A/N Checking the last time I published a story, I noticed it was only two weeks ago. For some reason, it feels like ages. I guess it's because so much has happened with my writing and story ideas these past few weeks that it seems like it's been months since I've shared anything.
Anyway, originally, I was planning on posting an AU to A Glimpse of Hope, and I do intend on doing that. Problem is, I seem to have gotten writer's block on that story, so I don't know when I'm going to actually finish writing it. I do want to eventually post it though.
THIS story was the story I'd wanted to write before A Glimpse of Hope, the story that did not turn out the way I wanted it to. Basically, I was annoyed that in Deathly Hallows Part 1, Ron was not as panicky and terrified in Malfoy Manor as he was in the books. I'm fairly certain many others were too. I also heard that there was a lot of footage from Malfoy Manor that was deleted because it seemed to graphic or gruesome. I began to wonder what it might contain, and also, whether somewhere in that deleted footage, Ron might have lost it. I decided to write that, and as you know, it didn't really work out well.
Today, though, I got an idea on how to improve it, and I've added some extra bits and pieces to make it post-worthy - pieces that were originally going to be seperate stories. I decided it's good enough to share with you guys. So, basically, this is set in the movie, not the books. I hope you like it, and I apologise for the awfully long A/N, and you're probably not even reading this now... anyway, here it is:
Everything and Nothing
nothing.
He never realised how empty he'd be without her. He never thought about how his whole life revolved around her. He loved her, he knew that, but he'd never really understood how vital she was to him.
Not until it was too late.
Now, he lay on the comfortable bed his elder brother had provided for him, full from the food his sister-in-law had given him, and all he wanted was to go back to that cold, miserable tent and starve with his two best friends once more.
Warmth, comfort and food did not make up for the huge hole in his heart. With his two friends, he thought warmth, comfort and food were immensely important, and he craved them day after day. Now that he'd lost his friends and gained what he'd been begging for... he realised that all that wasn't worth his friends.
It never was. Ever.
Being with them was so much better.
When he was with them, he was himself, filled with laughter and love. Without them, he was just an empty shell, full with food and warm with blankets.
He was nothing without them.
He was nothing without her.
She was essential to him, to his existence. She was in everything he did. She was every breath, every step, every word. She was every night he dreamt of working up the courage to kiss her. She was every day he watched as she worked diligently, ignoring the world around her. She was every moment he spent apart from her, missing her like crazy.
She was right now.
And he needed her right now. He needed her forever. He'd lost her because of a stupid, spur of the moment, impulsive mistake and when he lost her, he lost everything.
He was nothing.
everything.
Harry wouldn't stop shaking. "Oh, God..." Hermione murmured, trying to relax her friend, even in his unconscious state. The chain of the locket glimmered, a bit of it showing itself above Harry's jumper.
"Oh, of course!" Hermione exclaimed, hating herself for not realising it was the locket that had pulled him into this. She began to tug, and heard Harry groan.
"Oh, my God!" Hermione cried as she realised the locket was stuck to Harry. "Oh, oh, dear Merlin!" She couldn't tug anymore, not when she realised the locket was stuck to Harry's chest, resting over his heart.
Hermione began to scramble through her beaded bag, trying to find anything that would help him. She didn't really understand what was going on, which killed her. Her best friend was moaning, obviously reliving a horrible nightmare, and she couldn't wake him up, she couldn't help him.
Tears were pouring down her face and landing on the shiny beads as Hermione rummaged through the bag's contents. "Oh, God..." Hermione muttered. "Oh, help..." She had to get the chain off him.
A spell, a spell, I need a spell...
Before the rational part of her mind could kick in, she quickly took off Harry's jumper and shirt. Harry was sweating and shivering at the same time, the locket was burning him. "Oh, my God!" Hermione shrieked, and quickly took her wand and pointed it between the locket and his chest. "Diffindo!"
She heard Harry groan, but he didn't wake. There was a mark where the locket had burned him, dark and ugly. Hermione quickly clothed Harry, chucking the locket into her bag.
"Okay, okay," she continued to murmur, for her sake as well as Harry's, even if he couldn't hear her. "We're okay."
She quickly got out some dittany and cleaned the wound on Harry's arm, the wound from the snake that had nearly killed them. Her mind began to work once more, resolve seeming to overcome panic a little. The wound began to look a few days old and Hermione sighed. They were safe.
She would only be completely reassured when Harry woke up though.
"Oh, Merlin. Oh, Good Godric..." she murmured, pulling her knees closer to her on the cold ground and wrapping her arms around them.
Just relax, Hermione, or you're going to explode.
And Hermione quickly looked up. It was almost as if she'd heard him right there. She turned her head round wildly, hoping to see a glimpse of red hair somewhere among the tall forest trees.
It was just like every other time before it though – an illusion. Again, Hermione had been fooled by her heart - her pathetic, lonesome heart that had the nerve to put her through all this. It was her heart's fault she'd fallen in love with a stupid git that had now left her all by herself.
Boy, she missed him.
She missed herself, too.
Her strive, her fire, her everything – it was him. He was everything. He was everything about her, and when he'd up and left them, he had taken a part of her with him. She felt so lost without that missing piece. She felt useless, unable to do anything.
He was so much a part of her that she could sense what he'd be thinking, or what he'd say. He was so much a part of her that she could hear him when he wasn't even there...
How could she have let herself do this? How could she have let him become so vital, so necessary, so everything to her?
It only hurt more when she lost him.
She needed him now more than ever. Something was wrong with Harry, he needed her help, and she couldn't help him, because she was a useless lump without the one thing that could help her carry on.
Again, the familiar sensation of tears begging to be released hit her. She'd done everything she could to help Harry, she was alone, all by herself now, and so she let it out. She cried, sobbing at the injustice in the world, the trauma her best friend was reliving, and the pain she was enduring at that very moment, all alone... so young, to be fighting so many... There was only one thing... or everything... that could help her.
And so in the cold, dark tent, as she waited for Harry and the sun to wake up, she let out a small plea, a call, in the hopes that he might know just how much she needed him:
"Ron..."
everything & nothing.
It felt like his senses were going into overdrive and he was suddenly very alert, painfully alert, of everything going on around him. Every scream emitted, that should have sounded muffled, was all too clear and sharp, ringing in Ron's ears. He could just make out Hermione's pleas, and something Bellatrix was growling at her.
And suddenly she was screaming again, and Ron was panicking, looking around wildly for an escape, for something, anything that could help him. Spinning around manically, he was, just like his thoughts. He was desperate. "We have to do something!" Ron said to the others.
"There's no way out of here," Ollivander said, trying to make Ron understand. "We've tried everything. It's enchanted."
Ron ignored this and ran over to the walls, feeling around frantically for a secret exit, or a wand, or something that could make him take her place, because nothing could be worse than this, nothing. Every part of Ron was shaking as his fingers clumsily yet speedily ran over the cold brick. "Hermione," Ron whispered desperately.
As if in response, Hermione began screaming once more, and Ron felt like he was being stabbed. Ron clenched his fingers into a fist against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to block out everything but it was no use. Hermione's screams sneaked through. Her cries spun throughout his mind, mixing and mingling with his other incoherent thoughts. This couldn't be happening, no, it was just a horrible, cruel, vivid nightmare... Hermione was alright...
"You're LYING, filthy mudblood!" Bellatrix shouted, and it seemed to echo around the cellar.
"Ron," Ron heard Harry say. "It's no use."
Ron shook his head wildly, not believing Harry, not taking his eyes away from the wall. He couldn't just stand around and do nothing while Hermione was being tortured. With renewed determination, he began feeling around once more. Nothing... nothing... nothing... "Come on!" Ron murmured, trembling from head to toe.
"Ron—" Harry began once more.
He didn't need to go any further. Ron sighed and let his head hit the brick in defeat. A tear trickled down from his eyes. He breathed heavily from his mouth, trying to slow down his rapid heart rate.
"NO—PLEASE—STOP!"
And suddenly Ron lost it. "HERMIONE!" he roared, pounding at the walls, hitting them with all his might, as if he could break them. "LET HER GO! LET HER GO! LET HER GO! PLEASE, LET HER GO! HERMIONE!" The wall's cold, hard surface hurt his fisted hands tremendously, but Ron didn't care. Hermione was going through much worse. Ron lowered his head down again and sobbed out in a whisper, "Hermione..."
"Ron, stop, we've got to—"
Ron blocked it out and pressed his head close to the wall, to try and hear what was going on. He needed Hermione... she was the only sane thing in his dizzy, confused, spinning, wild mind. He needed to help her... without her... without her... there was nothing without her... he was nothing without her.
"Hermione," he murmured into the cold brick, the warm air escaping from his lips and bouncing off the surface right back to him.
And at that moment, Ron realised just how vital and essential she had become to him. It was a revelation similar to the one he'd had in Shell Cottage, although magnified, because then, he was away from her – now, he could lose her forever. At least then, he'd known she was alive, and she'd go on without him... now... now she'd die, and he wouldn't go on without her. He couldn't. He was nothing without her, because she was everything. She was water, she was air, she was life. If she died, he would too.
"Hermione..." he cried, his whole body shaking.
"Ron," Harry said, looking at him worriedly.
Ron stepped back from the wall and rubbed at his face. He turned to face the others, making eye contact with Harry. "Something, do something..."
Harry lowered himself down to reach his feet. Ron had a feeling he'll soon collapse too... and if he was going to, imagine what Hermione... no, he won't imagine. He can't imagine.
Harry took out a mirror from his sock and Ron watched him, waiting for a miracle, ignoring Luna's comment about a mirror being a curious thing to keep in a sock. Suddenly his attention was diverted as Hermione screamed once more. Ron looked up at the roof, knowing that just above it was Hermione, most likely lying, enduring Merlin-knows-what, close to death... no...
"Help us," Ron heard Harry say to the mirror. As he did, he also heard footsteps approaching. Still having enough sense to use his deluminator to turn off all the lights, Ron quickly ran forward to the door. Peter Pettigrew was coming closer and closer to them. Ron grasped the bars of the door tightly.
"Let her go." Ron growled, anger coursing through him as he realised that the man before him had seen, maybe even enjoyed Hermione's torture and had done nothing about it. Pettigrew ignored him and directed his wand at Ron, causing Ron to step back and let him in. Ron watched him, mentally pleading him.
"You," Pettigrew began, "goblin." He pointed his wand around the room, warning them that if they tried anything... "Come with me." Ron could hear everyone turning to look at the goblin, but Ron kept his eyes on Pettigrew.
"Please," Ron whispered. Pettigrew glanced over at him quickly, and Ron wondered for a split second whether he may just agree to it. Ron had looked after him for nearly twelve years. Ron held his breath, not looking away, barely moving at all. Those years had to mean something...
They didn't. Pettigrew looked away from Ron and beckoned the goblin to come with him. Ron stepped back to let the goblin through, defeated and exhausted, wanting the world to swallow him up whole, because there was a good chance Hermione would die tonight, and without Hermione, surely Ron would die too?
That didn't stop him, however, from watching as Pettigrew began to leave with Griphook, and pleading in a cracked voice, "Take me."
Griphook jerked his head back, and Ron knew he heard him. Griphook couldn't do anything, though. Pettigrew ignored Ron completely. Ron slumped, crushed, and turned on the lights again.
Immediately after they heard a pop and Ron whirled around to see Dobby standing before them. Ron gasped softly – Dobby just apparated here, and if he is able to apparate in, then he shouldn't he be able to...
"What are you doing here?" Harry asked, sounding just as stunned as Ron was.
"Dobby has come to rescue Harry Potter of course." Dobby said. "Dobby will always be there for Harry Potter."
"Are you saying you can apparate in and out of this room?" Harry asked, a hint of hope in his voice. "Could you take us with you?"
"Of course, sir." Dobby replied. "I'm an elf," he added, as if it were obvious. Ron immediately felt a sense of pity for elves – they're so degraded by wizards that wizards overlook them in enchantments too. Hermione would be... Hermione. Bloody hell, he needed her. His head was still spinning, his insides turning, panicking.
No, he needed to focus. Harry quickly looked over at him, and it was a sign of how strong a friendship they had, that Harry didn't even have to say anything – Ron understood what he was asking. This sound alright to you? "Works for me." Ron said aloud.
Harry looked back at the other occupants in the cellar, looking like a man on a mission. It was a look Ron was very familiar with. "Right, Dobby, I want you to take Luna and Mr. Ollivander to –"
"Shell Cottage, on the outskirts of Tinworth." Ron interjected, his mind beginning to spin in a good way. He glanced back at Harry. "Trust me."
"Whenever you're ready, sir." Luna piped up, stepping forward towards Dobby.
Dobby looked at her incredulously. "'Sir?'" He turned back to Harry and Ron. "I like her very much." He clumsily walked over to Luna and Mr. Ollivander and gently grasped their hands in his. With a determined look on his face, the elf looked at Ron and Harry and said, "Meet me at the top of the stairs in 10 seconds."
As Dobby whisked Luna and Mr. Ollivander away, Ron couldn't help but feel hope creeping up inside him. Hermione might survive tonight... she might... she could... "Will." Ron breathed aloud, so quietly that Harry didn't hear. She'll survive, and they will be fine, Ron will be fine... blimey, he was so dizzy...
Harry beckoned him to run over to the cellar wall next to the door. Shaking his head, trying to stop the light-headedness, Ron quickly came over to the spot Harry asked him to. Someone was approaching, most likely Pettigrew, and they had to strike before the captor realised they were there.
The door began to open, and Ron quietly breathed in, preparing to attack, when suddenly Pettigrew few down to the ground. Harry and Ron leaned around to peek around the door and saw Dobby at the top of the stairs.
"Who gets his wand?" Dobby asked casually.
Ron could tell hope was shining in his eyes. Hermione... she's just at the top of those stairs... she's there... The dizziness was finally beginning to fade away... They started stepping up quietly so as not to be discovered. As they walked, Ron could hear Bellatrix saying something to Griphook. "I'm only going to ask you once more... goblin." she snarled. "Think very carefully."
"I don't know." The goblin said in such a low voice Ron almost didn't hear him.
"You don't know?" Bellatrix asked.
They'd almost reached the top of the stairs, were now crawling up them... the scene in the Malfoy Manor living room was about to be visible... Hermione... Ron's heart was pounding wildly, erratically. He would see her... he had to control himself, he couldn't run over to her, they had to wait until the right moment... Ron leaned forward a little more to see where she was.
And then he saw her. He breathed in sharply, feeling as a brick had hit him right in the face. Her pale, so pale body weak and limp, but she couldn't be dead, she couldn't be, wouldn't be, won't be, no, because Ron was here, he was not going to let them lay another finger on her... Ron eyed her very carefully, and he could've sworn he saw her chest rise up ever so slightly. He sighed in relief... she was alive. Something red was trickling down her arm... Ron's eyes widened, his head beginning to spin once more. Something was there, he couldn't see what, but it had to be blood. Tears began to form in his eyes as he realised he had very nearly lost everything...
"LIAR!" Bellatrix shouted, and Ron's eyes tore away from Hermione's feeble body to watch what was going on with Bellatrix and Griphook. He'd been cut by Bellatrix's knife – not enough to damage, but enough to hurt. Ron could see Bellatrix glaring at Griphook. So much hatred was depicted on her face. "Consider yourself lucky, Goblin." She said, standing up, walking towards Hermione. Ron tensed. Control yourself... control..."The same," she spoke quietly, and Ron held his breath, "won't be said for this one."
Control be damned. "Like hell!" Ron growled and leaped out of his hiding spot, firing a disarming charm at Bellatrix. She deflected it easily. He could hear Harry's footsteps behind him as he too ran out of their hiding spot.
Lucius Malfoy hastily began to get out his wand, but Harry was ahead of him. "Stupefy!" he shouted, and Malfoy was shot back into the wall behind him. Ron remained alert – Draco and Narcissa Malfoy were now firing at Harry and Ron. Spell after spell was being shot, back and forth, back and forth. And then...
"STOP!"
Behind Draco and Narcissa was a sight Ron would never, ever forget, however long he might live. Immediately he stopped firing, his eyes wide and terrified and his heart beginning to pound erratically once more as fear coursed through his blood. That dizzy, light-headed sensation was beginning to appear once more. Bellatrix was holding Hermione upright against her, a knife pressed to Hermione's throat. Ron heard Hermione emit a half-groan, half-whimper, and he wanted to faint – from relief, and from terror. She was alive, for the moment...
"Drop your wands," Bellatrix murmured. Ron was trembling, would he witness Hermione die right in front of him? When nothing happened, Bellatrix raised her voice. "I said DROP THEM!" Ron saw her press her knife to Hermione and a few drops of blood appear. Hermione's eyes met Ron's, wincing in pain. Ron swallowed and immediately let go of his wand. Hermione... Hermione... she was the only thing keeping him sane, the only thing keeping him from collapsing on the ground there and then. The fear he was feeling wanted to take over him completely, but if it did, Hermione would die. He had to stay strong. Hermione needed him to stay strong. Ron kept his eyes on Hermione, scared that if he looked away, her eyes would close and never open again, and he would lose everything and become nothing.
Draco ran forward and picked up Harry's and Ron's wands. "Look what we have here," Bellatrix murmured to Hermione, moving her forward with her. "It's Harry Potter! All bright and shiny and new again. Just in time for the Dark Lord." Ron struggled not to step forward towards Hermione and pull her out of Bellatrix's grasp. He had to control himself, he had to try... that knife, so close to Hermione... so close to snatching away everything from him..."Call him." Bellatrix ordered. From the corner of his eye Ron could see Draco and Lucius Malfoy exchange a frightened look. "Call him!" Bellatrix repeated.
Lucius stepped forward and pulled up his sleeve. Ron noticed Hermione breathe in shakily. Her head was forced up, facing the ceiling, but Ron had no doubt that Hermione's eyes were looking as far down as possible, trying to see what exactly what was going on. He hoped she could see him.
Then, he heard a squeak.
Ron glanced up towards the ceiling too and saw a spectacular sight – Dobby was hanging onto the chandelier, loosening it from its hold. Ron knew what was going to happen, it was obvious, but, it couldn't...
It did. Suddenly the chandelier, directly above Bellatrix, began falling down towards her. Bellatrix flung Hermione aside and ducked for cover. Ron raced forward to Hermione.
And the moment he wrapped his arms around her he was something once more.
oOoOo
He looked up at her through pale, wet eyelashes, unable to believe what he'd just heard.
"Ron," she murmured again, her eyes beginning to open, revealing their beauty to the world once more.
Ron's jaw dropped open slightly as he struggled to breathe. Though only moments ago he'd been sobbing his heart out at the torture his everything had gone through, he began to smile as he watched Hermione awake.
"I'm here, Hermione." He said, unsure as to whether she could hear him yet. She smiled as her eyes landed on him. "You're here." He swallowed thickly, a lump in his throat. "We're here."
Hermione sighed, relief evident on her pale face, and permitted Ron to wrap his arms around her as tears of happiness fell down their faces, mingling with tears of horror for all they'd gone through. They held on to each other. They held on to life. They held on to their everything.
A/N Hermione's turmoil was originally going to be a seperate story - I wanted to explore what made Hermione say Ron's name in the movie. In the books, you knew when Hermione first said it. In the movies, it was never mentioned. I figured out it had to be when Harry was unconcious after Godric's Hollow, so I tried to imagine what could have led to Hermione calling it out.
Once I get over my writer's block in regards to the AU Glimpse of Hope, I'll write it and post it. Currently, though, I'm working on a chaptered story that I'm really excited about and can't get out of my head. I think I might start posting it in a few weeks, and I'm really looking forward to that. I hope you come back to check that out.
As always, thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear from you!