A/N: This is to the tune of 'Henry the VIII'. Figured Harry was tired of being girl-less… since he is at that age. *snicker* This just popped into my head and I thought I'd share. Please R/R if I amused you :)

Harry the First

I'm Harry the First I am
Harry the First I am, I am
People think I'm gonna date Hermione
But she's been claimed by Ron Weasely
So next on the list in Ginny
But she's been snagged by Draco, Neville too
My fic pairings look bleary
All that's left is Myrtle in the loo!

But I refuse to stoop that low
Stoop that low, oh no, oh no
If she hadn't snogged that Cedric ago
I could run after Cho
Maybe Fleur and I will have a go
But not after all the snooty things she's said
Angelina and Katie… no
They've already got their George and Fred!

I'm afraid I'll have to turn to slash
But most of slash gets bashed, gets bashed
Maybe Draco will find me sexy
If not, they'll put me with Snape-y
I refuse to think about dear Ronnikins
Neither Dumbledore nor Hagrid turn me on
I'm afraid it is inevitable
They're gonna have to pair me up with Tom!

But I'm Harry the First I am
Harry the First I am, I am
The past four books have been super great
But why can't I ever seem to get a date?
I guess I'll have to go to desperate mode
It's what I swore that I would never do
Girls you've hit the mother-load
I am searching for you, Mary-Sue!