Author's Note: You know, you can read the songfic if you'd like, but I think that the only true way to experience the emotion of the piece is to listen to the song while reading it. As you know, I own neither the song nor the MR characters. But I hope you'll enjoy this magnificently pure tension-breaker between Max and Fang.
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
I never really needed to feel the pain of a broken heart to know that mine wasn't whole. Every single time I looked at him, especially lately, it was almost unbearable to know that he wasn't mine. I was a leader, I was a harsh girl that didn't need anyone. Or so I thought. No one could get the best of me. I was taught to believe that the Flock were all that mattered, and that I needed to fight to protect them. This was of course true, but I couldn't fool myself anymore.
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
I never thought that I would ever look at Fang that way. I never thought that we would share not one, but several kisses that would sway me, that would change my life. All I have ever wanted in this life was expressed in those moments. I know I shouldn't, but I want him. Yes, you, Fang. I need you more than I need the breath in my lungs. I'm not whole without you. I need you as my other half. The Flock must look at me like I've lost my mind. But I have. I'm crazy about you, darling.
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
I don't consider anyone else in this world as important as you. Even the Flock has some diminished degree when I think about the feelings that I have for you. Fang, don't you see that I've been here for you our whole lives. I'm reaching my hand out, and I want you to take it. There's nothing more important to me than knowing that you love me. I don't care how it's viewed. I just want to be with you, and it fucking hurts, Fang. It hurts when you brush me aside. I could live enveloped in your wings, and I just don't think you see it, see me.
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
I can't even explain what you mean to me, boy. I can't properly convey to you how I feel…
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
The flock doesn't understand the feelings I have for you, and all they're doing is just to make sure that no one gets hurt. I love them, but they don't know that together we'll be stronger than we could ever imagine to be apart.
But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, baby, baby
I really do think that you're the only one that understands me. Maybe I am nuts. But I've known you for so long. We underwent the same torture together, and you have no idea the bond that forged between us. When you kissed me last, my true feelings for you were finally unfurled. I didn't know how to deal with it at first, but I can tell you now, I can say to you now that I am head over heels in love with you… I'd do anything you asked me to, Fang. You're the most important thing in the world to me.
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I can't hide it anymore. I can't feel this way forever. My heart's breaking, and I don't know how I can approach this feeling that I don't even fully understand. You're like my brother, but… no, you're something more than that to me. You mean so much more. I haven't known many other people in this world, but I couldn't care less if I had just you to spend eternity with. I have my family, and now I need my love. That's you, boy. Step up and take your crown.
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing (ooh)
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
you cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
Iggy, Nudge… someone… Is it really that hard to see that I'm crazy for this boy? Ha. I don't think I can explain it more fully than that. When I turned the radio on in the kitchen this morning, this song came on. I had all these thoughts, and now I'm sick of this pain. I'm going upstairs.
I walk upstairs, up to Fang and Iggy's room, and I feel my heart pounding all the way up to the back of my throat. This is it, I tell myself. I'm going to tell this boy how I feel about him if it kills me. Because if I don't, I'll die anyway. I mean, really, how much can a girl be expected to take, when the one thing that she adores is dangling right in front of her, and she can just barely touch it with her fingertips. Almost draw it to her, but she's only a few inches (but at the same time, worlds) away from grabbing it.
I'm not going to bleed anymore. I open the door, and there's Iggy sleeping. Pretty when he sleeps. I wonder, only for a second, if he sees in his dreams. Then, I look over, across the room. There he is. My one and only. That dark hair, that muscular body, no blanket, no shirt, but a sheet over his waist, his black wings lying relaxed. I walk over to his bed, and I sit on its edge. I extend my hand out, touching his well-defined back, right in between his wings. I feel my courage start to wane a little. No, I tell myself. I'm not going to back off this time. I'm not going to let him do it either. We do this right here, right now. I need to know, or I just might die. I lean over, and I whisper into his ear,
"Fang… wake up." He stirs, turning over, his eyes open, soft, and lovely. He looks as if he hadn't been sleeping for a while, and was just lying in bed, awake. His attention comes to me, and I bring my hand up to his face. I touch his cheek. He smiles, looking a bit confused. "I have something I need to say to you," I continue to whisper. I beckon him out into the hallway. He follows me. This is it, I think to myself. I need to know, and I need a decision to be made right now. I can't handle the uncertainty anymore. He silently closes the door behind him, and I push him slowly up against the wall, my hands lingering on his bare chest. Tears start to flow from my eyes, as his face expresses concern.
"What's wrong?" He asks me.
"You. My heart." I reply through silent sobs, trying to remember that there are people in the house that are still sleeping. It's 7:16 on a Sunday morning, a quick glance at the digital clock at the end of the hall tells me. As far as I can tell, we're the only ones awake.
"What?" He asks me, not understanding.
"My heart is breaking right in front of you, and you don't even seem to realize it," I explain, the tears flowing even harder, Bleeding Love still playing in my head. "I can't handle the pain anymore. It's like I'm being torn apart, a little bit at a time. Everyday seeing you, interacting with you, loving you, and not having you feel the same way for me… I could just… die."
"Max, I—" I put my finger to his lips to silence him.
"You have no idea how much I… how much I love you. I think I'm going crazy. I'm flying high, I'm falling hard. And I don't think anyone's going to catch me this time." Fang looks away, his eyes pensive.
"I love you," he tells me. Plainly, simply. Those words flow through my head, through my heart like a harp melody. That's what he is. My angel. Black wings aside, he is my angel. Still crying, I manage to smile, pain being relieved like light washing over me. He places his hands on my cheeks, and points my direction up toward his. Slowly, carefully, he brings his head down to mine. His lips touch mine, lightly at first, and then our mouths truly connect. Our tongues dance and roll, my every dream coming true at 7:16 on this Sunday morning. My arms instinctively reach up, grabbing the back of his head with my hands, drawing him toward me, not letting him go for anything. Our bodies move closer together, and I can feel my torso touching his, as he slowly slides one arm around my middle. This is all I have ever wanted. I have anything I could ever dream of. Our kiss breaks, and he pulls back, the traces of tears lying in his eyes. Was he… crying? Fang? Impossible. As far as I know, the kid doesn't have tear ducts.
"Fang, are y—?" this time, he cuts me off, placing his finger to my lips.
"Maximum, I… I've always loved you. It's all that I've wanted for the longest time," he explains. Well then, why couldn't he have told me before? Was I not being clear enough? Truthfully, that is a possibility. "I just wasn't ready. But you know, I wasn't entirely sure it was what you wanted. I thought that I was sparing your feelings," he continues. "Max, I will love you forever. Nothing can come between us." His hands reach down and take hold of mine. My tears slowly dry, my elation swelling up inside me like a balloon. I smile at him.
"You mean it?" I ask him, very seriously wanting to know.
"More… than anything," he replies, my joy, my absolute adoration for him making me glow. I pull him in for another life-changing, all-satisfying kiss. I savor it, as if it would be my last, but taking special pleasure in knowing that it was only the first in a lifetime of affection that he would show me. My heart beats, and I feel complete and utter happiness as I look up at him. My angel. And you know, I don't feel as if my heart is bleeding anymore.