A/N - A certain Alison Hendrix visits a local club with her "date", where a certain Elizabeth Childs plays her music with her band. Something like a love at first sight thing.
There was a time in your life when you just wanted to say no. No strings attached. But no. You have to say yes, because No is not enough. Not without you making a total fool of yourself. And you're far too tired to fight anymore. You just go on with it.
Donnie is..Donnie. You realized that the moment you laid your eyes on him. He was that person you never even want to touch. In any way. And yet he still persists, asking you out, writing you bad poems, even befriending your aunt. Its terrible, but what can you do ?
Your aunt understands. The only person in your family. She understands your needs. She knows what you prefer. She does too. That's why she's the black sheep of your family. That's why you joined her. That's why she takes care of you. You have no one else left.
He knows of your affection towards your own gender. And he doesn't care. Like all men, he but be believes he can cure you. As if you were sick. You told your aunt once and she knew that feeling well. She was a subject to that for years. Now she hates him even more and you cannot help but feel happy that someone is finally trying their best to protect you. You finally feel loved.
So when Donnie, again, asks you out with that puppy voice of his and his idiotic smile and eyes filled with desperation and hope, your aunt has the biggest urge to throw him out of the window. But you stop her. You the offer. His band, that has absolutely no taste in music, is playing live and you want to go. Not because of them, but because it was a while since you heard live music.
You want to get out. For a while. To forget everything. To just relax. You can just ignore him the entire night. That is your grand plan. Get drunk enough, listen to some rock ballads and then go home. Plain and simple. Donnie agrees, promising to leave you alone the entire night, not wanting to try anything you wouldn't agree with. You are surprised at fist. But as you see his scared gaze, you realize your aunt did a good work again.
You are free to enjoy the night as you please.
You hit a club, or more like a pub, that doesn't look that bad. The stench is bearable, not many drunk patrons also. You wonder if they were here to truly enjoy the music. You make an inside joke. Who, in his right state of mind, would listen to Donnie's music in a sober state. You also laugh. Its bad and Donnie doesn't deserve it, but you laugh anyway. You have every right to.
You look around yourself as Donnie picks your table. You expected something much more larger, but you're glad its not that big. There weren't many people and that suited you. The podium was rather small but it was enough to make magic happen. You could see the drums being prepared by a rather strange person. She wore her glasses proudly as she hummed her tune. The background music was off so you could hear it clearly. She was cute, to be honest. Her dreadlocks giving her that dark, yet very pleasant image. She picked her phone and you could hear a plain, simple French. You know the basics and its rude for you to listen, so you ask Donnie where's the restrooms. He points you in the right direction and you leave.
On your way there, you see him getting up from your table, starting a tiny argue with the owner of the club you were in. You cant help it but smile. Maybe tonight you wont have to listen to that horrific thing he is making, that he calls art. You see the dreadlocks girl taking her phone away from her ear, but before that you hear a simple I love you, I miss you too and I'll see you after we're done. You feel jealous. You want this too. You want someone to miss you, to call you every moment to hear your voice. You shake your head and continue your little journey for the restrooms.
There are posters, well just one, hanging near the door. A group called Bastion plays live today and you wonder. Could the girl you saw be one of them ? Maybe. Maybe not. You don't really care. You are ready to step into the women restroom when you hear a loud laughter, a couple of curses and another wave on unhealthy laughter. You realize the VIP section is inhumanly close to the restrooms and you don't dare to question that logic. The laughter you hear was..addictive. You do not know what that means and you don't want to. You just go in and support yourself over the sink. You feel your memories haunting you, other laugh at you and it hurts, your mother's own harsh words. You remember it all. And you don't want to. You splash some water on your neck, you try your best to control your emotions. You did it before. You can do it now.
Suddenly you hear the voices you heard a moment ago. "C'mon Childs, we have a crowd to destroy !" the one voice said in an English accent. The other voice laughed and replied "Just gonna freshen up a bit.". The doors open up, revealing an angel. It must have been. No one could look so heavenly anyway. You try your best to not stare, you really do. But as you see her nervous smile as she slowly walks to the sink, you find it hard to resist. You want to ask if she's alright but your voice left you. You cant get one solid word out of yourself. She seems nervous, she's all trembling, her hands are shaking, her breaths are ragged, she keeps repeating You can do it Childs, get a hold of yourself, totally ignoring your presence. You don't mind. That much.
You want to leave quietly but something is keeping you here. Something is holding you here. "You'll be perfect, don't worry" you say and her eyes changes their focus from the mirror to your own hazel orbs. You see the surprise in her eyes, and if you would wait, you're sure she would thank you in time. "Its all the stress, you know ? Its not like we're going for the first time, but it still gets me." she explains and you nod. It must be terrible and in a way, you understand how she feels. That scared gaze turns into a full smile and you smile with her. She's too beautiful to not smile. Someone bursts into the room and you recognize her. Its the dreadlocks girl. "Beth lets go, we're late !" she said, grabbing the other woman's hand, taking her away. She whispered a silent apology your way and you smile. This night might be a good one after all.
You return to your table, seeing your pissed and angry date. As you walk by, you realize that the club is fairly full now. Many people have come to listen to this group and you cant wait till you hear them yourself. Donnie ordered you a glass of red wine, at least he got something right. You sit down and then the rain of insults and curses hits you. "Because of those three up there, we cant play ! The owner said he has enough money for just one group and he chose them !" he yelled as he drank his shot of whatever he was having. You thank the heavens for that. You wont need to listen to that disaster, nor will you have to watch his ridiculous friends. Your night might be even better now. You smile and you sip from your glass of wine, looking at the group on the podium, doing the final settings. The lead singer, the person you now know as Beth Childs, prepared the microphone, the other one, the one with the English accent readied her guitar and the one with dreadlocks sat behind her drums, playing with the sticks. Donnie keeps barking and yelling you totally ignore him. He is nothing to you right now. Your eyes are solely focusing on Beth. You cant seem to look any other way.
When the lights go out and you hear her testing the microphone, your heart beats more harder than ever. You do not understand, but you enjoy it. She clears her throat and you do the same. Donnie starts with his bitter comments and you slap his arm, telling him to shut up. You have enough of his bitterness for one night. She welcomes everyone, the new, the old faces. You are glad she does. Hearing her voice is very amusing to you. You cant wait till she start singing.
She introduces her two friends behind her. First she mentions the girl that plays with her sticks by the drums, the girl with dreadlocks and a beautiful smile. Cosima, is her name, Beth says. The other one, the punk styled English accented girl is Sarah. You smile as she finally says the name of their first song.
Cosima starts her little game with her sticks, echoing the entire room and Sarah joins quickly, her fingers doing their magic on her guitar. Beth is just smiling there, tilting her head in the rhythm, looking backwards at her two friends. When her parts come, you feel enchanted. Her voice is as smooth as velvet, yet so dark and mesmerizing. You feel like you tasted something forbidden and you do not dare to ever give it back. She sings those words with closed eyes at first and you understand. Her nervousness hasn't wore off yet. But she plays it right. No one suspects a thing and the crowds are soon joining her, silently singing the same words Beth does. You don't know them and that is a shame.
When the chorus comes, you feel your body is on fire. Beth opens her eyes and she's pointing at everyone in the crowd. But her eyes are solely focused on you, the girl that was sitting with her idiotic date in the back. You somehow feel blessed. Tunes gets more primal, more wild and lively. You never felt this way. You have the biggest urge to go out and run through the entire city, your blood wanting the adrenalin and excitement. She sings as if her life depends on it and Sarah shortly joins her, doing her the second voice. Her guitar game is amazing and it burns through your veins more than anything you ever had the pleasure to taste. You could see Cosima back there, having a wide smile as she plays with her sticks in the air. You suspect she is a very childish character but you don't mind. Its all so cute.
The song ends quicker than it began and you have no idea how to feel about it. Should you be relieved that you'll hear some more, or should you be sad that its one more song less. You don't know. All you know is that Donnie is tugging your arm, telling you to get your jacket. That you're leaving. You shake your head and laugh into his face. He has no idea who you are and what you can do. You tell him to either shut up and sit down or to leave you alone. You have no intentions on leaving. Not by a long shot. You are surprised when you see him obey. He sits down, ordering another shot of what you guess is whiskey.
The next song is just as wild as the first one. Maybe a little calmer but somehow more aggressive. Beth explains how they worked hard on this one and you understand why. Its more like an duet than a single voiced song. You like that. Beth's voice was still more alluring than the one Sarah had. And when Beth sings What the fuck is wrong with me, you ask the same question. In a less ruder manner, of course. You don't have the time to think about it because she yells, along with Sarah, and you love it. Its not that hoarse, metal like yelling. Its not like she is trying to scream her soul out. No. Its entirely different. You love how wild she is. How easy it is for her to lose control. You love it all.
Sarah starts without her and Beth's just making funny random voices, and somehow her eyes never left your table. She keeps staring at you. Sarah yells again and Beth quickly joins, she plays with the microphone like a pro, she moves around her friends like she was meant to do this one job for the rest of her life. She touches her co-singer's cheek and they laugh and you feel the blazing jealousy in your heart. You had no idea it could be so strong. You know its all a game but it still stings. In the end, you ask yourself, why should you be jealous ? Its not like you two have anything.
The yelling then abruptly stopped. There was silence and Beth takes a deep breath. She goes in slowly, very very slowly and silently. You can almost not hear it and that's making it even more interesting. Sarah joins shortly after wards, but you cant hear her. Its not like she's not singing. No. Its just that you decided that you only want to hear Beth. At least for now. Its nothing personal. You like Sarah's voice.
It ends quickly, and Beth ends up staring eye to eye with Sarah, like they were long time lovers. You somehow understand. Sex sells after all. They all just seem like good friends but money are money. You understand. You do not try to fight your mind over this. You have no right.
Many, many minutes passed and Beth didn't stopped singing for more than 3 minutes. Either she was waiting for Sarah or she was drinking. You stare at her and you realize just how much she loves this. Her nervousness was entirely gone and you can see just how fine she feels. Like a fish in her stream. If you could tear your eyes from her, you could see how agitated your date is. You could see how he wants to leave and how much he wants you, but you cant bring yourself to care. Not for him, not for anyone but the brunette on the stage with the voice like velvet.
A voice that will surely haunt your every dream from now on.
You have no idea how many songs passed and frankly you don't really care. Not till the point when she says that the last song is dedicated to someone special. You look at your wrist watch and its already too late. Again, you cant bring yourself to care. You might never see this woman again and you wont lose the last moment with her. You simply cant.
She starts slowly, at first. Her mesmerizing eyes never focuses anywhere but on you. Sarah has to smack her arm to awake her from her little trance, and you feel so strange. Could it be that she feels the connection you have ? You have no idea. You feel it alright, and yet you still cant truly understand it. All you know is that you have to talk to this woman. You cant lose contact.
Sarah joins her and the song is suddenly more and more wild, yet its still tame enough. You can feel it. Somehow deep inside you know Beth meant you, when she mentioned the Special person. You don't understand why it should be you, but it doesn't matter. You know, that's all that matters. You wonder if it was really true.
The end comes sooner than you expected and very soon you see crowds people raising from their stools, clapping their hands, screaming in pleasure. They were so very pleased and you join them, ignoring Donnie entirely. You clap and you yell how good they were and soon you see them leaving the podium and suddenly everything somehow hurts. You don't know why. Or you do, but you want to ignore it.
"What a waste of time." Donnie says bitterly and you cannot help but roll your eyes. Jealousy. He will never be so good as them. Not by a long shot. He offers you your jacket and you smile, shaking your head. You don't want to go, you want to talk to Beth. Or try to get as much info on her as possible. That's your main goal right now. You couldn't care less about Donnie and his horny ego. He tries to touch you in any way, yearning for something and every time you deny him, he gets more agitated. You are glad to see the owner of the club slowly walking towards Donnie again. You try your best to slip away. Suddenly you realize how bad you feel. How tipsy you are, barely moving and if so, your every movement hurts. You have to get out. The room you were in seemed to shorten by your every breath. It seems like its all gonna fall down on you.
Somehow you made it outside, your head is trashing and your senses are dull and you're not feeling right. Donnie must have slipped something into your glass because you haven't felt this bad since forever. You use the wall as your support and you inhale the somewhat fresh air. Only then you realize there is someone other than you in the alley, holding a cigarette but not smoking. You try to focus on who it was and its really easy. The scent, the eyes, even the haircut, you know very precisely its Beth. She slowly walks towards you, asking if you're alright. "You look like shit." she says and you laugh. You certainly feel like that. She placed the cigarette behind her ear, her hands holding your chin, her eyes scanning yours. "He gave you something, didn't he ?" she asked, her fingers touching your pulse point and you nod. You are not certain if he did, but its the only possible way. "He cant understand." you whisper, enjoying her touch on your cheek. You know you act like a horny teenager but it seems right. "Understand what ?" she asks and you hesitate to answer. But you should. You know you should. "That I like this, more than...that." you poke her breast and you have no idea what you're doing. You try to explain but the overwhelming feeling of joy gets your senses and you can hardly keep yourself on your knees. You should be afraid to say something like that but you cant. The stuff your ignorant date gave you is perfectly preventing you from feeling anything but lust.
"You should get some rest." she says and her every word feels like warm velvet on your skin. You nod but then you realize you have no way of coming home. There is no way in hell you will be in the same space as Donnie, and you can barely remember where's your house. Its too far away, you know that. "And I bet you have no idea where to go, right ?" she asks and you nod again. She's a mind reader, she must be. She smiles again and you try your best to not look like an utter idiot. You fail miserably though, you can already feel that. "So, how about this. I'll take you with me and you'll sleep through that shit he gave you and in the morning I'll get you home. How about that ?" you want to argue but whats the point. You nod the last time before fainting in her arms.
You wake up with an unusual headache, you are a bit cold and the bed is somehow more comfortable than your own. You try to think of where you are but no memories are coming back. None important anyway. You remember your idiot date slipping something into your wine but this is not his place. Its far too tidied, clean and pretty. Then it hits you.
You're with Beth Childs.
A/N - Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoyed at least a little.