Hey everyone! I've decided to throw the most infamous fanfic created in to the Ebonics Translator. Let's see what came out.
Chapter 1-4
Chapter 1
AN: Special fangz (git it, coz Im goffik) 2 muh motha fuckin gf (ew not in dat way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story an' spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv o' muh motha fuckin deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!
yo muh motha fuckin name iz Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way an' ah gots long ebony black fro (dat's how ah gots muh motha fuckin name) wif purple streaks an' red tips dat reaches muh motha fuckin mid-back an' icy blue peeps like limpid tears an' uh lot o' niggas tell me ah peep like Amy Lee (AN: if u don' know who she iz git da hell out o' here!). ah'm not related ta Gerard Way but ah wish ah wuz cuz he's uh major motha fuckin hottie. ah'm uh vampire but muh motha fuckin teef is straight an' whitey. ah gots pale whitey skin. ah'm also uh witch, an' ah go ta uh magic skoo called Hogwarts in England where ah'm in da sevenf year (ah'm seventeen). ah'm uh gof (in case you couldn't tell) an' ah wear mostly black. ah love Hot Topic an' ah gank all muh motha fuckin gear from dere. fo' example this day ah wuz wearing uh black corset wif matching lace around it an' uh black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets an' black combat boots. ah wuz wearing black lipstick, whitey foundation, black eyeliner an' red eye shadow. ah wuz walking outside Hogwarts. It wuz snowing an' raining so dere wuz nahh sun, which ah wuz very happy about. uh lot o' preps stared at me. ah put up muh motha fuckin middle finger at dem.
"werd up Ebony!" shouted uh voice. ah looked up. It wuz…. Draco Malfoy!
"wut up Draco?" ah asked. "nuttin'." he said shyly. But then, ah heard muh motha fuckin niggas page me an' ah had ta go away.
AN: iz it pimp-tight? PLZ tell me fangz!
Chapter 2
AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story otay!
da next day ah woke up in muh motha fuckin bedroom. It wuz snowing an' raining ag'in. ah opened da do' o' muh motha fuckin coffin an' drank some blood from uh bottle ah had. muh motha fuckin coffin wuz black ebony an' inside it wuz hot pink velvet wif black lace on da ends. ah gots out o' muh motha fuckin coffin an' took o' muh motha fuckin giant MCR t-shirt which ah used fo' pajamas. Instead, ah put on uh black leather dress, uh pentagram necklace, combat boots an' black fishnets on. ah put on four pairs o' earrings in muh motha fuckin pierced ears, an' put muh motha fuckin fro in uh kind o' messy bun.
muh motha fuckin nigga, Willow (AN: Raven dis iz u!) woke up then an' grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-lengf raven black fro wif pink streaks an' opened her forest-green peeps. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt wif uh black mini, fishnets an' pointy high-heeled boots. we's put on our makeup (black lipstick whitey foundation an' black eyeliner.)
"OMFG, ah seen you jivin' ta Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.
"Yeah? So?" ah said, blushing.
"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we's go out o' da Slytherin common room an' into da Great Hall.
"nahh ah so motha fuckin don'!" ah shouted.
"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up ta me.
"yo." he said.
"yo." ah replied flirtily.
"Guess what." he said.
"What?" ah asked.
"Well, pimp-tight Charlotte is havin` uh concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.
"awww. muh motha fuckin. motha fuckin. God!" ah screamed. ah love GC. dey is muh motha fuckin favorite gang, besides MCR.
"Well…. do you wants ta go wif me?" he asked.
ah gasped.
Chapter 3
AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ otay! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da pimp-tight reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! awww yeah, BTW ah don' own dis or da lyrics 4 pimp-tight Chralotte.
On da night o' da concert ah put on muh motha fuckin black lace-up boots wif high heels. Underneaf dem wuz ripped red fishnets. Then ah put on uh black leather minidress wif all dis here corset sheeit on da back an' front. ah put on matching fishnet on muh motha fuckin arms. ah straightened muh motha fuckin fro an' made it peep all spiky. ah felt uh little depressed then, so ah slit one o' muh motha fuckin wrists. ah read uh depressing book while ah waited fo' it ta stop bleeding an' ah listened ta some GC. ah painted muh motha fuckin nails black an' put on TONS o' black eyeliner. Then ah put on some black lipstick. ah didn't put on foundation cuz ah wuz pale anyway. ah drank some human blood so ah wuz ready ta go ta da concert.
ah go outside. Draco wuz waiting dere in front o' his flying `64. He wuz wearing uh Simple Plan t-shirt (dey would play at da show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish an' uh little eyeliner (AN: uh lot fo kewl boiz wer it otay!).
"yo Draco!" ah said in uh depressed voice.
"yo Ebony." he said back. we's walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (da license plate said 666) an' flew ta da place wif da concert. On da way we's listened excitedly ta pimp-tight Charlotte an' Marilyn Manson. we's bof smoked cigarettes an' chronic. When we's gots dere, we's bof hopped out o' da `64. we's go ta da mosh pit at da front o' da stage an' jumped up an' down as we's listened ta pimp-tight Charlotte.
"You come in cold, you covered in blood
dey're all so happy you've arrived
da doctor cuts yo' cord, hands you ta yo' mom
She sets you free into dis here life." sang Joel (ah don' own da lyrics 2 dat song).
"Joel iz so motha fuckin hot." ah said ta Draco, pointing ta him as he sung, filling da club wif his amazing voice.
Suddenly Draco looked sad.
"wut wrong?" ah asked as we's moshed ta da rap. Then ah caught on.
"werd up, it's otay ah don' like him bettah than YOU!" ah said.
"Really?" asked Draco sensitively an' he put his arm around me all protective.
"Really." ah said. "Besides ah don' even know Joel an' he's going out wif Hilary motha fuckin Duff. ah motha fuckin mah fuckin hate dat little beotch." ah said disgustedly, thinkin` o' her ugly blonde face.
da night go on really well, an' ah had uh great tyme. So did Draco. afta da concert, we's drank some colt 45 an' asked Benji an' Joel fo' they autographs an' photos wif dem. we's gots GC concert tees. Draco an' ah crawled back into da Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove da `64 into… da Forbidden Forest!
Chapter 4
AN: ah sed stup flaming otay ebony's name iz ENOBY nut mary su otay! DRACO iz SOO IN LUV wif her dat he iz acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 otay!
"DRACO!" ah shouted. "What da fuq do you think you be doin'?"
Draco didn't answer but he stopped da flying `64 an' he walked out o' it. ah walked out o' it too, curiously.
"What da motha fuckin hell?" ah asked angrily.
"Ebony?" he asked.
"What?" ah snapped.
Draco leaned in extra-close an' ah looked into his gothic red peeps (he wuz wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow an' evilness an' then suddenly ah didn't feel mad anymo'.
an' then… suddenly just as ah Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top o' me an' we's started ta make out keenly against uh tree. He took o' muh motha fuckin top an' ah took o' his gear. ah even took o' muh motha fuckin bra. Then he put his thingie into muh motha fuckin you-know-what an' we's did it fo' da first tyme.
"awww! awww! awww! " ah screamed. ah wuz beginning ta git an orgasm. we's started ta kiss everywhere an' muh motha fuckin pale body became all warm. an' then….
"WHAT da HELL is YOU doin' YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" It wuz….Dumbledore!