To Love You More

Author's note: This story came to me after reading a few fanfictions about Lily and Severus and what could have happened. This is an A/U story, and the scene from the hallway is made up from memory. A lot of it isn't like in the book, but I read the books in French, so I could only translate in my mind from memory (the book is hidden in a box right now, I'm in the middle of moving."

The characters are J.K Rowling's, I obviously do not own them, otherwise I'd be filthy rich. But I'm just another woman with a kid, trying to make ends meet. The song "To Love You More" is Celine Dion's, written by Edgar Bronfman Jr and David Foster.

Take me back in the arms I love
Need me like you did before

"Life will be so different now", wrote Lily Evans in her diary. "I just lost my best friend, who decided to be on You-Know-Who's side. He called me a "Mudblood". Me! The only person who he has close to, the only one who defended him against bullies. I still can't believe it! After all these years, he made his choice clear after I heard him calling me that foul name, when I tried to defend him against Toerag Potter and his good for nothing best friend Sirius I'm Better Looking Than Thou Black. My best friend will would always come before my housemates, but apparently, all this is worth nothing in the end. I hope that, maybe, one day, Severus sees that the choice he made was the wrong one and that he comes back to the Light side. I know I will not survive the war that is upon us. Being Muggleborn means I'll most likely be the first one to go, once I graduate. Maybe that will wake him up..."

Sighing, Lily closes her diary and put the ink and quill away. Only a few hours before, she had witnessed her best friend being bullied and then she lost him. James Potter had come in the common room after torturing Severus to tell her to forget about the greasy git and if she ever needed a shoulder to cry on...

She litterally stood up, stomped her way to the Griffindor Chaser, her eyes blazing and punched him square on his right eye. She broke his glasses and cut her hand in the process but could seriously care less.

"This is all your fault, Toerag Potter!" yelled Lily.

"If it wasn't for you, Black and Pettigrew always picking on him just because he's in Slytherin, this wouldn't have happened! I hate you more than You-Know-Who, and I wouldn't date you even if you were the last man on this planet! Go to hell, you and all of your Marauders. And don't ever speak to me again!"

She whirled around, leaving a bleeding Potter and shocked housemates, and went to lock herself in her room. Mary and Lucia wouldn't dare bothering her after the scene that just happened. They were there after all.

Just as she finished hiding her diary, a timid knock to the door pulled her out of her daydream.

"It's opened", she snapped.

Mary slowly walked in, judging Lily's face, making sure that she wouldn't punch her or go wild on her before speaking.

"Lily... Severus Snape is at he portrait. He wishes to speak with you."

"Tell him I'm done excusing him. I'm not going down there."

"It's just that he threatened to sleep right there if you don't show up. Either way, you'll have to face him. Just go, listen to him. You don't have to forgive him."

Mary turned around, exited the room, leaving the bedroom door opened. Lily thought a bit over what her friend said and had to agree. She would have to face him at some point. If not now, in Potions class. Might as well be now. She slowly made her way downstairs. Once in the common room, the students made way for her to pass, too shocked to talk to her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin huddled together, trying to fix Potter's glasses. Nobody else dared helping him.

Lily made her way through the Fat Lady's portrait, and just like Mary said, Severus Snape was sitting in front of it, his head buried in his knees.

"I don't have all night", she said in an icy tone. "Mary told me you threatened to sleep here if I didn't come down and talk to you. Speak!"

Severus winced at the tone Lily used. It was a tone she used on anybody else but never him. I deserve it, he thought.

"I would have. Lily, I'm so sorry I said that! It just..."

"Slipped out?"

"Yeah!... No!... I mean..."

Disgusted, the teenage girl turned to walk back in the common room.

"I saw you s mile at Potter's bullying, Lily!", Severus yelled desperately. "I saw you smile and thought that you found funny to see your best friend, hanging upside down like that! How do you think that made me feel?"

Lily stopped, just as she was about to whisper the password and tried to remember exactly what happened at the lake. Images passed through her mind; Potter laughing, her yelling at the idiot, Sirius edging Potter to continue, Pettigrew almost wetting his pants in delight over what was happening, Lupin reading a book... and a tiny smile appearing on her face. She turned to face Severus.

"I did smile, Severus. But not at what they were doing to you. I smiled at Potter's lame attempt to make me go out with him. He had told me before the exam that he would find a way, and I guess what was it."

Both teenagers stood there, thinking everything over. Severus deeply regretted calling Lily a Mudblood and clearly saw that it was a misunderstanding of body language. Yet, he was boiling because Potter was still trying to get to Lily. She was too good for that bully! Lily didn't know what to think of the whole ordeal. Yeah, it was a misunderstanding but the word still echoed in her mind, as sharp as it was spoken hours before.

"Lily... I'm so sorry."

She turned her head away for a few seconds and then...

"Prove it, Severus. Prove to me that I'm not a Mudblood. That you're not like your housemates. That you're qualified to be my friend. That you're better than a whole lot of people."

Seeing hope, Severus jumped and kneeled in front of the girl he fell in love with when they were just children.

"How?"

"You figure it out. You're smart, you should find the solution. You have until Christmas."

"But that is months away! You won't speak to me all that time?"

"No. I need proof Severus. Without me by your side, you should make a clearer decision. Christmas is in six months. That's a short time compared to a lifetime without speaking to each other."

With that, she took her leave. After the portrait closed behind her, Severus just stared blankly at the Fat Lady.

"Honey, you know what to do", said Fat Lady.

Severus scowled, got back up to his feet and walked away. He knew what to do. Wouldn't be an easy task. But he would get Lily back this Christmas.

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