Author's Note: This work of fan fiction has no redeeming value. By the time you have finished reading it, you will have learned nothing and you will not walk away from it with a life lesson imprinted upon your soul. Sorry heaven seekers, you've come to the wrong place. This is for entertainment purposes only and to draw out similarities between two of my favorite shows. That's a lie. I told my Dad I would study chemistry. Why not do a study on chemistry that actually interests me? These are Wilson thoughts. They are special. Treasure the italicized words.
Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of House MD nor of Fullmetal Alchemist.
Chemistry
By: Rachel L. M.
It was the second Saturday of the month. Wilson groaned and lazily flopped over to hit the button on the alarm clock. Second Saturday, he thinks House's weekend. He wasn't complaining, really. He loved spending time with his friend, he just didn't want to end up watching some stupid old time movie that House would criticize the whole time all the while making Wilson cook or starve. No ordering food to be delivered on weekends, "There's food to be cooked and starving children in Africa, Jimmy." House would bitchand Wilson would pull himself off the couch with a groan and saunter into the kitchen.
Wilson rolled back over to glance at Amber still sleeping, right through the alarm, but that's nothing new. The woman sleeps like a rock. He quietly slips out of bed and over to the master bathroom. Sometimes he wondered why he bothered trying to balance House and a girlfriend. Life was hard enough as it was. Should just resign myself to a life without a domestic partner. The thought of maybe leading a House-less life never even crossed his mind, and if it did, his brain filed it away in the "Stupid Idea" folder by simple human instinct.
An hour later and Wilson was knocking on House's door dressed in jeans and his beloved McGill sweatshirt. "Come in!" came the shout from inside apartment 221B. Wilson opened the door and found House the way he usually did, sitting in front of the TV with a beer in one hand and remote control in the other wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt. Wilson sat or rather plopped down next to him on the old leather couch. The secrets this old piece of shit would know. "Is that a cartoon?"
House didn't even glance away from the screen, "Nope. It's an anime." He replied, taking a sip from the bottle in his left hand. Yeah, that explains so much.
"Okay…what's an anime?" Wilson asked, hoping to whatever god would listen that it wasn't a stupid question.
"It's like a Japanese cartoon, but more kick ass and with hot girls." House replied, "This one's called Fullmetal Alchemist."
"And we're watching it why?" Wilson asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. And I thought he acted like a kid before, but cartoons? Really?
"It's about science. Duh. Plus, there's a hot ckick." House stated it like it was obvious. Wilson watched as a short blonde busted through a door and began to yell at some taller man.
"Is that the hot girl?" He asked and House just laughed a little. "Nope, that's Ed. He's the main character."
Wilson leaned in closer to the TV and squinted "That's a guy? No way, it even sounds like a girl."
House turned up the volume a bit. "It gets better, he likes his boss." House smirked.
"They say that?"
"No, but it's obvious."
They watched quietly for a couple minutes as an argument ensued on the show between the short blonde kid (Ed, right?) and a taller black haired man whom Wilson assumed was Ed's boss seeing as Ed was in this man's office getting yelled at. "Who's that?"
"That's Colonel Mustang. Kind of a smug bastard, ain't he?" This last part as the Colonel made some jab about Ed's height.
They sat through about twelve episodes before they couldn't look away. They ordered pizza halfway through. "You're gonna miss the make out scene between the Colonel and Ed if you go cook." House had said. There hadn't been one but somehow Wilson was still pleased that he didn't have to miss any of the show. Somewhere around the third episode they had had a discussion about Ed's artificial arm and leg called 'automail' in the show.
"That can't be medically possible, especially for the time period they're in."
"Time period or no, it would be too heavy."
"Does look really fucking awesome though."
"Yeah."
Eventually they ran out of episodes to watch and House had promised to order the next DVDs on Netflix so they could watch them on Wednesday night when Amber had yoga.
Wilson yawned and stretched his arms up in the air. "You said this show was about science."
House put his feet up on the coffee table and leaned back into the couch more. "You don't think Ed and Colonel Mustang have chemistry?"
Wilson looked over at him with a frown and a blank stare. "Yeah, sure, about as much chemistry as we do." He got up to clear some of the pizza boxes and beer bottles that had begun to crowd around them while the TV had slowly sucked their brains out.
As Wilson stood up, House kicked out with his foot and hit the younger doctor in the leg. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
Wilson just smirked and continued to clean. Maybe he could stand to be at House's every now and then if they were going to study chemistry. Note to self: remember to never bring Amber along.
FIN
Look! I made chemistry fun!