand comes up to take hold of hers as he moves it left a fraction.
"About there." He says, not releasing her hand.
"It's hard to tell with the planets moving so fast." The Time Lord says, letting go. She drops her arm to her chest gently.
"I just remembered I got you some things." He says moments later. Missy hears the rustle of a plastic bag- the one from earlier? She sits up, grimacing in discomfort at the change of position and pressing the hot water bottle into her stomach a little harder.
Gently the Doctor places the bag down beside her. The Mistress picks it up and opens it, feeling his eyes on her. It's dark but she can see well enough anyway.
She pulls out a smaller bag, tracing the familiar design on the front with a smile.
"You went off world to get chocolate for me." The Time Lady scoffs, "What would Nardole say if he found out?" She teases, smirking at him yet knowing she would never tell and knowing that he knows that too.
"Well I was hoping you wouldn't." He says, grinning back at her, "I know it's your favourite." He admits.
The Mistress sets it aside gently, careful not to damage even the bag.
She pulls out a small case next, looks over it amused as she raises an eyebrow.
"Ah- I thought you might want something less primitive than twentieth-century Earth technology to cope with bleeding." He explains.
"I've been in worse circumstances." She admits, smile faltering as she remembers. She puts it aside equally as carefully, quickly moving on to the next item before she thinks about her past too much.
The Mistress pulls out several thin tubes, reading them curiously.
"I thought you might like to try something different to your usual shade." The Doctor says, "Should have seen the faces the humans made when I put it on my hand- you would have thought I'd grown two heads." The Time Lady opens each tube, smelling them in turn.
"That's not too strange- my cousin did that for a dare once. Do you remember? Prydonian like us- family almost kicked him out for it. The two heads- not the chapter." Missy comments distractedly, applying one of the lip glosses.
"Not for humans- still kept giving me weird looks even after I explained to them that we're similarly coloured." The Mistress pops her lips as he speaks, rubbing them together.
"How does it look?" She asks, turning to him as she screws the lid back on the tube.
"Beautiful." The Doctor replies easily, smiling at her.
"Well. It's quite different from my usual shade but I think I like it." The Time Lady assesses for herself, pretending she isn't glad for the compliment.
"Humans are obsessed with gender, aren't they?" She says briefly. The Time Lord hums in agreement as she reaches into the bag again, pulling out a small box this time.
"What?" The Mistress asks, gaze sharp on him when she doesn't recognise the engraving. She runs her fingers across the polished surface.
The Doctor just smiles warmly, gesturing back to the bag.
"Go on."
The Time Lady does, scowling slightly as she puts her hand back into the bag.
The plastic crinkles as she reaches for the last thing left inside it.
Her fingers brush wood and she stares at the Doctor, eyes wide at the familiar sensation. She doesn't have to look to know what this is.
"What?" She asks more softly, lips thinning a little as her eyes fill with tears. The Doctor shuffles closer to her, his hand cupping the one holding the bag.
"It's yours." He says, gaze gentle as she stares at him.
The Mistress curls her palm around the last object and carefully removes it from the bag.
The Time Lord wraps his arms around the Time Lady, holding her close to him.
"You must have left it on Earth at some point." He explains, smiling into her hair tenderly, "UNIT had it for some reason and it's not like it's really dangerous so I liberated it from them." The Doctor says, running his hands over her arms as she clasps them to her chest.
"I'll have to look after it when I'm not with you of course but I thought that having something familiar like that might help. I know it's not fun to be female." He tells her.
"Thank you. Thank you. That's- I understand. Thank you." The Mistress says, looking up at him, hands still holding onto the gift tightly. She leans towards him gently and presses her lips against his.
"Thank you." She repeats, brushing tears from her eyes.
There is silence for a while as she just stares at him, lips parted softly and forehead creased. When she looks at him like this- like he's her entire world- he wants nothing more than to kiss her.
He doesn't though, instead just smiling fondly at her as she smiles back through the tears.
If she kept looking at him like that he thinks even he could one day find her more beautiful than the stars and everything they hold for him.
The Time Lady looks down at the pipe and back at him, so many expressions warring for a place on her face.
She sits back and flicks open the tin.
With motions practised in another body she easily packs the bowl with tobacco. It's strange what is forgotten and what remains even across bodies.
He fishes in his endless pockets and comes up with a very tattered box of matches. The Mistress doesn't mind at all, taking one and striking it in another fluid movement. She places the pipe between her lips and draws in a breath gently, running the flame over the surface of the tobacco until it lights. The Time Lady lets it fade out before lighting it again and taking a puff, drawing smoke into her mouth but no further. She breathes out, the smoke expelled with it.
He watches it curl upwards, spiralling into the night air.
"Do you?" She asks simply, relaxed, offering him the pipe.
He smiles, flattered by the intimacy of sharing something so precious to her.
"No. Not this time around." He says, holding out a hand.
The Mistress does not push it further, smiling gently at him again.
"Thank you."
The next evening they just stay in the vault. The Doctor knows he has been lucky with Nardole either not mentioning anything or- more likely- not having found out about their excursion.
The Mistress doesn't mind too much, glad to have her pipe back and his company for the evening. They have fish and chips and she gets him to stay in her bed again overnight, curled in his arms as he runs his fingers against the back of her neck. Somehow it doesn't seem to hurt as bad when he's holding her.
The Doctor decides the next evening that he should try cooking something because she must be bored of twentieth-century Earth cuisine by now.
She is but that doesn't change the sense of trepidation she feels as he sets to boiling pasta and cutting up vegetables. A sense that proves to be well founded when he somehow summons some kind of creature from the next universe over which takes a lot of pushing and hitting with various utensils before it finally is squeezes back through the bottom of the pan.
"I didn't try to open a portal to another world in the bottom of the saucepan." He argues, racking his hands through his hair in a move which only irritates the Time Lady at the moment. She throws her arms in the air in exasperation.
"Yes but you did summon an alien from a different universe into my nice, secure vault! Next time why don't you leave the cooking to someone who doesn't attract danger like it has an opposite charge to them." The Mistress yells back, throwing a can of tomatoes at him. He dodges irritably.
"At least it wasn't a Dalek!" He shouts, ducking as a wooden spoon comes flying at him.
"How dare you?" She shrieks back, voice breaking as she drops the next projectile, "How dare you?" She whispers, falling to her knees, hand over her face. The Doctor feels remorse in seconds and rushes to her side, holding her tight.
"I'm sorry Missy. You know I didn't mean to remind you." He says, pulling her head against his chest as she cries.
"It's- it's not you." She hiccups, clinging to him, "Stupid hormones. Make everything worse." She mutters, rubbing at her eyes.
"Hate being female." The Time Lady grumbles under her breath.
"No you don't." The Doctor responds instantly, finally sitting on the floor, her in his lap, "You love it really- you just don't like the hormones that come with it." He says confidently. She thumps at his shoulder half-heartedly.
"Shut up. Stop being so reasonable." She mumbles, head tucked under his chin. The Doctor chuckles and they stay like that for a while, listening to each other's hearts.
"Was quite impressive." The Time Lady says reluctantly, "You were only making pasta."
Their next night is far more quiet. The Doctor is thankful for it as he gently kneads at his best friend's stomach, skin comfortably cool as she rests her head against his shoulder.
"You're my best friend." She says, breathing softly as she stretches her legs out towards the end of the bed.
"You know that, don't you?" The Mistress asks, gently butting at his chin.
The Time Lord smooths over the soft skin, eyes closed as he focuses on the Time Lady in front of him.
"I know. You're mine too." He murmurs eventually.
The Mistress doesn't respond, yawning a little, but the contentment he can feel emanating from her mind speaks clearly.
The sixth night involves films and popcorn.
The Time Lady has to shove the Doctor into her bed when he falls asleep. She doesn't have any need for it yet so she stays up until he has to leave, eating the buttery popcorn until there is none left and laughing softly at the ridiculous horror films he bought for her. Who knew how little humans know about death even when it's all around them?
The last night involves the Doctor coming in with a bag full of clanking bottles.
Missy laughs in delight at his smile and the two friends stay up, reminiscing about their pasts until they finally fall asleep, sprawled haphazardly in her bed.