It has been 15 days since Knuckles last went to eat. He was just 'too busy watching the Master Emerald,' Knuckles commented.

We've been with Knuckles for years, and we've all seen his obsession with one shiny rock grow. Family and friends are here today to help him with his problem.

We will try to get Knuckles to change his devastating life choice by getting him through the twelve-step program.

1st session - Goal: Admit that you were powerless over Emeralds--that our lives had become unmanageable

"When I first met Knuckles," started Sonic, "I was like 'oh, cool dreads! I wanna be friends with this guy.' Then I noticed his lifestyle.

After our first little battle about Eggman tricking him and taking the Master Emerald for his own, I thought Knuckles just had a strong sense of justice, thus why he was so mad about a bad man with bad intentions taking that big emerald to take over the world.

...turns out the echidna had a major psychological problem."

"Shut up, Sonic!" exclaimed Knuckles.

"What?" said a confused Sonic. "I thought we were just talking in like little confessional booths. As in, he isn't suppose to hear me!"

"I don't know why Sonic is criticizing me," mumbled the Director. "So I didn't have a enough money to get actual 'booths'. I thought sitting chairs in a room and putting cardboard between them all would be good enough."

"ANYHOW," continued Sonic. "It turned out this once cool-looking echidna had an unhealthy emerald fetish. I always asked him to go on adventures with me, but he always refused, claiming 'I need to protect the Master Emerald'. What kind of bachelor sits all day looking at a shiny rock?"

"The kind of bachelor that's gotta protect this place, I do it for my race," said Knuckles.

"Um...yeah," replied Sonic.

"I'll have you know, I'm with the Master Emerald so much because everyone always wants to steal it."

"No they don't," barked Sonic. "We only have a game like every 3 years. You've got some off-time between that."

"but..but, she needs me," replied Knuckles..

"Who needs you?"

"The Emerald needs me."

"And this goes back to what I said about your psychological problem."

Tails began talking, "Knuckles is a very angry man. ...Oh yeah, the Emerald, he was always with it. And when he wasn't with it, somehow he worked it into any conversation. What did giving the Tornado 2 a new paint job have to do with the Master Emerald?"

"Emerald could have helped," said Knuckles.

"No, Knuckles. It couldn't have," said the now sobbing Tails.

Rouge the Bat spoke up, "When I first saw Knuckles, I was ecstatic, as I found out that the guarder of a precious jewel was, infact, a precious jewel himself. At first I tried to play hard to get, but that didn't work. He was more worried about that Emerald's safety than mine! Every game, I tried to get a little closer to him, yet he only seemed to get closer to that emerald. WHAT DOES THAT EMERALD HAVE THAT I DON'T?!?!?"

"The Emerald was here first, baby," smoothly commented Knuckles. "I can't have 2 loves in my life and the Emerald was my first love. ...and prettier."

"I hate you dirty echidnas anyhow," Rouge said as she stormed off hugging a picture of Knuckles to her chest.

Cream came into the scene, "Mr. Knuckles needs some help. Some REAL help. My associate, Cheese, also agrees."

"You don't know me. None of you know me. You just want my Emerald, and I won't let you have it, ya hear?!"

Pan to Amy, "Knuckles? Yeah, he has some serious issues."

"Look who's talking," mumbled Sonic just soft enough for Amy not to hear.

"I came to the Emerald Shrine one day to have a picnic with him and ask him if he had any clues to Sonic's current whereabouts, but when I got there, it was really windy. I saw Knuckles putting a blanket around the Master Emerald and cooing it. I decided to walk away."

"Master Emerald was cold so I had to warm her," Knuckles said back in defense.

"Of course, Knuckles," said Amy while she plotted an escape route.

Shadow came into the picture, "He's a mad man. In my 'Shadow the Hedgehog' game exploits, I found him randomly appearing to help 'kill the black creatures'. When I looked into his eyes, I only saw determination to kill. It was a determination so strong that it was almost like he was under a spell and somebody else, or some other being, was instructing him to kill."

-The Circle of Judgment-

"Geez, Knuckles, you're some sort of freak," Sonic said in amazement.

"I second the Blue Hedgehog," said Shadow.

"What do any of you know?" spouted Knuckles.

"We know that you've been crazy for a long time," casually said Rouge.

"Knuckles, you need help," Tails said calmly.

"I don't need anything but the Emerald and my island."

"What about food?"

"I can feed off of M.E.'s love."

"Knuckles," said Amy, "We're your friends, and that Emerald can't give you the happiness we can. Like the happiness I give Sonikku."

Rouge sighed, "Fangirls are so clueless."

Shadow started to get impatient, "YOU HAVE A BIG PROBLEM. SOLVE IT."

"IT WOULD BE SOLVED IF YOU ALL STOPPED BEING JEALOUS OF MASTER EMERALD!"

The Director observed, "So, I'm guessing the first step isn't going to happen today. On to the Next Activity!"

-Can Knuckles get past the first-step and admit he has a problem?-

"I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM."

"Yes, you certainly don't."

To Be Continued.