While I am working on the next chapter of No More Gun For Sweets I came up with this one after reading a fun story on Booth and Bones sexting. I hope you enjoy this humorous interlude. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Booth was working on the usual flood of paperwork that came with being the SAIC of his section. He hated it with a passion, but that pansy Hacker was always busting his chops about getting the paperwork in on time, so he was hard at it at six o'clock Thursday evening when he would much rather be at home with Bones and their one year old daughter, Christine. He was sure that Hacker was like this all because he had lost out on his chance at having Bones for himself, the jealous waste of skin. As he was reaching for his next file to look over, his phone pinged telling him he had a text message. Bones no doubt wondering why his sorry ass wasn't at home having dinner after giving her all sorts of Hell about wanting just one measly family evening this week. Picking up his soda and taking a lengthy pull, he tapped the icon on the phone bringing up the message. He promptly sprayed the soda all over his desk, and to his horror it flew onto the base of the brand spanking new all in one VIZIO computer he'd been allocated. The base which was the CPU. Oh, shit! But that message!
I'm at home naked in bed playing with myself. Why aren't you here playing with me?
Just then he heard some sizzling of the circuitry in the computer and moaned. The thing was brand new! Tech support would not be happy as it was a very sophisticated souped up model that was a few thousand dollars more than the new over the counter model you could pick up at Wal-Mart. He ignored that one, though, as he had more important things to worry about.
What the Hell?
He sent that message as that was all he could think about at the moment. What was she doing? This was nuts.
I want you.
No shit. That much was obvious, as the sizzling computer in front of him could attest.
R U trying 2 kill me?
That must be the explanation. She wanted to give him a heart attack. And cost him a small fortune, he mentally added as he looked at the now worthless computer in front of him. He'd only had the thing two days! He was sure Hacker would take it out of his paycheck, the jealous bastard!
No. I just want to have an evening of non-stop intercourse.
He closed his eyes and groaned. His phone pinged again. With a sigh he opened the next message and then promptly shut his eyes as if it could eliminate the mental image the message created.
My dildo is not nearly as satisfying as your long, hard cock.
He recalled the first time she had ever let him watch her play with her toys and it had been the hottest thing he'd ever seen. Needless to say he had broken every record possible in ripping off his clothes and joining her on the bed that night. Now he was in his office with the knowledge that she was playing without him.
Did Angela put u up 2 this?
It had to be Angela. There could be no other explanation. Bones did not normally approve of such things as sexting, preferring her sexual play to be in person for easy access when it got to the raging inferno level.
No. Max has Christine for the night and I was feeling amorous. I need you, Booth.
He'd be having a chat with Max about giving him a heads up from now on when the man wanted to have some quality time with his granddaughter. A little advance warning wasn't too much to ask, was it? Look at the nightmare the lack of it had created with the fried computer on his desk.
But Hacker's b'ing a dick and wants all the paperwork ASAP.
Maybe that would let her know that as much as he wanted to play it wasn't possible right then. Another ping. He tapped the icon and the really groaned in frustration.
But Andrew doesn't have TAP, which I do and love sharing with you.
TAP. Something he'd muttered once and she'd figured it out instantly by some miracle, and given him all sorts of teasing Hell about it. Tits, Ass, and Pussy. TAP. He would forget for the moment that she still referred to Hacker as Andrew. It made him want to hurl every time he heard her call him that. The man wasn't good enough to shine a junior agent's shoes, let alone be an Assistant Deputy Director! Why the Hell couldn't Bones see that? But back to business. He quickly sent a new message.
And I luv the sharing, Bones. But I have work 2 do. U know? What we do every day of the wk.
Hopefully that would get her mind back in the proper mode. He'd remind her of sexy, amorous Bones when he managed to get home. Daddy really could do with some loving, after all. And it would be insane to waste the generous, though he was sure unintentional, gift Max had given them in taking Christine for the night.
But I need an orgasm, Booth. I need one from your hands. Your mouth. Your cock. Come home and play with me.
That did it. Screw the computer. Screw Hacker and his paperwork bullshit. It was time to get some. If Bones was offering, and this insistent, then it was time to do the deed. He could tell Hacker his computer blew up and screwed all the paperwork into a jumbled mess. The tech boys would bring him a new computer tomorrow and all would be well. And Booth? He'd be a strutting peacock all day after a night of loving, and naughty fun, with Bones.
I'll b there in 20 min. Slow down and wait 4 Daddy!
The next day Booth stared in disbelief at the monstrosity on his desk. It was one of those massive, old style computer monitors that took up most of the space on the desk, and down below there was an equally ancient CPU tower. The keyboard looked like it had been in a freaking war! And a roller ball mouse?
"What the Hell is this?" he demanded when the tech finished setting it up.
"New rule, Agent Booth," the tech explained. "You ruined a $5,000 computer inside of two days. For now you work with this, which has been slightly upgraded to allow access to all our systems, but using DOS for the basic computer language. When you get through the computer basics course next week, we will be allowed to bring in a new all in one."
"But I know how to use a computer!" he protested. "And what the Hell is DOS?"
The tech handed him a manual. "It's all in here. Use this to input commands and retrieve what you need," he told him and then left.
Booth sat down and glared at the offending machine, and the fairly hefty sized manual that he'd been handed. He got out his phone and sent a simple message.
Sexting is 4bidden when either of us is at work. No exceptions.
"Charlie!" he bellowed to his main assistant. If he was going to be miserable, then Charlie could help him make sense of this mess and be miserable, too. He felt like sharing the love with his underlings. Then he thought of the night before and smiled. Oh, well. After the night he'd had with Bones, this was a small price to pay. He still was forbidding sexting while at work, but he could let the night before slide otherwise. As it was he could imagine Bones laughing her ass off when she gets his message. His phone pinged and when he opened the message he felt like crying. It was going to be a long day.
I want you.
A/N: There it is. I hope you enjoyed it. It was fun taking a break to write this one. Now back to No More Gun For Sweets. Gregg.