I just want to say, I fought like a wounded mama cheetah to make this upload! Un-beta'd and this is my first time formatting on FF so any mistakes are mine, and I'd appreciate your pointing them out to me. To all those who read, PLEASE FEED ZE KITTY! KITTY IS HUNGRY FOR YUMMY REVIEWS! In all seriousness, this is my first time so be gentle, I'm still pure. :D Okay, okay...I'm gone.
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Pirates of the Caribbean or the lovely actors and actresses that make it happen. However, I would like to own Penelope Cruz's wonderbra, because that thing is FANTASTIC!
Angelica Teach sat under a palm tree on the tiny God-forsaken island Jack Sparrow left her to rot on, stewing in her even more recent heartbreak. Well, heartbreak is a harsh word. What she was really feeling was closer to severe disappointment. She couldn't really call it heartbreak since he had admitted to loving her. At least, she thought he did…. One could never tell with Jack and his ridiculous word-play. Try as she might, she still couldn't understand why he would leave her twice when they obviously had something in the air between them.
He had saved her from the poison and Angelica had never doubted he would. She stared in horror at the oozing red line across her palm as the words "It's poisoned" echoed through her shocked mind, and all she could do was look up at the man standing over her and say his name. Even as she lay with a rough rock slab under her back and the poison coursing through her veins, there was never a doubt in her mind that Jack would find a way to save her. He also saved her from her father whether she liked it or not.
The blame would have to lie with his adventurous spirit and inability to ever remain in one place for any length of time. Did he actually consider her a burden? The idea was ridiculous; she had many times proven herself just as capable a pirate as he was!
Jack Sparrow's true reasoning for anything would always be one of life's great mysteries, but she'd vow to track him down again some way, somehow. The problem with her new manifesto was her current inability to get herself off said island. She dropped her head to stare at her lap. Sure, Jack said these were well traveled waters, but what was she supposed to do until a ship happened by? Ah, well, she considered herself to be a very patient person and could lie in wait as long as needed. Besides, it was a very beautiful day to be marooned on a tropical isle.
Her gaze lifted to the surging tide at the edge of the white sand. Her eyes fell upon a dark spot floating there; small, but still large enough to be easily viewed from her place several yards up the beach. Her interest mounted as she discerned a red tint to one end of it. She stood and walked over to where it bobbed in the few inches of water captured in a pitted out patch of sand. Angelica recognized the small yet realistic voodoo doll of Jack as she scooped it up gently in her hand. She stood there in the bright tropical sunlight smirking and thinking of a myriad of ways to infuriate Captain Jack Sparrow with just a few scraps of cloth and some highly potent black magic.
Angelica's plotting was cut short, however, as the sun began to fall and she realized she would need to make a fire and find something to eat as well as finding a place to sleep. Help might come tomorrow, but tonight she'd have to do for herself. She found a few coconuts in the outer trees as well as some older and sufficiently dry driftwood for her fire. After piling and struggling to light it under her chosen palm-tree, she ate the insides of her coconuts and stared at the small voodoo doll while thinking some more about a proper torture for Jack Sparrow. She didn't really want to hurt him with it. He deserved it, but roasting his miniature head off would not be beneficial to her cause. Inspiration struck, though, and she went scrambling up the beach for a tool to use in his destruction. She quickly returned with a blade of grass in hand.
During the…illustrious activities she had engaged in with him that led to her not taking her vows, she had discovered a few spots Jack could hardly stand to be touched. Angelica gently stripped the doll of its coat before just barely swiping the blade of grass along the doll's left side. She paused a second before repeating it on the doll's other side. She then moved on the its little booted feet. She picked up speed, alternating sides and feet until she was flipping the doll rapidly in hand until she tired of her game. Then, Angelica laid down and fell asleep with a happy smile.
Captain Jack Sparrow and his first mate, Mister Gibbs, found themselves in Tortuga after a very interesting experience involving a crossbow, hourglass, three goats, and one Joshamee Gibbs playing the trumpet. Jack suspected his hands might never again be the same after the urgent flourishing he'd had to do. Gibbs complained similarly about his lips. The Pearl was recovered nonetheless, and they felt no guilt in celebrating over two tankards filled to the brim with the worst rotgut rum Tortuga had to offer. Not that either of them would have felt guilt otherwise; in fact, neither of them had ever felt anything close to guilt where rum was concerned. Both of them were well acquainted with the pleasure rum could bring in a dark, clouded room with 100 other sopping drunk pirates on break.
"So, what did you do with the lady?" Gibbs asked Jack across the barely lit table they were currently occupying.
"What lady would you be referring to, Mister Gibbs? If you'd be finding yourself in the mood for some company of the feminine persuasion, there are quite a few acceptable specimens in this fine establishment!" the good captain announced with a flourish.
"That's not what I meant," replied Gibbs. He was more than well acquainted with the ways of Jack.
"I'm sorry, my good fellow. Were you meaning to go searching for some other specimens? You might be right in doing that," Jack said before leaning closer. "Between you and myself, I'm not convinced that all of these lovely ladies are indeed ladies."
"Actually, the lady I was referring to would be the good Miss Teach."
Jack tried to play distracted.
"Who was that?"
Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"Miss Angelica." Jack choked on his mouth-full of rum making the mutton-chopped man quite sure he had in fact heard the name.
"I'm sorry, who was that? I'm afraid I can't quite hear you." Jack cupped a hand around his ear as though he were hard of hearing; in reality, he could have heard a pin drop across town if it would benefit him in some way.
"Angelica! The girl you had feelings fo-ooof!" The rest of Gibbs' sentence was indiscernible around the hand Jack had nearly jumped across the table to clamp over his mouth.
"They were stirrings, not feelings! Stirrings! But I'm sure I have no idea whom you're talkin' about, Mister Gibbs, and I'm quite sure you don't either…that is, assuming you'd like to keep that outstanding display of facial hair you have."
Gibbs quickly held up his hands in surrender to assure the fingers that were slapped across his mouth weren't soon with their owner across the table clutching the hair that was once on his jaws. Jack withdrew to his side and took another steadying sip of his drink.
"You have issues, Jack." He held up his hands again at the look Jack shot him.
The pair quickly finished their drinks and made their way into the street. The sun had already set, but, being Tortuga, the streets were still filled with much merry-making and no soldiers. Jack and Gibbs strolled down the street enjoying the night.
"Anything else you'd like to do before headin' back to the Pearl, Captain?"
"Actually I thought we might-BAHAHAHA!" Jack slapped both hands over his mouth.
"Are you okay, Jack?" Gibbs looked at the man beside him who was busy spinning around to look behind him and lifting his right arm to look under his coat. Finding nothing there, he rubbed his side hard before lowering his coat back into place.
"Oh, ummm…yes, quite fine," Jack replied when he realized Gibbs had spoken. "Thought I might have a buggy in my coa-AHHHHH!" Jack resumed his search under his coat, only on his left side this time.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Gibbs asked in concern.
"I'm fine! Did you touch me?" Jack rounded on Gibbs with irritation.
"No, Jack! I've been over here the whole time." Indeed, Gibbs was as far away as the narrow street would allow.
"That's strange. I could've sworn I felt-YEKKK!"
"What on this flat Earth be wrong with ye, Jack?" Gibbs stared as Jack ripped his overcoat off and flung in on the ground.
"Come here ya creepy! I'll be scraping you off my boot soon enou-HAAAAA! Blasted thing crawled into my boots! My boots, Mr. Gibbs!"
"Does it hurt that badly?" Gibbs yelled over another one of Jacks shrieks while the afflicted man tore his boots from his feet.
"It doesn't hurt, man! It…it…TICKLES!" Jack tore off his remaining shirt and vest while clawing at his sides.
"Jack, Jack! There's nothing there!"
"Yes, there IS!" Jack's body bent into a sick contortion with the last word as another soul-crushing itch ran across his right ribs. Unable to take it anymore, he dove head first into a water barrel sitting at the corner of the nearest building. The only things left sticking straight up in the air were his trousered legs and bare feet which gave a huge jerk every few seconds as yet more spasms wracked Jacks body.
Gibbs ran over and pulled Jack's drenched body out of the barrel by its legs. Jack gasped for air as he continued to scratch his sides.
"Gibbs! You have to do something! I can't take it anymore!"
"Roll on the ground!" Mr. Gibbs, ever-full of wisdom, pushed the normally composed man down on to the street and looked on in horror. Jack tried to roll back and forth while simultaneously rubbing his body against the rough cobble stones beneath him. A drunken crowd had gathered around to watch the man rolling in the street dressed only in his trousers. Eventually, the itching faded and he lay still except for a few reflexive twitches. The crowd finally faded away, most still bent over laughing at the poor man's plight.
"So, what were you saying we might do?" asked Gibbs, bent and looking over Jack who could only stare at the night sky in horror.
Just after daylight, Angelica woke to the sound of rowing. Her still asleep mind was confused; there was no way a passing ship would have spotted her without her flagging them down. After she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, she noticed a ship far in the distanced and as an after-thought, she noticed a smaller row boat rowing towards the island. As it neared, she recognized the head of hair approaching and immediately fell into raucous laughter.
"Yes, yes. It's quite funny." Jack said in a not-so-amused voice as he hopped out of the small boat. Angelica laughed so hard, she fell off her feet and could only lie on the sand and laugh at Jack's indignant expression.
"It's not that funny, love," he said as he walked past her lying flat on her back in the sand while clutching her stomach. Ignoring her delirious screams, he walked straight to the ashes of her campfire where his miniature replica lay. He scooped it up in his hand before spinning on his heel, passing her again and climbing back into his boat. At the sound of him climbing back into the vessels, she immediately stopped laughing and raised her head to look at him.
"Wha- Jack, no!" She stumbled to her feet and ran towards his boat, but he was already rowing away.
"Jack, you can't do this to me! Please, Jack," she pleaded.
"Sorry, love. You're just too smart for my own good!" Jack called out as Angelica Teach began to scream at his retreating form in Spanish.
So how was it? I might consider continuing it if the response is good. I'd like to see what happens when Angelica tracks Jack down this time... Please, FEED ZE KITTY on your way out, Lovelies!
XOXO, Bliss