There was something wrong with Matthew. Arthur would have figured that it would have been America that would be the one to call him in that afternoon or sometime soon so one could imagine the look on his face when it had been Canada instead. "Dad…I have something to tell you…" Arthur massaged the corner of his eyes with his fingers.

"If it's about you being Gay and in love with your brother, I already knew it. It was just a matter of time, okay? I blame France. I really-"

"WHAT? NO DAD, NO!" Mathew shrieked. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THAT'S DISGUSTING! I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I GOT THE CAR WRECKED AT THE HOCKY GAME!" The boy clapped his hands over his mouth. That did not go how he thought it would. "Dad, I'm really sorry! I called the center from the other team a sodding hoser and he took the stick to the car and-"

"Mathew," Arthur said, newly infuriated "I would rather have heard that you were gay for your brother than hear that YOU WRECKED MY BLOODY CAR!" Arthur lept up out of his arm chair and pointed to the boy's room. "GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

"Yes Dad." Mathew sighed and went.

"Mon amor?" Francis ran out of the kitchen, spatula in hand. "qu'est-ce qui s'est passé? What happened?"

"Your son just crashed our car! That's what happened! I WAS PREPAIRED FOR THE WORST!" he screamed at the door. "but unfortunately there are worse things than knowing your son is gay and into incest."

France looked shocked "HE IS? Mon Mattieu?" He leaned against the door frame. "Impossible."

"No, Francis, that wasn't what he wanted to tell me. He WRECKED MY CAR!"

"is that all?" France shrugged and retreated into the kitchen. "Just go by a new one."

"I liked my car." England pouted. He had been so sure. Alfred and Mathew had seemed so close recently. Arthur had been prepared to accept his sons' gay love. He was a little disappointed now that he hadn't received the opportunity to show just how "hip" and forward thinking he was. "And I thought I told you not to speak that god damned devil language in my house Francis!"

-Mean while, in the boy's room-

"AH! Get that away from me Al!" Mathew cried as he squirmed out of his brother's grasp. "That's disgusting!"

"You know you like it! It feels nice doesn't it!"

"That's so wrong! Stop rubbing me with it! Ew ew ew! I'm telling papa!"

"Just hold still!"

Canada began to cry. "Get your Gym sock out of my face Alfred, that's so gross!"

"Awn. Don't cry you big baby!" Alfred got off the younger nation. "You're going to be twenty years old. You'll never get a girl acting like a little pussy." Going over to the bean bag chair at the center of the room Alfred resumed his game. "Metal gear solid rocks, Matthew; I don't understand why you don't play it. Oh look, a Russian." Canada sniffed and watched Alfred take down a Russian guard with a little too much pleasure. How cute? Dad's off his rocker. There's no way I'd be in love with this sick motherfucker.

"Do you really think I'll never get a girlfriend Al?" Alfred, engrossed in his game, only nodded blankly. "Dad…seems to think that… you and I are…"

"Are what?"

"You know boyfriend and boyfriend or something." Matthew blushed and added quickly. "I set him straight right away! Don't worry. I don't know what he was thinking." There was a long pause and the only sound that could be heard was the sound of snake crawling around in the Russian wilderness. "Al?"

"Mathew, could you please go get me a soda?"

"S-Sure. Alright. I'll be right back." Mathew got up and left.

Alfred heard the door shut behind his brother. "Para-Medic? Can I eat him?" He pushed his glasses up higher on his nose and covered his blush with his hands.