Ok Adriana, this is for u triggered by 'the discussion' thoughts in italics. This is more of a 'what are they thinking piece and relates back to 3rd Heart and Deeks worries about 'Max'
Deeks was sure he was in agony. After the 'proposal discussion' he had been quiet all the way home. "Fern, I'm gonna take a walk on the beach. Some things aren't setting right and I need to think. Back in 45-ok?" Then he was gone.
Kensi was on the couch and just sat there stunned. Is this due to the baby/proposal/marriage discussion? Oh my God was he not ready? Did I scare him away-did I ruin it? He's the one for me forever. He knows that, what is his concern?
Deeks was walking on the beach and by now was in full sweat does she remember when I flipped on having kids? It was after Angelo and that whole 3rd heart thing. Mentoring is kinda me testing the water but my 3rd heart is Max. The man that beats his wife and kid. Is that where I'm headed. I can't marry her if she wants kids and I don't. That will split us up in a New York minute. After walking, sitting and staring at the water and feeling like the world was falling on him-cause it was. Life without Kensi isn't something he wanted to even consider but here he was considering it. Do I bolt and go back to LAPD and just end it or do I come up with something else. Who do I talk to-do I tell her? NO! I gotta resolve this before I saying anything to her or see gets wind of it or figures it out. Gonna take her about 2 days and then I'm toast. Hetty, Granger, the wonder twins, G, Sam-who? Thappa would be great but he's gone. And then all Thappa's words came back. "Home is in the smile of my wife, the laughter of my children." Kensi's smile had almost brought him to tears that night. Nope, it's gotta be Sam, he and Thappa are so much alike. He'll understand. Having resolved the issue- -in his mind anyway- -he headed home. "I'm back princess."
"Deeks, what's wrong? That's not like you. You talk almost everything out with me but you never go off and try to deal with something yourself. Spill it buster." At that point she wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head against his chest, hearing his heart going a mile a minute. She knew this was a biggie. That narrowed down the field to proposal-marriage-kids.
"Thinking about what you said about a bigger place. One that's ours. Both names on the title, the whole bit. Kinda big step that I hadn't thought about. I was busy thinking about flipping houses, making money and giving you things. I think part of that is a reaction to mom having little or nothing for so long. I wasn't sure you really meant what you said when we talked about it.
2 DAYS LATER
"Mr. Deeks, you partner with Sam. Since the culprits split up as they entered Angeles National Forest I want them tracked down and brought to justice. Now go" and Hetty turned to leave the room.
"Uh, Hetty, why um well"
"Mr. Deeks, your partner and Sam are our 2 best trackers, it makes sense to split you up this way. There are no ulterior motives Detective Deeks" and as she turned and walked out of the room she threw back over her shoulder "this time" and walked out with a huge grin!
Looking at each other Kensi could see the absolute surprise on Deeks face. This was not his doing to spend time with Sam for any reason. Ok then, let's get these guys and she walked out with G after that last quick thought.
They had almost an hours drive as Deeks spoke "Sam I need to ask you something but first you need some background." Deeks went on to talk about his childhood, his dad, mom and especially Max. Then he told him about the discussion in the tunnel. Finally he asked "So what do I do? What's your opinion and give it to me straight. I'm scared and don't want to do the wrong thing but I need help here."
After almost 5 minutes Sam finally took a deep breath and offered "Deeks, you and Kensi are made for each other. The past each of you have. The crap you have overcome. And you never show anger. You work so hard at it and now I know why. I have been waiting for this conversation. I told Kensi once that I wasn't happy about the 2 of you together, but no way I wanted to lose either of you. That still goes. You have proven your ability to put your relationship aside. G and I are both happy about the 2 of you being together. Marriage won't change that and it won't change how we feel. As far as kids, being a father is great. There is no way, place, or situation on this earth that would eve make you harm an innocent kid-or Kensi for that matter. Besides think of the consequences if you raised a hand to either one! You are amazing with kids. Better than me and Kensi, despite how she acts has proven she can do it. Not only do you have my permission and that of G's to go for it we would both be disappointed if you didn't. We have discussed this so this is not a knee jerk reaction. I can't speak for Granger but I'm also pretty sure the rest of OPS is behind you also. That tell ya what ya need?" Deeks was stunned. Sam went on "look I meant what I said to you after Siderov and I did some digging about your time as a Public Defender and I spent some time with Bates. You were a hell of a lawyer and undercover cop. That you made it thru college, law school and then excelled at both is amazing given everything. That you came out of all that the man you are may be the 8th wonder of the world. I would talk to Hetty to be sure she is ok and please-damn it-become an agent. No more double reports, extra meetings and letting Kensi and us worry about you getting called back for something."
"Wow, a well, just wow. Guess I better start putting together a plan. Gonna need some help setting up what I think I need to do but got a list of people to talk to first. Starting with Hetty. Thank you Sam, I ever expected all this from you. I figured a grudging ok or even silence so just wow, ya, thanks again." Deeks leaned back in the car, closed his eyes and smiled. At ease for the first time in days. Ok Hetty is first, then Julia, mom I can call. Then there's Granger. That could be tough as he's a friend of Don. Throw in the wonder twins and the app. for agent status. What about Director Vance. Guess that's a question for Hetty. Wow lot to do and then the ring. Gotta be understated but amazing. Based on the discussion after here week of luxury a big gaudy ring will turn her off. Damn, wonder if Monty can help with some of this! Then he chuckled quietly and smiled as Sam looked at him and smiled like he knew what he was thinking. He probably did.
That's the first part. We take a peek at Deeks getting permission and then we get the proposal-if everyone goes along. What say-wanta see the rest. It's almost done just need to know if it's worth finishing and posting. Whole thing is 2-3 chapters.