A/N: I'm back. I want to go ahead and say this. I am trying to heal, writing helps. I am also a very sensitive person and well aware that by writing I set myself up for criticism. I set myself up for criticism, not attacks on my person or what happened to me. I am trying to write more, but everyday is a battle for me. I struggle everyday to keep going; your positive reviews help so so much. And for those that leave those reviews. Thank you:
You cannot believe this is happening' this cannot be happening: yet the pain you are feeling assures you that this is happening.
Your worse nightmare.
You have been abducted. Again.
Your hands are cuffed and hung above your head, you feel a burning pain in your side, you are freezing.
It is happening all over again.
The statistics are nothing short of unbelievable.
The fact that you survived your first abduction was in itself a miracle.
The added notion that you have been kidnapped again defies all odds.
Yet, here you are.
Living in hell again.
In pain again.
In fear again.
The smells are horrific, the sounds are hellish.
You feel your bare feet on the cold stone floor, you feel your body shaking from the cold; from the fear.
And you hear him enter the room again.
Him.
You thought he had died, you thought for sure you had watched him fall to his death; you thought for sure your team had told you that you were safe.
But safety is nothing but an illusion. You are never truly safe; now you understand that.
Will can hold you at night and tell you that you are safe, your team can reassure you that those associated with your first abduction can never hurt you again.
You shiver at your own thought. Your first abduction...
Nobody should have to survive one; yet you did.
And now here you are, trapped in a second.
You wonder what the odds are. To be abducted twice is already defying the odds; surviving both of them would be beyond a miracle.
And you hope you have just one more miracle left.
You bite your lip as you hear him approaching.
And with a deep breath, you make a decision that you know has every possibility of costing you your life.
Has he nears, you stiffen your body, and look up.
You meet his eyes and glare.
He is hiding behind a mask, but you know who he is.
He lifts a gun and presses it to your forehead.
This is it. This is the end, and you have nothing else to lose.
"Go ahead." You growl. "I'm not afraid you anymore." You swallow as you hear the safety release from the gun.
You know your team is not coming, you know you are not getting out alive.
"You've run my life for the least three years; nightmares, flashbacks, you've caused it all." You lick your lips. "And its simply because you are evil." The gun presses harder to your head.
But you refuse to close your eyes.
Instead you stare at him, behind the mask.
"You are evil and you have taken so much." Another pause. "But you have not taken everything. I still have so much, so much that you can never take."
You blink as his image seems to sway in front of you. "You cannot take the memories I have of my team, of my family, you cannot steal that happiness. You cannot take that I am a mother, a sister, wife, friend; you cannot take away the lives I have saved. All you can do is think of the lives you've stolen."
He must have drugged you because you know longer feel pain.
"You cannot take away the courage I have, the joy I have felt, you cannot break me. You can hurt me, and you can kill me, but you will never take away everything from me. I am damn well aware that you can pull that trigger and you have the control. But you will never get what you want; nothing you do can fix the evil you have done. Nothing I do can take away the good I have done."
Your hands are free, and your drop them to your side and stare at him.
"So while you think you may have control, all you have is a gun and a trigger finger." You hold his gaze. "You've lost Michael."
You grin at him and reach out to grab the gun.
It goes off.
And you scream.
"JJ!"
Warm arms embrace you, rocking you back and forth. "Shh, it's okay, you're safe." Will whispers as he rocks you in his arms.
And you take a deep breath, because now, it seems as if you have done something you have not been able to do in years.
Tonight, you start taking back control.
What started out as a nightmare turned into a dream.
A dream where you took back your control from Michael Hastings. A night where you finally let go.