Easy As Pie

–

A Twilight/Constantine crossover

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, although I wish I'd come up with Balthazar... Twilight can dig a ditch and die in it.

-

Balthazar was in the town of Forks to get two souls for Lucifer. A vampire and his human girlfriend. Easy as pie, Balthazar thought to himself.

'I'm designed to kill,' Edward said. 'As if you could ever beat me.'

'I don't care, vampy-boy, if Lu wants your girlfriend's soul he's going to get it,' said Balthazar, toying with the vampire. 'Anyone could've sworn you've never heard of demons before. Even half-breeds like me are more powerful than you pitiful bloodsuckers.'

Edward looked decidedly less confident.

'So where is she, vampy-boy? I don't want to have to torture you... Well, actually, I do, but it would be more enjoyable if your little mortal girlfriend was watching.'

'I'm not telling you anything.'

'Fine, suit yourself.' Balthazar flipped his gold coin over his knuckles, the way he always did when he was premeditating something awful. 'Ah, so she's at her dad's place? Interesting...' While I'm in his head I should see his face as I make him light himself on fire. Oh well.

In the blink of an eye, Balthazar was gone.

Edward ran as fast as he could to Bella's house. If he could just get there before the half-breed could...

There was a scream as his foot landed on Bella's front lawn. No! When he arrived in her room, it was too late. Bella was lying on the floor of the bedroom, deathly white. Her blood was in a jug on the bedside table.

'This can't be happening,' Edward said aloud.

'Too good to be true, is it?' said Balthazar, out of nowhere. 'You finally get to drink her blood, vampy-boy, the blood that's been driving you crazy. Your own "personal brand of heroin". That's what you called it, right?'

Furious, Edward turned around to face Balthazar. Balthazar clicked, and the room went up in flames. 'You know, I find that the most enjoyable way of putting out fires is with gasoline...' and, for the second time, Balthazar was gone. Easy as pie.

Edward tried to run, but he was stuck to the spot.

No...

Then he, too, was gone. Forever.