I had to write the reveal fic. It shouted at me until I did. If I get enough reviews I might even be persuaded to continue it.
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. If only though. I would love to have Merlin and Gwaine all to myself, perhaps with a side order of Arthur.
Discovery.
Merlin has thought about this moment many times since he discovered the true nature of his destiny. He has feared it and longed for it. He has come so very close to confessing all to his king and master and turned from it in the last moments.
He has envisioned dramatic moments, the saving of lives mid battle or the desperate clawing grasp to bring Arthur back from the brink of death. He has dreamed of saving his friend in front of dozens or that private moment alone when he might defend this man he loves, in a peculiar way, with his magic and perhaps even his life. He has longed for the courage to stand before Morgana, and any other comers for that matter, and proclaim himself Emrys, to raise his hand and speak a word and fling them from Arthur's life.
He has thought of quiet confessions in the dim haze of Arthur's chambers late at night when he banks the fire before returning to his own room, has considered the possibility of simply writing it all down and leaving it somewhere for Arthur to find. He has even entertained the possibility that one day Arthur and the knights will put together the meaning and significance of the things that happen around him, the words that have been spoken with reference to him, and finally realise what he is and what he can do. The possibility that someone will connect Strength, Courage and Magic.
Merlin has thought about all the possible ways that he could be discovered, has thought about all the possible outcomes that could follow. Even Kilgarrah has featured in his day dreams and nightmares. That sneaking from the castle to consult the dragon could be the end of him one day after all. As it stands, however, the discovery happens in the one way that Merlin never thought it would.
Carelessness is something that Merlin is known for in one way or another, although he knows that no one will ever realise that it is that which covers for the sheer grace of his magic. So it is probably fitting that it is carelessness that gets Merlin discovered in the eyes of king and knights. A moment when Merlin thinks he is alone and whispers over a pile of damp wood to ignite a fire which stubbornly refuses to burn. It is over confidence because he has never been caught before. It is a flash of gold and a leap of flame in the sight of a king which seals his fate and leaves him sprawled in the dirt at the point of a great sword as Arthur hisses words of betrayal, lies and deceit.
It is the press of that blade that leaves him unable to say a word, though desperate to defend himself, fearful that should he speak the wrong inflection, the wrong syllable, will leave him lifeless in the dirt. He could use his magic now, he knows, to defend himself, to fling Arthur back and force him to listen to his words and explanations. Now, as ever, he cannot bring himself to do it. Merlin knows, believes, that his magic exists solely to protect Arthur, to facilitate his reign, and he will not raise it against him. He will not use it against this king he has sworn to give his life to protect if need be. Not even in defence of himself. For once he keeps his silence, meets Arthur's eyes and allows the king to say his piece until there is finally a question that he is permitted to answer.
"Just tell me how long, Merlin, how long have you been using magic?"
This question has only one answer. This one answer which could destroy the difficult friendship that they have forever. This one answer that even the knights are waiting to hear, their own weapons in hands that grasp them with the reluctance of friendship and comradeship. The one answer that not one of them will expect. He knows that they will want to hear him say that Arthur is imagining things. That they will want to hear him assure them that he is the same bumbling, babbling, fool that they have all known all these years. He knows that it is time for the truth.
"All my life."
Artemis