Frozen
A Riku Songfic
"I'm not afraid of the darkness!"
With those words to my best friend, I stepped into the pool of swirling darkness. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't what I found.
I found myself in a void, where I couldn't tell up from down, left from right…
Or right from wrong.
It was a world of darkness. Of dark grey.
I let myself drown in the eternal darkness.
I can't feel my senses… I just feel the cold.
All colors seem to fade away; I can't reach my soul.
"Well, well, well. What have we here?" a sinister voice called from within the abyss.
"Who are you?: I called out, desperate to escape the fathomless pit in which I was trapped.
"I… am Maleficent. Who are you boy? What business have you in the realm of darkness?"
"None of your business." I snapped angrily, suddenly defensive.
"Perhaps I could help you, if only you would tell me who you are looking for…"
"Y-you know where Sora is?" slipped out before I could stop myself.
"Ah… so you are looking for someone. Who is this 'Sora'? A girl perhaps?"
"A friend."
"Hmmm…. I could help you. For a price."
/Does she know where Sora and Kairi are?/
I wasn't sure that I should take that chance.
I would stop running if I knew there was a chance
It tears me apart to sacrifice it all
But I'm forced to let go
"Okay." I braced myself and began to tell her my story. Everything, from my feelings for Kairi to my jealousy toward Sora, was revealed to this mysterious stranger.
"I sense great power in you, boy. Come. Taste darkness." she extended a green hand, and I sealed my fate.
Tell me I'm frozen, but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons. I did it for you.
* * *
/Kairi… Sora… Where are you?/
I sat up, having been unconscious for who knows how long.
"Where am I?" I wondered aloud, examining my surroundings. I was on a large floating rock-platform, and there were several more surrounding me. I jumped from one to the other, heading for the looming castle up ahead.
"Hello, boy." Maleficent greeted me at the entrance. "I have much for you to do."
"No! I don't want or need your help! I want to find Sora and Kairi so we can go home. Together."
"Sora doesn't need you anymore. He's not even looking for you." she scoffed in response.
"You're lying."
"See for yourself."
* * *
"You see? It's just as I told you." Maleficent gloated. As she began to rant, I began thinking, tuning her out.
/Sora… How can it be true? How can you just abandon Kairi like that?/ But I knew that wasn't what was bothering me.
/How could you abandon me?/
When lies turn into truth, I would sacrifice for you
You say that I'm frozen, but what can I do?
* * *
"Kairi!" I ran toward the girl in the glass case, staring in disbelief when I realized she wasn't breathing. "No…"
"You! What have you done to her?" I demanded angrily, turning to face the witch.
"I have done nothing." she shrugged. "However, you can save her."
"What? How?"
"I can give you power beyond your wildest dreams. A power that even your so-called friend Sora could never rival."
/Kairi… I'm sorry. I don't know what else to do. I'll save you. I promise./
"What would you have me do?"
I can feel your sorrow
(I sacrifice)
You won't forgive me, but I know you'll be alright.
It tears me apart that you will never know
But I have to let go.
Tell me I'm frozen, but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons; I did it for you
As I spent the next few months, changing and growing more and more powerful, I remembered. I remembered things I'd rather forget.
"We'll always be together! No matter what!" a young Sora declared, taking the hands of his two best friends.
"Sora, we all have to grow up…" I shook my head sadly.
"Yeah… but we'll still be close, right?"
"Yeah. Of course!" Kairi smiled. "I'll make sure we do!"
"Me too!" Sora grinned excitedly. They both turned to me, attempting to use their optimism to melt my pessimistic doubts. Fighting back negativity, I forced a smile.
"You guys know I'd do anything for you." A lie to get them off my back.
I grimaced as I realized how true my lip service was.
When lies turn into truth, I would sacrifice for you
You say that I'm frozen, but what can I do?
* * *
I stood facing my best friend. After I had robbed him of everything, he still fought to regain his Keyblade and his friends. I had to wonder… /Why?/
As I saw the look on his face when Kairi was mentioned, I knew.
It was because he loved her.
I didn't know what I was doing, but I found the darkness egging me on.
We fought. I lost.
/Sora… I'm so sorry./ I knelt on the ground in my room, gasping for breath, sobs of fear tearing through my body. /I don't even know who I am anymore… All I want is to save Kairi, yet I'm losing myself. I wanted power, so I could be strong enough to save her. To save both of you. But, I made the wrong choice. I'm not good enough to save anyone. I can't even save myself. I've never felt so weak… so powerless./
"I can help you." a deep voice echoed through my mind. "You're looking at it all wrong. Darkness can help you. Let it in. Embrace it… let it take over… think of the power you could have."
"Who are you?" I asked.
"Ansem. Seeker of Darkness."
"If I… accept this power… What's in it for you?"
"I would have you open Kingdom Hearts."
"But that's… No! I'll never help you!"
"Too late boy. You're my vessel now."
I felt something overcome me. Intense darkness, and I felt myself fading.
Everything will slip away;
Shattered pieces will remain
When memories fade into emptiness
Only time will tell its tale
If it all has been in vain
* * *
"No! I won't let you use me to harm my friends!" I snapped awake, fighting back as hard as I could to regain power over my body. Ansem stumbled, slipped for the briefest of moments.
I can't feel my senses. I just feel the cold…
"Riku!" Sora exclaimed with his torn emotions showing on his face.
"Get out of here, Sora. I can't… I can't hold back much longer!"
"I won't leave you!"
"GO!"
Frozen
What can I do?
Frozen
I watched, in an out of body experience, as Ansem used me. He almost killed Sora on several occasions. The kicker?
/It was all my fault./
I had given into the darkness because I wanted to protect my friends. And now, when they needed me most, I wasn't strong enough to stop him.
/My best friends are in danger… and it's all my fault."
Tell me I'm frozen…
But what can I do?
Kairi.
Was she safe? Was Sora able to save her from her doll-like trance? Would I ever see her again?
Can't tell the reasons
I did it for you
"Kingdom Hearts! Fill me with the power of darkness!" Ansem shouted, using my body to open the door. "Darkness is the heart's true essence."
"No! You're wrong!" Sora fought. "The heart may be weak, and sometimes it may even give in. But I've learned that deep down, there's a light that never goes out."
/Is that true? Is there really a light in the deepest darkness? Even for me?/
"I know now, that Kingdom Hearts is light!"
As the door opened, light flooded out, blinding us in its whiteness.
When lies turn into truth…
I felt myself returning to how I was the day I left. I returned to the form of the naïve boy, yet I knew that his darkness would be with me forever. I was no longer the boy of those times, and I could never go back.
I stepped behind the door, and called out to my friend.
I would sacrifice for you
"Riku, no! You'll be trapped." Sora protested. I merely shook my head sadly.
You say that I'm frozen
"Take care of her."
Frozen