Disclaimer: I don't own anything OC related. Lyrics belong to Moby.
AN: Another hiatus fic.

Extreme ways are back again
Extreme places I didn't know
I broke everything new again
Everything that I'd owned
I threw it out the windows, came along
Extreme ways I know move apart
The colors of my sea
Perfect color me
Extreme ways that that help me
Help me out at night

Extreme places I had gone
But never seen any light
Dirty basements, dirty noise
Dirty places coming through
Extreme worlds alone
Did you ever like it planned

I would stand in line for this
There's always room in life for this

Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Then it fell apart, it fell apart
Oh baby, oh baby
Like it always does, always does

Sandy closed the door to the house with a sigh. Leaving Kirsten at the clinic was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

She'd be okay. She had to be okay.

"Seth?" Sandy heard voices in the living room and followed the sound.

"Hey, Dad…" Seth said, glancing up at him from the couch.

"What are you doing up so late?" Sandy asked.

"I'll call you back, Summer, my dad's home…I'll ask him about Marissa, I'll call you back…" Seth said, closing his phone.

"What's going on?" Sandy asked, sensing his son's mood.

"Come on, you need to see Ryan, I'll explain on the way," Seth said, standing up.

"Seth…"

"Trey's dead. Last night when we went out to the Bait Shop there was this shooting, a drug deal gone wrong apparently…"

"Ryan was fine this morning, he didn't say anything about Trey…" Sandy interrupted.

"Trey didn't die at the Bait Shop, that's inconsequential in the bigger story, I just mentioned that because Trey was mixed up in it, the girl he's been seeing was there and it was all tense and because that gun is the same one that killed him, the cops kept talking about it and then tonight Summer came over and told me that while we were in Miami, that Trey tried to force himself on her and being the stupidass that I am, I thought that Ryan should know…" Seth continued talking fluidly until his father stopped him by the stairs to the poolhouse.

"Trey raped Marissa?"

"Attempted, she fought him off and when I told Ryan…he just…I've never seen him like that, Dad, he just took off, went over to Trey's and they got into it…and by the time me and Summer got there…Marissa had shot Trey. Trey was going to kill him, Dad…Marissa killed him to save Ryan and…"

Sandy didn't want to hear any more, he pulled his son into a hug impulsively. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know if I'd define myself as okay, especially compared to Ryan…he wouldn't go to the hospital even though he's really messed up and he won't say anything, he wouldn't even talk to Marissa, he's just…"

Sandy nodded and hurried to the poolhouse opening the door without knocking.

Ryan was sitting on the edge of his bed staring at the floor. His face was swollen beyond recognition and his hair was matted with blood.

"He won't let anyone near him," Seth said, standing by the door as Sandy approached.

"Give me a few minutes with him, Seth. Can you go upstairs to my bathroom and bring that big first aid kit and your mother's address book, please?" Sandy said quietly, turning to face his son.

"Okay," Seth said, taking off.

Sandy approached the bed cautiously. He could feel the 'stay away' vibes radiating off Ryan. "Ryan? Ryan…"

"Don't," he growled as Sandy reached out to try and touch his face to examine his wounds.

"Ryan, look at me. Look at me, Ryan," Sandy urged, his worry rising. He'd never seen Ryan so shut down.

"If I thought I could stand up, I'd have locked the fucking door," Ryan muttered, lowering his head further.

Sandy didn't know why he was hesitating. Ryan wouldn't hurt him. But the vibes were too strong to ignore, he'd even scared Seth off. He stepped forward and gently tilted Ryan's head back to examine his face in the dim light. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Ryan's eyes were cold with no sign of life in the blue. "I was going to kill him."

"Ryan…you don't mean that…"

"Yeah, I do. I was going to kill him, Sandy, because he fucking killed me…" Ryan muttered, turning his face away.

"Ryan…"

"He lied to me, Sandy. Over and over…he took advantage of you, of Marissa, of everyone that meant something to me…he used me and he knew that he was hurting me…he was my last family…"

"We're your family…"

"Not like Trey," Ryan replied. "I love you guys…but Trey…he was my brother. He lived with me, we grew up together, took care of each other…we were supposed to always have each other's back…"

"He would have killed you…" Sandy said, grateful that Ryan was talking but still unsure if it was helping because Ryan's eyes were still cold.

"Don't you get it, Sandy? I went there to hurt him, I would have killed him and he deserved it…I was prepared to kill him…he was only defending himself…from me…"

"Ryan, you don't need to think about that right now, okay? You've had a horrible night…"

"Just leave me alone, Sandy," he sighed.

"Ryan…"

"Leave me alone."

Sandy shook his head and when Ryan saw that he wasn't leaving, he slowly got to his feet and shuffled into the bathroom, slamming the door.

"Dad?" Seth appeared with the address book and the first aid kit.

"He's upset," Sandy said, meeting him by the door.

"I told you. What do we do?"

"Let's get some sleep and hope he does, too. I'll make sure the doctor comes first thing…"

"Are you going to tell Mom?"

Sandy hadn't even considered it. "I don't think so. It wouldn't be good for her…"

Seth nodded after a long moment. "But…don't you think she'd want to know?"

"Let's sleep on it, son."

Ryan knew he needed a doctor. Painkillers. Someone to get the glass out of his back. Someone to put ice on his swollen neck.

But he couldn't face anyone right now. He didn't think he had the energy to stand up for the time it would take him to shower. He filled the tub with hot water and stripped, submerging everything but his head.

He could barely raise the soap and the water was already turning red.

Like Trey.

He closed his eyes.

He remembered the dull pain in his fists as they pounded into Trey. The refreshing crunch as he kicked him again.

Fucker. He shouldn't have even bothered talking to him. He should have knocked him down as soon as he opened the door. But no, he had to talk, had to try and get the last word…

Trey. Always with the lies. Always with the pleading eyes. Not this time. This time he showed his true colors, pulled out that gun and waved it like he was a big man.

Trey had seen it in Ryan's eyes. He knew he'd need a gun to stop him.

But he hadn't. Trey had gotten the upper hand and he'd ended up on the bottom in a chokehold.

Marissa had to shoot him. Marissa had to kill him.

He hadn't even had the balls to do that right.

Sandy slept about an hour in front of CNN before a nightmare woke him up. He glanced at his watch.

Seth was snoring softly on the couch and didn't stir as he went into the kitchen.

The sun was just coming up. He needed to check on Ryan. He couldn't talk to Kirsten today so he had to focus on the tasks at hand.

He'd spoken to the police. He'd spoken to Julie and Jimmy and Marissa. He'd spoken to the private investigator about Dawn. He'd spoken to the funeral home about taking care of Trey's body once it was released.

Now he had to speak to Ryan.

He knocked on the door and stepped inside when there was no answer. The bed was empty. He lost his breath.

"Ryan?"

He wouldn't have run off, he wouldn't…leave them…

He walked over to the bathroom and tried the knob. Locked. He rushed to the other door and tried its knob. He swung the door open.

Ryan was unconscious beside the tub in his boxer shorts.

"Ryan? Ryan, hey, wake up…" Sandy said, panic taking over. He shook the boy, took his head in his hands tried to wake him.

"God, I shouldn't have left you alone…you're breathing, you're alive, I'm just going to call 911 and then you'll be fine," Sandy said aloud, trying to get his brain to listen to reason.

Ryan stirred slightly, raising his hand as his face twisted in pain.

"Ryan?"

"Sandy?" he murmured, blinking and wincing at the light. "What the fuck…"

"Are you all right? What happened?"

"I took a bath…I fell asleep and when I got out…I got really dizzy, I must've…"

"I'm taking you to the hospital, I had a doctor coming but you need to go now…"

"I feel better now, Sandy, really," Ryan said but he made no move to sit up.

Sandy watched as Ryan's face changed. It was still lined with pain but it hardened. He knew that he had to work fast to get Ryan out of the spiral he was sinking into. He didn't want Ryan to be cold. Not because of this. He'd come too far.

"Let me help you up…see how you feel…" Sandy consented, offering his assistance carefully to get him off the floor. "You took a bath?"

"I didn't think I could stand up for a shower," Ryan said as he managed to get to his feet. He staggered slightly and Sandy put an arm around his waist to steady him.

"Dizzy?"

"Yeah…"

"Let's go slow, all right?" Sandy urged. He could tell that Ryan was in pain; his close proximity to the boy was showing him that. His breathing was rapid and forced and his back was sliced from what seemed to be glass. He had to get this kid to a doctor; he didn't know how long Ryan had lain in the floor, unconscious.

"Wait," Ryan said suddenly and Sandy stopped. "Grab me some clothes?"

"Once you get settled, let's just get you to the bed right now," Sandy said, not trusting Ryan to be able to stand on his own.

After a few more steps, they made it to the bed and Ryan sat down, rubbing his eyes. Sandy went to the drawers and searched for something for him to wear. Satisfied with a pair of running shorts and trademark wife-beater, he returned to the bed.

"You know you need a doctor…"

"I thought you said one was coming," Ryan replied, accepting the clothes. His movements were slow and hesitant as he dressed, trying to give himself the least pain.

"I don't think you should wait. How long were you in there? Passed out?"

Ryan glanced behind him to the clock. "A while. But at least I slept," he remarked.

Sandy realized he was in the same clothes from the previous night. "So did I. Or as much as I could when one of my boys is shutting me out."

"I'm not shutting you out, Sandy…" Ryan sighed.

"You're shutting us all out, kid, even Seth…he's worried about you…"

"He shouldn't have been there," Ryan stated.

"I agree, neither should you…"

"What was I supposed to do, just let it go? After all the things he did to me?" Ryan snapped.

"No, Ryan, you could've come to me…"

"It wasn't your problem," Ryan whispered.

"We've been through this before, if it has to do with you…"

"Oh, whatever, Sandy," Ryan interrupted. "Trey was my family. My responsibility. You invited him here because you wanted him to have another chance, because you wanted me to give him another chance…he was always my responsibility…"

Sandy was stunned.

"I should've let him find his own way home from jail, I should have let Gattas' thugs kill him when he owed them money, I never should have brought him here…I knew what he was capable of…"

"You trusted him, that's not a sin," Sandy said gently.

"It is in my family," Ryan replied. "Trust me, I'm done drinking, trust me, I'll never hit you again, trust me, I've changed my ways…" he mimicked. "It's good he's dead. At least he won't have another chance to hurt me."

"Ryan…" Sandy didn't even know where to start.

"When's your doctor coming?" Ryan asked suddenly.

"Nine…"

"Can I crash until then?" he asked, lying down. "My head's killing me…"

"You might have a concussion…"

"Then wake me up in an hour or so…I'll try not to take your head off," Ryan muttered, closing his eyes.

Sandy watched as Ryan immediately lapsed into sleep. What was he going to do?

"Cohen? Wake up, Cohen…"

Seth blinked and recognized Summer leaning over him. Her hair was in pigtails, how she wore it when she was working out. He couldn't remember for a moment whether they were together or apart for a moment, it seemed to change from day to day.

"Hey, Summer…" he started, but she kissed him silent and settled onto the couch with him. They must be together again.

"How're you doing?" she whispered, wrapping her arms around him.

"Okay. My back kind of hurts from sleeping on this sofa, but other than that, I'm okay. How are you?"

"Still a little fucked up. But better than Marissa. Her mom pumped her full of valium and has her locked away. But her dad's there, so I know she'll be okay."

"I wish I had some valium," Seth sighed.

"How's Ryan?" she asked.

"I don't know. He's kind of like a wounded animal, I'm afraid to go anywhere near him…he even scared my dad away last night," Seth said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't go to a doctor, didn't want to talk, threatened to pummel me if I didn't get out of his face," Seth said.

"Really."

"Well, not in those words," Seth recanted, but he said it with his eyes.

"You want to go try again?"

"I think we need to give him some space," Seth replied. "Besides, I could use a little TLC from you…"

"That'd be nice…but can we take this upstairs? This couch is big and fluffy, but I need a little more elbow room."

"Sure thing," he said, getting to his feet.

The doorbell rang as they made it to the stairs. "It's damned early," Seth muttered, glancing at his watch. He opened the door.

"Lindsay?" Summer and Seth said in unison.

"Hey," she said quietly. "I was away on a hike and my mom just told me the news. Can I come in?"

"Where's Kirsten?" Lindsay asked once she'd settled onto the couch.

"She's not actually here right now," Summer said when Seth didn't answer.

"I'm going to go tell my dad you're here, where's your mom? Did she come with you?" Seth asked, standing up.

"She had to work, I was hoping I could stay here…" Lindsay said, narrowing her eyes. "What's going on, guys? Is this a bad time?"

"I'm really sorry about your Dad, Lindsay," Summer said when Seth bolted from the room. "It, sort of, is a weird time."

"What's going on?" Lindsay asked.

"Kirsten…she took Caleb's death really hard…she's been drinking, like, constantly for a while. She's in a clinic for a few weeks to try and dry out," Summer said. She was quasi-friends with the girl, but that wasn't why she was telling her. She was telling her so Seth wouldn't have to. It was the least she could do for him while his support system was falling to pieces around him.

"Oh, god…I can't believe my Mom waited so long to tell me…they didn't allow us to have cell phones or anything, but she could've found a way, I should've been here…" Lindsay said with a frustrated sigh.

"I don't think there was anything you could've done…it was really hard on everyone and you should be glad you missed it…"

"What about Ryan? How's he taking it? It has to suck to have another mother figure drinking like that…" she asked.

Summer was surprised. She had no idea that Lindsay and Ryan were even serious enough for him to have confided to her about his mother's problems. "I don't know. No one really had time to deal with her leaving because…all this other stuff happened last night."

"What stuff?" Lindsay asked. "Caleb's death, Kirsten's detox, what else could have possibly happened?"

Summer hedged but Lindsay kept a steady gaze on her. "Did Ryan ever tell you about Trey?"

"Trey, his brother? Got him arrested, used to kick his ass on a regular basis but is the best friend he ever had, Trey? Yeah, but he's locked up…"

"He was. Got out early and was staying in Newport…turned out not to be such a nice guy and…last night everything just sort of blew up. Ryan lost it, went over to kick his ass and there was this big fight and…Trey was killing him. Marissa got there first and she…she killed Trey. Ryan's freaked out, won't let anyone near him, Coop's heavily medicated and the rest of us are just trying to wrap our head around it…" Summer said finishing with a sigh.

"Oh my god…"

Summer examined Lindsay carefully. "That stuff about Trey…he really talked to you about that?"

"We talked about a lot of things…"

"Because Chino doesn't talk about that with Marissa. Or Seth. Just so you know," Summer said.

Seth returned.

"Summer filled me in, Seth…you think I could see Ryan?"

"I don't think so. I made it as far as the stairs before my Dad intercepted me. He's still…not really up for guests…" Seth said, visibly crestfallen.

"We're not guests, Seth, we're family," Lindsay said after a beat.

"Dad says to get you settled in the guest room and he'll come in shortly to see you," Seth said, sitting down.

"Why don't we all just relax and grab some breakfast. Coffee?" Summer offered.

"Caffeine makes everything better," Seth agreed. "Come on, Aunt Lindsay, let's get reacquainted," he said, relaxing finally and giving Summer a grateful look.

"This is for his pain. He seems to have a serious concussion so stick with checking on him every couple of hours, make sure he's alert and can answer basic questions. I put some bandages on his back and sutured up most of the worst of the cuts, I'd tell him to lie on his stomach, but his ribs are giving him a lot of pain so whatever gives him the most comfort," the doctor explained to Sandy outside the poolhouse.

"Is he going to be okay?" Sandy asked.

"I'd like him to stay off his feet as much as possible for the next week or so. Hopefully, he'll have calmed down enough to come in for a thorough examination by then. The meds should last about a week and call me if you have any questions," he finished.

"I really appreciate this, doctor…"

"You and your wife have always been generous to the hospital as well as my free clinic, I'm glad I could help," the doctor said.

Sandy glanced inside the house and saw Seth, Lindsay and Summer staring at him. He had to deal with those kids soon.

He needed his backup. He needed Kirsten. But she needed to stay at the clinic. He ran a hand through his hair and returned to the poolhouse. "Hey, kid."

"Hey," Ryan said softly, sitting on the bed.

Sandy went to the sink and got a glass of water and sat down beside him. "Take these. For the pain."

"Did I pass?" Ryan murmured, accepting the meds.

"For now," Sandy said, not able to stop himself from brushing a strand of Ryan's hair out of his eyes. "You have to take it easy."

"Why are you doing this for me?" Ryan asked. "After all the pain and shit I've brought into your house, why are you doing this?"

"Because. I love you. You're my son, now, Ryan, you're my family. And I'm sorry about Trey, I'm sorry for pushing you into taking him back into your life…but I was only trying to do what I thought would make you happy. I know you get homesick and I know that you haven't been with us half as long as you were with the Atwoods…but you have to know that this family won't work without you. You're stuck with us."

Ryan listened silently and finally nodded.

"Okay? No matter what you say to me, it's not going to change that."

"I would've killed him, Sandy…"

"I don't believe that. You don't have it in you," Sandy whispered.

"You just haven't seen it yet…I hope you never see it…" Ryan replied.

"Lie down. You have to be tired…"

"Seth's pretty pissed, I guess," he muttered.

"More worried, I think. And Lindsay's here. She just found out about Caleb and…"

Ryan shook his head as he lay back against the pillow. "I don't want to see her. Or Marissa…I just…can I just get some space?"

"Promise not to disappear?"

"I'm too tired to disappear…I'm sorry for being an asshole," he murmured, closing his eyes.

"Don't say 'asshole'. I'm going to be back to wake you in a couple of hours, all right?"

Ryan nodded and let Sandy pull the blanket up around him.

He waited until Ryan's breathing slowed and relaxed before leaving the poolhouse.

Now, to face the more inquisitive teenagers. He took a deep breath and went inside.

"Lindsay, it's good to see you," Sandy said, embracing the girl.

"Hi, Sandy. Sorry for just…popping up," she smiled.

"We missed you at the funeral. And you're always welcome, you know that. You might even get to meet your other sister, Hailey, if she decides to show her face around here today. She's helping us handle Caleb's affairs," Sandy explained.

"Oh. That'll be…weird. Does she know about me?"

"I…honestly don't know. I'm sure Kirsten would have told her…"

"Speaking of Kirsten…how is she? Summer told me about…what happened."

"She's getting help. She'll be fine, she's strong, she just let things build up," Sandy said. He almost believed himself.

"I was going to stay a few days, do you think I'd be able to see her?" Lindsay asked.

"We can't even see her for another two days," Seth quietly.

"When we go up to visit, you'll definitely come with us, Lindsay," Sandy said, giving his son a calming glance. He knew it had to be hard for her since she came all this way to mourn her father with the people that cared about him and she walked right into another crisis. Lindsay had to know how Sandy felt about Cal, how Ryan felt about him. Lindsay came to be with her sister and her sister wasn't here.

"How's Ryan, Dad?" Seth asked, changing the subject.

"Sleeping. The doctor gave him the once over, we just have to keep a close eye on him for a few days. He needs to stay off his feet…"

"Can we see him?" Summer asked, curling her arm around Seth's waist consolingly.

"He's asked for some space. I'm sorry. He knows you're all here for him…but he needs some time to come to terms with his brother's death…"

Seth muttered something under his breath and Summer nudged him.

"Seth, why don't you see if you can track down Hailey and try to arrange a family…brunch or something. Please?"

Seth nodded. "Sure thing, Dad. No problem at all. Come on, Lindsay…"

"Will you tell him that I'm here?" Lindsay said softly.

"He knows, honey," Sandy replied, not expecting her crestfallen face. She nodded and followed Seth out of the kitchen.