I've really liked italics lately...so I wrote this about a months ago as a twenty minute writing thing. I do a lot of these, but I sorta liked this one. Pretty much just a random thought stream of L...I hope you like it!
enjoy!
You would never look at me; I remember that you would always look away after the first time that we were chained together. It was painful to watch, because every time I touched you, stroked your face or kissed you, your eyes were always looking at something behind me.
Even with your eyes closed, you were so beautiful. But when I ever got the chance to peer at your honey eyes, I would die.
I never felt anything before you. Pride, and eagerness maybe, but I never really felt something. I never craved anything like you. Better than candy, or pastries, you were everything. My sweetest desire.
Once, you told me that you loved me. I was sitting in front of you, playing with your fingers, and I could feel your eyes running over my face. I froze, and by the time I had looked up you had looked away, and your hands were latched around my wrist.
Always, I had thought that you were the aggressive, confrontational type. It seems I was wrong. The moment that we became handcuffed, you were always passive, letting me dominate over you and never once did you complain.
Of course, all of this was only in private. Around your father and the others you were your same arrogant, assertive self. Was that how you always were in private, and you just didn't even concern yourself about me when your privacy became my company? Or was it all just an act for me. If it was an act, then you are even more talented than I gave you credit for.
Did you know? Did you ever figure out that you were irrefutably Kira? That every façade that you put on never fooled me and that I was right all along? I pity you. I truly do, if that book had never fallen into your innocent hands, then all of this would never had happened.
How long did it take you to come to the same conclusion that I had come to months ago? If Kira had left you alive, then it meant that he had planned to use you again. Whether or not you consciously became Kira, or if he choose you to act as him.
What is that like? To know that you are a murderer, but have no memory of anything that you had done? I honestly find it terrifying. To have no control, knowing that at any point, you could lose all sense of yourself as you are now?
I don't blame you for killing yourself.
Maybe you were as you were around me because I gave you time to think. It wasn't as if we made talk a lot, especially not towards the beginning, and so we would sit in silence. Every thought was given the opportunity to pass through you head, tearing you apart from the inside out.
Again, I feel for you, I sincerely do. No one should ever be subjected to such a psychological experiment as you were. It wasn't you who was evil; it was the power of murder itself.
I regret I never told you that I felt the same. That on that day when you stated your love for me, I wanted nothing more to take you in my arms and repeat the emotion back to you. But I couldn't. Not then, and now the chance has passed forever.
I feel that I could have stopped you from doing it. But then again, if I had looked over and noticed what you were doing, I wonder if I would. There was no denying that you were Kira, and what right did I have to stop you from having to face him again?
We caught the third Kira, and everything stopped. All the casualties, all the murders. I promised you I would, remember? And I did. I caught him, and now I finally have a Kira I can sentence to death.
I regret that we didn't meet in more convenient circumstances, but I'm glad I met you all the same.
Light, I miss you. Even if you were Kira, you were also my first and only friend. I loved you~