Somewhere in Time
To me, she is the most perfect human being walking this planet. I know that probably all male fans of her band agree with me. Heck, probably half the female fans as well. The other half are most likely the envious ones that deny her beauty because they can't match it. Though it's not only her beauty that I see. She has the ability to make me smile, to inspire me and other people around her.
Funny enough, the one person of whom I know for sure that he agrees with me is my band mate and close friend, Oliver. They have been dating for a while now. The moment I became aware of their relationship was one of mixed feelings. Of course there was jealousy, there was anger and there was pain. But at the same time, I was happy for them. You simply couldn't watch the two of them together and not be happy for them.
You cannot hide yourself, she sings. I basically haven't been doing anything else than hiding myself, my feelings. I'm not the kind of guy to interfere, to meddle in their relationship. I really want them to be happy, and to make it together.
But every evening, or at least the ones when we perform, she's mine for about four and a half minutes. She joins me on stage to sing a duet together. There is this one line in the song we sing, I always pull it out of context. Don't pretend that I've been loving you. It hits me then, that I'm actually not pretending, not acting, not hiding. For those four and a half minutes, it all feels real to me. It is real to me.
I've been told by people that have seen us together on stage that they believe us, that there is a spark, a connection. They have no idea how much it hurts inside when they tell me that.
When the four and a half minute have passed, I look at her. I notice how she smiles to Oliver. But then her eyes drift towards me and when she looks me right in the eyes, she gives me a smile as well. We walk towards each other and I embrace her. She laughs softly and hugs me back. Then I feel her lips brush against my cheek softly. She looks at me with her beautiful eyes one more time, before she turns and walks off the stage while waving goodbye to the audience.
She has no idea how happy she made me today. Because today, she was mine for four minutes and about forty-five seconds.