A/N: Obligatory post-Ragnarok fic with the hug that wasn't on-screen :/ Warning for spoilers, obviously. I firmly believe that when Thor said "hug" what he meant was "make passionate love to you" :D Xposted on AOO were it has developed into a series of ficlets. Due to rating later works are not reposted here.
Disclaimer: Do we still have to write these? Obviously, I don't own them. If I did - I wouldn't have to write this as this would have happened in da movie.
Keep hoping, Keep fighting
"If you were here, I might even hug you," the words were flippant, as he played with the thing that might be a paperweight as well as a grenade. He tossed it up, caught it in his palm, when it fell. Hesitation felt like a breath held captive in his chest. He wanted to know the truth, but he feared it would hurt.
With Loki pain was a given, yet that was not enough to stop Thor from seeking him out, from cherishing every moment they spent together. Hard as he might try every once in a while, – he could never give up on Loki. After all – wasn't that what heroes did? What brothers did? He threw the thing.
They kept hoping. And they kept fighting.
And Loki caught it. To Thor it felt like he was squeezing Thor's own heart in his palm. "I'm here."
Relief tasted like laughter. It burned at the edge of his throat, Thor's remaining eye bright as a newborn star. The moment dragged on as the weight of the last few days fell from his shoulders. No longer just his burden. A shared one. He traversed the distance between them as if it was nothing. It was nothing. What were three steps when they had been separated by the emptiness of space, by anger and betrayal, by death itself? The distance between them was nothing. They always found each other.
"Oj!" Loki protested when Thor enveloped him in a crushing hug. "You're disgusting," he grumbled and taking advantage of their closeness with long, graceful fingers mercilessly poked at Thor's sides, looking for broken ribs and signs of internal bleeding. He didn't push Thor away.
For his part, Thor just held him closer, drew him deeper into the hug. His massive arms like walls that held the rest of the universe at bay. He nuzzled his face near Loki's throat. Unbidden came the words of his father to mind – Asgard is where its people are. To Thor Asgard was with Loki. He grunted when an especially painful poke made his entire body stiffen. "Could you stop?" he growled, and bit lightly at the edge of Loki's jaw. His brother's armor denied him access to more skin. "We're having a moment here."
"You're having a moment," Loki replied, snide and humorous all at once. "I'm being molested by a disgusting oaf," his soft tone belied his harsh words. Once again, he pressed against the point that had made Thor gasp – the touch was gentle, but the reaction was not. "You're bleeding. Internally."
"It'll heal," winded, but stubborn, Thor didn't feel like letting his brother go when he finally had him where he belonged.
"You also stink," Loki wasn't even trying to be tactful.
"So much for that silver tongue," Thor grumbled, but it was a soft murmur of discontent – nothing like the storms that he could whip up when he had the mind to. He stubbornly held on. He knew there was sense in Loki's words, he had ignored the needs of his body for far too long, pressing ahead obstinately, but out of all times – he could not let go now. If he were asked to put it to words – he wouldn't know how or why, but somehow, he felt that if he were to let Loki go, that… That he might never catch him again.
He'd lost his father. Asgard. His hammer. His eye. He could not lose his brother. He held on like a drowning man to the only thing keeping him afloat.
"Thor," Loki's gentle whisper came near Thor's ear and a full body shudder went through the god of Thunder. "Thor, you need healing."
A whole line of muscles in Thor's arms flexed as he thought and stayed put. He couldn't. He couldn't let go, and he was too ashamed to voice this deficiency of his. He exhaled softly against his brother's neck. And then like lightning, a line of pure, hot agony washed through him setting his spine and lungs afire, and it made him collapse to his knees. He clutched at his side as he rasped for oxygen. His eye awash with tears of pain as he looked up at his brother.
Loki did not look satisfied, only annoyed. Thor even thought that he saw concern flash through those green eyes, but by then the saltwater in his own made it too hard to see much at all.
"I never listen?" Loki cursed as he hooked his arm under Thor's and pulled him to his feet. "You never listen," he continued as he strained to pull Thor towards the bed. Thor's legs hardly cooperating. "You're like a horse with blinders on," Loki berated his brother, "and just as fucking heavy." He finally managed to get Thor on the bed.
Thor fell back, unable to sit, his breath still coming in short rasps. "What… what… did…"
"Proved my point," Loki snapped back and reached down to lift Thor's legs on the bed with the rest of him, before climbing on top. "You can't go around ignoring these things anymore," his tone was harsh, his weight heavy on Thor's thighs. But welcomed.
"Idiot," Loki accused when he magicked Thor's armor away and saw his brother's eye widen in excitement. The darkness in Thor's gaze was not just from lack of oxygen and pain, but also desire. Loki pursed his lips and pressed against Thor's injured side again. Hard. The act more than mere pettiness – he checked for the extent of the hurt.
Thor screamed. How? He knew not, he hardly had the breath to keep thinking.
"Asgard is gone," Loki's touch turned gentle and careful on the bruised, hard skin that hid massive damage inside. "There are no more Healing Halls, no more miracle workers that can put you back together stitch by stitch if you go and get yourself pulled into pieces." If there were, they might have been able to regrow Thor's eye.
I have you, Thor thought.
Anger flashed in Loki's eyes, as if he'd caught the thought. But the hands that drew symbols of healing on Thor's skin with fingertips dipped in magic were steady and warm with concern. A shower of green light and suddenly Thor felt he could breathe easier – his chest heaved as he took the chance to fill his lungs to capacity, nearly lightheaded with relief.
"Easy," Loki instructed, pushing down with his palm on Thor's chest, forcing him to breathe more softly. "Don't get excited, you'll puncture the lung again. I'm not done yet."
"Thank you…"
"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Loki frowned, for all the world he'd appear utterly annoyed, but Thor saw the apprehension beneath it. "The only reason I fixed it first was, because I figured you can't afford to lose any more brain cells due to oxygen deprivation."
Thor smiled. Loki talked too much. His brother's words as harsh as they were told only half the story. Half the picture. Thor flashed back to another thing his father had said – 'Even with two eyes, you only ever saw half of the picture.' He breathed shallowly, obediently as he watched Loki work.
"I can hear you thinking, stop," Loki demanded a moment later. "It's ruining my concentration."
Thor grinned. Loki had come for him. The savior of Asgard, indeed. He'd mourned his brother for years. That was how his friendship with Jane had fallen apart – she'd told him that she refused to compete with a ghost. That made him think of how he'd nearly lost Loki again tonight. He hadn't known if his brother made it off Asgard before it was destroyed. A part of him had known that after all the false deaths, this couldn't be the one true time, but that fear – of losing someone that dear to him – it wasn't something that could be rationalized away. He saw Loki's eyes narrow and between one breath and the next the darkness of sleep took him.
When he woke, he had no sense of how much time had passed. Darkness was absolute and timeless in space. But he was not worried. Sometime during his sleep he'd turned on his stomach, and warm, familiar weight covered his back. He took a moment to enjoy the easy stride of oxygen to and from his lungs, the heat of the body holding him, and thanked the Norns for this precious gift.
He turned in the arms that let him go too easily, and found that Loki was already awake. "You're still here," he said with the sort of amazement that should be insulting, but was just so grateful that it washed away any implied doubt.
"You're alive," Loki remarked dryly, he'd moved away from Thor when Thor woke, but he was still within arm's reach.
"You healed me," Thor replied easily. Affection in his tone was laced by some even deeper sentiment. It was like with his simple words he tried to show Loki an even simpler truth.
Loki rolled his eyes. "You stink enough when you're alive, I wouldn't want to wake up to a…," Loki's words disappeared into a surprised, undignified squeak when Thor silenced him by kissing him.
Loki's hands found their way in Thor's short locks. His nails softly scraped against the scalp, massaging him. Small breaths escaped between soft kisses that lifted every now and then as Thor turned to kiss the side of Loki's mouth, his nose, his eyes. Passion tightly reigned by affection and love. There was no hurry in his gentle assault.
"I missed you," Thor's admission was heartfelt without a hint of accusation. He was leaned over his brother, their legs tangled together. He brushed a long strand of hair away from Loki's face. The tenderness of the gesture betrayed the depth of his feelings and fears just like his confession before.
"I know," Loki replied softly. Heaviness in his gaze. He couldn't address everything that Thor laid before him – whether spoken or unspoken. But Thor made no demands – not on his affection, presence or loyalty. Thor asked for nothing. And perhaps that was why Loki felt he could make a promise, if only for now. "I'm here."
