"Girl is Mine"


Perhaps it was because it was the night of the Garden Festival. Or maybe because someone had been listening to too many 80's pop songs. Either way, no one was prepared when Seifer smiled at Rinoa, and beckoned her to come onto the stage. He'd been back in the Garden for a year now, and had repaired many of his past relationships. While he and Squall would most likely never be *friends* ... So, upon calling her to the stage, was like signing his own death warrant. No one messed with the commander's girlfriend. Period.
However, Seifer was not looking at her as the music began to play. His emerald gaze was on someone in the back, just over Rinoa's head.
"Every night she walks right in my dreams...
Since I met her from the start...I'm so proud I am the only one... Who is special in her heart..."
A nice smooth tenor. (As usual.) Rinoa flushed, eyes sparking like black diamonds. "Oh, Seifer...."
"Oh Hyne. I'm gonna be sick."
Rinoa whirled around. "You're just jealous! Nyah nyah nyah!!" Rinoa turned back to Seifer, and latched onto his arm. "Ohhh... Seifer...."
"The girl is mine... The doggone girl is Mine...
(You hear me Squall? Mine, mine, mine!!)
I know she's mine... Because the doggone girl is mine..."

Squall appeared, LionHeart gleaming. "Unhand my Girlfriend! She's mine!"
He turned at Irvine's whistle. "WHAT?!" Irvine gulped. "Uh, you're supposed to sing."
Squall slapped his forehead. (D'oh.)
"I don't understand the way you think...
(Actually, none of us do. You're a putz, Seifer.)
Sending roses and your silly dreams....
(On our special day, no less. Jerk.)
Really just a waste of time...
(Or is it... Hmmm.... /Rinoa mentally smacks him/Owwww!)
Because she's mine... (Mine, I love thee, Goddess)
The doggone girl is mine... (Much better, Squall.)
Don't waste your time... Because the doggone girl is Mine...!!!"
He accented this with a mighty slash of the LionHeart. Seifer smirked. "What-ever."
"Hey, that's my line!" Squall pouted. Rinoa detached herself from Seifer, and glomped Squall. "Oh... Squallllllll...."
"I'm not seeing this, I'm not seeing this..."
"Shut up, Quistis! Sore loooseeeerrr!"
Both ex Knight and current Knight sweatdropped. However, they continued on, even as shouts of "Let me up there!" could be heard.
"I love you more than he...
(We have a past, she loves me. She'd never actually fall for puberty boy over there.)
Take you anywhere..."
He grabbed Rinoa from Squall, and did a spiffy little dance number. Squall glowered, snatching her back as he sang the next part.
"But I love you endlessly....
(And won't dump you in the lamp of some she-he.)
Loving We Will Share..."
A pause. He backtracked, trying to get them both away from Seifer.
"So come and go with me... to one town..."
Seifer advanced, singing. "But we both cannot have her... So it's one or the other...."
(All girls: *sigh* She's so lucky, the two of them ... together.... anime style crashing from a few of the guys.)
Squall pointed the tip of his gunblade at him, stopping Seifer from moving to close, and sung.
"And one day you'll discover.... (Yea, right.)
That she's my girl forever and ever....!
(How's ya like those apples, punk?)"
"Oh, Squall? You mean it?"
Rinoa squeezed him till he looked like a Smurf.
Squall: "I don't build your hopes to be let down."
Seifer: "'Cause I really feel it's time."
Squall: "I know she'll tell you I'm the one for her."
Seifer: "'Cause she said I blow her mind."
Pause. Squall shakes her off. "You told him What?!"
"It was a long time ago!"
Seifer pouts. "That's not what you said...."
"Silence!"
Everyone blinks as Seifer finishes whatever he was going to say, but no words come out. He blinks as well, then tries again. Nothing. Rinoa smirks. Quistis quietly casts an Esuna on Seifer, who finishes what he was originally saying. "That's not what you said last week, Rinoa. You said you were gonna leave him for me, after I sang to you."
Large intake of breath from everyone. Squall blinks, then looks at Rinoa. "Is he telling the truth?"
"...Uh... Uhm... But, I love you, Squall! I saved you, after all! He's just a..."
"Whatever."
She watches as he hops off the stage, the returns, Quistis in tow. Both Seifer and Rinoa frown. Once again, Squall sings, in a soft, lovely tone of voice.
"The girl is mine.... (Toodles, Rinoa!)
The doggone girl is mine... (Squall, what are you...?)
Don't waste your time... (Have a nice life.)
Because the doggone girl is mine! (SQUUUAAALLLL!!!)


----
"Quisty? Quistis! Wake up!"
"Huh...?" She was able to make out to fuzzy figures on the TV screen, singing about how the girl was their's.
~ Damn. Just a dream. ~
"How you could fall asleep watching top 80 of the 80's is beyond me. C'mon. You're about to miss the main act. Squall and Seifer are supposed to sing a song together."
Quistis, who had just managed to stand, crashes to the floor. Selphie kneels beside her, worried.
"Quistis? Hello? Quistis!!"




--------
Ok, my first attempt at a humor fic. Sucked, right? _ Well, the idea had been floating around in my head for some time, and I decided to finally type it out. (After seeing a ton where Rinoa + whoever is singing about Squall... ^^ ) Ps, I do like Rinoa. ;P
Disclaimer: Square owns the people, Michael Jackson- the lyrics. My sense of odd (bad, heh) humor is my own, thank you.