I heard this song again the other day and thought it was very fitting for Ranger. The song is "When can I see you again" by Babyface
When Can I see you Again?
When can my heart beat again
When does the pain ever end
Ranger stared out his office window his eyes searching for her apartment. Would she be there or did she go back to the cop again? Was she home with that little rat watching ghostbusters for the hundreth time. He could just picture her now hidden under a blanket and eating a carten of Karma Sutra. When all else fails his Babe could always eat and the world was definitely failing her now. After the this latest incident he had wanted to beg her to stay. To open his heart and let her in, to ask her to never leave, to choose him, to stay with him. Was she ready for their someday yet?
Ranger let out a long sigh, what a mess he had made of their lives with all of his mysteriousness. He pulled her in just to simply push her away again when it felt like she was getting too close but this time something was different. When she had packed up her bag and looked at him over her shoulder he felt his heart tear into peices. How could she not know what she meant to him? Couldn't she see that everything he did he did for her?
No because he never told her. He danced around the subject and qualified his love with "in my own way" and stupid lines like " my life doesn't lend itself to relationships". God that one was a joke how could she not see the relationship they had now? Could she not feel his love for her in his every touch.
When do the tears stop from running over
When does you'll get over it begin
I hear what you're saying
But I swear that it's not making sense
So when can I see you
She had been the first one he thought of to help when his trouble at Rangeman started. The only one he trusted, more than Tank more than Lester his Babe was his best friend. Their relationship meant more to him than all the money and all the damm cars in the world. Who cares what she blew up as long as he could see that sparkle in her I and hear her beautiful voice say " it wasn't my fault" one more time. His apartment was empty without her. She brought light into his life and a joy into his heart. The zen he had once found in his peaceful oasis now mocked him. There were no shoes flung across the floor no bottles of hair products lined across his counter he even missed the sound of that darn rat squeaking in his wheel. The empty bed glared at him now from the doorway. It was late, past 2 am and yet he coudn't bring himself to climb into bed. Not the bed he had shared with her. Not where he had held her close, where he could still hear her infectious giggle. He picked up her pillow and inhaled deeply. God he was so far gone he could still smell her around him. Why did she have to leave?
When can I see you again
When can my heart beat again
When can I see you again
When can I breathe once again
And when can I see you
He grabbed a change of clothes and carried the pillow down to a his office he could sleep on the couch for the night. He knew his men might be watching but his heart was aching and there were just too many memories in his bed right now. He'd head down to the office and sleep for the night. When he woke in the morning he would be able to move past this obsession, this need to see her, feel her. Thats what he kept telling himself they just needed space and soon the memories would fade. He could go back to his life and fall into his zone again. Stephanie always joked that he had a blank face well now he would have a blank life. Thats all he was without her he was just an empty shell, half the man he should be, without her nothing mattered. How long could he keep doing this to himself he wondered as he tossed and turned and caressed her pillow.
When does my "someday" begin
When I'll find someone again
And what if I still am not truly over
What am I supposed to do then, babe...
Do you see what I'm saying
Even if, if it's not making sense
So when can I see you
God he needed to see her he thought the nights were bad but waking up without her there was pure torture. He imagined he could still feel her warmth around him. Hold her tight in his arms and wake up to a riot of curls all over his shoulder. He needed to feel her, had to hold her but she chose to leave and Ranger knew he couldn't make her stay. God he had wanted her too. There time together was never enough. As he made his way back down to the office after his shower and workout his men seemed a little more subdued everything was quiet almost hushed. Usually the control room was busy with men in and out and calls being recieved from all his field agents but the mood in the office was quiet, remorseful. They missed her light as well. He meant it when he said she was important to all of them. She loved his men unconditionally she accepted them at once for who they were and was barely intimidated by their size or skills they were just merry men to her and they needed her light almost as much as he did.
When can I see you again
When can my heart beat again
When can I see you again
And when can I breathe once again
And when can I see you... again
Ranger skipped over the break room he couldn't go in there and not hear her voice, see her smile as she teased Bobby over his new girl or fought with Lester for the last bagel. She had only been gone fifteen hours but it felt like fifteen days to him. He headed down to the garage. Maybe he could make it into the office and pick up any skips before he ran into her. He didn't think he could stand to see her so soon. The pain on his face would be clear for her too see. She could always read him even with all his training to shut off his emotions, she knew him too well. That was one of the reasons he knew they belonged together no one else read him like she did, he could even feel when she entered a room. They had always had a bond, a connection and now his body was crying out to him for his other half, needing to feel her to sense her to know she was okay.
Yeah, baby
Do you see what I'm saying
Even if, if it's not making sense, baby
So when can I see you again
He grabbed his set of keys and climbed on the elevator. As the doors close the man that stared back at him was a tattered shred of what he should be. Dios how could he be so wrapped up in one little white girl from the burg. He could still picture her next to him. See her slight form curled against his strong frame, her head tucked under his chin as she whispered all the Rangeman gossip to him. The shiny mirrored doors mocked him this morning the picture so vivid in his mind his body began to hum as if she was really there. No he turned his head away. She had left said she needed time to think, to decide what to do next. He had offered her to stay full time at Rangeman to move into an apartment and be one step closer to his life. He had tried to bring her closer to him but had failed and now his shredded heart was paying the consequences. As the doors dinged open he looked out into the dark garage noting it fit his mood today.
When can I see you again
Can my heart beat again, baby
When can I see you again
As he stepped off the elevator the low level hum he had felt began to grow to a full on buzz. His memories were still taunting him, with a sad shake of his head he turned and headed for his porsche remembering how she had purred when she climbed into the supple leather seats. He walked forward face downcast heart in turmoil until he saw them, a beat up pair of sneakers attached to faded blue jeans. Slim waist met with a black t shirt with- yes he saw it right- his name on her breast. His eyes continued their journing up finding a riot of soft curls cascading down her shoulders and a set of soft pink lips he knew so well. He chanced a glance at her eyes knowing they were the windows to her soul and his heart jumped with what he saw there. All the breath left his body as he stared into this azure orbs.
And when can I breathe once again
And when can I see, babe, again
There was love shinging throught her crystal clear blue eyes and hope and something entirely new, determination. This was his Babe on a mission a woman he knew what she wanted. He couldn't help but growl when he saw her there leaning agains her car waiting for him. Now the quiet of the control room made sense they had known she was here and waiting for him but why? He held his breath and asked "Babe?" he meant to question her but it came out sounding more like a whispered prayer. His lips had spoke her name so fervently. It was then he noticed the bags in her car and Rex on the front seat.
"Carlos I spent the whole night thinking of you, my apartment was empty and my bed was so lonely without you in it. When I woke up this morning I rolled over and for the first time in weeks couldn't see your beautiful face. I know your life doesn't lend itself to relationships but thats what we have wether you see it or not. I'm not letting you go not this time, you can't push me out anymore, I love you Carlos Manoso and I'll stay right here until I can see you again." She ended her speach and chewed on her bottom lip, it was the cutest little habit and it drew his eyes directly to those soft pink lips the doorway to his nirvana. He shook his head at the two of them were they ever gonna get this right?
"Babe I coudn't even go home last night it was so empty without you, I coudn't breathe without you. I'm ready, today is our someday, but once you come upstairs with me you won't be leaving I can't loose you again." He spoke from his heart knowing that this time he was playing for keeps this game of cat and mouse had worn him down and last nights turmoil had shown him clearly that a life without her was no life at all.
He held his hand out and she placed her small hand in his. As he pulled her body closer to him she answered with the most brilliant thing he'd ever heard.
"I'm yours Carlos for as long as you'll have me. Te amo, Carlos, te amo." She told him and the love in her eyes shown through and lit the walls around him as he felt his heart expand and tighten in his chest would this woman of his ever quit suprising him?
"Te amo Babe, forever I'll never get enough. Te amo Steph" and with that he picked her up and carried her up the elevator and home, for thats where he was when he was with her. He knew that now. She was his life and he planned to hold on to her for as long as she would let him. Forever, she had said she was his forever. To think just this morning he thought he might never see her again. He carried her straight to their bed we he proceeded to show her again and again just how much he loved her.
Wanna see you again
Again...