Honest Trailer: Hong Kong 97, a misc. games fanfic

Author's Note: This is my attempt in making an honest trailer parody for the infamous game that had been unleashed into existence and would later be made known via internet. Credit goes to the people who provided the information of the game such as AVGN, Flippy, Stanburdman, Nostalgia Critic (first learn of the game from his F4 review video), and TVTropes. Also special thanks to Smosh and Screen Junkies for the idea as well as the lunatic who designed this "game" for everyone to make fun of and vomit at the same time. If you want the real honest trailer to be made for Hong Kong 97, go over to Smosh's honest trailer for video games and post request for it.

It has to happen!

From the people who brought you Hong Kong 97 and the encyclopedia of butt plugs, we present you their greatest masterpiece...Hong Kong 97!

The game so bad that stores refused to sell it, making the hard copy nearly impossible to find, causing just about everybody to doubt it's existence. Seriously, it's Wikipedia article even got put up for deletion several times!

Play as Chin, the unrelated relative of Bruce Lee who happens to look like Jackie Chan send by Governor Chris Patten to deal with an impending mass immigration from mainland China by committing genocide of the entire population. Embark on a journey in which Chin engages in a Space Invaders battle rip-off by firing magical fireballs to murder some red shirts, civilians walking down the street, and lawyers...or were they officials or something? Then there's the random hit and run drivings which to be fair does accurately portrays the daily traffic in mainland China.

In addition, be sure to pick up two power ups, one of which resembles a green poker chip that does exactly the same thing the blue mushroom from Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels does by giving you the benefit of ending your life unexpectedly. The other power up is a syringe which gives you few seconds of invincibility...remember kids, drugs are good!

Later, battle against the floating severed head of Deng Xiaoping that had been converted into an ultimate weapon with an ability to crush by dropping on top of someone. Once you've defeated Deng Xiaoping, you wil-wait a minute...it still keeps on going? Are you kidding me? Does the game ends or do you really have to kill off the entire population of mainland China? Who's going to do that?

Feel free to enjoy this unholy abomination that was said to been taken a week to make and yet somehow it felt like less effort had been put into this game. Prepare to live with a nightmare you will get from looking at the 'Game Over' screen featuring an actual autopsy photo of some guy who died in 1992 with a horribly misplaced CHIN IS DEAD message that would make you burst out in confused laughter, making you look like a complete dick for laughing at the screen with an actual dead body.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

Yeesh, no wonder why the game was never given an official release...really, this game is seriously fucked up!

I mean where the hell do they manage to get that autopsy photo from? This is really disturbing.

Plus, you die in one hit, some killing machine...

Then there's the five second loop of a classic 1960's Chinese propaganda song that will keep on playing even after the game is over and long after you shut it off. Good luck getting that one out of your head.

Starring:

Cross dressing Ryo Saeba from the live action adaptation that it's own actor hates (Chin at the intro screen)

Mr. Chin (Chin in the game)

Not related to George Patton (Chris Patten)

The character not appearing in this game despite being on the cover even though it would have been much better if he had (Bruce Lee)

The floating head dictator (Deng Xiaopeng)

Expendable crew members from Enterprise (red shirted targets in the game)

Suit & Tie music video (other targets in the game)

CPDRC Dancing Inmates (red shirted people in one of the intro screens)

Random Holocaust reference (the black and white background in one of the intro screens where "Chin" is featured)...let this one burn into your head!

Hit and run driving

Copypasta

Poorly superimposed mushroom cloud gif. that made Ed Wood movies look Oscar worthy

Poison green donut thingy... (green poker chip)

Steroids (syringe)

Rocky Balboa in three sequels from now (dead body from the GAME OVER screen)

Chinese propaganda backgrounds

Hey, isn't that Guilin in the background?

Not to be confused with TVB!

Coca Cola?!

AAAAAND...

Wǒ ài Běijīng Tiān'ānmén,
Tiān'ānmén shang tàiyáng shēng;

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD ALREADY!

The Kowloon Incident!

So it seems this game has another magical element aside from firing fireballs at each other. I mean since if Chin dies, not only that his body transforms from Jackie Chan into a middle aged white guy, he also gets warped back five years as well.

Makes sense I guess.