Something, by someone!
Quatre clambered slowly up the snowy slope once more with only an intention of sliding back down¼and staying down. He never knew having fun would be so unpleasant. The merciless needles of cold repeatedly pricked the desert boy's face, and his down coat was drastically losing its purpose. Waiting for him at the top of the hill was Duo and Trowa, their sleds in hand, seemingly impatient. They both were obviously unaffected by the thing that secretly tormented him. In fact, they seemed to be enjoying themselves; even Trowa's emotionless mask could not hide the enlightening appearance of his eyes. "Come on, Quat!" cried Duo, his chestnut braid dancing in the wind. "We do have the rest of our lives, you know!" Quatre sighed and not for the sake of Duo but for his self, tightened the grip on his sled and sped up his pace. When he reached the summit he was breathing forcibly through his mouth and all feeling in his feet were lost. Traveling alone in the desert was one thing, but the white plague that surrounded him was taking him beyond his limits. "Hey, you made it!" said Duo patting him on the shoulder. "You guys ready?" "Wait," came the calm voice Quatre longed to hear. He glanced sideways at Trowa who approached him. Even in the heavy snow, his movement was as graceful as when he walked the tightrope. Trowa's eyes lingered on him and the thought of what the quiet boy could be thinking made Quatre slightly uneasy. Suddenly, a slender hand gripped his chin easing him forward and lips were just inches apart. Quatre's eyes widened and his heart raced. Immediately an amount of warmth returned to him as blood circulated and he could feel himself blushing. He looked away from the deep emeralds that pierced his mind and as he did so noticed worry in them. Confusion overtook him as he turned to Duo who was wearing the same nonplused expression. "Uh, Tro? What's up?" asked Duo, scratching his head. The tall, brown-haired boy deviated from Quatre. The warmth disappeared and the depressing cold pulled him away from his supposedly oncoming euphoria. "We're done," Trowa said firmly. "Wha¼why?" Duo asked sounding shocked and disappointed. He looked at Quatre more closely to apparently see what Trowa could and the two of them could not. The violet-eyed boy sighed disdainfully. "I guess you're right, Tro. This'll be our last time¼geez, Quat! Why didn't you say anything?" Confusion turned to anger. Why was he being observed like some animal at a zoo? The answer came from Duo: "Your face is freaking blue!" Before Quatre could respond verbally or physically, Trowa was in front of him with a scarf. "Lemme put this on," he said. His face was stern, but his voice was gentle, so much that Quatre didn't resist and just nodded obediently. Trowa stood behind Quatre and wrapped the scarf around his mouth and nose. Quatre closed his eyes and could feel himself blushing again. Why was he blushing so much? The boy was only doing what he would have done for anyone. Trowa: the sad clown who did for others and cared nothing for himself¼the one who spent half his life as a nameless nobody¼the one who wished for his death. His death! And he sat here pitifully accepting his charity. Quatre whipped around, suddenly angry with the boy who attempted to help him. He knew Trowa too well and did not want to see him suffer even over something as trivial as this. "Don' worry about me. I'll be fine," said Trowa, as if to read his mind. Trowa knew him equally as well. He was only helping a friend. "Okay! Well if you guys are ready, let's go!" said Duo, laying his sled on the snow. They followed suit and went down into the sunset, forgetting about their past.
*** The long trek from the hill to their cabin left Quatre pretty much exhausted and falling face-first into the snow before he could even reach the door did not help his mood. "Oh my god...Quatre, are you okay?" Duo asked pulling Quatre to his feet. He nodded feebly. Quatre turned his head to Trowa who was returning the sleds to the shed on the side of the cabin. He was lonely again. Quatre let out a sigh of remorse. Things just seemed to keep going downhill. A jingling brought him to his senses. Duo reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. "Man, we gotta get you inside," he said. "You might die of pneumonia or somethin'." He unlocked the door of the cabin and the three of them walked inside. "What the¼?" Duo exclaimed. The cabin was dark and just as cold as outside, obviously uninhabited. "Where are Heero and Wufei?" "Hn, they're not here," said Trowa. He walked forward to the table in the middle of the room and picked up something. "Look at this." He held up a neatly typed document. "'I went to see the bullfrog. Five was annoyed by the weather and left. From Ook.'" Trowa looked up. "'Ook'?" Duo suddenly snatched the letter from Trowa. "Hey! That's from Heero!" "And you must be 'Sem,' right? That's who it's to¼" "Uh, yeah," Duo said, putting the letter in his pocket. "But why the hell did he go to see Relena? She's not even here!" "The heat's not working," announced Trowa, who had walked to the wall and flipped the thermostat switch. "Aw man, that's not good," said Duo. Quatre, still wearing Trowa's scarf, sneezed. He knew his condition wasn't getting any better as he could feel the beginnings of a headache. "Duo, get my cold medicine out of my suitcase and give it to Quatre. I saw some wood in that shed¼I'll go get some," said Trowa walking through the door. "Wait," called Duo, but he was already gone. He turned to Quatre and sighed. "Looks like you 'n' me have the same problem." Quatre coughed and looked up, confused. The two of them headed into his and Trowa's room. He immediately began stripping off his wet clothes. "No bathroom this time?" Duo asked. Quatre stopped briefly then continued looking through his suitcase for the warmest, driest clothes he could find. "Last night," Duo went on, "you went in the bathroom to change your clothes." He paused. "Well, you are freezing¼or maybe it's because Trowa was in here." Quatre suddenly became aware of his frantic shivering. What was Duo talking about? The purple-eyed boy smirked and tossed the cold medicine on the bed next to Quatre. "For one who blew up a whole, goddamned colony you're pretty submissive." Quatre stood up and was struggling with pulling his third shirt over his head. Duo helped him put it on and finally Quatre was able to sit on the bed. He picked up the cold medicine and thought about Trowa who was still outside. He looked out the window, but all he saw was an endless span of white that hid the mysterious beauty beneath it. Much like Trowa¼ Duo grinned. "Like I said, you 'n' me have the problem," he said, taking off his coat and tossing it through the door into the next room. "Both Trowa and Heero are so reserved. Butcha know¼it's obvious Trowa has something for you. I mean, do you really think he would put so much effort into someone just because they're a little cold? He's trying to stop being a soldier¼and to just be human. I wish Heero would do the same thing. I mean, look at this!" He pulled out Heero's note from his pocket. "It's typed, so he must have brought his laptop¼and he used code names? We're in the middle of nowhere for a vacation! They both need to lighten up, but I guess Tro's doing a better job than Heero." He sighed and began taking down his braid. Quatre noticed an amount of anger growing in his voice. "Relena! Why the hell does he want to see her? What a jackass! He can't even smile¼the only time he showed even a little emotion was when we were in be- Quat, where're ya goin'?" Quatre heard knocking on the front door. He had gotten up and left the room. He peered through the window and saw a large, shadowy figure surrounded by dusk. Was it Trowa? "Who is it?" Duo asked as he sauntered next to Quatre. He shrugged. Suddenly, the door unlocked itself and opened. The two of them jumped. "Heero!" Duo yelled, his tone contrasting his previous one completely. He embraced the Japanese boy wildly, unbraided hair flying about, and pulled him inside. "Where were you? What were you doing?" As well-abled as Heero was, he had no time to counter Duo's love attack and Duo planted a swift kiss on his cheek. Quatre turned from the awkward scene to close the door, which still had keys in the lock. Before he could, Trowa appeared in the doorway carrying a bundle of sticks and a log. Their eyes met and Quatre was lost for words. He could see nothing. "Hi," Trowa said. Quatre could only smile and step aside as Trowa made his way pass him. Quatre was scared to say anything now as he felt he would throw up if he did. "Oh, hey, Trowa!" Quatre heard Duo say. "You got the wood, now we can get that fire started." Quatre stared into the night and that seemingly ever-vivacious snow that had once chased him away, but that now seemed inviting. "Quatre, what're ya doin'?" He turned, startled, to Duo who had his arm slung around Heero's shoulder. "Close the door and get on over here!" He put up the keys and shut the door. He walked to the fireplace, where the other three were, and sat on the couch along the wall. Soon after, a fit of sneezing and coughing ensued. "Are you going to be okay, Quatre?" Heero asked, discarding his coat once free from Duo's grasp. "Aw, he'll be fine," said Duo. "I told him to take that medicine," said Trowa, placing the log and sticks in the fireplace. He stood up and faced Quatre, staring him straight in the eyes. Quatre coughed and shook his head. He felt a twinge of guilt erupt in his stomach. Now he was a bad guy. Why did Trowa seem so angry? "Hn," went Trowa and he returned to setting the fire. Duo put a puzzled look on his face. "Tro?" Apparently, he sensed it, too. "Where's the lighter," Trowa asked, evasively. Quatre glared through watery eyes. His heart was sinking, painfully. That nauseating guilt in his stomach stronger. "It's in that drawer," Heero said, pointing to the counter on the other side of the room. "But you know, the heat works now. That's why I went to see Relena. She works at this place. She said 'sorry for the inconvenience.'" "Oh! So that's where you were...although I'm sure that it was more than just an inconvenience," Duo said frowning. He was very much the jealous- type. "Yeah," Heero said flatly. "What did you think I was doing?" He didn't give Duo a chance to answer. "You're still going to light that fire?" "Sure, why not?" Trowa said after finding the lighter. "Yeah," said Duo, inching closer to Heero. "I think fire kinda sets a mood, dontcha think so, Quat?" He was caught off-guard; sidetracked by his own troubled thoughts. A mood. Trowa seemed to be in a bad one and because of him, too. Quatre understood what Duo meant now. Trowa's search for humanity was giving up that nonchalant attitude, slowly letting out numerous years of bottled-up emotions (most, if not all, of it anger and sadness), looking towards the future, and accepting the past. As far as Quatre could see, Trowa's so- called 'childhood' was the hardest of all five of them. It was in his eyes, his voice, his movement. It was there all that time, now he had to do something about it. He was going to put a smile on that clown's face. He shrugged off Duo's question, got up and went into his room, leaving the group in confused silence. He was really grateful for Trowa; his throat was very dry and sore from his constant coughing. He looked at the cough medicine that lay unopened on his bed. He picked it up, grinning a little, then went back into the lounging area with the rest of them. They all watched as he reentered except for Trowa, who seemed to have taken a sudden interest in the carpet. Quatre became a little discouraged. He grunted in frustration as he fumbled with the childproof cap. Its clicking sound made Trowa look up. His hands shook and he struggled through never-ending coughing and sniffing, then Heero took it from him and opened it, seemingly annoyed. "Here you go," he said, handing it back to him. Quatre cleared his throat and smiled sadly in silent gratitude. He hesitated and wished this could all be over with. He hated medicine and he usually drank tea to cure any of his ailments. (A/N: forgive me.. XD) Things seemed to be getting gloomy; he just wanted some sleep. He raised the bottle, pressed the tip to his lips and swallowed. The taste was nothing like he thought it would have been. It was warm and sweet and it tickled his throat as the liquid slid down into his stomach. Quatre could have sworn he felt ten times better until Trowa said: "You should probably head to bed...you'll be getting sleepy soon anyway." Trowa stood up abandoning the fire he was working on, which seemed to be doing fine by itself. Quatre huffed and pursed his lips. "Well, it is pretty late, I think we all better turn in," Duo said, stretching. Quatre glanced at the clock and noticed that it was barely 10 o' clock. He looked at Duo and at that moment, he could have sworn that Duo winked at him. Quatre had felt a sudden bout of drowsiness. He walked half-lidded into his room, followed by Trowa. He stared guiltily at the room. There was one full-sized bed, which Quatre had to himself and a sleeping bag on the floor for Trowa. He hadn't thought about it before, but now it didn't seem too right. There was something he wanted to ask Trowa, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do it. He could feel Trowa's presence behind him and all he wanted to do was turn around and... "Quatre?" came Trowa's voice, just as Quatre was about to open his mouth. He whirled around and stared questioningly into sullen, green eyes. He couldn't understand why Trowa was being so distant; if what Duo said was true.... His heart was pounding and he felt sick again. Why couldn't he do it? This perfect moment was practically served to him and he was wasting it. Trowa stopped in mid-breath. His cheeks were slightly pink. He looked so child-like, yet so sad. "Quatre, I wanted to tell you..." Quatre smiled and his heart jumped. Perhaps he wouldn't have to say anything. Everything felt so right now. He extended his arms slowly, wanting to touch his comfort. That was when he began to speak again. "Since Wufei's gone, I think that you should sleep in his room." The words hit Quatre like a sack of bricks. And Trowa continued... "The bed's bigger and it's not so cold in there." Quatre stared wide-eyed at the boy in front of him. Tears welled up in his eyes; tears that washed away whatever hope he had left. He quickly turned his head, so Trowa couldn't see. He wanted to be strong, yet he felt so weak. There was a hole in his heart or was it his stomach?
Quatre quickly clasped his hands around his mouth and ran into the bathroom. He slammed the door behind him and collapsed to his knees in front of the toilet bowl. His whole body felt numb and a foul taste entered his mouth. He stared into the water and a few seconds later, with tears streaming down his face, he threw up. He looked up to see Trowa looking at him seemingly horrified, and he suddenly fell into darkness.
Quatre felt light hit him as he somehow floated onto something hard and smooth. He felt clothesless and a gentle rub moving across his skin. A sweet smell floated around him. He recognized the rubbing as someone's hands. They felt his forehead and caressed his cheek. Then arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders. Quatre felt a peace...was he dead? Or was it a dream? He didn't know, but he wished it could stay like this forever.
He felt drops of something hit his chest; he heard sniffing and a muffled mumbling that sounded like 'I love you.' The voice was so sad; he wanted to comfort the person. He needed to say something...he had an odd urge to say 'I love you' back, but his mouth wouldn't move. He blindly reached out his hand and barely brushed hair before he dissolved back into nothing.
Quatre's eyes shot open. It was dark and he was lying in a bed. He sat up and looked around. This was Wufei's room. The clock on the bed stand next to him said it was a little after one in the morning. He shivered. The room was gloom and depressingly cold.
He looked down and noticed that he was wearing his pajamas. He couldn't remember doing anything that led up to his current position. He sighed. The last thing he remembered was...Trowa's face. He thought about the dream he had. All those things he felt...could it have been real? Who was that person...Trowa?
He got out of bed and stretched. He didn't want to be here. Why had Trowa told him to sleep in here? He wanted to be with him...he liked him. This thing couldn't go on. This was his last chance.
After so many failed half-attempts, Quatre had renewed determination. He left the room slightly nervous. He came up to Trowa's door and hesitated for several moments. What if he didn't feel the same way? His heart rammed against his ribs. He couldn't stop breathing. Gaining control of himself, he bit his lip, held his breath and slowly opened the door.
The room was so cold, Quatre was immediately covered in goosebumps and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. The floor creaked and he stopped. Moonlight showed through the window onto his bed, but Trowa wasn't there. Quatre became frantic. Where could he have gone? He listened for any movement, but the place was deadly silent. Heero and Duo weren't even making their noises.
Quatre's heart sunk. Could he have left? Quatre was really scared; he was shaking and tears formed in his eyes again. That was when a familiar sound caught his ears...sniffing and muffled speech.
"Quatre...why..."
He looked down on the floor. There was a big mound of something there. It was Trowa! And he was still in his sleeping bag. Shock, happiness, and relief entered him at the same time. He smiled and tears flooded down his cheeks. "Trowa!" he yelled in spite of everything, and collapsed to his knees.
He crawled next to Trowa and looked at his face. Tears sparkled in the moonlight. Quatre slowly reached out his hand and wiped them away. Trowa looked so scared. Fresh tears replaced the old ones and he opened his mouth to speak.
"Quatre, I..." he whispered shakily, but Quatre stopped him.
He wiped his eyes once more. He felt this tingly feeling running throughout his body. Everything would be alright.... He moved in closer to Trowa and wrapped his arms around him. Anything for him.... He nuzzled his head in the cradle of Trowa's neck. "I'm sorry, Trowa...thank you," he whispered softly. He felt lighter.
One of Trowa's hands ran through Quatre's hair, while the other slowly crept itself around his shoulder. The touch sent a wave of pleasure through Quatre. It felt dream-like, and that's when he realized. "I love you, too, Trowa." He could hear Trowa smile.... They lied like that for the rest of the night, each crying for the other, silently promising to never hurt the other one again.
And the bed remained empty.
~*oWaRi*~
Quatre clambered slowly up the snowy slope once more with only an intention of sliding back down¼and staying down. He never knew having fun would be so unpleasant. The merciless needles of cold repeatedly pricked the desert boy's face, and his down coat was drastically losing its purpose. Waiting for him at the top of the hill was Duo and Trowa, their sleds in hand, seemingly impatient. They both were obviously unaffected by the thing that secretly tormented him. In fact, they seemed to be enjoying themselves; even Trowa's emotionless mask could not hide the enlightening appearance of his eyes. "Come on, Quat!" cried Duo, his chestnut braid dancing in the wind. "We do have the rest of our lives, you know!" Quatre sighed and not for the sake of Duo but for his self, tightened the grip on his sled and sped up his pace. When he reached the summit he was breathing forcibly through his mouth and all feeling in his feet were lost. Traveling alone in the desert was one thing, but the white plague that surrounded him was taking him beyond his limits. "Hey, you made it!" said Duo patting him on the shoulder. "You guys ready?" "Wait," came the calm voice Quatre longed to hear. He glanced sideways at Trowa who approached him. Even in the heavy snow, his movement was as graceful as when he walked the tightrope. Trowa's eyes lingered on him and the thought of what the quiet boy could be thinking made Quatre slightly uneasy. Suddenly, a slender hand gripped his chin easing him forward and lips were just inches apart. Quatre's eyes widened and his heart raced. Immediately an amount of warmth returned to him as blood circulated and he could feel himself blushing. He looked away from the deep emeralds that pierced his mind and as he did so noticed worry in them. Confusion overtook him as he turned to Duo who was wearing the same nonplused expression. "Uh, Tro? What's up?" asked Duo, scratching his head. The tall, brown-haired boy deviated from Quatre. The warmth disappeared and the depressing cold pulled him away from his supposedly oncoming euphoria. "We're done," Trowa said firmly. "Wha¼why?" Duo asked sounding shocked and disappointed. He looked at Quatre more closely to apparently see what Trowa could and the two of them could not. The violet-eyed boy sighed disdainfully. "I guess you're right, Tro. This'll be our last time¼geez, Quat! Why didn't you say anything?" Confusion turned to anger. Why was he being observed like some animal at a zoo? The answer came from Duo: "Your face is freaking blue!" Before Quatre could respond verbally or physically, Trowa was in front of him with a scarf. "Lemme put this on," he said. His face was stern, but his voice was gentle, so much that Quatre didn't resist and just nodded obediently. Trowa stood behind Quatre and wrapped the scarf around his mouth and nose. Quatre closed his eyes and could feel himself blushing again. Why was he blushing so much? The boy was only doing what he would have done for anyone. Trowa: the sad clown who did for others and cared nothing for himself¼the one who spent half his life as a nameless nobody¼the one who wished for his death. His death! And he sat here pitifully accepting his charity. Quatre whipped around, suddenly angry with the boy who attempted to help him. He knew Trowa too well and did not want to see him suffer even over something as trivial as this. "Don' worry about me. I'll be fine," said Trowa, as if to read his mind. Trowa knew him equally as well. He was only helping a friend. "Okay! Well if you guys are ready, let's go!" said Duo, laying his sled on the snow. They followed suit and went down into the sunset, forgetting about their past.
*** The long trek from the hill to their cabin left Quatre pretty much exhausted and falling face-first into the snow before he could even reach the door did not help his mood. "Oh my god...Quatre, are you okay?" Duo asked pulling Quatre to his feet. He nodded feebly. Quatre turned his head to Trowa who was returning the sleds to the shed on the side of the cabin. He was lonely again. Quatre let out a sigh of remorse. Things just seemed to keep going downhill. A jingling brought him to his senses. Duo reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. "Man, we gotta get you inside," he said. "You might die of pneumonia or somethin'." He unlocked the door of the cabin and the three of them walked inside. "What the¼?" Duo exclaimed. The cabin was dark and just as cold as outside, obviously uninhabited. "Where are Heero and Wufei?" "Hn, they're not here," said Trowa. He walked forward to the table in the middle of the room and picked up something. "Look at this." He held up a neatly typed document. "'I went to see the bullfrog. Five was annoyed by the weather and left. From Ook.'" Trowa looked up. "'Ook'?" Duo suddenly snatched the letter from Trowa. "Hey! That's from Heero!" "And you must be 'Sem,' right? That's who it's to¼" "Uh, yeah," Duo said, putting the letter in his pocket. "But why the hell did he go to see Relena? She's not even here!" "The heat's not working," announced Trowa, who had walked to the wall and flipped the thermostat switch. "Aw man, that's not good," said Duo. Quatre, still wearing Trowa's scarf, sneezed. He knew his condition wasn't getting any better as he could feel the beginnings of a headache. "Duo, get my cold medicine out of my suitcase and give it to Quatre. I saw some wood in that shed¼I'll go get some," said Trowa walking through the door. "Wait," called Duo, but he was already gone. He turned to Quatre and sighed. "Looks like you 'n' me have the same problem." Quatre coughed and looked up, confused. The two of them headed into his and Trowa's room. He immediately began stripping off his wet clothes. "No bathroom this time?" Duo asked. Quatre stopped briefly then continued looking through his suitcase for the warmest, driest clothes he could find. "Last night," Duo went on, "you went in the bathroom to change your clothes." He paused. "Well, you are freezing¼or maybe it's because Trowa was in here." Quatre suddenly became aware of his frantic shivering. What was Duo talking about? The purple-eyed boy smirked and tossed the cold medicine on the bed next to Quatre. "For one who blew up a whole, goddamned colony you're pretty submissive." Quatre stood up and was struggling with pulling his third shirt over his head. Duo helped him put it on and finally Quatre was able to sit on the bed. He picked up the cold medicine and thought about Trowa who was still outside. He looked out the window, but all he saw was an endless span of white that hid the mysterious beauty beneath it. Much like Trowa¼ Duo grinned. "Like I said, you 'n' me have the problem," he said, taking off his coat and tossing it through the door into the next room. "Both Trowa and Heero are so reserved. Butcha know¼it's obvious Trowa has something for you. I mean, do you really think he would put so much effort into someone just because they're a little cold? He's trying to stop being a soldier¼and to just be human. I wish Heero would do the same thing. I mean, look at this!" He pulled out Heero's note from his pocket. "It's typed, so he must have brought his laptop¼and he used code names? We're in the middle of nowhere for a vacation! They both need to lighten up, but I guess Tro's doing a better job than Heero." He sighed and began taking down his braid. Quatre noticed an amount of anger growing in his voice. "Relena! Why the hell does he want to see her? What a jackass! He can't even smile¼the only time he showed even a little emotion was when we were in be- Quat, where're ya goin'?" Quatre heard knocking on the front door. He had gotten up and left the room. He peered through the window and saw a large, shadowy figure surrounded by dusk. Was it Trowa? "Who is it?" Duo asked as he sauntered next to Quatre. He shrugged. Suddenly, the door unlocked itself and opened. The two of them jumped. "Heero!" Duo yelled, his tone contrasting his previous one completely. He embraced the Japanese boy wildly, unbraided hair flying about, and pulled him inside. "Where were you? What were you doing?" As well-abled as Heero was, he had no time to counter Duo's love attack and Duo planted a swift kiss on his cheek. Quatre turned from the awkward scene to close the door, which still had keys in the lock. Before he could, Trowa appeared in the doorway carrying a bundle of sticks and a log. Their eyes met and Quatre was lost for words. He could see nothing. "Hi," Trowa said. Quatre could only smile and step aside as Trowa made his way pass him. Quatre was scared to say anything now as he felt he would throw up if he did. "Oh, hey, Trowa!" Quatre heard Duo say. "You got the wood, now we can get that fire started." Quatre stared into the night and that seemingly ever-vivacious snow that had once chased him away, but that now seemed inviting. "Quatre, what're ya doin'?" He turned, startled, to Duo who had his arm slung around Heero's shoulder. "Close the door and get on over here!" He put up the keys and shut the door. He walked to the fireplace, where the other three were, and sat on the couch along the wall. Soon after, a fit of sneezing and coughing ensued. "Are you going to be okay, Quatre?" Heero asked, discarding his coat once free from Duo's grasp. "Aw, he'll be fine," said Duo. "I told him to take that medicine," said Trowa, placing the log and sticks in the fireplace. He stood up and faced Quatre, staring him straight in the eyes. Quatre coughed and shook his head. He felt a twinge of guilt erupt in his stomach. Now he was a bad guy. Why did Trowa seem so angry? "Hn," went Trowa and he returned to setting the fire. Duo put a puzzled look on his face. "Tro?" Apparently, he sensed it, too. "Where's the lighter," Trowa asked, evasively. Quatre glared through watery eyes. His heart was sinking, painfully. That nauseating guilt in his stomach stronger. "It's in that drawer," Heero said, pointing to the counter on the other side of the room. "But you know, the heat works now. That's why I went to see Relena. She works at this place. She said 'sorry for the inconvenience.'" "Oh! So that's where you were...although I'm sure that it was more than just an inconvenience," Duo said frowning. He was very much the jealous- type. "Yeah," Heero said flatly. "What did you think I was doing?" He didn't give Duo a chance to answer. "You're still going to light that fire?" "Sure, why not?" Trowa said after finding the lighter. "Yeah," said Duo, inching closer to Heero. "I think fire kinda sets a mood, dontcha think so, Quat?" He was caught off-guard; sidetracked by his own troubled thoughts. A mood. Trowa seemed to be in a bad one and because of him, too. Quatre understood what Duo meant now. Trowa's search for humanity was giving up that nonchalant attitude, slowly letting out numerous years of bottled-up emotions (most, if not all, of it anger and sadness), looking towards the future, and accepting the past. As far as Quatre could see, Trowa's so- called 'childhood' was the hardest of all five of them. It was in his eyes, his voice, his movement. It was there all that time, now he had to do something about it. He was going to put a smile on that clown's face. He shrugged off Duo's question, got up and went into his room, leaving the group in confused silence. He was really grateful for Trowa; his throat was very dry and sore from his constant coughing. He looked at the cough medicine that lay unopened on his bed. He picked it up, grinning a little, then went back into the lounging area with the rest of them. They all watched as he reentered except for Trowa, who seemed to have taken a sudden interest in the carpet. Quatre became a little discouraged. He grunted in frustration as he fumbled with the childproof cap. Its clicking sound made Trowa look up. His hands shook and he struggled through never-ending coughing and sniffing, then Heero took it from him and opened it, seemingly annoyed. "Here you go," he said, handing it back to him. Quatre cleared his throat and smiled sadly in silent gratitude. He hesitated and wished this could all be over with. He hated medicine and he usually drank tea to cure any of his ailments. (A/N: forgive me.. XD) Things seemed to be getting gloomy; he just wanted some sleep. He raised the bottle, pressed the tip to his lips and swallowed. The taste was nothing like he thought it would have been. It was warm and sweet and it tickled his throat as the liquid slid down into his stomach. Quatre could have sworn he felt ten times better until Trowa said: "You should probably head to bed...you'll be getting sleepy soon anyway." Trowa stood up abandoning the fire he was working on, which seemed to be doing fine by itself. Quatre huffed and pursed his lips. "Well, it is pretty late, I think we all better turn in," Duo said, stretching. Quatre glanced at the clock and noticed that it was barely 10 o' clock. He looked at Duo and at that moment, he could have sworn that Duo winked at him. Quatre had felt a sudden bout of drowsiness. He walked half-lidded into his room, followed by Trowa. He stared guiltily at the room. There was one full-sized bed, which Quatre had to himself and a sleeping bag on the floor for Trowa. He hadn't thought about it before, but now it didn't seem too right. There was something he wanted to ask Trowa, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do it. He could feel Trowa's presence behind him and all he wanted to do was turn around and... "Quatre?" came Trowa's voice, just as Quatre was about to open his mouth. He whirled around and stared questioningly into sullen, green eyes. He couldn't understand why Trowa was being so distant; if what Duo said was true.... His heart was pounding and he felt sick again. Why couldn't he do it? This perfect moment was practically served to him and he was wasting it. Trowa stopped in mid-breath. His cheeks were slightly pink. He looked so child-like, yet so sad. "Quatre, I wanted to tell you..." Quatre smiled and his heart jumped. Perhaps he wouldn't have to say anything. Everything felt so right now. He extended his arms slowly, wanting to touch his comfort. That was when he began to speak again. "Since Wufei's gone, I think that you should sleep in his room." The words hit Quatre like a sack of bricks. And Trowa continued... "The bed's bigger and it's not so cold in there." Quatre stared wide-eyed at the boy in front of him. Tears welled up in his eyes; tears that washed away whatever hope he had left. He quickly turned his head, so Trowa couldn't see. He wanted to be strong, yet he felt so weak. There was a hole in his heart or was it his stomach?
Quatre quickly clasped his hands around his mouth and ran into the bathroom. He slammed the door behind him and collapsed to his knees in front of the toilet bowl. His whole body felt numb and a foul taste entered his mouth. He stared into the water and a few seconds later, with tears streaming down his face, he threw up. He looked up to see Trowa looking at him seemingly horrified, and he suddenly fell into darkness.
Quatre felt light hit him as he somehow floated onto something hard and smooth. He felt clothesless and a gentle rub moving across his skin. A sweet smell floated around him. He recognized the rubbing as someone's hands. They felt his forehead and caressed his cheek. Then arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders. Quatre felt a peace...was he dead? Or was it a dream? He didn't know, but he wished it could stay like this forever.
He felt drops of something hit his chest; he heard sniffing and a muffled mumbling that sounded like 'I love you.' The voice was so sad; he wanted to comfort the person. He needed to say something...he had an odd urge to say 'I love you' back, but his mouth wouldn't move. He blindly reached out his hand and barely brushed hair before he dissolved back into nothing.
Quatre's eyes shot open. It was dark and he was lying in a bed. He sat up and looked around. This was Wufei's room. The clock on the bed stand next to him said it was a little after one in the morning. He shivered. The room was gloom and depressingly cold.
He looked down and noticed that he was wearing his pajamas. He couldn't remember doing anything that led up to his current position. He sighed. The last thing he remembered was...Trowa's face. He thought about the dream he had. All those things he felt...could it have been real? Who was that person...Trowa?
He got out of bed and stretched. He didn't want to be here. Why had Trowa told him to sleep in here? He wanted to be with him...he liked him. This thing couldn't go on. This was his last chance.
After so many failed half-attempts, Quatre had renewed determination. He left the room slightly nervous. He came up to Trowa's door and hesitated for several moments. What if he didn't feel the same way? His heart rammed against his ribs. He couldn't stop breathing. Gaining control of himself, he bit his lip, held his breath and slowly opened the door.
The room was so cold, Quatre was immediately covered in goosebumps and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. The floor creaked and he stopped. Moonlight showed through the window onto his bed, but Trowa wasn't there. Quatre became frantic. Where could he have gone? He listened for any movement, but the place was deadly silent. Heero and Duo weren't even making their noises.
Quatre's heart sunk. Could he have left? Quatre was really scared; he was shaking and tears formed in his eyes again. That was when a familiar sound caught his ears...sniffing and muffled speech.
"Quatre...why..."
He looked down on the floor. There was a big mound of something there. It was Trowa! And he was still in his sleeping bag. Shock, happiness, and relief entered him at the same time. He smiled and tears flooded down his cheeks. "Trowa!" he yelled in spite of everything, and collapsed to his knees.
He crawled next to Trowa and looked at his face. Tears sparkled in the moonlight. Quatre slowly reached out his hand and wiped them away. Trowa looked so scared. Fresh tears replaced the old ones and he opened his mouth to speak.
"Quatre, I..." he whispered shakily, but Quatre stopped him.
He wiped his eyes once more. He felt this tingly feeling running throughout his body. Everything would be alright.... He moved in closer to Trowa and wrapped his arms around him. Anything for him.... He nuzzled his head in the cradle of Trowa's neck. "I'm sorry, Trowa...thank you," he whispered softly. He felt lighter.
One of Trowa's hands ran through Quatre's hair, while the other slowly crept itself around his shoulder. The touch sent a wave of pleasure through Quatre. It felt dream-like, and that's when he realized. "I love you, too, Trowa." He could hear Trowa smile.... They lied like that for the rest of the night, each crying for the other, silently promising to never hurt the other one again.
And the bed remained empty.
~*oWaRi*~