A/N: These twelve chapters will be very long. This is my annual twelve days of Christmas story. I'll post one chapter per day. Hopefully I'll get some reviews for my trouble. It is the time of goodwill toward man (woman) after all.

Chapter One

Malevolent Angel

Gabriella

Oh my poor, poor Erik. For so long I have watched him suffer and could do little to ease his pain. I dared not let him know of me fearing what he might do. I could not bear it if he forced me to leave. Somehow I feel it is only Erik who can make me leave this opera house. I am tied to it just as he is perhaps more so.

In the opera house no one takes notice of me. I am insignificant. I leave them alone and they leave me to myself and my vigil over Erik. My only responsibilities as I see them is to aid everyone in any way I can such as finding lost ballet slippers, mending a rip in a costume the seamstress missed just before her tired eyes closed for the night. I don't have an official title but I like to refer to myself as a fixer. I fix things that are broken whether it be material things or human beings. I try to steer the staff and performers on the right path without being overly pushy. A nudge is better than an outright shove. I have even nudged my dear Erik a time or two. Not in any way he would know I interfered but in subtle ways. He is such a stubborn man who refuses to see any good in himself at all. It isn't his fault really as almost everyone he has met has treated him poorly.

I cannot help but feel all this recent mess can be laid directly at my door. I should have told someone what I knew. If I whispered in the ear of the right people all of this could have been avoided and my dear Erik would not have had to suffer such a public humiliation. I could do nothing about his growing love for Christine. Look what she did to poor Raoul de Chagny after only hearing her voice once after nearly twelve years. Her power stems from an innocent pure heart which I hate to admit but in my moments of fairness I can be honest about her. In my less charitable moments she is a seducer of men leading them into a pit of despair.

I like to see her as a bewitching harlot using both men for her own purposes. Nothing can be further from the truth. Oh maybe she did use Erik later as she grew into young adulthood but not in any deliberate or evil intentioned way. At some point she had to question some voice coming from behind mirrors and walls declaring they are the Angel of Music. I suppose it was easier to just leave things as they were and go with what worked. Why question something that seemed to give everyone what they wanted? Only later, after Erik revealed himself to be a man to her did it occur to Christine that Erik wanted more than she had been willing to give.

Oh she did love him and I suppose she still does. Erik can be quite persuasive when he takes the notion to sway rather than force someone to his will. I cannot find it in me to hate her so I try not to think of her at all. For nearly a month, at least I think it has been a month; I have traversed one tunnel after another killing time until I felt certain Erik would be less inclined to reject me. Once he gets to know me I am sure I can make him see how perfect we are for one another.

I am not the beauty Christine is but can hold my own. Having red hair I am also cursed with a dusting of freckles across my nose. Cute on a child of five or six but darned annoying when a person is trying to look like an adult instead of a young girl of five or six. I am twenty-four, I think. No, I am sure I am twenty-four. When is my birthday? Hmmm, well I cannot remember at present but that is something for a later date. The green eyes one might expect to see on an Irish red-haired maiden are sadly lacking in me. I am blessed with blue eyes that are so ordinary I wonder if God despaired giving me anything as alluring as green eyes to match my fiery red hair. Did he think I might become a siren and tempt men to an ill fated end? Erik is the only man I can see myself tempting to do anything. For that man I'd do the dance of the seven veils, in private of course.

Helplessly I had to stand by and watch as Erik wooed Christine. Poor wretched girl torn between her two loves while I am here willing to love Erik with my whole being. She never deserved anything he offered her. Silently I point the finger of shame at myself for thinking such an uncharitable thought. I must keep reminding myself it was not Christine's fault. Erik offered his all to her knowing he took a chance at being rejected and truly I think he expected to be all along. Everything got thrown back in his face in the end. For what she did to him she should be made to suffer at least one night of torment but some people are born under a bright star while others are cursed to live in a world of perpetual darkness. My Erik is one of those poor souls.

As for myself I am not sure where I fit in. I can't say I am particularly unhappy other than I am of little use to Erik at the moment. I am a little scatter brained at times, okay most of the time. Much of my past is a mystery. It is of little consequence so I never made any attempt to find any answers. I have my hands full with keeping Erik safe.

Sometimes I really would like to give Christine a slap just to wake her up. Her childlike outlook on life is what landed everyone in this mess. Chiding myself for thinking ill once again of Christine I walk aimlessly along my current chosen path.

I am procrastinating since I have made up my mind today is the day I find Erik. Not that he is lost to me. All I have to do is think of him and a picture comes into my head of where I may find him. It has always been this way. In the beginning I questioned this ability but time sort of muddied the waters on the issue and I do not wish to waste precious time wondering about my connection to him. I suppose I can use this ability to find anyone but only ever used it to locate my Erik.

As I have admitted before I try hard not to judge Christine too harshly but my sympathies are with Erik. Christine will go on and have her happy life with the wealthy aristocrat Raoul de Chagny while Erik will pine for his lost love and likely die from a broken heart. I won't have it. He must live. I don't know how I know it but there is something special Erik is meant to do and I mean to see he gets his chance for redemption.

In my very soul I know there is a kind and loving man buried beneath all the hate and anger that festers under the surface. Given half a chance he could have done so much and given the right opportunity he still can. I have made it my destiny to align my life with Erik's and guide him along the right path.

What can I do? All I can do is offer him what solace I can. I followed him when he left his lair that last time. I had to be certain he made it to safety before I left him to his own devices while I went back to helping any stragglers wandering in the smoky auditorium. The fumes had become toxic by that time.

This waiting for Erik to feel less hurt by his loss has seemed to be an eternity. It has taken all my courage but I managed to overcome my fears to let someone know of me. How can I help him if I am unwilling to let him know I am here, I have always been here? I don't recall when I first came to the opera house or under what circumstances I arrived. It seems as if I have always been here. In the end I deemed it better to let time heal him a little before I made my grand entrance.

I don't know if Erik occupied the opera house when I first came here or if I came and he came later. All I am certain of is that once I saw his shadowy form lurking about I had to follow him and learn as much about him as I could. At first I followed him out of bored curiosity. I don't sleep like normal people and neither does Erik. He doesn't eat properly which worries me. I myself can't remember eating but know I must do so. There are times when I believe I am fey or something. When I whisper in the ear of someone about to do something they will regret I know they hear me but they don't acknowledge me at all. I suppose I am beneath them. What would they want with a…whatever I am?

My one failure to win over someone walking the wrong path was Joseph Buquet. For some reason that man frightened me more than anyone I ever met. Just to hear his name caused a quaking in my belly that would nearly have me retching. I gave up on trying to influence him long ago. It shamed me when I hoped Erik would deal with him and even more so when Erik murdered him.

As far as I know my path and Joseph's never crossed so that we met face to face. I stayed as far away from him as possible. An emotion I can only describe as debilitating fear overtook me if he came too close to me. There were other men within the confines of the opera house taking advantage of the younger girls and even raping them but none could cause such sheer terror in me as that evil man could. Yes, I rejoiced silently when Erik choked the life out of that man even if it did blacken his soul. If Erik's soul bore a blemish, then mine is tar black as I knew what Erik had planned and let the plan unfold anyway. All I needed to do was hide that stupid rope. Erik could use his hands to strangle Joseph but that would have taken too much time. Erik would have had to abandon his plan to replace Piangi.

I don't bother to mark time. What use is time to me? I have no place to go and no way to get there if I did. It has been a long time since I even thought of life outside the opera house walls. In that respect I suppose Erik and I are similar although I know he has gone out before and did wallop Christine's carriage driver the day she wanted to visit her father's grave. If graveyards did not cause such unease in me I would have hidden in the back luggage compartment and done my best to persuade Erik to stop his insane pursuit of Christine. I would even have offered to help him win her like a normal man if he would have given me a chance. His will was too strong to be swayed by anything I had to say. My whispers in his ear as he slept went unheeded in this instance.

Erik came back from that trip in a foul mood. I left him to stew and curse for a few days. Now I wish I had not done so for I perhaps could have stopped the crazed plan he concocted to win Christine's favor. In the end all he succeeded in doing was humiliating himself and burning the opera house nearly to the ground.

Many times I have relived that night on the rooftop when Raoul and Christine sang of their love and pledged themselves to one another. It broke my heart to have to watch Erik's pain destroy what little sanity he had left. He could think only of having Christine at any cost. To watch as he picked up that forgotten rose he had given to her and watch it be trampled under the feet of the woman he desired above all others at first broke his heart then quickly that hurt changed to vengeful anger.

The night of Don Juan Triumphant's first and only performance I wanted to follow Erik down into the lower levels but chaos had broken out and people were in danger of being burned or trampled. Waylaying my usual shyness I took charge and led as many people out as I could. Those who chose to follow Erik were on their own. If they'd rather seek revenge instead of safety then let the consequences be on their heads. I did almost follow Meg so I could protect her but there were just too many people crushing against each other trying to find safe passage out of the black inferno building inside.

By the time I reached Erik's lair he was alone and suffering so much his pain became mine. As badly as I wanted to hold and comfort him I couldn't, not then. He would not have welcomed me. He still won't, not at first anyway. It will be up to me to convince him I mean him only good. I must wait for the timing to be right to let him know of me.

Sometimes I feel as if he knows I am there in the shadows watching his every move. I love to watch him especially when he is asleep. He looks so innocent when slumber overtakes him. When the urge to touch him overwhelms me I only graze my hand over him. His sigh sounds so much like one of pleasure I relive the experience over and over in my mind. I must make him see we are meant to be, I simply must. I think I shall fade away into nothingness if he rejects what I offer him. I don't think I'd want to exist if I knew I'd never have Erik for my own. My only reason for staying here is my love for him. I cannot desert him in his time of need.

Erik will be so angry that someone dares to approach him but I must stand strong. He needs me so much at the moment. The last few times I observed him he looked ill. This damp place isn't fit for…truthfully it is only fit for the vermin. Erik's drinking to excess is not conducive to clear reason either. Dulling his pain with drink has taken it's toll on his health. I have news that surely will lift his spirits.

I have heard conversations from people coming and going in the upper levels. Work to refurbish will commence shortly. The troubles in France are settling down. Not being one to watch a clock or calendar I have no idea how much time has passed since I overheard those conversations but surely it has not been long.

Worry over Erik's sanity and his health have filled most of my days. This period of grief has seemed to drag on longer than one would expect. Erik being the only object of my affections I cannot say how long a heart that has been battered will ache. The only comfort I could give Erik was during the times he gave in to sleep.

Weeping over him did not gain me or him a thing so I admonished myself and began giving him comfort by touch and singing lullabies to him. Sometimes I find myself singing music I don't recognize but must have heard somewhere. It is the kind of music Erik writes and what they used to sing on stage. I am not in Christine's league so will never let Erik hear me once I make myself known to him. I couldn't bear for him to compare me to Christine and find me wanting.

I do believe it is time to find Erik and confront him. No more procrastinating. The sooner we can put his anger behind us the better. As I said before I can find Erik any time I want. I can find him no matter how far down into the tunnels he travels. Our link must be such that we are connected within our souls. I like to believe that. I want that sort of connection with someone. For too long I have been on the outside looking in. I want to rejoin the world and it is with Erik I want to come back into the outside world.

The closer I get to Erik the more anxious I feel. Something is wrong, I can feel it. My steps are coming faster now. The sconces light as I approach each one. I have not questioned how they do this. I always assumed it was some trick of Erik's that had the sconces catching fire as someone approached them. Who else could do such a thing?

Finally I make the last turn into a tunnel that ends at a small cave like room. Erik is down on the bare stone floor struggling to breath. His body is coated with sweat soaking his shirt and trousers. This is all my fault. I should have come sooner. Curse me for being such a coward. Here Erik may be dying and I worried about him shouting at me. If anything should happen to him I…I don't know what I'd do. I suppose I would leave this world too.

Cautiously I lay my hand on his chest. At first I can feel nothing. Panic begins to set in then the warmth of his skin against mine warms my palm. He is so very hot, hotter than he should be. I must cool him down and get dry clothing on him. I feel an unaccustomed warmth flood my cheeks as I contemplate what removing his clothing entails. I am a virgin I am sure and can't recall having seen any naked males in my lifetime. I made sure to steer clear of the male dressing areas upstairs. The women's bare skin made me uncomfortable enough so I knew I didn't want to see any manly flesh.

Clothing won't be a problem as the dressing rooms are still intact as well as the costume department. The main fire damage centered around the stage and rows of seating. The lobby and grand staircase are gone as well. Whatever clothing I find will reek of smoke but that cannot be helped. This is my chance to show Erik how I feel about him. Helping him without any expectations of a reward will surely reveal how deeply I care for him.

It seems my feet have only begun to traverse the many tunnels and levels of storage cellars when I find myself standing in front of the door to the costume department. Long ago I gave up wondering how I could travel through so many miles of tunnels and not feel a bit winded. Sometimes it seems as if all I have to do is think of a place I wish to be and I am there. That is complete nonsense of course but it is a thought I have had often. My memory is such I cannot recall traveling from one place to another. I have yet to lose my way or fall into one of Erik's many traps. Some sixth sense lets me know of them. If I happened to fall into one of his many pits I don't think I would be afraid. I have no idea why I feel so confident in my safety but it is a fact I am aware of all the time.

Riffling through mounds of discarded costumes I manage to find a pair of trousers. Digging deeper in the pile I pull out a shirt that might be too large for Erik but at least it is dry and clean even if it smells of smoke. Before leaving I decide I may as well take several changes of clothes for Erik. Who knows how long he will need my loving hand taking care of him? I look at several gowns strewn around the room and some unfinished costumes draped across mannequins. Do I have a place where I get my own gowns? I don't recall any such place but I must have gowns of my own for I do not run around in the nude.

My lack of knowledge about myself is worrisome. Perhaps I hit my head at some point and lost parts of my memory. Not remembering such an injury does not disprove such a thing happening. It simply means I cannot remember the occasion. Shrugging my shoulders I grab my bundle tighter into my arms and head back to Erik. As before I hardly think of returning when I am soon stepping into the area where I last left Erik.

His condition appears to have worsened as now he is thrashing about. What will I do if he does me some injury in this state? We would both die before anyone came down here. Heedless of my own concerns I toss aside the clothing and kneel down beside Erik to lay my hand on his forehead. As soon as my palm rests on his burning flesh he quiets and stills. The coldness of my palm must feel like a cool breeze to his burning flesh.

"Christine, Angel, you have come back for me,' he croaks out. His poor throat must feel as if a fire has been lit inside of him. I am not pleased to be mistaken for Christine but that is not his fault. He is taken with delirium. Right about now I'd be happy to see Christine as she could soothe him surely even more than I am.

I don't like feeling ill towards the girl but it is hard when I know how much Erik cared, no, still cares for her. She is only a silly young girl barely out of the schoolroom. Erik should have known better but then his exposure to the opposite sex has always been limited. Once Christine grew into womanhood the inevitable happened. Whatever female Erik set his sights on the results would have been the same. His choice just happened to be a young girl fated to be reunited with her childhood sweetheart.

After Erik has been still for a few minutes I deem it safe to go wet some rags in the water. Later I shall have to see about getting a fire going so I can boil the water. It should be safe but with blood and God knows what else running into the drains all over Paris it is better to be safe than sorry.

Without conscious passing of time I accomplish everything I thought would make this place habitable for the two of us during his recovery. I am becoming quite skilled at finding just the objects I need to carry on with any set task. That talent came in handy when chaos ensued on opening nights. So many misplaced items causing so much upset, who knew how little things can become so important in the grand scheme of things? It was left to me to keep everyone on an even keel by finding all lost or misplaced items. Who else had the time or the ability I do? It helps that I know every nook and cranny of this grand establishment. However long I have been here it is long enough to have set foot on nearly every known inch of the place and some unknown places as well.

With everything nice and cozy all I have to do is wait for Erik to wake and then I think I shall find me a safe hiding place until I am certain he means me no harm. One can never tell about men possessed of such a mind as Erik's. Depending on how he is feeling I may be his savior or his tormentor. I hope he sees me as the former or else we will have a few rocky days ahead of us.