After the call with April is abruptly cut short they rush to her house. Raph doesn't need to look at his brothers to know they're all fearing different versions of the worst case scenario. He's the one driving even if he can barely keep his hands from shaking, has to be continuously reminded by a grim looking Leonardo to ease up on the gas to not draw attention to themselves.
They shouldn't have left him even if it was in the capable hands of their human friend. Leaving him at the new lair wasn't an option any longer either. The place was too damp, too cold and too uncomfortable for a sick brother. They were planning on asking April after their mission if it would be okay for Don to stay with her until he was better. Perhaps after seeing the state he was in it wouldn't even be necessary to ask for her help.
Donatello's health had been steadily declining, unbeknownst to everyone until his symptoms were too serious to hide any longer. He always did this, no matter how many lectures about the importance of letting your team know your status to act accordingly or about letting family take care of him for a change. All they ever managed to draw from him was a muttered "I didn't think it was important." or an "I didn't want to bother anyone over this." They'd try to make up for it, be all over him until he felt better and then watch him like a hawk for a time until quiet Donnie faded back into the background where he was more comfortable.
Raphael grits his teeth and clenches his fists as they rush through the back entrance where they parked the Battleshell and follow the distressed voices through the dark house to the damp basement. They find April and Casey trying to talk to a bulky shadow in the corner, hands out and backing away slowly as a growl cuts through their words. The smell of fear permeates the space, combining with the damp and sticking to their skin.
Did you try to hide what was happening to you from them too, Donnie? Did you crawl down to this dark place to suffer alone?
Leonardo is at the front of the group but he's stopped short with a quiet gasp and Raphael bumps into him. Confused and angry he shoves his brother aside and rushes to Donatello, who's growl has turned into a guttural, pained groan.
"Don?" Raph whispers to the bulk that he suddenly realises can't ALL be Donnie and yet it all shifts when he speaks.
"N-nnnoo-" His brother's moan is cut short by a series of awful stretching and crunching sounds, something wet and twisting that makes Don gasp and Raphael reach forward to find out what is happening.
A massive hand reaches back and holds Raph in place, Mikey yelps in response and he can hear the metallic click of Leonardo gripping a sword, ready to unsheathe it at any moment. Olive fingers curl over the back of his carapace and a huge thumb rests on the center of his plastron and the gigantic palm covers his whole shoulder and then some but all Raph can think is that Don's skin is way too warm and they should be doing something about it.
Raphael is frozen in place and just stares, his eyes growing accustomed to the dark so he can make out the shape, Don's new shape, before it slumps forward with a sigh. Raphael manages to catch him before he falls face first on the floor and it isn't until he barks out for help, straining under the weight that his brothers move.
Once Don is back at the lair and awake everything seems much better, even normal if you don't think about how their small quiet brother is huge, towering over them all.
"It's the hulk! It's gonna eat us!" Michelangelo teases, once they realise their brother is safe.
"I'm not sure what to think about it." Leonardo speaks quietly to Raph while they watch Don and Leatherhead, who looks slim in comparison to Don now, brainstorming ideas on the other side of the lair.
"Yeah, me neither." Raphael answers only half sincerely because it's true but probably not in the way Leonardo meant.
He can't stop looking at his brother now, not because he's big and stands out. There isn't really much about him that's changed apart from size except the way his body draws Raph's attention no matter what it is he's doing. He's received a nudge from Mikey or Leo often for gawking at Don hunched over his computer, cursing at the too small keys.
There are some changes, he's not sure the others have noticed, and it's not just about Don being so large now, or the thick tail between his legs too large to tuck away that Raph has to make a conscious effort not to stare at. Maybe he isn't all that different, it's just that Raph never noticed the rounded bottom edge of Don's plastron before or the softer curve of his carapace.
"Dude, what's that smell? Raph did you eat something weird again?" Mikey calls out to him when they're setting the table for dinner.
There's that as well. Raph thought he was going crazy, that he was the only one who noticed how different Don smells. When he sees Don ducking his head and leaving more space between them he realises Don knows about it too. Raph isn't sure why he felt the need to step closer again, but he does. He pats Don's arm even though he shouldn't feel like he should be comforting him. It was just something dumb Mikey said, like they say to each other all the time. He pulls his hand back only after Don gives him an odd look.
Raph has to make an effort not to end up hovering close to Don all the time. His feet lead him to his brother's side more and more often and he finds himself having to stop and turn around, walk somewhere else and make himself stay there. It ends up carrying over to patrol in a way that the other's don't fail to notice.
Raph's jumpy when they have to face off against a group of mutants in one of the collector tunnels. He doesn't like them inching closer to Don even if they're not really in trouble or very outnumbered. They've strolled through worse odds with these creatures but he startles himself when he hisses at the couple who are trying to flank Don. It even draws a glance from Leo with a raised eye ridge but he ignores that and jumps back towards his brother and rips right through the mutants a lot more savagely than was warranted.
"No! Raph!" Don yells at him, pulls him off the melting bodies with a single hand on the top lip of his carapace. "Raph…" he sighs, "we're supposed to contain the spillage of contaminated DNA." He motions to growing puddle of blue sludge being washed away.
"What was that?!" Leonardo barks at him inches away from his face later at the lair. "He wasn't even in any trouble, you broke formation and Don was fine!" At least he waited until they were in private.
Leonardo deflates after Raph gives him a helpless shrug and shakes his head. He doesn't know what happened to him. He doesn't understand anything. "We're all worried about him." Leonardo says a lot more calmly. "But he's okay. If anyone can find a cure it's Don. He's going to be okay."
Raphael nods to end the conversation and walks away when Leonardo seems satisfied. He is worried and maybe that's all there is. A bite from one of those things is what changed Don so he was just nervous about them being close to him again. Lost in his thoughts he isn't all that surprised when he finds himself walking in on Don in the garage.
His mouth goes dry at what he sees: Donatello on his knees, bent over in front of the Battleshell fixing one of the headlights. With his eyes glued to Don's thick tail and the back of his legs his steps take him right up to Don until he's standing behind him. He reaches out with a hand before Don sits down on his heels, lowering his tail out of sight.
"I was hoping no one would notice but it's affecting you, isn't it?" Don asks him with a quiet voice, his thoughtful gaze on Raph.
Raph still hasn't pulled back his hand, the urge to touch is so incredibly strong and it would require no effort at all to just rest his fingers on his brother's shell. That wouldn't be too strange, they touched all the time like this didn't they? So he does. He just closes the distance until the pads of his fingers are in contact with Don's carapace. "What is it?" He asks Don in an almost dream-like state as his fingers begin tracing a groove.
"Can't you see it?" Don asks, almost whispering now. "The mutation changed me."
Raphael nods because he understands the quiet meaning behind those words and their inflection. The mutation changed Don so much it's like he's not even the same person any more, only he is. His fingers slide over Don's shoulder and to his neck drawing out a shiver from the hulking turtle and now his amber gaze is captured by Don's pink tongue that wets his lips before he continues.
"It made me female." Donatello confesses in a soft, barely there voice.
The words sink into Raph as he stares off into space. His hand is frozen, curled around Don's jaw, fingers on his galloping pulse. Everything clicks into place in Raph's brain. It's like one of those weird images that's all balloons until you squint at it just right and you can see some statue or a motorcycle in 3D.
"A stereogram," Donatello gasps out and closes his eyes.
Raphael didn't notice he'd spoken out loud or that he'd started stroking Don's jaw again, didn't notice he was standing so close to him, close enough that he can smell his skin and feel his brother's breath on his snout. He would only need to tilt his head slightly to press his mouth against the wet, glistening lips of Don's upturned face he's cradling. It would take no effort at all to kiss him the way he is, beautiful and blushing, fragrant and panting. So he does.