I Said I'd Break you Out
Summary: Alternate ending for "Probable Cause". Grab you tissues, guys, major character death.
Disclaimer: I don't even want them. Andrew is handling them perfectly.
She felt the bullets rocket out of her gun before she registered pulling the trigger. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. She sent them flying ahead. No warning, no obligatory shout to Tyson to "freeze", he didn't deserve it. She felt her vision narrow to a single point on his chest and she fired. No second thoughts. No mercy. Not to him. Not to the man who nearly ripped away everything she'd fought so hard for. Not to the man who thought he was powerful enough to take Castle from her.
Tyson snapped back sharply under the unyielding force of Kate's firepower, falling onto the car seat behind him. Kate didn't bother to check his pulse. The blood seeping from the car onto the pavement was all the satisfaction she needed.
"Kate." Someone was whispering. "Baby, you gotta get up."
She slowly blinked her eyes open in confusion. Where was she? She was just on the bridge. Tyson found them as they were leaving to clear Castle's name and it was ugly and rough, but…she was just there, what the hell? Her hand stretched out to help her to sit and only left her more confused when it was met with Castle's plush comforter. Where was Castle? The person waking her was definitely female…
"Lanie?" Kate asked groggily. "What're you doing here? Where's Castle?"
The medical examiner's face crumbled for a moment before she forced herself to look at her friend again. Kate simply blinked in expectation of a response.
"Kate, sweetie, it's Friday." Lanie spoke softly. Kate stared, still apparently uncomprehending. "You have to get dressed," she paused, "we have to go."
"Lanie, what're you talking about…" Kate's voice died in her throat as she took in her friend's attire. A black skirt and black shirt shrouded the usually boisterous woman and she held a thick black coat in her other arm. For the first time, she really looked at Lanie and noticed her eyes were red with days of grief.
No.
No, it wasn't possible. She solved it. She fixed it. She killed Tyson for crying out loud. And Rick –
Rick wasn't there with her on the bridge that night. That was a dream.
"Lanie…" Kate choked.
He wasn't there because he couldn't have been. He wasn't there because she wasn't strong enough. She wasn't smart enough. She couldn't figure it out fast enough.
"Oh God, Lanie!" The hand resting on Castle's comforter clenched in agony as reality came rushing back to her.
At the end of the day, she'd done it. An unexpected break lead them to the abandoned building and they found it all: the plaster hand, the photographs, the casting notice. Castle was free.
Kate barely waited for Gates to arrive on scene and give the all clear before she ran down to her cruiser. As her fingers grasped the door handle though, she heard a uni call out.
"Detective Beckett! Detective Beckett, wait!"
She spun around impatiently; she had no time for rookie questions. Instead of the expected onslaught though, the nervous officer simply handed her a phone. She looked up questioningly, but the look in the young officer's eyes told her he really had no clue what was going on.
"Beckett." She answered.
"Detective Beckett, this is Officer Hennson at central booking."
Kate's heart stopped. No.
"I'm sorry to inform you, but earlier, one of your murder suspects was killed in his cell, a" he paused as if rifling through papers for the name "Richard Castle? He was yours, right, 'cause someone's gonna have to come down here and collect the body…"
The phone fell with a crash to the pavement.
Officer Hennson called to her on the forgotten receiver, but she didn't hear.
She failed.
She was too late.
She promised him she'd get him out and she failed.
She would never see his smile at the precinct again.
She would never slide her fingers against his as he handed her coffee.
She would never wake up in his arms again.
She would never… she would never tell him she loved him.
She never told him.
Kate felt her fingers rip the door of the cruiser open, and the rest of the night was a blur.
"Lanie, I can't." Kate sobbed. "I can't do this."
"You have to do this." Lanie tried through her own tears. "You know he needs you there."
"I can't look at them after I let them down!" Kate rasped. Lanie didn't have to ask who they were. Kate had essentially been hibernating in Castle's bedroom for four days doing her best to avoid the other grieving members of the family.
"You listen to me, Katherine Beckett, you did not let them down, do you hear me?" Kate continued to bury her face into the mattress. "You did everything you could to save him!" Lanie was nearly yelling now, but Kate still couldn't hear her.
"But I promised him I'd get him out." She cried. "I should've done it. I should've just broken him out of holding."
"You know that never would've worked, Kate." Lanie assured. "And I think you know he doesn't blame you any more than any of us do."
Kate sat up gingerly, tears caking her face.
"I miss him so much, Lanie." She barely whispered.
Lanie caught her as she fell into her tears once more.
Castle's funeral was today. Exactly one week before his and Kate's three-month anniversary.
He'd bought her jewelry.
I don't even know where the hell this came from. I was just sitting here reading fluff and writing my paper and all of a sudden my subconscious was all 'here's the worst feelz you've ever had', so I wrote this. I won't say I hope you enjoyed because that's sadistic, but please review! I love you guys!