After The Unspeakable
I've never seen him so lost. Not crying, not screaming, not even talking. Just staring. It looks as though he thinks the wall will turn into Sirius if he just concentrates hard enough. But Sirius is not coming back. He's gone. Dead.
Just about one or two hours ago, we were fighting death eaters. Then the order pushed me, Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Neville to the sideline to be safe. The only ones left in the battle in my field of vision, were Harry, Sirius, Bellatrix Lastrange, and Lucius Malfoy.
All that was heard was the harsh battle breath and the impact of spells to either stone or body. It happened so fast I almost missed it. I wish I had. Harry and Sirius had just managed to knock out Malfoy when I heard Bellatrix yell the most unforgivable of the Unforgivable Curses. At first I thought it missed. But when I looked at Harry I realized that it hit it's intended target. I could see Harry's eyes widen in shock and then and then in understanding. I looked at Sirius and although he still had a smile plastered on his face, you could tell he was gone. Dead. The archway almost seemed to eat him. He just disappeared.
Then came Harry's anguished sobs and screams. I saw Remus grab Harry around the waist as He tried to get to the archway. Harry tried with all his strength to get away but he didn't have the energy. All I could think of is how much I wanted to be the one to hold him right then. He needed hi best friend. His brother. His family. But before I could get in even one step be tore away from lupins hold, and chased after Bellatrix.
I can't be sure of exactly what happened when they were in the atrium, but I do remember pushing past the Order members and following the sounds of Harry's pained and tortured screams. Let's just say that I wasn't prepared for what I saw.
Harry's eyes were weird. They weren't the eyes that I had looked to for so many years now. They were the eyes of a beast. He was talking to Dumbledore in a voice that wasn't his own, and thrashing and screaming. The sight made me want to be sick. You-Know-Who was inside my best friend! Then he just collapsed. If I wasn't mistaken, I could have sworn that he had looked right at me. And although his eyes weren't the same still, I could clearly see my best friend behind them. He wasn't totally gone yet. I tried to reassure him with my eyes that it was okay, that everything would be alright in time, but I wasn't so sure myself.
When he muttered those last couple of words, I new it was over. His eyes turned back to their normal, emerald, sparkling green. He let out one more gasp of pain and then rolled onto his back. I was going to go to him until I saw the thing I fear almost as much as I fear spiders. Lord Voldemort. He stood over Harry and whispered something that I couldn't hear. But the pain and terror that I saw flash in Harry's eyes told me everything I needed to know.
When the aurors arrived he left. But not quick enough for the ministry officials to not see him. If we had not been in the situation that we were currently in, it would have taken all of my willpower to keep myself from punching Fudge. He finally realized that Voldemort was back. But I didn't care. All I cared about was the form of my best friend lying limp in my headmaster's arms.
That was over two hours ago now and I am currently sitting in our dormitory with him in silence. Dean, Seamus, and Neville got put into another room for the time being. All he does is sit there staring at blankly at the wall. After a few more moments he finally looks at me and says the first thing I have heard him say since he woke up.
"He's gone isn't he?" he mutters brokenly. His voice is weak and I have to strain my ears to hear him.
I've never been good at dealing with this sort of stuff. Therefore, I just nod and say
"Yes."
He nods back and I can see him starting to break. His bottom lip and chin start trembling and one lone tear escapes from behind his tightly clenched eye lids.
I've never sen him like this before. But it seems to come naturally as I get off my bed and sit next to him. By now he's taking gasping breaths to try and stop himself from losing control. But he's fighting a losing battle. I gently put an arm around his shoulders and he crumbles under my touch almost immediately. He turns quickly into my embrace and I can do nothing as he sobs helplessly into my shoulder for what seems like hours. One arm rubbing small circles around his back, the other stroking his sweat and blood soaked hair.
It's an hour later when he finally exhausts himself into sleep. As I leaned against the headboard of the bed with Harry snuggled in my arms, I remember my promise from last year around this time. I will always be there no matter what. Tonight I kept that promise.