Wherever He May Go
By whitelonewolf
Summery: Inspired by 'Wherever You Will Go' by The Calling. Set somewhere between 4.17-22. Cas slowly realises just how far he will go for Dean. Can be seen as Slash but it's not intended that way. I've read a lot of Fan fic's that say that Cas is Dean's Angel, so I figured 'What about Cas? Could Dean just be his human?'.
Deep blue eyes watched, contemplative, as two brothers entered a run down motel room. He did not know what had compelled him to keep returning to the brothers so continuously. Neither knew that he was there, they often didn't. He only made his presence known if he needed to alert them to a seal that needed their attention.
He knew he shouldn't be there, knew that his superiors would be questioning him when he returned, but he had to know, had to make sure.
He watched as the brothers shuffled about the room before the older one, shorter one, the one with the sharp green eyes that were drawn in weariness and despair, flung himself down onto one of the beds and shut his eyes. After a few minutes of silence the younger brother turned out the light and carefully, quietly left the motel room.
That was when he moved. Tan trench coat ruffling as he moved out from the shadows and entered the motel room silently and invisibly. He would not be seen, even if the wary hunter woke.
"Castiel." Came a sharp demanding voice.
Again Castiel was reminded of how he should not be there, but when the hunter let out a small almost inaudible whimper, Castiel was reminded of why he always returned. Pressing two fingers to the hunter's head Castiel was satisfied to see the hunter relax and knew that no more nightmares of Hell were troubling the man. This was why he needed to be there when his charge fell asleep. He could not seem to concentrate on anything else without knowing that the hunter was peaceful in rest.
"Castiel!" Another, more demanding call had Castiel leaving the motel room and returning to his brethren with just a final glance at the now calm Dean Winchester.
He had been reprimanded. He had been told that his visits to the Winchester's were improper, unnecessary. He had been told to only see them when it was absolutely needed. He had been told that Angels did not attach themselves to humans. They were above that. And if he, Castiel, could not remember that, than Dean would be removed from his charge and Castiel would be placed at a different post.
The thought made Castiel's stomach tighten. It was a strange sensation. He knew that Angels were capable of feeling, yet he also knew that it was rare and hard to achieve. It made his heart ache and fists clench to think of Dean alone in some dingy hotel, while his brother crept out behind his back to consort in demon relations, leaving his older brother to suffer his nightmares alone.
It made Castiel wonder, with narrowed eyes, stiff shoulders and clenched jaw, who would take his place, if they would be kind to the man who had already suffered so much, if they would be able to take away the shadows from Dean's face, if only for a few hours, to allow the human some peaceful hours of slumber before he had to rise and fight another day of darkness.
Somehow Castiel knew that he felt jealous to think of Dean looking to some other Angel for help. He knew it was selfish, but Castiel wanted to be the only one who watched over Dean. They had known Dean was to be their saviour, just as they had known that Sam was to bring upon the Apocalypse. Just as Castiel had always been the one who would receive the task of watching over the young savour.
And he had, right from the beginning. He watched, understanding why it had to be Dean, as the boy sacrificed every happiness for that of others, no matter how big – following his father's orders, looking after Sam when he was just a child himself – or small – giving up his share of the cereal because Sam had asked for it – Dean had always put others before himself.
His self sacrificing nature had opened something up inside of Castiel, and the Angel found himself slowly experiencing all sorts of emotions.
And he wondered, would Dean even accept another Angel? Would Dean be able to handle another instability in his life? Could Dean – after Hell, after all he and Castiel had been through together – make it on his own?
Castiel fought against his restraints, fought against the silence and the noise and the orders until he realised, the only way to return to his task, the only way to return to earth, the only way to return to Dean was to lie.
He made his face blank, he listened to the stories they told him, he took the punishment and the beating and the pressure on his grace, he did not argue when they told him that God was no longer in the picture, he agreed that the right course of action to achieve paradise was to let Sam Winchester release Lucifer – although inside he screamed that it was all wrong, wrong, wrong. He convinced them that he was obedient all the while praying to a God that no longer answered his calls, to help him find a way back someday. Back to Dean. Back to watching, guiding Dean through the darkest days of his life. Praying that someone, anyone, Angel or human, would take him back to earth, back to Dean.
He closed his vast blue eyes for the briefest of moments before turning back to look at Dean. He knew the words he had to say, after all, he didn't want to return to his task only to be whisked away to be punished again. That didn't mean it hurt any less.
Inside he was once again screaming, begging for Dean to see the truth in his eyes, rather than the lies in his words, praying that Dean would see his hope, his heart, his love and take it, run away with it and keep it safe. Because Castiel thought that if Dean had his heart and hope and love, than it wouldn't break with his next words.
"I learnt my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve heaven, I don't serve man… and I certainly don't serve you." Castiel turned away from the confused and hurt expression in Dean's eyes feeling a pain squeezing at his insides, worse than any he had ever felt before.
Somehow, he managed to leave without apologising, without giving away his true intentions, his true loyalties. Hoping that Dean would be able to forgive him, hoping that Dean would keep Castiel in his heart and mind and keep him there forever.
He could not explain the way it hurt when Dean punched him. It was not a physical pain from the blow, but rather a sharp jab at his heart with the knowledge that Dean was still very angry with Castiel, and right about the Angel's intentions, and right to feel angry. It made him feel hopeless and lost – not at all familiar emotions. He left Dean, knowing that if he could, if he was not bound by orders, he would follow Dean without hesitation.
It was then, standing alone that he realised the truth in that knowledge. He was not bound by orders any longer, Zacharias had admitted it himself – God was not the one issuing orders anymore and Castiel served God, not other Angel's, no matter how superior than him they were. He would follow Dean, he would go where the hunter went, no matter where it was, Castiel would follow.
With those thoughts he returned to Dean, he released the hunter from the Angelic cell he had been imprisoned in, and sent him to find his brother, only staying behind to hold off the Arch Angel who would no doubt try to stop them.
And he knew it then, as he waited for the wrath of a higher being to rain down on him and the prophet Chuck, that he really would risk everything. He would endure the pains of Hell to find him – and already had – and if Dean was thrown back down there, Castiel would follow, and rescue him again. He would fight against the Angels of Heaven who no longer served the path of God – again, he already had – and he would do it again if Dean requested it so.
If he could have turned back time on his own, with his own powers, there was no doubt in Castiel's mind, that he would have followed Dean sooner. He would have risked Falling for his human.
Because when it came down to it, Dean was Castiel's Human, and Castiel was Dean's Angel. And a Guardian Angel, goes wherever his Human goes.
Wherever You Will Go
So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone could you make it on your own.
CHORUS:
If I could, then I would
I'd go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go
And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Well then I hope there's someone out there
who can bring me back to you
CHORUS
If I could, then I would
I'd go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go
Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of time
CHORUS
If I could, then I would
I'd go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'd go wherever you will go
If I could turn back time
I'd go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'd go wherever you will go
I'd go wherever you will go
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are the feathers of Angel's wings left behind to let us know they care.
Ruby