Chapter One – Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?

"Why the HELL did you do it, then?! You ignorant, insufferable, annoying, stupid… JOCK!" She knew he hated that word, that it would cause him to blow up in her face. But she didn't care, she couldn't! Not after what he'd done to her. Again. And with her. REALLY?! HER?! He knew what he was doing, what was going on between them, what had been going on since, well, FOREVER! And he'd STILL DONE IT!

But she was right. He blew up on her.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY 'JOCK'?! I AM NOT A FUCKING JOCK! I… I… I… I can't be." He whispered, breaking down, realizing he was losing her, more and more with each passing moment. He realized that they were having another bloody shouting match, and at the school again. They'd had a couple, in the cafeteria, lobby, parking lot. This was new. It happened in the gym, he still hadn't left the scene of the… the thing.

Why had she done it? Couldn't she see it? Didn't she know? He was happily dating, and Sam was about to ask her out! Why had she done it? WHY?!

She spoke, barely above his own whisper, "Maybe you weren't. But you are now. This isn't the first time this has happened." He made to interrupt her, but she cut him off. "I know, I know. They all came on you! But, then, why were you not pushing them off as I walked in? Oh, wait, you were still 'recovering from the shock'. Yeah, right. You know what? YOU ARE A JOCK! A BIG, FAT, STUPID, ARROGANT JOCK! GET OVER YOURSELF!" She was screaming by the end, crying. This sucked. She'd finally opened up, let someone in, and this happened! She knew she shouldn't have done it!

He could see her crying, and it broke his heart. He had no words, because she wouldn't accept what he had to say, and certainly wouldn't let him comfort her. He was an idiot. Maybe she was right about him…

But her next words shocked him, and he had to tell her the truth.

She'd said, in the slightest whisper possible, "Do I even cross your mind? When this is happening, am I going through your mind? Do you even think about me, ever?"

He'd thought she'd known. He liked her, loved her more than anything in the world. His answer was firm, clear. And truthful. "No."

Everybody gasped. All she could do was stand there, shocked. She let out a whimper, a sob, and realized what she had to do. Every one stood there, shocked, as, through the tears streaming down her face, she spoke with strong clarity. "Then maybe everybody was wrong about us. WE'RE THROUGH, CHAD DANFORTH! THROUGH! I can't believe how stupid I was, I TRUSTED YOU! I LET YOU IN! And this is how I'm repaid. I HATE YOU!" She ran, tears falling, leaving everybody standing there, shocked with the display. They all looked to Chad, who hadn't yet done anything.

He was shocked. That wasn't what he meant! "Taylor!" He called, moving to go after her. His best buddy, Troy, stopped him.

"Chad, give it up, man. You just ruined everything."

"What do you mean, I just ruined everything? I told her the truth!"

"Chad, you just told her you never think of her, she never even crosses your mind!" Troy saw the tears starting to come. "Buddy, hold up! I'll send Gabriella after her, okay? It'll be fine! She'll comfort Taylor, you'll figure out what you did. Who knows, maybe you'll even both feel better, move on…"

Chad stared at him in horror. No, that couldn't happen! He would never be able to move on. "Troy, I know you're trying to help. I appreciate that. No, really! But this is something I have to do, because that's not what I meant. I have to win her back, she's my everything. I'll see you all later, okay?" And he ran off.

Taylor was running through a park, crying, on her way home. She didn't know if he was coming after her, and she didn't care. Nothing he did could ever make this better. She heard him coming, though he was rather quiet for him. He caught up to her, turned her around so they were face-to-face. She was still crying, and looking up at him, it looked as though he was, too. That couldn't be! It was his fault they broke up in the first place. The lying, cheating, arrogant, stupid, annoyin- "Taylor." He said her name! She was about to break down, that was too much stress. She would melt. And he'd said it like he actually cared, you could hear the tears in his voice. She tried to stay strong, but the tears were still streaming down her face.

"What, in the name of hell, do you want, Danforth?" She couldn't call him Chad. She just couldn't. She also couldn't actually look at him, she'd crack. But she could hear his pain in his next sentence.

"I want you." Not the answer she'd been expecting, and so sickeningly sweet, so cheesy, that she almost felt it was a movie, that she should just give in, kiss him, and live a happily ever after. But it wasn't a movie.

"No, you don't, Danforth. I'm worthless, remember? I don't even mean enough to you to cross your mind!" He'd known, as soon as he'd said it, as soon as everybody reacted to it, that this was what she interpreted that as. But that's not how he meant it.

"My dear, dear Taylor McKessie. That isn't how I meant it. You're not worthless, which we've been over. And you mean so much that you don't even have a chance to cross my mind."

"That doesn't make any sense!" She stamped her foot. He could see her getting frustrated, and knew he only had a few more seconds to make his point, or she'd be gone for good. So he rushed into it, knowing it was better to just get it out of his system.

"Taylor McKessie, it makes perfect sense. I care about you so much that you don't ever leave my mind, so you have no chance to cross it. When I'm playing ball, I pretend that the other team has taken you from me, and I have no other way to get you back than to win. When those girls come upon me, I always know they aren't you, just from their presence, and it takes me a moment to gather why it isn't you. I love you, Taylor. I always have, I always will, and I hope you love me, too. Please, take me back. My life is nothing without you! I am nothing without you. You're my everything, the reason the sun shines, the reason I get up in the morning, the reason I live. And, even if you do leave, I will never move on. My heart is yours, for forever. I love you. So, so, so much." There, he'd poured out all of his feelings. All he could do was wait and see, see if he was accepted.

She soaked it all in. He loved her, still. She was always on his mind? Well, if that wasn't cheesy, she didn't know what was. But she must've take a little too long to reply, because he just turned around and walked away. Now she knew his pain, she couldn't bear this. But she couldn't go after him, either. She stood there, staring at where he'd been, for a long time. By the time Gabriella found her, it had started to rain. All she could do was let Gabriella lead her to her car, crying the whole way. What if she'd lost him?

He was in their place. The one where they'd first kissed, where he'd first asked her out. But this time, he was alone. And Taylor didn't love him anymore. Had she ever? That thought was too much to bear, and he walked straight into the water, not looking back. He had told her the truth, and if he had no chance with her anymore, he didn't want to live. And that's how Troy found him, under the water, not breathing, trying to forget. Trying to leave it all behind.

That was his ringtone. She just had to answer it, tell him how she really felt. What she'd done wrong. But as soon as she picked up, Chad's parents were speaking, telling her what'd happened. Chad had tried to kill himself?! How could he! She was crying, now, telling his parents she'd be there in a minute. She just had to know one thing, "Is he alive? Is he awake?" But the line was already dead.

She rushed to the hospital, where Chad's mum was waiting for her. "This way, dear." She said, and Taylor followed. She had no words left. A huge vocabulary, and nothing to say. Tragic.

They'd finally reached his room. His mum went in, retrieved his father, and they both came to sit in the hallway. They motioned for Taylor to enter, so she did.

The door wasn't even really open before he knew it was her. "Taylor?" He said quietly, so as not to frighten her. He knew she was probably just here for his parents, and was shocked when she moved into the room so he could see her. Her eyes were red, puffy, and tears were streaming down her face. It all looked so real. But it wasn't, because she couldn't care. She didn't. She hated him, couldn't accept him, not ever again. He put on a brave face, and tried to accept it. All of that crumbled, though, when she ran over and hugged him

She couldn't take it anymore. She just had to. She'd burst into fresh tears when she heard him say her name, but when she saw him in that bed, with that look in his eyes, she had to do something. So she ran over and hugged him. She saw his eyes widen in shock, and she laughed. She stayed leaning against him, head resting on his chest, just so happy he was there. She even forgot they'd had a fight, and that she still hadn't told him how she felt.

She shocked him. That was how he felt, honestly. She was laughing at him, at his shock, which was a reasonable response to what she'd just done. Honestly, one moment she didn't care, the next she was all over him, crying and laughing and hugging him. How was he supposed to take that? But he was glad she was in his arms, her head on his chest, one last time. It was almost as though she'd forgotten about their fight. He'd take what he could get, though, as it may be the last time it ever happens, her and him. Together, hugging, on a bed. Just a couple, without many issues, ones that certainly didn't seem real. Not then. So he just relaxed into the hug.

She was content, hugging him, just relaxed into each other, when she remembered. "Oh my God, Chad!" She exclaimed, pulling away. "I just… I totally forgot! It just slipped my mind! I'm so sorry, it's just, I was so glad to see you, alive, awake… Look at me, I'm babbling on again! Anyway, what I needed to say, was that I-" She was cut off a nurse walking in, commenting that visitation hours were nearly over, and yes he had to stay the night, and he needed to take more medication, so she had better be gone within the next four seconds, or she was being kicked out, never let back in. His parents ran in, took the nurse out, and explained the situation. Now the nurse was even more than reciting rules and regulations in a bored, monotone voice. She was enraged, how could these adults be so ignorantly stupid as to let the reason for their son's attempted suicide(she winced, because that pained her. It really was her fault, wasn't it…) in to see him! I mean, really! But they continued, despite her rage, to take her away, explain the situation to her. This gave her just the time she needed to finish her explanation. "So… where was I?"

"Something about how you needed to say that you were…" he answered wryly, still thinking of the nurse.

She blushed at that, something he found very attractive. His smirk was on. She was still blushing as she continued. "Yes! I just… I have to say that I was wrong." He lost his smirk at this, and looked down at her, for she was still on his chest. "I… you're the best boyfriend anybody could ever have. You didn't have to do this to prove it, but it did. I still love you, Chad Danforth, and I will forever. Please, take me back. I don't mean to be such a jerk, which I know I am, at least at times. Please, just… Please, Chad."

It took him less than two seconds to process that, and in that time, she looked up, and he crashed his lips onto hers, and with such passion, too. She was the best. But she pushed away all too soon, giggling at the expression on his face. So what? He thought he'd lost his girlfriend for good, all to find out that, really, she believed and loved him! Is that not a fair reason to be upset when she pulls away? She must've been thinking along those lines, too, because she responded to them. "I know, baby, I know. We've just found each other again! Why would I pull away from our 'make-up kiss'? I was just thinking, you know, that crazy nurse is going to come back at some point, and I'd rather not be banned from coming to see you again. So, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, sweetie!" She chirped, giving him a short peck on the lips before turning to leave. The nurse came in again, and put his medication into effect, and left him. He slept peacefully, knowing that Taylor was his again.