Sickness
Chapter 1: Bones
A/N Hey guys, I'm not really sure whether this is going to be long or short, I think I'm just going to go with the flow. Thank you for the reviews on all my other stories, I really appreciate it. If anyone wants to talk to me, or you want to give me ideas or talk to me about your own, feel free to PM me : )
Phil stood in front of his mirror in his baggy pyjamas, smiling slightly. He liked how his clothes were baggy now; it showed he had made a little progress. He shuddered, remembering the times when his clothes fit him, remembering being so horribly fat. No wonder nobody had wanted to be his friend. No wonder nobody had loved him. He still had a long way to go. He lifted his shirt of slowly and averted his eyes from the mirror as he tossed it onto the floor. He took a slow, deep breath, and then turned his face back to the mirror…
It was disgusting. His skin, which had always been pale, was almost translucent. He didn't even look human anymore. You could count his ribs, his collarbone was prominent. V-lines, things that many people sought for, worked hard for, had been taken too far. It was grotesque. You could see his bones, and they appeared sharp, as though any minute they were going to cut through his skin. His arms and legs had no muscle, they were thin and spindly. He looked so fragile, and he was constantly slightly hunched these days. His cheeks were sunken, and his eyes bulged out of their sockets. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his eyes had lost their piercing blue. Now they just looked washed out, tiered.
He studied himself for a long time. His skin was stretched over his fat horribly, and his ribs were barely visible. His collar bone was still hidden under the layers of fat, and his V-lines definitely needed to show more. He smiled slightly; at least it was clear that they were there. His arms and legs bulged, and his cheeks were puffed out. He looked like a fat cartoon character. He knew he was fat, he felt so unhealthy. He was exhausted all the time, pure laziness. No wonder he'd managed to get so fat.
Suddenly, Phil broke through. The small part of the old Phil that still remained. He could see how disgusting, how unhealthy he looked. He looked dead, he realised suddenly. It really wouldn't be hard to imagine himself as a skeleton at this point. Why was he doing this to himself? Just because there was no way Dan would…. The new Phil took this chance to take back over. He concentrated for a moment, squashing those thought, pushing the old Phil back into the prison in the darkest corner of his mind.
He averted his eyes away from the full length mirror again, and dressed quickly. He smiled as he looped his belt through the loops in his jeans. He had to make another hole to keep them up. He was getting there, slowly. He still had a long way to go. A long way until he would be worth anyone's attention, anyone's love.
He walked out of his bathroom and glanced quickly at his phone, ignoring all the messages. It was 6:30, Dan wouldn't be up yet. That was good; he wouldn't have to go through the effort of pretending to eat breakfast. He walked slowly into the living room, wincing slightly. He ached all over, but it was worth it. The pain was a sign of all his hard work. He didn't even notice hunger pains anymore, no annoying stabbing pains in his stomach. His body had finally realised that what he was doing was healthy, and it wasn't fighting anymore. He slumped on the sofa, and just sat there.