A/N: Do you ever feel like if you don't write something funny you'll shove your head down a toilet? That's how I feel. I didn't want to write the Halloween Town chapter of KF, 'cause right now I am feeling LA-ZEH and also Ikindaforgotwhathappensinthegame.
^_^
"Yawwwwnn..." Riku stretched out in his super-king sized bed in his HUGE room, which was filled in his own merchandise (Riku pillowcase, Riku duvet, Riku sheet, Riku lamp, Riku radio, Riku pencilcase, Riku toilet seat, Riku bookcase, Riku posters, Riku foot massager, etc, etc) and the like.
Opening his aqua eyes, he gazed about his "personal haven", aka. a fangirl's dreamland.
Now, let's just take a minute to fantasise about that room...
...
Okay, back to the story.
Jumping out of bed, he pressed the button for the doors of his Walk-In-Mega-Huge-Clost-Thingª and walked in.
'What to wear today?' He wondered, trying to decide if he should wear the yellow shirt or the other yellow shirt.
"Ooooo, I know! How about THAT yellow shirt!" And as he walked over to get it he tripped over his little action figure that, for some reason, was there.
Logically, he fell.
"Ow... Hey! How'd this get here?" Sprawled out on the ground, he could now see his Heartless outfit scrunched up in the corner.
He pulled it out and brushed off a few wrinkles.
Then, he began to think.
Two hours later...
"AHA! I've got it!" He yelled, and tripped over yet another of his damn action figures.
"I'll dress up as evil me and pretend Ansem is controlling me!"
"But Anshem could get arreshted!" A tiny little voice cried out.
Riku peered under his bed, and sighed. "Jiminy, have you been into Squall's winery AGAIN?!"
The drunk bug grinned pervertedly. "Oh yesh. I had lotsha fun with Leon."
"Dude, he's called Squall now."
"Nuh-uh!"
All Riku could do was pity the cricket. After all, ever since Pinocchio had left him for Goofy, he hadn't been thinking straight.
The pale blue haired beauty got up and got changed, unaware of the disastrous circumstances that were to befall him that day.
***
"WHEN YOU WALK AWAYYYYYY, YOU DON'T HEAR ME SAYYYY-"
"Kairi, what did I say about you having breakfast here?" Riku had just come down the stairs to find his friend singing as loudly and as badly as she could while eating Gummi Block cerealª.
"Oh. Sorry Riku, it's just that I caught Sora cheating on me..." She sneezed, wiping an arm across her face.
"What, again? Stupid kid, I told him to stop when I found him with Aurora-" That's when Riku remembered that Sora never told Kairi about that.
"AURORA TOO?" She screamed, "Selphie... Aurora... Who next? Daisy?"
Riku decided the best thing to do was keep his mouth shut.
Unfortunately, Kairi's female instinct kicked in, and the next thing he knew, she was running off, screaming bloody murder.
Picking up her abandoned breakfast and eating a spoonful, he sighed sadly.
"She didn't even notice my outfit..."
***
Outside, the sun was shining, and Tidus was trying to hump a poor, unsuspecting fish.
"Hey, Riku!" He called, his slow minded brain temporarily forgetting about the fish, "Whatcha wearing?"
The skin-tight clad boy grinned. "My Heartless outfit!"
"Yer what?"
'Right... idiot.' Riku thought. "Nevermind Tidus, nevermind." And he walked on.
"Whassup with him?" Tidus wondered, but suddenly his mind went back to more important matters - the fish.
***
'Okay, so Kairi wants to kill Sora and Tidus was trying to hump a fish. Why isn't anyone sane noticing my outfit?'
It then occured to him that none of the people he had met so far that day were sane.
It also occured to him that if he was wearing the Heartless outfit, he had to act the part.
"Morning, Riku!" Sora called from his hammock down by the paopu tree. "Hmm... something's different... did you cut your hair? No... ah, gee..." He looked Riku up and down. "The Heartless logo? I've got it now! You're wearing the outfit that Ansem made you wear!"
"Yes. Now return your heart to darkness!" After not acting like he was going through puberty in such a long time, it was hard getting the voice back. Also, thankfully, Sora was too surprised to notice he got the words wrong.
"AHHHH! Riku, don't let Ansem control you!" The brunette hugged the older boy. "No... I'll just go get Ansem! Riku, stay right here!" And off he ran.
'Hmm...' Riku thought while standing there, 'Maybe I should have told him Kairi's got PMS... nah, I'm sure he'll be fine. After all, what's the worse that can happen?'
Meanwhile, in Hollow Bastion...
"Damnit, does this thing still work?" Kairi thought out loud as she kicked Maleficent's cauldron, scaring away a few spiders.
"Wait, how'd I get here? Squall said something about not being able to go from world to world anymore... oh well." She shrugged, and went back to her feeble attempts to wake up the cauldron.
"Work! WORK!" Kairi screamed, and leapt at it...
In the sudden impact, the old room creaked.
"Uh-oh..." She said softly.
Then the chandelier fell.
"OW! Da-freaking-mnit, it's crushing my spleen!"
Anyway, back at Destiny Islands...
About half an hour had passed, and Sora still hadn't returned.
'Maybe I should go check where he is...' Riku wondered, and stepped forward.
He promptly fell forward into the water below.
"Okay, no more walking on pins and needles." He promised himself, and swam back to shore.
"Huh?"
A mountian had appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the island.
Being the inquisitive soul he is, Riku just had to go check it out.
A few seconds later, he stood at the door to a huge castle.
"That... was quick."
Riku went inside, into thick, thick darkness.
"BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Hey Ansem."
The lights went on and he saw his ex-master, who was unpleased at the fact he hadn't scared Riku. "Kid, couldn't you even try to be scared? I worked really hard on that laugh!"
"Yeah, yeah... hey, who's your friend?"
Another male was in the room, wearing even weirder clothes than Ansem and had bluish-purple hair.
"Oh, he's Kuja."
The boy raised an eyebrow. "Are you going around getting younger men again?"
"No!" Ansem insisted, "He's your father!"
Riku's eyes opened as big as Sora's shoes. "Wha? My father?! But- OH, YUCK!" He had to run to the side and throw up as a sickening thought came to mind. "Dear GOD, no!"
"What? No, of course not!" Ansem cried, waving his arms around. "Uh... why are you wearing the Heartless outfit?"
"Well, I was going to scare people, and it worked on Sora, and that's why I'm here. Where is he?"
"Sora?"
"Yeah! He has to be here!"
Ansem shook his head. "I haven't seen him in ages!"
Riku gasped. "Then that means..."
A/N: *gasp*! What does it mean? WHAT, WHAT?
Well, I know. *sly grin* But the question is... Do YOU want to know?
^_^
"Yawwwwnn..." Riku stretched out in his super-king sized bed in his HUGE room, which was filled in his own merchandise (Riku pillowcase, Riku duvet, Riku sheet, Riku lamp, Riku radio, Riku pencilcase, Riku toilet seat, Riku bookcase, Riku posters, Riku foot massager, etc, etc) and the like.
Opening his aqua eyes, he gazed about his "personal haven", aka. a fangirl's dreamland.
Now, let's just take a minute to fantasise about that room...
...
Okay, back to the story.
Jumping out of bed, he pressed the button for the doors of his Walk-In-Mega-Huge-Clost-Thingª and walked in.
'What to wear today?' He wondered, trying to decide if he should wear the yellow shirt or the other yellow shirt.
"Ooooo, I know! How about THAT yellow shirt!" And as he walked over to get it he tripped over his little action figure that, for some reason, was there.
Logically, he fell.
"Ow... Hey! How'd this get here?" Sprawled out on the ground, he could now see his Heartless outfit scrunched up in the corner.
He pulled it out and brushed off a few wrinkles.
Then, he began to think.
Two hours later...
"AHA! I've got it!" He yelled, and tripped over yet another of his damn action figures.
"I'll dress up as evil me and pretend Ansem is controlling me!"
"But Anshem could get arreshted!" A tiny little voice cried out.
Riku peered under his bed, and sighed. "Jiminy, have you been into Squall's winery AGAIN?!"
The drunk bug grinned pervertedly. "Oh yesh. I had lotsha fun with Leon."
"Dude, he's called Squall now."
"Nuh-uh!"
All Riku could do was pity the cricket. After all, ever since Pinocchio had left him for Goofy, he hadn't been thinking straight.
The pale blue haired beauty got up and got changed, unaware of the disastrous circumstances that were to befall him that day.
***
"WHEN YOU WALK AWAYYYYYY, YOU DON'T HEAR ME SAYYYY-"
"Kairi, what did I say about you having breakfast here?" Riku had just come down the stairs to find his friend singing as loudly and as badly as she could while eating Gummi Block cerealª.
"Oh. Sorry Riku, it's just that I caught Sora cheating on me..." She sneezed, wiping an arm across her face.
"What, again? Stupid kid, I told him to stop when I found him with Aurora-" That's when Riku remembered that Sora never told Kairi about that.
"AURORA TOO?" She screamed, "Selphie... Aurora... Who next? Daisy?"
Riku decided the best thing to do was keep his mouth shut.
Unfortunately, Kairi's female instinct kicked in, and the next thing he knew, she was running off, screaming bloody murder.
Picking up her abandoned breakfast and eating a spoonful, he sighed sadly.
"She didn't even notice my outfit..."
***
Outside, the sun was shining, and Tidus was trying to hump a poor, unsuspecting fish.
"Hey, Riku!" He called, his slow minded brain temporarily forgetting about the fish, "Whatcha wearing?"
The skin-tight clad boy grinned. "My Heartless outfit!"
"Yer what?"
'Right... idiot.' Riku thought. "Nevermind Tidus, nevermind." And he walked on.
"Whassup with him?" Tidus wondered, but suddenly his mind went back to more important matters - the fish.
***
'Okay, so Kairi wants to kill Sora and Tidus was trying to hump a fish. Why isn't anyone sane noticing my outfit?'
It then occured to him that none of the people he had met so far that day were sane.
It also occured to him that if he was wearing the Heartless outfit, he had to act the part.
"Morning, Riku!" Sora called from his hammock down by the paopu tree. "Hmm... something's different... did you cut your hair? No... ah, gee..." He looked Riku up and down. "The Heartless logo? I've got it now! You're wearing the outfit that Ansem made you wear!"
"Yes. Now return your heart to darkness!" After not acting like he was going through puberty in such a long time, it was hard getting the voice back. Also, thankfully, Sora was too surprised to notice he got the words wrong.
"AHHHH! Riku, don't let Ansem control you!" The brunette hugged the older boy. "No... I'll just go get Ansem! Riku, stay right here!" And off he ran.
'Hmm...' Riku thought while standing there, 'Maybe I should have told him Kairi's got PMS... nah, I'm sure he'll be fine. After all, what's the worse that can happen?'
Meanwhile, in Hollow Bastion...
"Damnit, does this thing still work?" Kairi thought out loud as she kicked Maleficent's cauldron, scaring away a few spiders.
"Wait, how'd I get here? Squall said something about not being able to go from world to world anymore... oh well." She shrugged, and went back to her feeble attempts to wake up the cauldron.
"Work! WORK!" Kairi screamed, and leapt at it...
In the sudden impact, the old room creaked.
"Uh-oh..." She said softly.
Then the chandelier fell.
"OW! Da-freaking-mnit, it's crushing my spleen!"
Anyway, back at Destiny Islands...
About half an hour had passed, and Sora still hadn't returned.
'Maybe I should go check where he is...' Riku wondered, and stepped forward.
He promptly fell forward into the water below.
"Okay, no more walking on pins and needles." He promised himself, and swam back to shore.
"Huh?"
A mountian had appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the island.
Being the inquisitive soul he is, Riku just had to go check it out.
A few seconds later, he stood at the door to a huge castle.
"That... was quick."
Riku went inside, into thick, thick darkness.
"BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Hey Ansem."
The lights went on and he saw his ex-master, who was unpleased at the fact he hadn't scared Riku. "Kid, couldn't you even try to be scared? I worked really hard on that laugh!"
"Yeah, yeah... hey, who's your friend?"
Another male was in the room, wearing even weirder clothes than Ansem and had bluish-purple hair.
"Oh, he's Kuja."
The boy raised an eyebrow. "Are you going around getting younger men again?"
"No!" Ansem insisted, "He's your father!"
Riku's eyes opened as big as Sora's shoes. "Wha? My father?! But- OH, YUCK!" He had to run to the side and throw up as a sickening thought came to mind. "Dear GOD, no!"
"What? No, of course not!" Ansem cried, waving his arms around. "Uh... why are you wearing the Heartless outfit?"
"Well, I was going to scare people, and it worked on Sora, and that's why I'm here. Where is he?"
"Sora?"
"Yeah! He has to be here!"
Ansem shook his head. "I haven't seen him in ages!"
Riku gasped. "Then that means..."
A/N: *gasp*! What does it mean? WHAT, WHAT?
Well, I know. *sly grin* But the question is... Do YOU want to know?