((This is my second work in Greek Mythology, people! For this, I shall mock/make fun/possibly idolize certain myth, gods, nymphs, facts, knock down certain stereotypes, enforce new ones….and hope that they all don't come back to haunt me. My first shall be….the gods~! As for which…you shall see….))
One day on Olympus-wait, wait, wait, and wait. Not Olympus. In a forest, where the sounds of brooks, flowing streams, calling birds(no Christmas carols, people!), animals sounding out to one another, and the shrieks of an angry Queen of Olympus, finally caught her husband near a clear grove, getting playful with a rather attractive nymph. "This has gone on far enough, Zeus! YOU AND ME. ARE. THROUGH!" She announced wrathfully as she separated the two and advanced toward the King of Olympus while the nymph fled in fear, not caring who heard, mortal or not. "B-B-But…but honey—" Jove stammered out a worthless explanation. "No, Zeus, I'm done! I'm sick of you hurting me, cheating on me….I'm….I'll….I'm going to….I'm calling Maury!" She threatened as the Olympian King cringed in fear at the name of the great Paternity Tester.
"Okay darling…we c-could work this out—" He has stopped by his wife's finger to his lips…a finger that sent jolts of lightning coursing through his body, knocking him out. The still incensed Juno promptly picked him up and slung him over one shoulder, taking the form of a beautiful, rosy-cheeked, early 30-something, petite brunette beauty as the unconscious King unknowingly took on the form of a tall, muscled, tan, blond male with golden eyes behind closed eyelids; all the while, she muttered as she carried him back to Olympus: "You're not the only one who can wield lightning, bitch."
Apollo and Helios, who were busy playing blackjack and betting cattle, were the first to spot the Queen carrying King. "No way…" The Sun gasped as the lyre-strumming Prophet muttered while shaking his curly blond head, "It happened at last…Even I should've seen it coming…" Meanwhile, more of the nymphs who were the victims of Zeus's wandering eye as well as Hera's wrath gave a rising cheer as said Queen passed through and up the mountain, not bothering to use her godly powers to teleport herself to the very top. "So…It's finally come to this, huh? Little bro, you sure screwed up this time." Poseidon, god of the seas, sighed as Zeus finally came to, chained to his throne. "Huh…? What in Tartarus happened?" He mumbled as he opened his eyes but remained immobile. "Well, duh! You got epically owned by your own wife and now she's dragging you on national mortal TV to be publically humiliated." Poseidon explained, about ready to clunk his foolish younger brother over the head as said brother muttered as if he didn't seem to care at all what she did, "And? Did something else happen?" "Yup; she's divorcing you." Neptune deadpanned as Zeus bellowed out, eyes toward the sky in Skywalker-style, "Noooooooooooooooooo!" Oh sure, now he cares.
((Next chapter will be when Hera, Zeus, and a few others shall appear on the Maury Show! I'll put up a poll on my profile asking which god/myth/couple you guys want me to do next~. Zeus is soooo screwed right now…))