How had she ended up exactly like Mamiji? Okay, not exactly. But still.
Her heart ached as Mamiji broke her Karva-chauth Vrat, by seeing a photo of her husband through the sieve. And instantly, Khushi's already disturbed mood got even worse.
She was having the worst of the Karva-chauths worldwide, to be said in the least. And all because of that wretched Arnav Singh Raizada, her so-called better half.
When everyone got up at 4 for Sargi, she got busy bidding her goodbye to that stupid husband of hers. He just had to have a flight that day, right?
How many dreams had she thought of, for her very first Karva-Chauth. Yet he, he had been as weird as he used to get so many times, when she had worn that red and blue lehenga last night, to see whether it fit or not.
And the next thing she knew, he had told that he needed to go to Mumbai early morning. Couldn't he just cancel his work this one day? This one day when she wanted to give him all the importance in the world? This one day when she was ready to starve just for his long life?
She had cribbed all night then, tossing about just to tell him that she didn't want him gone. Yet to no avail.
He had left at dawn. Leaving her to carry on the various rasams and rivaz by herself. And by leaving, it was as if he had taken her appetite with himself. She didn't even feel like having the meethi matthi Naniji had made especially for her Sargi. She didn't feel like eating anything for that matter. No amount of coaxing by Jiji worked, her appetite just wouldn't budge. So she had given the excuse that she felt queasy, eating something at 4.30 in the morning. She had the customary bite of kheer from Nani, and left to sleep in the now cold lonely bed of hers.
As if sleep would have come anymore. Why couldn't her husband read her mind already? There were times when she had been pretty sure that Arnav Singh Raizada was capable of mind reading.
Then why? Why on the most important of times had he done what she didn't what him to do in the least?
In the morning, she had busied herself with the breakfast preparations for the rest of the family. But watching how Akash Jiju doted on her Jiji, making a conscious effort to not eat anything in front of her had made Khushi jealous of her elder sister for probably the first time in her life.
Why couldn't Arnavji atleast be present?
She sighed again.
The afternoon Puja had left her in silent tears. She had decked up in that blue and red lehenga, and covered her head with the pure golden Dupatta from the marriage they had carried out with all the rituals. Even though it didn't match at all.
He had been so supportive of all the rituals back then. Then, why not now?
She had kohled her weepy eyes, put on the red bindi, and darkened the now perennial line of sindoor on her forehead. Yet, he hadn't even picked her call once the whole day.
She had felt so angry on him before the afternoon Puja that she once thought of breaking her fast! But then, after hearing the story about the girl who lost her husband and then was blessed by the Goddess of Chauth, Khushi had just wanted to weep her heart out for even having the wretched thought.
Not that the crying had made her appetite return. When Jiji had asked her to have lemonade or tea just after the Puja, she had expertly lied that she had had hers in her room. And even though she knew it was the only time she was allowed to drink something before the Moon came, she didn't feel like drinking.
She just didn't feel anything for that matter.
All she wanted was to lash out at that pathetic husband of hers. Why couldn't he be here?
She got up, and made her way downstairs from the roof. Her jiji was breaking her Vrat by watching her very tall Akashji from the sieve.
And Khushi didn't feel like becoming another Mamiji. So, she just made her way to the room.
"Khushiji, aapne vrat todh lia?" Anjali asked her on her way downstairs.
"Hum poolside pe todenge Di. Aap chinta mat kijiye…"She smiled her fake smile at Di, to calm her down.
"Jaldi todh lijiyega.. Aapka pehla KarvaChauth hai… Aur aapko aadat bhi nahi hai itni der bina khaaye rehne ki… Chote ka wait mat kijiyega…"Anjali's voiced was laced with pure concern, as if apologizing unconsciously on her brother's behalf.
"Di… Hum khaa lenge.. Abhi hi jaake todh lenge vrat…" Khushi reassured her, and made her way down to her room.
She kept her Puja ki thaal on the side table, rearranging her Dough-made Diya so that it didn't blow out with the wind coming from the poolside.
A headache was building up in her and still she didn't feel like breaking her fast with a mere photo of him.
So, she lay down for a while, hoping that the headache would subside eventually.
She heard someone panting, the breath feeling hot on her face. Had she dozed off?
"Khushi? Khushi?" She heard him call, and in mere seconds, she was out of her sleep.
She watched his sweat laden forehead and brows. Had he been running? Why?
"I came as fast as I could." His voice came out in a mere whisper.
Yaa right. If only that were the case. She could only deduce that this was a dream.
None of her dreams had come true the whole day. So this had to be unreal too.
But then, she suddenly felt her headache surfacing back too.
She winced as the pinching pain came back, realizing that this wasn't a dream after all.
"Khushi…. Are you feeling alright?" His voice was heavy now, laced with fear.
God, he looked so crazed right now. Khushi wanted to laugh! If he was this concerned, why wasn't he here the whole day?
The recollection of that fact made her flinch away from him. The anger from the whole day making its way out of her.
"Aap yahaan kyun nahi the Arnavji? Ab chinta ho rahi hai aapko?" She croaked… Her voice breaking at places due to her dry throat. And her tears now tracing a violent path down her cheeks.
He cupped her cheeks with his hands, exuding all the warmth he could… He pulled her out of her bed, and grabbing her Thaal from the table, he led her out to the poolside, where the carmine moon had made its full dramatic appearance.
She held on to her frantically pacing heart, beating against her will at his touch, and then took the kalash of water out of the thaal, pouring it in the direction of the moon, giving her ardh to the holy diety. Her husband still refused to meet her eye, watching in some other direction as she did all this.
She then took the sieve from the thaal and placing the diya carefully on its circumference, saw the moon through it, and threw the diya with as much force as her weak body right now could muster, into the opposite direction to the moon, being utterly careful not to turn her head in that direction.
Then she turned the sieve, and saw her husband's face. For a few seconds, her heart felt happy, to atleast be able to break her vrat with the living breathing him being in front of her… And not his photo.
He took the sieve from her hands, and made her sit on the chairs in the poolside. He made her drink, and even eat, without so much as uttering a single word, and keeping his eyes down to the ground.
"Aap kyun nahi the Arnavji…" her voice was much softer now, just wanting to know the fact.
He looked at her, and just couldn't find his voice for a moment.
So he did what he could. He lifted her back to their bedroom, and placed her gently on the bed.
She knew he was preparing himself. She knew Arnav Singh Raizada was still not used to give answers or reasons for his actions. But she knew, that he was going to answer her.
"I couldn't… I just couldn't…" He tried to choke up, gazing into those questioning hazel orbs, "I couldn't watch you starve yourself." He managed.
She gasped. Was it such a meager reason? That was it?
"Khushi, last night… You wore that lehenga… And it reminded me of the time I forced you to marry me… I alienated everyone from you… I did so many wrong things to you, Khushi… And then, the thought that you still were willing to starve yourself for a whole day, just for me… Was too much to bear…" He explained himself, sounding like a man who had been carrying a great amount of burden on his shoulders for a very long time.
Khushi didn't know what to tell him anymore. She didn't know her hurt of one day was more than the confession he had just made before her. The guilt he carried in his heart, almost made her want to reassure him of her love… Made her want to tell him outright that he deserved her love.
So, she did the best that she could.
"Aapko pata hai humne yeh joda kyun pehena hai?" She held her stubbled cheek in her palm, watching his eyes turn into a questioning expression.
"Humne yehi pehen rakha tha jab aapne humaari maang pehli baar bhari thi. Chaahe zabardasti se hi sahi, yehi humaara shaadi ka joda hai…" She smiled as she explained, as if willing him to get the fact straight that she wouldn't have it any other way.
He smiled a little, relief washing through him… which made her chide him for something.
"Toh humaara tohfa kahaan hai? Karvachauth ka?" She asked, sure of the fact that he wouldn't have been able to arrange anything.
He got up from the bed, and moved to get the briefcase from the recliner. He opened it up, bringing something wrapped in newspaper near her.
"I am sorry. I was running out of time so I couldn't get it gift wrapped." He muttered apologetically, while she was shocked at the gesture itself.
She unwrapped the newspaper, only to find a beautiful dark red dupatta, with intricate blue vines weaving throughout it. The borders were made of gold lining, just to match the joda Khushi was wearing.
"I read this on the internet. I can gift this one, right? Now you have a matching one with your Joda." He explained.
While all she could do was kiss him to shut his mouth, thanking Devi Maiyya for the husband she had bestowed on her.