That Awkward First

by CaseyIsMyValentine

That awkward Cammy story. This is how relationships work, people. I don't know what Nicholas Sparks puts in HIS wife's water, but relationships. Are. Awkward.

That Awkward First - A Cammy Story

Casey sets the plate of macaroni and salsa down in front of me, and I haven't even realized how hungry I was until I start shoveling the food into my mouth, barely even pausing so swallow.

I hear a cough and look up. He's watching me with a weird expression on his face.

"Shut up." I say. "I'm hungry."

He puts his hands up. "I'm not saying anything. And I didn't say you weren't."

I finish the bowl in record time and eat seconds. After we're both done, he says, "Well, I'm glad I got you fattened up. The more meat, the more to eat."

I slap his arm. "You're so mean!" I whine. "You know I'm just a human food machine."

He grins. "Eating everything in sight…day and night…dark or light…"

"Oh, shut up, and let's start studying like we planned to." We head up to his room and I crack open a textbook.

Geometry. My mind gets fuzzy and I wonder why I'm even taking this course. It makes no sense to me.

"Can you proof some things for me?"

"I believe the phrase is prove." his voice is steady, his eyes on his own Algebra 2 homework. He's a sophomore, I'm a freshman. Our study dates usually consist of us bickering and bantering. Is bantering a word?

"No, I mean, proofs in Geometry." I shove my book in his lap. "Look, I don't understand why these triangles are congruent. Better yet, I don't understand why I have to understand why these triangles are congruent."

He rolls his eyes but reads the problem. "Um, I think it's because line A and B are perpendicular to each other on both triangles and the congruent marker says…uh.."

While my boyfriend is doing a problem of my homework for me, I go ahead to Chemistry. When he's done, he shows me the answer and explains it to me.

"Okay, so the perpendicular lines…that's the theorem of… perpendicular congruent lines?"

"Uh…I think? I hated Geometry as much as you, Sammy. But I'm pretty sure its 'the definition of perpendicular angles'. For your 2nd proof."

"Thanks." that helps. I finish off the problem with more ease. We're sitting on the floor of his room. His mom and Heather are out somewhere.

"Can we pop popcorn I ask?"

"Food? Again?"

"It helps my brain."

He looks up from his homework. "It helps your brain?" he sighs and shoves his stuff aside. "You really don't want to do homework, do you?"

"It's Friday." I complain, fingering a loose strand of carpet.

He gets up and puts his iPod in its iDock. He puts on a song.

"What song is this?"

"Just some Bon Jovi."

I gag. "Eww, you're a terrible person."

He laughs. "I like bad music, you like food. We're even."

I stand up and say, "Hey, this song is actually sort of catchy. Don't get any ideas. I said sort of."

He smiles.

I begin bobbing my head and in a minute or so I'm jumping on my bed singing, "It's my life! And it's now or neeeveerr! I ain't gonna live forever!"

The song is over and Casey switches it to some mellow rock. "You're really hyper, you know that?"

I sit on his bed, facing him. He's sitting on his desk chair, across from me.

"I know." I say, taking out my ponytail and shaking my hair. I re-tie my hair into a bun and say, "Is there a problem?"

He shakes his head, but his mind seems elsewhere. In all the times I've studied over at his house for a study date, he's never acted this strange. We usually joke around, listen to movies, make fun of the stupid books schools make us read for class, do homework, and pretend like we care about school when we both really don't. I guess both of us getting good grades is some sort of fluke. We do study, however.

But he's never acted like this.

Distant.

"Are you okay?" I ask. I put my hand on his knee. Our first physical contact all night.

He flinches.

I pull back fast and suddenly my heart is beating hard in my chest. "Casey…"

"Yeah?" he looks up at the ceiling.

"You're not breaking up with me, are you?"

His clear brown eyes meet mine. He takes a deep breath. "No."

"Then what's the matter?" I ask.

He comes and sits beside me on the bed. Yes, he's breaking up with me…he's been planning it for days, didn't know how to tell me without hurting me.

I let my imagination run wild with all sorts of stories he'll tell me in a moment.

But instead of him even saying anything, I'm feeling his hands take my face and move it to face his. And his lips are on mine.

I don't know where this even came from.

He lets his hands slide down to my shoulders. He rests them there gently.

I don't resist.

It's really nothing but a harmless kiss. He pulls away and looks back at the ceiling. Anywhere but at me. I wish I knew what was up with him.

"Casey?" I ask again, but this time I can't even start my next sentence because he's kissing me again.

I let him kiss me, longer than we've ever kissed before.

Then I finally pull away and stand up.

I can see the disappointment in his eyes.

"It's not like that." I say, my voice trailing off.

"Like what?" He finally asks.

"It's not that I don't want to do that."

"Do what?" he asks.

"You know…kiss you."

"Okay."

"Can you just tell me what's up? Why are you being like this?"

Usually on our study dates we just hung out. Maybe we had an occasional kiss but just the small, quick ones. And that was only like, maybe once or twice in the period of a 5-hour study date.

I've never kissed him like that before. I have to admit, it made me scared, but in the good kind of way.

I liked it.

But why now?

He takes a deep breath. "I don't know. I guess I just wanted to… you know."

There's a slight pause. I sit back beside him. "Then why didn't you just tell me?"

He laughs and his voice catches as he asks, "What was I supposed to say? Hey, let's make out even though we've never done it before?"

When he puts it like that, I admit, it's kind of strange.

"No, but…" I don't have an answer to that.

"Now I know." I said.

He shrugs. "Know what?"

I punch his shoulder. "I think we both know what we both now know."

"Don't say that again, please!" and he leans in to kiss me again. This time I'm prepared, and it's not really that awkward.

I lean back and let him lean more into me as we kiss. His hands remain on my waist the whole time, never moving. He's probably too scared to.

I don't blame him. I'm kind of scared about what to do with my hands, too.

I finally just set them on his back and keep them there.

I'm not really lying down, if that's what you think. I'm just kind of leaning back.

I lean forward again and he rolls off me and face-into his pillow.

"You okay?" I ask, crawling over.

His face is still buried in his pillow but his hand comes up, forming a thumbs-up. "Better than I've ever been, actually."

He sits up, and smiles at me.

I'm glad we got that figured out.

"Wanna do homework?" I ask, realizing that I want for him to kiss me again. I don't say it, though.

"Sure." he takes my hand and we sit on the floor.

I do some more proofs. Finally I ask, "Hey, put on some music."

"Right on it, Sammy." he salutes and gets up to change the song. He changes it to "I Kissed a Girl".

"Wow, you're so gay." I roll my eyes. "And you don't even like boys."

We both laugh at this stupid Katy Perry jokeness for a minute then he says, "Fine." and switches the song to "Can We Kiss?" by Calvin Johnson.

"No." I say. I look at over at his face.

He's just standing there looking adorable.

"Maybe." I bit my lip.

"Can I take that as a 'Yes'?" he asks.

"No….maybe…yes."

"Let's go downstairs." he stops the music and takes my hand. I think we both felt kind of awkward in his room.

I guess it made us feel guilty, like we're doing something wrong."

We settle on the couch and he turns the TV on. American Psycho is playing on TV.

"This is crazy." he points to the screen.

I lean into him. "Yeah, it is crazy."

I don't know how long I'll have to wait until the next time.

Note: OKAY. SO. DONE. VERY SHORT BUT CAMMY. VERY AWKWARD STORY. It was supposed to be awkward and random.