All I know for sure in this world is that miracles can happen. Although it's a preppy line and all the fairy tale princesses say it, it's true. I know what you might me expecting, 'I met Gerard Way, and we fell in love and lived happily ever after'. No. This story is way more complicated.
I had no talent, I wasn't very special either, I had a couple of friends who didn't understand me very well, they all wanted to be like the group My Chemical Romance, they were wanna be dark people, unlike them, I was naturally dark. The reason I don't say Goth or emo, is because I'm neither of those, although people label me them. I am me, and nothing else.
But people don't seem to want to believe that, or they just don't understand that. They think it's easier to label. Well I think that's wrong.
Let me introduce myself, I am Elizabeth Ashley Rose Watson. But people call me Rose. Some even say Black Rose, which no one seemed to know they are actually called Black Beauties. Until one day, someone finally knew. Now I had told no one of the Rose concept. I knew they wouldn't care.
What happened was that I was writing a poem, which most dark people do and I was sitting on a park bench. I was so absorbed in my work I hadn't noticed a tour bus stop a couple yards away from me. It was pretty embarrassing because I was sucking on a lemon, maybe one of the weirdest things I do. I put it right beside me as I was writing.
"Why hello Black Beauty..."
I gasped at the voice and sat straight up, knocking over my binder. I knelt down to get it, afraid of who might be talking to me.
"I'm sorry..." he said and began to help me.
I finally looked up, Gerard's hazel eyes stared back, and they were curious and pondering. I didn't freak or become speechless.
"It's okay. It's nice to get some attention once and awhile." I simply said.
Gerard had dyed his hair bleach blonde, it don't look bad at all. He helped me up. Gerard looked at me as if I might cause a storm, I didn't. It wasn't to look good in front of him either; I just couldn't go nuts over him.
"Do you want to go into the bus or something...?" He seemed nervous, which was rare for him.
"If you want me to." I said flawlessly.
He put his hand behind him neck, I smiled. I was making this hard for him. He looked a bit afraid.
"Yeah, I'll go in." I said smiling.
Gee looked relived, I was trying to make it easier. He took my hand and led me toward the bus.
Inside was like a huge teenager's room, everything painted black and red, except for Gerard's iPod, and it was light green. He led me into what looked like his room, it wasn't very personalized, it had a plain black silky bed with red pillows, and the walls were painted black with black curtains which looked as if they kept all light out.
I knew what was going to happen next, I began to leave the room, but he grabbed my hand.
"What's wrong?"
"Let go of me..."
"Not until you tell me what's wrong." He held tighter.
"Why do you care?"
"I just do!"
"Gerard you're hurting me!" Gerard's hand was stronger then I thought.
His eyes widened and he let go.
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again!"
Gee got closer but I backed away holding me wrist.
"Just stay away from me!"
I began to head for the exit when he grabbed me lightly by the waist and turned me to him.
"I'm sorry, it was a mistake, and I didn't mean to, I've been waiting so long for you Rose..."
"How do you know my name...?"
"I know a lot more then that my Black Beauty."
Gee stepped closer but I don't move back.
"Don't be afraid, I'm not going to hurt you, Rose, I've been watching you for months, I saw you at a concert and I just can't stay away." He said slowly. It took me a while to let this seep in me.
"But why me?"
"I don't know, you do so many different things every day, and I realized, you're what I need in my life."
I was shocked. Gerard has been watching me, since the concert? Gerard pulled me close to him. I looked into his eyes; they looked afraid, afraid I might run.
"Don't be afraid I might go." I said. "Somehow, I feel the need to be next to you."
He smiled. I knew what he was talking about.
2. The Almighty Terrible TeenagersI knew I had gone nuts. I was dreaming probably, or maybe I had become delusional. All I knew was that today I was on my way to school on my bike. Gerard and I hade talked for awhile last night, but there was no action, none really, I was happy for that.
He was careful he didn't touch me; I knew he was afraid I would get uncomfortable. Gee was actually careful with everything when he was around me. But today I was headed toward school. Belleville High wasn't the best place to go to school; Gerard knew that, he had gone there. Even though I was seventeen I lived alone. I guess my parents wanted me out faster then I expected, as soon as I was gone they left to go to California, I don't know where they are now, I don't really care.
But as surprising as it is, I'm called a freak, Goth, or maybe even Emo. Some people shot dirty looks at me, some were scared and some said: "Well hi dark one." I ignored them. It was better then being a cheerleader, they had to show too much body and loved it when boys joined the team, it made me sick. Then I saw Nicole, one of my wanna be friends, she came running toward me.
"Tell me all about Gerard! Every detail!" She squealed.
"What?" I asked.
"I saw him take you into the tour bus yesterday! Come on, you have to tell me everything!"
"Please don't ask me about him, he's just...a normal guy."
"Rose, your talking about Gerard Way you can't say-"
"I know who I'm talking about Nikky! I'm tired of you all acting like he's a god! He is like everyone else, and has feelings like everyone else! Have you ever thought that?"
"What's wrong with you today Rose?"
Then she left. Today was going to get worse, I already knew it.
Lunch was when it happened. We were allowed to eat outside in the grass when it wasn't raining. I sat alone today, I knew that was an idiotic thing to do but I wasn't really thinking, I was in the doldrums, deep in my train of thought when someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me up to my feet. I nearly choked.
"How's it going oh dark one?" I heard a high voice say.
I already knew who it was, Pricilla Lerebours. The most Prep person I knew.
"Nothing going on Prep, just thinking about how much of a b**ch you are." I said smartly.
She flung her curly blonde hair at me, she was a cheerleader, and most of them did that. Her group was behind her, watching. Pricilla popped her pink bubble gum and I popped my blue. The suddenly a prep ran up and pulled my hair, I screamed and everyone decided to join in. The girls bruised me and hurt me while the guys came and touched me wherever they pleased. The other dark girls and guys just watched while I was hurting and screaming. Then they suddenly all stopped and the field seemed clear, I honestly thought I was dead.
But then I saw Gerard running toward me, my hands were clenched to the grass and I was on my knees on the ground. Then I felt a searing pain in my stomach, I held it. Gee was finally next to me and helped me up. Everyone was astonished and surprised. The Goths and Emoz were worshiping the ground he walked on, especially Nikky. I was in too much pain to give her a dirty look. I looked up at Gerard's face, it had mixed emotions. He looked worried, sad and angry all at the same time.
I knew he was on the verge of cursing everyone out, especially the guys, but silently he took me in his arms and we headed toward the gap in the bushes I always used to skip school or escape teenage violence.
_
"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner." He said as we entered the bus.
"I'm fine..."I stuttered.
"Yeah, are you sure about that?"
He led me to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and nearly screamed. Most of my body was filled with bruises and I had a black eye.
"I won't let them hurt you again, I was...distracted." Gee said.
"By what?"I was still staring at the mirror.
"The guys came back from the club this morning. Their a little stoned."
Right then Mikey passed by holding a beer bottle, he did a double take.
"Whoa, what happened? You look like you got attacked by bears."
"It was teenagers." Gerard said to Mikey.
"Worse." Mikey said then walked away.
Gerard put his hand on my shoulder; he slid my blouse off a little.
"May I?" He asked.
I hesitated. But somehow I trusted him.
"Sure." I said hesitantly.
Gee closed the door silently and then slid my blouse off careful and slowly, examining my cuts and bruises until my blouse was fully off.
"This looks bad; maybe you should go to the hospital..."
"NO."
"Ok then, but maybe you should stay here tonight, ill be your personal nurse."
He smiled.
"I don't know...why do you want me to stay here?"
"I just don't want you to get hurt again." Gerard sighed.
"Fine, but if I find that you're planning to...do something, I'm leaving and never coming back..."
Even my own words hurt me.
"I promise."
3. The very Unpleasant NightAlthough everyone thought Gerard was all big and tough and could do anything like in a comic book, he seemed friendly and normal like everyone else. He let me sleep in his bed while he slept on the couch in the bus.
I hesitated but finally gave in.
"Are you sure? I can sleep on the couch." I said to him as I went into his room for bed.
"No, you sleep here, you're my guest and I wouldn't make you sleep on that thing."
I shrugged and sat on the bed, it was the softest thing I ever felt.
"You can lock the door...you know...if it makes you more comfortable." He said.
"Thanks." I said.
Gee left and I locked the door. It wasn't that I didn't trust him; it was that I didn't trust the other guys and I felt safer locking it. I sat on the bed again. It was funny I was sitting on the bed of a rock star without the rock star trying to do it with me. I laid down and closed my eyes.
-
I couldn't sleep; I was trying to sleep for an hour. I was curled up in a ball holding my knees. My body ached all over, if I was at my house I would have screamed but I was in My Chemical Romance's tour bus and I didn't want to wake Gerard up and get him worried or call 911, but there was worse, like waking Frank up and turning him on while he was stoned, not the best thing to do. I rolled out of the bed and looked at the clock, it read 3. Good. Still enough time to sleep.
But instead I unlocked the door and came outside of Gee's room. I opened it slowly so Gee wouldn't wake up. I silently made my way to the refrigerator for a lemon. They were all out. I groaned. I closed the fridge and turned around. I saw Gerard sleeping silently on the couch. He looked amazing sleeping I had to say. It was like peace had hit the world again, world peace. Light on my feet I made my way over to him. The moonlight from the window made him look even paler, which I thought was impossible. He was a perfect pale. His hair was even messier then usual and he had a black t-shirt on with pants that looked to long on him.
Gee looked like a perfect dark angel. And coming from me, that was pretty big. I couldn't help myself. I slowly and carefully slid into his arms like butter. Gee didn't snore but he was a heavy sleeper. I stared at him for about a half an hour. Gerard was beautiful. I cuddled next to him and my head ended up on his chest. That was how I fell asleep, but my dream was awful...
I was getting beat up again, but Gerard didn't come at all, I was screaming and I could tell my lipstick and eyeliner was everywhere. I felt blood dripping from my mouth and from some places I didn't need to talk about. I was clutching on to something but I didn't know what. My screaming became ear splitting shrieks. I could just see the words GAME OVER in the distance as if my life was a trick or a game god had made because he was bored, as if my life meant nothing, I was going to die, and there was nothing I could do about it. I could here a voice though, it sounded like an angel.
"Rose? Rose! What are you doing! What's wrong?"
He said it over and over...
I woke up screaming and crying, Gee looked scared, concerned, and shocked. The thing I was clutching on was his shirt. He was holding on to me tightly.
"Are you all right? What happened?" was what he asked in panicked voice.
I stopped screaming and crying realizing it was just a dream. I then realized all the guys were standing over me. Bob, Frank, Mikey, and Ray. They didn't look drunk at all, well at least not anymore.
"It was...nothing." I said, my voice shaking a bit.
"Don't scare me like that Black Beauty." Gerard said, calm and relived now.
His grip lessened and I let go of him. The guys realized they were crowding me and headed back to their rooms.
"They'll introduce themselves later." Gee whispered.
I looked at his watch; it was six in the morning. Then Gee spoke.
"Why did you join me on the couch anyway?"
"I couldn't sleep." I shrugged but the real reason was that I couldn't hold myself back.
"So you come to sleep with me?"
I nodded playfully, as if I was a child.
He smiled. Gee's hair was a lot messier then before, as if he got hit by a truck, I wondered why. I could see all the places I clutched onto during my nightmare by the wrinkles on his clothes, I noticed that I clutched in the wrong place. He saw me staring there and I blushed a bit.
"Sorry for...you know." I said quietly.
He shrugged. "It didn't hurt."
But by the look on his face I knew that that was what really woke him up and that it REALLY hurt. I could see the dried up tears. I smiled and traced them.
"You know, if I didn't know better I would have said that I liked it." He whispered.
And once again I could see on his face that he kind of did like it.
"I hope you didn't get the wrong idea."
"Well, I was kinda surprised. And I didn't expect you to be sleeping next to me."
This conversation was making my stomach tingle a bit.
"You have a really tight grip you know."
"I'm sorry..." I said.
Right then Frank passed by and made a face as if mocking Gerard when he was crying.
"Go fu** yourself Frank."
"I rather fu** miss dark over here." Frank gestured to me."You know, strong grip, that's what I like in girls."
I scooted toward Gerard a bit. Gee noticed.
"If you do anything I don't like with her, Frank, I swear you'll wake up dead."
"Ok ok, haven't seen you this protective since you dated Eliza Cuts." Frank left the room.
"Gerard...I don't know if I should stay any longer..." I said quietly.
"Why? Because of the guys? They're not as bad as they say they are."
I got up and moved to the bedroom; Gerard followed and locked the door. I laid down on the bed and he laid down beside me, he flinched a bit as his legs came together. I laughed. He smiled. I curled up next to him but as I moved my hand on his chest he sucked his teeth. That's when I knew I hurt him before during my nightmare. I lifted up his shirt and I found bruises all over his chest. And even some bleeding cuts, I gasped.
"I did that." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
"I didn't want you to worry...its okay, really!"
"No it's not Gerard! What if I have another nightmare! I don't want to hurt you!"
"I don't care if it kills me if I sleep with you, Rose."
I flinched at the words kills and me.
"What if it does? And if I hurt you so much, why didn't you get up?"
"I wasn't going to leave you there crying and screaming, love."
I ran my hand lightly over his chest and he groaned.
"That hurts?"
He nodded, he didn't look at me, but I could see the pain on his face. I suddenly understood the words "Love hurts". I had been rough with him and held him to hard and this is what I got. I could see new tears forming in his eyes.
"You must really hate me." I said.
"I could never hate you Black Beauty."
"Stop that!"
"Stop what?"
"You're trying to hold back your anger! Go ahead! Yell at me! Kick me out of the tour bus!"
"I'm not going to do that!"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not angry with you, it wasn't your fault. I may not be able to do a few concerts but I'll heal. I don't care if I get hurt, I care if you do."
I wiped away the tears that were streaming down his face.
"I don't even want to know how bad it is down there." Gestured to his private area.
"Actually, that's what you were holding on to the most." He smiled like he enjoyed it.
"I bet you're afraid to get in a fight with me."
"I'm even more afraid to have **x with you."
I smiled.
"My affairs aren't as rough." I said.
I kissed him lightly on his lips, but I got too close and he jerked away. Gerard looked ashamed at himself. I sighed and turned my back toward him, silently I cried, not sobbing but it ran down my cheeks. I had been stupid; I couldn't touch him now that I really wanted to.
"Gerard, I'm so sorry."
"Love, you can touch me now if you really want to, I won't stop you from that."
I turned around.
"You're crying." He said.
Gee kissed my eyelids and squeezed me a bit and he yelped. This time I was the one to jerk back, but he held me again and tried to contain his pain. That was when he kissed me. He cried a little while he did so and he did some groans of pain not happiness, I kissed him back for three seconds then stopped but he kept kissing me, he made his way down my neck nibbling on it.
"Gerard stop!"
But he didn't seem to hear me. His hand was now under my shirt and near my bra line.
"Gerard! GET OFF!"
I shoved him and he yelled loudly.
"I'm sorry, but you're taking it too far." I said.
"I couldn't control myself, next time I will. You're too amazing for me, love."
Gee looked excited but when he saw I was upset his smile faded.
"Fine, you draw the line, as soon as I here the word stop from you I'll stop."
I nodded and headed toward the bathroom to clean up. All I knew was that I was never going to tell Nicole this.
4. The Weirdest Day Of My LifeIt was about noon when Gerard said that he needed to leave for awhile. The guys still were sleeping but Gee needed to go to an interview by himself.
"Love, it's only a few hours, I'd cancel but it's for Fuse and the band really needs this."
"I understand completely, but if you're leaving I'm not staying."
Gee was still in pain but I helped bandage him so it he wouldn't hurt himself every time he got touched.
"But Rose, please stay, Ray will make sure no one touches you."
"How long will you be gone?"
"About three hours, do whatever you want here, just stay."
I nodded them he kissed me on the forehead and left but then I ran straight for the refrigerator for a lemon but they were still out. I sighed and closed it. Sucking on a lemon was the only thing that calmed me down. The sourness in it just did that to me.
"If you're looking for the lemons Frank stashed them all in his room." I heard Mikey say.
I spun around, he was standing right behind me, and he backed up a little.
"Why would he do that?"
"For the same reason you would." Mikey shrugged.
Mikey lead me to Frank's bedroom and to where his underwear were. Millions of lemons were there, weird of him to do that. But that was just Frank; he was a weirdo, like me. I took one and ripped it open and began to suck on the first half. Mikey looked like he was about to laugh, but I didn't care. I offered him the other half.
"No thanks, I'm not touching what's been next to Frank's underwear." He laughed.
I shrugged and saved the other half for later.
"Come on, the other guys want to introduce themselves."
He took me by the hand, I put the lemon in my pocket and he took me to the main part of the bus. All the guys were there. Ray and Bob were playing Guitar Hero, and failing, and Frank was trying to block their view from the screen.
They abruptly stopped playing around and came to stand around me.
"I'm Frank Iero, at your service." Frank said proudly.
"Bob Bryar." Bob said and hugged me.
I was a little surprised.
"Bob's a hugger." Frank said.
"Raymond Toro." Ray said and shakes my hand normally. Frank rolled his eyes.
"Mikey Way." Mikey finishes and kisses my hand.
"You're such a goodie two shoes Mikey, idiot." Frank said."And we call him Milky Way."
Mikey flushed."I'm not the one who hides lemons in his underwear place!"
"Well I don't have toe nail problems!"
"Guys!" Ray said. "We have a guest."
It had only been an hour, two more to go.
_
I stayed in Gee's room most of the time, the guys occasionally came in and we talked. But it didn't feel right without Gerard. Finally he was back, I didn't hear him but Ray did start to talk to him.
"Yeah, Frank raped her; she's in your bedroom right now."
Unsurprisingly Gee burst in, anger and fury on his face.
"Rose are you alright?"
Ray started to laugh. Gerard looked relieved. He came to sit on the bed next to me.
"How was it?" He asked.
"Awful..."
"You'll get used to them."
Gee grabbed me and laid down on the bed with me in his arms.
"How was the interview?"
"Awful..."
I laughed.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and he groaned a little. I let go.
"I have to be careful with you..."
"No you don't, you can do whatever you want with me. Ignore the yells of pain, I can take it."
"I don't like hurting you Gee."
"I don't care if you hurt me."
"I don't really want to talk about this."
"Then don't talk, just promise me you won't hold back if I'm in pain."
I said nothing, I wasn't going to make that promise. He sighed. Gee took my hand and slid it down to his...you know.
"Go ahead, squeeze, and cause me the pain."
"No! I'm not going to do that! Why would you want me to?"
"Because I want to show you that all the pain in the world won't make me stay away from you. Just squeeze! As hard as you can and as long as you want to!"
"You're insane!"
"Insane about you. Do it!"
I did as I was told. I couldn't believe I did it and actually hurt him. He clenched onto the sheets as if holding on would stop the pain. The lower part of his body shot up a bit in shock. He was looking down at me, grimacing in pain. Then he looked up at the ceiling and yelled. His jeans and underwear started to slide down a bit, then I let go, but he took my hand and slid it down his underwear and that's when I felt it,he tuged at my fishnets a little, I felt that I was on the road of losing my virginity, he made me squeeze. His yell became louder.
"No! Stop it Gerard!"
Gee let go of my hand and I shot it back out of his jeans. I was shocked. He didn't say anything; he just stared at the ceiling. The guys were banging on his door.
"I shouldn't have done that, I'm such an idiot."
There was a waterfall of tears running down his cheeks.
"No you're not an idiot, Rose, I love you so much, if you were someone else, I would have probably killed you. I love you my Black Beauty."
5. Draco is BackThat Saturday night Gee wanted to sleep with me, but I was still afraid. Just lying down next to him scared me. This dark angel's only weakness was me. I pondered the thought, Black Beauty and Dark Angel, it fit, The Dark Angel's Black Beauty, I almost laughed at how good it sounded. But at the moment Gerard and I were trying to make the decision whether or not to sleep together tonight.
"It's not like we're going to have **x." He said.
"Yeah but I can't control myself in my sleep Gerard."
We were in the main room in the tour bus, all the other guys were watching us on the couch, and Mikey looked serious about his brother on the edge of getting hurt again. Ray wasn't very interested but it seemed like he was watching us like a episode on TV. Bob and Frank looked entertained and amused.
Gee shooed them away and they left the room.
"Rose..."He held my hands."Just this once, for me..."
Gee looked into my eyes and I nearly fainted, his charms struck everyone, even a girl like me. Gerard's eyes were hazel, but seemed more then a color when he was staring straight at you. They had this spark that just made me tingle. I nodded my head.
"Fine." I could really say anything else.
He smiled, and did something I didn't expect him to do. He swung me in his arms and carried me to his bed room. I was astonished; he looked like he was struggling a little because he was hurt not because I was fat, I was very light actually, underweight. When we got into his room he laid me on his bed and locked his door. I guess he always locked his door.
"But Gerard, as soon as I hurt you, even a little, just get out of the room, please."
"I'm not going to leave you, love. In fact, if you want, we'll get clothes from your house tomorrow, you can stay with us, the band."
I stared at him as he turned off the light and pulled me in his arms. We were chest to chest, and our mouths were only an inch away. His arms were wrapped around my waist and my arms were around his neck, he didn't hurt as much as this morning, he was a lot better.
"Don't worry; I'll learn to control myself."He whispered.
"I honestly don't want you to."
"Apparently I can't keep up with you, first you want me to be slow with you and then..." He licked his lips."You want me to...misbehave."
I didn't answer nor kiss him, I just stared into his eyes and then I looked down and closed my eyes. After a while my head ended up on his chest but I was still awake, he was asleep. I knew because of his slow and steady breathing. I couldn't sleep knowing I might hurt him. But I was get woozy, and then everything faded to black...
I woke up about five minutes later, I was clutching on to him again, but not in a way that would hurt him, he was still asleep. I slowly let go of him and turned my back to him. I wasn't about to hurt the only one cares for me.
_
It was about 6 in the morning when Gee stirred. He was surprised to so me on the other side of the bed and I was surprised he woke up so early.
"Rose...haven't you ever heard of face your fears?"
He sounded a little mad. Maybe frustrated.
"No, but I heard about avoiding them."
He sighed angrily.
"I'm sorry Gerard." I turned around.
He didn't answer; he just stared up at the ceiling. I got him angry, great.
"All I ask is ONE night, Rose. "
"I'm not ready, Gerard. You're going to fast!"'
"To fast?" He sat up and stared at me. "I've waited patiently on the sidelines for six months for the right moment to approach you! And you say I'm going to FAST!"
Gerard was yelling now. I stayed quiet, I knew one think that my mother had taught me when she was around, never get in a fight with a man. But THIS man, was Gerard Way, the man who was SUPOSED to never cause me pain, right now he was hurting not me, but my heart.
I got off the bed, out of the room and went to the bathroom, and softly closed the door. I sat on the floor and silently let out the tears. I needed to get out of this tour bus. I stayed inside the bathroom for half an hour when I heard Gerard and Mikey talking...about me.
"She says that I'm going to fast."
"Well Gee, let's see, just the other day you forced her hand down your pants and made her...squeeze your balls."
I shivered at the memory of that.
"Shut up Mikey, but your right. SHE'S right. Maybe I am going a little to fast. Have you seen her...?"
That's when I opened the door a crack. Gerard looked at me apologetically. I closed the door again.
"Rose..." He whimpered. He sounded right next to the door.
"Go f*ck Frank." I said.
"Rose, I was stupid, I wasn't acting like me at all, you're right, I am going to fast, I guess I was just too stupid to admit it."
That's when I knew he would never leave the door. I opened the door fully. He was standing right there, with his hair sticking up and his PJs. He smiled, I was still frowning. His smile faded.
"Rose...?" He said quietly.
Gee knew I couldn't resist him looking so vulnerable. I jumped right at him and kissed him, I didn't really know why I did that. Something in my head just told me to do it. He kissed back for only about two seconds, and then pulled back.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you. It won't happen again."
"No Gerard, I'm going to sleep with you tonight and this time, I'll be squeezing you until you can't breathe."
He smiled.
"Finally..." He whispered in my ear.
It sent chills down my spine. He was behind me now and I could feel his breath on my throat. This was going to be a long day.
_
As Gee was taking a shower I was hanging out with the guys. Then Frank came up to me with a photo.
"I knew I had heard you name from somewhere."
"What do you mean?"
He handed me the picture. I gasped. It was me as a little girl, in second grade to me exact. And I was in my school play, the scene where I had to kiss the little boy who was playing the prince.
"Where did you get this?" I asked.
The little boy's name was Draco. Frank laughed.
"That's ME. I changed my name from Draco to a normal name."
I gasped even louder, Draco who was now Frank and I were best friends. We did everything together, that is, until we moved to different schools. Draco was held back many times, that's how we knew each other. I stared at Frank, I DID recognize him. The glint in his eyes gave it away.
"Draco?"
Frank smiled. "It's Frank."
I hugged him, he hugged me back.
"Just to tell you, you're an awesome kisser." He said as we pulled away.
I laughed. The shy little guy who was afraid to talk to anyone was right here in a rock band and the one to be annoying.
"I liked you're old name better."
"I thought it stood out too much." He shrugged.
"What happened to the shy little boy I knew?"
"He realized his life needed to be less boring and more fun."
Bob was on the couch right next to us eating Ritz crackers and watching us like we were his favourite show. Frank snatched the crackers and started to eat them.
"I was eating those!" Bob yelled.
"You're fat enough already!" Frank snapped.
I tried not to laugh, I failed.
6. Gerard's SecretAfter we dropped by my house and I packed my clothes into the bus, it was raining. I stared out the window as we drove with my hand on my cheek, thinking. Frank, Bob, and Ray were goofing off again but I didn't know where Mikey and Gerard were. I didn't really care at the moment. I was in my own little world. Then I realized, I didn't have to go to school anymore. I had a rock star boyfriend who could get me out of anything.
I sighed at the thought. 'Look at me now mom.' I thought. She would have never thought I would be here. With no worries. I smiled.
The rain became harder as I was thinking of the past, when she was around...
_
FLASHBACK
_
"Elisabeth! What are you doing?"
I was eating chocolate that I found in the refrigerator. My heart fluttered as I realized I wasn't allowed to eat chocolate, my mother said it wasn't healthy for me, which I didn't get because everyone else in school ate it.
"Eating chocolate..."
I closed my quick enough to not see her beating me, I felt it, but if I saw it I would burst into tears. I was only a seven year old; I was supposed to eat chocolate.
"Just because your father eats it doesn't mean you have to eat it!" my mother yelled.
I knew never to yell back at my mother or it would end in bruises and bloody cuts. But this time I HAD to talk back.
"But ma...everybody eats it...why cant I?" I asked quietly.
It ended like I knew it would end. My mother winning and me sitting in my room with a box of band aids, trying to stop the bleeding. I sighed painfully as I put pressure on one of my cuts.
"Are you okay?" someone asked.
"I don't know." I answered back.
I knew who it was, it was Draco who lived a block away from me. He was at my window, watching me painfully try to recover.
"That looks like it hurts." He said.
"It does, a lot."
_
I shook the memory out of my head and went into Gerard's bedroom. It was empty. I sat down on the bed staring at my hands, look at what I have become. Some unknown person, but I still have Draco. I lay down (which you will soon learn was a big mistake).
Someone came in but I didn't care who it was, I was sprawled on the queen sized bed closing my eyes when I heard Gerard speak.
"Rose...I'm sorry..."
Gerard sounded strange.
"Gerard?"
I propped myself on my elbows only to be pushed down. I swallowed my scream.
"Gerard? What's going on?"
He was on top of me looking down at me sadly.
"I didn't want to do this...but I can't help it, and I have no choice..."
"No, wait! Please! What happened Gerard!"
That's when I saw it, I screamed.
"No! Get away!"
I tried to push him away but he was stronger, keeping my whole body down.
"This is impossible!"
I saw it again...a fang was prodding out of his mouth, it was short but it gleamed a bright white. My eyes widened.
"Stop struggling, it will only make this harder..." he whispered
Gerard held onto me tightly and wouldn't let go, instead of obeying I struggled even harder. I tried pushing him away dozens of times but it was useless. After about 4 seconds my hair brushed away from my neck and his eyes gleamed a blood red. That was when he pinned down my arms and I couldn't move. As his mouth was a few cementers away from my throat he hesitated, he was making a noise I couldn't really explain, his cold breath was brushing against my neck, and I felt frozen. I could hear him mumbling "No" a million times under his breath. He was holding back I realized, he loved me that much. I felt a tear drop on my neck.
But then his mumbling stopped and I felt a quick sharp pain in my neck, I didn't scream, it actually felt...good. It felt like I had no worries, no duties. I closed my eyes. After awhile he began to back off, but I didn't want this feeling to stop, I held him tightly and with a hand pushed his head harder to my neck.
I could feel him smile against my throat and he gladly kept on drinking, then it turned into a instant frown.
"No. Stop!" He mumbled still on my neck.
Gee was holding onto my throat gently and was treating me gently when he hastily jerked away.
"No..." I sighed gleefully with a drunken smile on my face."Please don't..."
I knew when this was finished I would be shocked horrified maybe even nauseated. But right now I didn't care, my arms lingered around his neck. He was looking down at me, ashamed. Gerard was above me with blood dripping down his mouth. I wiped it away and came back to reality.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.
"I didn't want you to leave me..." he looked away from my face.
"This whole time I slept with you, and I was causing you more pain then I expected." I sighed.
"Rose, please stop worrying about me when you are the one who lost gallons of blood not to long ago."
My numbness then passed and now I was horrified, I pushed him off of me. But then I was scared. Then I was angry. I didn't know what to feel anymore. So I went back to numbness. I took some blood from my neck and touched his tongue with my bloody finger. I then felt a sharp tooth and I pulled away.
"I couldn't take it anymore..." Gee whispered." The guys don't know, Mikey doesn't know, only you and my mother."
"How did this happen?"
"No one really knows, I was just born with a thirst for blood. The doctors at the hospital classified me as a vampire... I'm the first..."
7. The Unbearable Bloodlust"Don't let me hurt you again Rose." He was staring at the ceiling.
"It didn't hurt, it felt good."
"Don't say that!"
Gee sat up on the edge of the bed and stared at me.
"I know it felt good to you, but if this happens more often, it could kill you."
He looked away from me. I got a little angry at this point. I got up from the bed and went to stand in front of him. Then I sat on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Gerard, don't you remember when I didn't want to sleep with you because I thought I would hurt you..."
"But this is different! I could ki-"
I silenced him with a kiss. But this kiss was different. It was longer then the other ones and had a lot more tongue. It was the best kiss I would probably ever get in my lifetime. In fact, I could probably kiss him forever. His arms were around my waist and he was fingering my belt. And my arms around his neck held onto him tightly. It could so intense that he soon fell back onto the bed with me on top of him. This was even better then him sucking my blood. But then he held tighter and it was starting to hurt. But if I told him that, he wouldn't kiss me like this again. I moaned a little; luckily he thought it was of happiness. My waist was starting to hurt a lot more.
But I refused to let go. When he started to pull away I only held on tighter. But in the end I ended up pulling away, gasping from air but also because of pain. We were both breathing heavily.
"Wow..."He said." I didn't know you could French kiss that."
I didn't respond, I was in too much pain, maybe he wouldn't notice. But then he removed him arms.
"Shi*!" he yelled.
"What?" I asked.
"I'm sorry my Black Beauty, I'm sorry I hurt you..."
"How did you know?"
He gently brushed by where he was holding and I actually let out a scream.
"Oh god." He whispered. "It's my fault."
"No it's mine; I wouldn't tell you that I was hurting..."
"Why not?"
I blushed a little and looked away.
"Rose, whenever I'm hurting you, you need to tell me."
"I didn't want you to stop..."
Gerard shook his head.
"One day, love. I could hurt you a lot more."
I couldn't move, or I would hurt myself. My waist was throbbing. Gerard sighed.
"If I don't kiss you like that, will that help you?" he asked
"No! It won't help me; it'll just make me feel worse." I said.
Even though I was hurting a lot, I started to kiss him again, but he pulled away after about 2 seconds.
"I don't have a desire to hurt you, love."
I sighed and fell asleep after awhile since I couldn't move. But after what seemed like seconds I woke up to find Gerard sleeping and that it was night. I slid my hand up to his mouth and felt the sharp fang again, but this time it cut though my skin, then Gerard stirred and I felt his tongue lick my finger, he woke up because of my blood. His eyes opened and he took my wrist and gently pushed it away from his mouth.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered.
"Don't be, I want your blood...badly."
"Then why won't you drink it?"
"Like I said before, I don't have a desire to hurt you."
"What happens if you don't suck blood?"
"I die." He sighed.
I gave him my wrist and closed my eyes.
"Just do it." I whispered.
"Rose, no."
"Gerard you could die!"
"You're wrong, I will die."
"NO!" I yelled. "I won't let you!"
Gerard sighed and picked me up gently and put me on the other side of the bed and started to leave the room.
"I'm sorry. I can't sleep with you tonight..."
He left and closed the door, I tried to get up and follow him but the pain in my waist hurt too much. I fell asleep.
_
I woke up again in the morning to find Gerard over me, he was at my neck, not drinking it, but licking my neck. He was licking slowly and it made me shiver.
"You're awake." He whispered in my ear.
"What do you think woke me up?"
"I can't help it." He sighed.
"Then don't."
"Please, just another taste and I'll be fine."
Painfully I pushed him gently off me and got up.
"I don't know..." I said playfully. "You said you didn't want to suck my blood."
He gulped and was staring at my throat. Then his eyes turned blood red and he pinned my against the wall, fast. I screamed in pain, but then he drank. I felt numb again, I slid down and he slid down with me. Gee was over me, with his fangs plunged into my neck. I grabbed onto him for support because I was beginning to feel woozy. I was beginning to cry.
Then he finally stopped, breathing heavy. He was all over me. His eyes were watery too. I was still clutching onto him scared. Gerard was so close to killing me.
"I'm a monster, Rose. I couldn't control myself..."
Gerard licked the blood from his lips. His eyes were now hazel again. I shivered. He put his mouth to my neck again but he didn't drink, he just licked away the blood. He got off me, but then he collapsed.
"Gerard!"
I went over to him and held him in my arms. My waist was throbbing painfully.
"You know, it's hard not to suck your blood when I really want to." He said. "I still want more..."
8. The Beach Is More Like HeavenThat night we were in the Keys of Florida. The band had a concert the next day so I wouldn't have much time with Gerard, even worse, he wouldn't have much time with me, which would lead to a lot of pain for him. The bus stopped for once. So we could go outside again.
I fell asleep alone that night; Gerard was busy writing a song with the band. But hours later I woke up to find he wasn't next to me. It was 1 in the morning. I sighed and went outside his room, everyone was sleeping. I looked outside to find Gerard sitting on the beach across the street. I sighed in relief.
I soundlessly came outside the bus across the street and sat next to him. He looked over at me and said nothing.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"I couldn't stay in that bus much longer."
If you had ever been to the beach at night sometimes it creped you out and sometimes there was moonlight that showed the ocean, well tonight it was pitch black. I shivered at the wind that was coming from the ocean and cuddled with him. He held me but loosely. We were right in front of the waves.
"Have a little fun Gerard." I whispered in his ear.
I gently pushed him on the sand with my body and lied down on him. He didn't refuse.
"I thought you would be scared of me..." he whispered back.
"I was, but it's not your fault."
He rolled us over so he was on top. Then put his face to my neck. His hands were buried in the sand.
"Are you scared now?" he asked.
"No," I said. "I learned to face my fears..."
I could tell this turned him on, but he wouldn't show it, instead he got up and helped up too. What I loved about Key West beaches was that there was no seaweed and the sand was so soft, and the water was never dirty, neither was the beach it's self.
Gerard and I walked farther until we were feet deep in the water; I was getting frustrated because he hadn't said anything else.
So this called for extreme measures.
"Gerard? Do you love me?" I asked.
"Of course." He answered.
"Then you'll forgive me..."
"What do you-"
But I interrupted him but jumping on him and pushing him into the water. I had my arms around his neck and had closed my eyes when I did so. I put so much force into pushing him down. It wasn't really necessary. I thought he would get angry but he was laughing. We were soaking wet but we were still in the shallow part. I was freezing, but I didn't care. I was over him and this time, I had control.
But this got very intense, we did everything but **x. Gerard at that point had been turned on. It went from gentle kissing to belly licks. I didn't know what to say. As we made out on the shore with the water up to our waists, I tugged at the top of his black T-shirt.
"Don't leave me..." I whispered to him.
"I won't ever leave you." He whispered back.
My fingers were in his hair and his hands were at my thighs. Gee hitched my leg around his and I pulled away and blushed.
"I thought you didn't want to be shy..." he said and pulled me closer.
"I don't, but there is one thing that I'm afraid of..."
"And what's that?" he whispered.
"Losing my *irginity."
"You're going to have to lose it sooner or later you know..." he said.
"Why?"
"Because I'm getting tired of waiting." He said. "I have been patient for to long."
This made me shiver and made my whole body tingle. I put my head on his chest. His heart beat was getting faster. I looked up at him again and his eyes we're shining a blood red.
"Oh...please not now, not at one of the happiest times of my life..." I whispered.
"It's not going to happen." He said and shook his head and his eyes were back to normal.
I sighed and put my lips to his. He didn't kiss back, but his mouth was open, he did that when he was tired.
"I'm sorry for pushing you into the water." I sighed.
"I needed it." He laughed.
I kissed him even harder. I bit his lower lip.
"You never get tired do you?"
"Not with you." I sighed. "You're just too god d*mn amazing."
"Is someone getting naughty?" he asked.
"Shut up." I said playfully. "You're not doing anything."
"If I was to do something, it would put your *irginity in danger..." he whispered smiling.
"I don't care anymore..."
But then my waist was throbbing again, I gasped in pain.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I said.
"No you're not..." Gee said frowning.
He began to gently help me up off him and started to get up himself. But I pushed him with my whole body down.
"Please, don't go." I whispered staring at him.
He looked away. "This is dangerous..."
I sighed and got off of him and sat on my knees, staring down at the sand. He sat up next to me.
"Apparently you're becoming responsible."
"I wouldn't say that..."
Gee nuzzled me on the neck, but I pretended I didn't notice.
"You're upset..." he said frowning.
"No, I was just thinking, the Goths and Emoz in my school are all over you, and know everything about you, I knew nothing, and yet, I'm here with you."
I did Kris cross applesauce and he laid his head on my legs.
"Really? I didn't think they knew a lot about me."
I looked down at him, shocked.
"Are you kidding? They were worshiping the ground you walked on!"
"I guess I got used to that."
Gerard got off my legs and hugged me then laid down with me in his arms. I couldn't take it anymore, I was so tired, I fell asleep right there in his arms...
The next morning I woke up still in his arms but he was sleeping, and Frank was poking him in the cheek with a stick. Gerard stirred and spoke.
"Go away..." he mumbled.
"Wake up lover boy; you have a concert remember..." Frank said.
Frank poked him harder and Gerard took the stick violently and stuck it in the sand.
"That was nice..." Frank said.
"And you're annoying, you're going to wake her up." Gerard said without opening his eyes.
"She's already awake, dumb butt."
Gerard's eyes shot open and looked down at me. I was looking up at him.
"Oh God!" He exclaimed.
"Yep, I bet you forgot all about the concert."
I buried my head in his chest and held him tightly. He stroked my hair.
"I'm sorry, love." Gee whispered.
"Ah save the lovey dovey stuff for later we got to go."
Gerard sighed and gently pushed me off him, I didn't hesitate to get off him.
"I promise we'll have more time together..." Gee said.
I just nodded my head.
9. 'I Don't Want To Hurt you'When the guys had left for their concert I plopped myself on Gerard's bed. Being in the tour bus alone didn't feel right. I didn't like the feeling. Then it occurred to me that I hadn't checked my phone in a few days.
When I checked it, there were a million messages from Nikki they all said stuff like, "Are you with Gerard?" "Are you two falling in love?" "You're so lucky to be around Gerard so much!" "I bet you two are planning a wedding!"
I sighed and dialed Nikki's number. She picked up after the first ring.
"Rose! Where are you! Most importantly, where's Gerard!"
"Shut up, Nikki. I'm tired of you gawking at him all the time; he's an average guy who has an average talent for singing."
"You're probably with him right now! No wait…no way! You're in the tour bus aren't you?"
I sighed deeply. She wasn't getting it. I hung up on her. I wasn't going to talk to her for awhile.
I lay down on my back on the bed. I never realized how boring life was without Gee around, or Dra- I mean Frank, or any of the guys. I got my iPod and turned it on, but the first song that started playing was Early Sunsets Over Monroeville from My Chemical Romance, but I now looked at the lyrics differently, I understood them better, I started to understand the story.
It was about two people falling in love…but it seemed that the guy lover was a vampire and couldn't let the girl uncover his secret, he shot her, and her last words were: I Love You.
I put the song on repeat, every word Gerard screamed or sang my heart beat got faster. What if that happened to me? What if Gerard's made up fantasy became real? I rolled over on my side and curled up in a ball.
I don't want that to happen. But if that did happen and if I die with Gerard having a gun to my head…did he love me for me? Or for my blood? The question was repeated over and over as I listened to the song…
We were together, curled so tightly that there was almost absolutely no space between us. Gerard's smile was indescribable; it was all that I wanted to see. It was what made me happy. He held me tightly as my hands ran through his hair.
We weren't in the tour bus bedroom. It looked more like his bedroom. Everything was even softer then I could imagine and the bed sheets were silky. Everything kind of looked like a white blur; I honestly thought it was heaven. But then I saw something black in Gerard's hand. I couldn't make out what it was; he held it tightly and had it against the bed.
As his hand came up I could see the object better, and as my vision became clearer I recognized that it was a gun. My eyes widened but I couldn't move, I tried to struggle but I felt too weak. He put the gun to my head; the metal felt icy cold as it made its way through my thick hair and onto my head.
All I could do was utter the words: "I Love You" as he pulled the trigger. The white, became blood red, then black.
I woke up with a gasp and found myself clutching onto Gerard while he looked worried, tired, and shocked. The sun was setting and my heart beated faster as I realized that the title of the song that made me realize danger said that it was sunset when the girl had died.
I frantically pushed Gerard away from me; I pushed him so hard that he grunted. I quickly jumped out of the bed and ran out of the door, I caught a glimpse of the sunset out of the window before I tripped over something. I realized I still had my iPod on my ears so I had tripped over the wire.
Luckily Frank caught me.
"Are you okay?" Frank asked.
I didn't answer; I hid behind Frank as Gerard ran toward me then picked up my iPod and realized what I had been listening to.
"Oh god…" he said.
"What's wrong with you?" Frank asked me.
I just shook my head.
"Look, if you don't want to tell me, just go with Gerard and everything will be fine."
I didn't look at him; I looked at the floor and nodded. Without even glancing at Gerard, I let him gently guide me back into the room. When he closed the door he just stared at me. Then he spoke.
"I can't believe you think I would do something like that to you." He whispered.
"I…I had a dream... that would happen."
Gerard came closer to me and soon enough I was against his chest, I looked up at him. He had tears in his eyes. Then it occurred to me that I had been clutching on to him when I woke up.
"I hurt you again…both your heart and your body…" I said.
I wanted to see the damage I had done, to see how much pain I put him through so that I could feel ashamed. So I began to tug off his shirt but he grabbed my wrists.
"I don't want you to not touch me any more…to think you have a barrier. I suggest you not look."
"But I have to. I…"
He shook his head.
"I-I don't want to hurt you anymore…"
Forgetting he was hurt since I couldn't see anything I hugged him tightly. He yelled and fell to his knees with me wrapped around him so I fell with him. I quickly let go of him and his head fell to my chest so his cheek was against it. Carefully and gently I held him against me, he was breathing heavily and I could feel his hot breath. I knew he could hear my heart beat. I was his only support, without me there he would fall to the ground.
If I held him any tighter I would probably hurt him again. Right now Gerard was so fragile…I had hurt him so much. Gently I pushed him far enough away from me so that I could lift his shirt. My eyes widened as I looked up and down his body, he looked away from me.
This was worse then the last time…way worse. I somehow, I don't know how, got close to breaking bones. I put a tiny bit of pressure on his chest with my hand and he gasped in pain. To him, it probably felt like a hard punch. I couldn't get lower or I would reach something I didn't want to reach.
"H-how is it down there." I asked him nodding to the area.
He screwed up his face.
"Painful." He answered.
Tears welled up in my eyes; this needed to be taking care of by the hospital.
"It wasn't your fault, love…" he whispered.
"Yes it was! I'm such an idiot! Hurting you over and over! I was so afraid of you hurting me, when the whole time I was hurting you!" I said angrily. Then I sighed. "You need to go to a hospital."
"NO!" he shouted. "No…"
Gerard held my wrist tightly.
"We're going home, love. I can't be on the road any longer. We're headed to L.A."
I sigh and put my head gently on his chest, he sucks his teeth so I automatically get off him, but then he held my head to his chest.
"I don't want you listening to my first album; it will get too many things in your head. Most of the songs in there were just my thoughts…of what could happen with vampires."
I pulled away from him and helped him up.
"You must me tired…maybe you should get some rest…"
I began to gently push him toward the bed. But then his eyes turned bed red. Shocked, I froze. He gently removed my hands from his chest with his eyes locked on me. Then by my wrists, he swiftly pulled me toward him. Before he could get what he wanted I gently put my finger into his slightly opened mouth and felt one of his fangs. Gerard bit down quickly, unable to help himself.
After a few seconds he pulled me even closer and in one fast movement (to quick for a human) moved to my neck. One of his hands held my wrist; the other was on my waist. He led me on the bed with his fangs still in my throat. I couldn't take much anymore, my vision was a blur. After about fifteen minutes, I fainted.
When I woke up Gerard's fangs were still on my neck, but he wasn't drinking blood anymore, he was asleep. He had fallen asleep while drinking my blood. The fangs were beginning to hurt.
"Gerard?" I whispered.
He didn't wake up.
My mind was spinning and my neck began to throb, then there was a sharp pain.
"Gerard!" I shouted and I squeezed his wrist.
His eyes shot open, they were still blood red, and because he was startled, by mistake he plunged his fangs deeper. I screamed in pain, when he bit me, it was never by mistake, he had done it carefully and gracefully. Even when I screamed he didn't stop, sooner or later he would drain me.
"Gerard! Get off!" I yelled.
I had no choice, I put so much pressure on his chest I could hear a muffled yell against my neck, but he didn't stop, if anything he went deeper. Tears began to stream down my face. Gerard held me tightly and pulled me closer to him, one hand was now on my neck the other wrapped around my waist.
There was even more pain. I was breathing heavily, and getting weak. His body began to tense. And he began to pull away when I caught his neck; he was now inches away from my throat.
"Just kill me." I whispered.
I could feel he stare on my neck.
"I'm a monster, I was letting my blood lust take over my love for you." He whispered in my ear.
Slowly and carefully he licked the blood clean off my neck. Then he looked into my eyes, his were still blood red. There was blood dripping from his mouth. His fangs prodded out with blood all over them. I touched them and stared. He pushed my hand away.
"I want so much more. You have no idea how much I want to drain all of your blood…it tastes so tangy and sweet too. I've never come across blood like yours."
"You only love me for my blood?"
"I love you for you my Black Beauty. I just can't help myself with your blood."
I slowly pulled him toward me and kissed him softly. I could taste the blood in his mouth as he kissed me back, I could feel his fangs with my tongue. I held him tighter and wrapped my legs around him. Again I heard him yell but it was muffled by the kiss. All the parts of my legs were on him, from my ankles all the way up to my upper thigh. I didn't even care that my private area was up against his. But when he yelled I began to pull away but he only kissed me harder and put his hand on my upper thigh. When I looked into his eyes again, they were the beautiful hazel that I loved.
They were bright with excitement. He loved this. Gee began to moan in happiness as we French kissed. So far, this was the best French kiss I had had with Gerard. When he pulled away he spoke.
"You have to promise me something, love."
I stared at him. What more could he possibly want?
"You have to promise me that when we get home, to L.A, that you'll do something for me…"
"And what's that supposed to be?" I asked.
"That you finally come around to having s*x with me."
I smiled and nodded. "I promise"
10. 'It's Frank'When I woke up it was morning and Gerard was asleep. There were dried up tears on his cheeks as he sleeps peacefully. Then I realized why he had been crying, I was sprawled all over him. I gasped and lifted myself off him, my knees and hands on the bed and around him, but not touching him. He grimaced to the sudden movement.
"Ow…" he whispered.
Gee slowly opened his eyes. He frowned; Gee knew that I wasn't going to touch him like I did before until he was healed.
"You must have been in a world of pain last night." I whispered.
"Actually, I thought last night was heavenly…considering that you touched me like never before and…"
Gerard looked me up and down and licked his lips. His eyes went red. I scrambled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed. He sat up and put his head in his hands. He had a migraine. Then he stared at me, his eyes still red.
"I promise not to drink your blood anymore, but…"
At the speed of light he had me pinned to the bed with him over me. I was breathing heavily as he licked the two small wounds on my neck.
"Just let me have a sip once in a while…maybe even a lick…it just makes me feel better."
When Gerard was in the mood for blood, he seemed way sexier, that was for sure, but at the same time terrifying. It was like he was a different person.
"I don't know how I can lust for more blood. It pains me to say that the whole time you were sleeping last night I wanted to get more blood from you…you are in fact my first human victim…but you are also someone I love."
"Get off of me Gerard." I said weakly.
"I wish I could." He smiled. "You're just too much for me…"
"Gerard? What's wrong with you?" I said frantically.
"Whenever I get bloodlust, I seem to get a feeling, and it won't go away until I get what I want, but the problem is, the next time I drink from you, there is a 99% chance I will drain you."
"No! Get off of me! Draco!" I screamed.
After two seconds Frank was banging on the door.
"Rose? What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong Frank! She just had a nightmare!" Gerard yelled at Frank.
"I want to speak to her!" He yelled back.
Gerard sighed and spoke to me in a whisper.
"I didn't say I was going to drain you, I'm going to try my hardest not to drink your blood…"
Gerard's eyes turned back to normal and he let go of me, and I flung my arms around his neck, crying.
"Don't scare me like that!"
"Ow…"
I noticed that I was holding onto him tightly so I let go. Then I remembered that Frank was still at the door. I quietly got of the bed and opened the door. Frank's hair was all messy and he was in his PJs, I must have woken him up. He looked worried.
"What did he do? Did he hurt you?" He asked me in a rush.
I rested my hand on my neck and he apparently took that as a sign. Frank removed my hand off my neck and saw the twin cuts there. He ran his hand over them.
"I should have known…" He whispered.
Frank gently pushed me aside and away from the door. But then I grabbed his arm.
"What do you mean?" I asked him, my voice shaking.
I felt so small, so weak, and most of all scared. Frank sighed and took my hands.
"I'm an idiot for not realizing what he is…"
"And how do you know about what he is..."
"You have no idea Rose…when Vampires are born, they are accidently born…and it's my job to kill them…"
"What?" I screamed.
At that moment Gerard appeared in front of me, and I was behind his back and Frank's hands were no longer holding mine.
"Don't touch her." Gerard said in a raspy voice.
Frank smiled.
"The oldest and first Vampire who ever lived has been in the same band as me for seven years, and I never knew." Frank said.
"Draco…why would you kill Vampires that mean no harm?" I asked him quietly.
"No harm? How much blood did this bloodsucker take from you?"
Again my hand went up to my neck.
"I'm not letting you hurt her anymore Gerard." Frank whispered.
Frank shoved Gerard against a wall and I stumbled back. This hurt Gerard more then usual because he was already injured. Gerard slid down the wall in pain until he was sitting. But Mikey had just gotten into the room and caught me. Mikey caught on with the problem.
"Everything's going to be alright." He whispered holding onto me tightly.
"No it's not going to be alright! Don't you dare touch him Frank!" I yelled.
I struggled and pulled but Mikey wouldn't let me go.
"Let go of me!" I yelled.
"I can't…I promised Gerard that I wouldn't let you get hurt." He whispered to me.
Frank now had a stake in his hand; he must have had it hidden all this time. He was coming closer and closer to Gerard, but Gerard didn't move, he just sat there with his head down closing his eyes.
"Draco!" I screamed.
He looked in my direction, staring at me. At this point I was crying, with tears streaming down my face. Then he sighed.
"It's Frank…" he whispered.
And then he quickly turned around and struck the stake at Gerard. At that point everything went in slow motion, I managed to elbow Mikey so he let go of me, and just in time, I pushed Frank just a little, he stumbled to his right and plunged the stake into Gerard. I felt the blood splatter on my face but I didn't dare look at Gerard. Then Frank fell back to the ground and was knocked out.
"Rose…" I heard Gerard say.
Automatically I turned my head to Gerard, the stake wasn't in his chest…it was in his shoulder. He wasn't dead. I fell to the ground next to him. He was staring at me and was clutching onto the stake in his shoulder. And then that's when the pain hit him. It usually takes a few seconds for someone to feel major pain after a major accident. Gerard let out a scream. The stake was so deep; it was prodding out of the back of his shoulder a bit. I slowly took the stake and stared pulling it out. He let out another scream, but this one was louder. So I pulled out the stake quick. I didn't even look at Gerard's face, I was too afraid to.
"Rose!" He shouted.
Then he grabbed me and held me against him, he gasped in pain but still held me. Frank had woken up, and he had been right behind me. That's why Gerard had acted so quickly.
"Stay away from her Frank." He said looking up at him.
"You're in no shape to tell me what to do Gerard."
I turned around and caged Gerard behind me with my arms.
"Don't touch him…"
Frank just stared at me sadly.
"I can't believe that someone I had known since I was a little kid would be a killer." I said.
"I can't believe that someone I had known since I was a little kid would be a victim." He answered back.
"You were my best friend Frank…"
"Vampire hunting is a family tradition Rose, I have no choice."
"Just leave him alone!"
Then something metal hit Frank in the head, and he was knocked out again. Standing right behind him was Mikey.
"I wasn't just going to let him kill my brother." He said.
I had just noticed that Gerard had his arm around my waist, he was shaking, and he was scared.
I turned around to see Gerard's blood red eyes. He wasn't scared, he was thirsty.
"You realize this is not my blood…it's yours." He whispered.
My eyes widened, this is how much blood he took from me. I froze as he slowly held me closer and licked the two wounds in my neck, I felt his fangs brush by my neck, but the whole time he was staring at Mikey, Mikey started to back away and left the room. As he did this, I took some blood off of his black shirt and licked it. This time he froze. He took my hand with the bloody finger, and began to suck off the blood. But when he moved his arm he gasped in pain again, his eyes still blood red.
"I lost a lot of your blood, I need more…"
I wiped two of my fingers across the blood and put them in his mouth. Then he started to kiss my cheek. I realized that there was blood splattered across my face still. He was desperate for blood. Gerard began to beckon me closer. I didn't want to hurt him; I kept my eyes on his wound and his bloody shirt.
He was hurt, but he still had the strength to drink even a little blood. Then I stared at his neck. It was pale like the rest of his skin; I brushed my hand over it, and then looked Gerard in the eyes.
"How does it feel to suck my blood Gerard? What makes it so heavenly?" I asked.
"It…It feels like you are renewed, like you have committed one of the deadly sins and are free from it's curse…It feels…like the way you felt when I first bit you… care free, unworried…"
He looked away ashamed of what he just told me.
Then suddenly my leg was throbbing. It got harder and harder until I let out a shriek and held onto my thigh, then I realized there was a huge cut were it was hurting. When Frank had hit Gerard with the stake, it cut through my leg, too. Gerard stared at the blood dripping from my thigh and watched it fall.
"What a waste…" He said.
It throbbed harder and my breathing became heavy gasps. If it hurt this much on my leg. Then how much did it hurt for Gerard? Then I looked at his wound again.
"You know what this means right?"
He frowned and looked up at the ceiling. We would be in L.A tomorrow. He would be well enough for me to keep my promise with him.
"This isn't fair. I should have scared you like I did." He said.
"It isn't your fault. And besides…I'm really not ready…"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because…wait, Gerard how old are you?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"Answer mine first." I demanded.
He sighed.
"It shouldn't matter…" He said.
"Gerard! This could be illegal!"
"I don't give a da*n, Rose. You think rules are going to keep me away from you?"
"But Gerard…"
I fell silent, I wasn't scared of him when he was sucking my blood, but I was scared of him when he took control. He cupped my face in his hands.
"I'm sorry…" He whispered. "This is illegal, I could be put in jail, but all you have to do is pretend you're eighteen, alright love?"
I just nodded my head. Then I helped him up with him leaning only a little on me. I lead him to the bathroom and shut the door. My leg was throbbing like he*l but I didn't care. I started to unbutton his button down black shirt. He smiled and I blushed. Gerard knew that I would be doing this more violently when we were having our affair.
I closed my eyes and pulled off his shirt quickly but softly. I felt blood drip onto my arm. When I opened my eyes, Gee's face was frozen in a grimace. The bruises from last night were still there and on his left shoulder was the biggest wound I had ever seen, it was kind of like the wounds that you would see in a movie about the army.
I quickly got a towel and soaked it with water and began to dab the blood away.
"This will take forever…"
"I can't exactly get into the shower." He said.
My body tingled at the thought of that. Apparently he felt me shiver a little and laughed. For a moment I looked at the rest of his chest, but then it became more then a moment my eyes went up and down his body so slowly and so many times I lost count. I knew it must have been wrong for me to do, but it felt so right.
Then my gaze went to his face, he had a smirk on. He had been looking me up and down. I blushed and backed away a little.
"You've been blushing a lot lately." He whispered.
"Because you make my life so awkward."
"How is it awkward? I think everything we do is natural."
Gerard leaned in for a kiss but I didn't give it to him. He looked rejected.
"I just don't want to hurt you Gerard…"
He sighed in frustration and I started to back away to the door. Then he stared at me.
"You're afraid of me? Even when I'm not thirsty?"
"I-I…" I whispered.
I ran out of the bathroom and slammed the door hard. He didn't come after me so I could tell he was shocked.
The bus had stopped so I ran right out the door and just kept running. It was now about seven pm and the sun was setting. I needed to find some place to hide. It was hard to tell Gerard that I was absolutely terrified of men who were angry. I guess it was because of how my father reacted when he was mad, he would go around my room throwing any object he could find at me. One time he had hit me with my computer and I was knocked out for two days.
I felt someone grab my hand. I turned around to find a man about nineteen maybe eighteen holding my arm. He said nothing. He just stared. His hair was spiked in a punk rock way and he was super thin. He was pale and when I looked into his eyes…they were blood red.
11. L.A. was never This HappyInstantly I shut my eyes, thinking I was dreaming and opened them again. He was gone. I sighed in relieve, my mind was going crazy, vampire crazy. Then I started thinking of Gerard. I ran away from him. God that was an idiot move.
Then I felt low soft breathing on my neck. I turned around to find the eighteen year old man at my neck, staring at it and licking his lips. I opened my mouth to scream but he clamped his hand over my mouth and said:
"Shhhh…"
He held me closer to him while I squirmed. Gerard was going to save me right? I was going to be alright, right? I felt him slowly lick my neck, but too hard, harder then Gerard did it. Gerard did everything so gently, while this guy was holding too tight.
"Mmmm…Your blood was spilled already." He whispered feeling Gerard's fang marks on my neck. "Whoever did this must have been an expert, beautifully bitten, but I think he went a little too easy on you…"
Then everything went black.
I was possibly dead. Maybe my soul didn't make it to heaven or hell. One memory was replayed over and over in front of my vision.
It was when I was thirteen; I had gotten my first real CD. With real music, not the baby stuff that I had watched on T.V. Draco had moved away a while ago and I was left alone. The CD was My Chemical Romance, I Brought You My Bullets, and You Brought Me Your Love. I would mention the title and people would freak. Thinking that the lead singer, Gerard Way, would kill his girlfriend or maybe his wife when he got one.
I fell in love with the music, and Gerard's voice. But I had no idea about him, or how he looked.
All I knew was that he was an inspiration to many people and worked at a comic book store in New York. My mother disapproved of it; she wouldn't let me be who I wanted to be.
She told me if I had ever loved someone like Gerard she would never forgive me. I didn't care. It wasn't like she would treat me any different…
I woke up with a gasp, Gerard was over me and I was pulling at his shirt. I could see the tapes of bandage wrapped around his left shoulder and his hair was wet, he had taken a shower, but he was dressed.
"I-It was just a dream, right?"
He shook his head.
"You fainted. That guy…he was so close, if I hadn't come in time…you would have been gone by now." He whispered.
In one fast movement I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him. He grunted and fell closer to me.
"Do you understand how easy I go with you? I don't want to hurt you, love. I-I try to be gentle, but it's difficult."
This made my grip tighten. Every word he said made me tingle inside. He yelped. And I released my arms.
"I'm too rough with you." I said looking away. "It's a shame I can't control myself by now."
"Funny, I think the same thing about you." He whispered and kissed me gently.
I pulled away. He knew very well how much I wanted to jump at him right, then and there. But I couldn't, because of how hurt he was.
"You have more control then me." He said.
"I just don't want to hurt you."
There was a sharp pain in my thigh again, but I held back my gasp. I wasn't about to show a sign of pain in front of Gerard again. Then I wondered if he was hurting, and if he was hiding the pain, like I was. Gerard got off me and sat on the bed, I sat too.
"What happened to the other vampire on the street?" I asked him.
Gerard looked down at his hands and said. "I took care of him."
"What did you do?" I asked, a little afraid of what the answer would be.
He shook his head and lay back down on his back. I sighed, around this time I would usually take a shower, but I was too afraid to leave Gerard alone. If I did, Frank would surely kill him. I lay down next to him, but barley touching him. Then I fell asleep.
A couple of hours later I woke up in a daze. Something had woken me up. Gerard had me in his arms and yet again dried up tears running down his face, he was awake, but his eyes were blood red. But he wasn't doing anything to take blood from me, not even a drop. He wasn't even looking at me; in fact I think he was avoiding my stare.
He thought I was still sleeping. His hands were shaking and his breathing was desperate gasps. He took one of his hands and started pulling the top of his shirt down, as if the room was to hot for him. He whimpered a little bit and held me tighter; I let out a yelp because he held me to hard.
He looked down at me, he was starting to cry, and tears were streaming down his face. I stared back up at him then said:
"So this is how you are every night?"
"I have no choice." He said.
"Gerard!" I said surprised.
"Just go back to sleep, it will be easier."
I sighed angrily and stood on my hands and knees over him. He stared at me. His eye color didn't fade at all. He licked his lips, but then bit his tongue, trying to control himself. Then he looked away.
"Please, don't tempt me, just go back to sleep."
I took my finger and pricked it with one of his fangs. His eyes widened while a drop of blood hit his tongue.
"Don't do this to me, love."
"I'm not doing anything to hurt you; I'm trying to help you."
"This isn't helping me." He whispered. "It's just making me lust more…"
He grabbed my arms hard, so hard I let out a shriek. From my arms he pulled me down and had my neck to his mouth. This was all done harshly. There were now bruises on my arms; they were shaped like Gerard's hands. He hadn't sucked my blood yet, in fact I think he froze.
He sighed and let me go.
"Just go back to sleep." He whispered.
Dazed I laid down on him again and pretended to sleep. Ten minutes later, he was struggling again. Except this time, he was worse. His eyes were brighter and his hair was sticking up. Every now and then he would glance at my neck. I was too tired to get up, or do anything, I just fell asleep.
In the morning I woke up to find Gerard gone. I got up and realized we were now in L.A. I opened the door from the bedroom and Gerard was sitting on the couch, his eyes were blood shot and there were dark circles under them. Not to mention they were hazel again. I ran over to him.
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"I couldn't sleep at all; somehow your blood became thicker. And when I left you alone, I only felt worse."
He put his head in his hands. I heard screaming and yelling outside. I had almost forgotten that Gerard was one of the most famous rock singers in modern time. Bob came out of his room stretching and he shook his head, and then looked at Gerard.
"Whoa, you're scaring me bro." He said. "You okay?"
"Fine." Gerard said.
Bob shrugged and moved along. Then Frank came out, Frank shot him a disgusted look and Gerard shot him the middle finger. I felt Gerard's forehead with the back of my hand, he was burning up.
"Does lack of blood give you fever, too?"
"It's possible. But rare." He said.
I peeked out the window. Millions of people were out there. Most of them wore wrist huggies and looked Hispanic or something. In fact, they all looked liked they were from different countries.
"I'm sorry about last night. It must have been terrible for you." Gerard said.
"Even worse for you." I answered.
He groaned.
I was on my knees staring out the window; my hands were on the sill. My hair brushed away from my neck as I moved my head to look around. Gerard quickly looked away. I was torturing him, but not purposely.
Then Frank came back into the room and said:
"Figures, the vampire is losing it."
I got off the couch and looked Frank in the eyes.
"How could you become something like this?" I asked.
"I'm only doing what's right." He said boldly.
"'What's right'? Killing innocent beings is 'what's right'?" I yelled at him.
"Rose…" He came closer to me. "Why couldn't you just fall in love with someone normal, someone who won't hurt you? Someone like me?"
Gerard moved to fast for me to even see. He was right in front of me, guarding me and...It sounded like he was…growling. Frank smiled.
"I see, you let your vampire instincts take over." Frank said to Gerard. "Rose seems to trigger them.
"You can't control it, no matter how much you try. One day you'll have two choices, to kill your loved one, or yourself."
"Shut up!" Gerard shouted and pushed him to the ground. But Frank was still smiling.
"Gerard!" I shouted and turned him around. "D-do you want to commit suicide?"
He looked at me sadly then turned back to Frank who was now on his feet.
"And you didn't tell her that would happen? That you would commit the unforgivable sin? Some lover you turned out to be." Frank said.
Before Gerard could say anything, I slipped in front of him and said:
"Just leave him alone! How could you be so selfish? He's been living his life miserably and all you want to do is kill him?"
Gerard leaned on me a little; I had almost forgotten he was hurt.
"All you see is the good in him, Rose."
"And all you see is the bad." I said back.
Frank shook his head and gave up, then left the room.
We were finally inside the house. I'm sure the paparazzi are going to say something about Gerard's wound though. The house was pretty big, three stories, which kind of scared me. Every footstep echoed. I shivered.
I looked back at Gerard who had just closed the door.
"I don't think I can get used to this." I said.
He smiled sweetly. I wasn't acting scared, I WAS scared. Gerard came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered in my ear:
"You're just so innocent aren't you?"
"I didn't think you liked the innocent type." I said playfully turning my face toward him.
Gee leaned in for a kiss, but I slipped out of his arms and stuck my tongue out to him.
"You thought you got me didn't you?" I laughed.
"That wasn't nice!" He said.
And ran towards me but I dodged him. And ran away from him. It kind of became a chase.
Until finally I ran out of breath and I leaned against the wall, he had me trapped; he didn't even break a sweat.
"Surrender?" He asked.
"I would say never, but that would be a lie." I said.
Again he smiled. His kiss was sweet and calm, but not so short. Even when I tried to pull away he barely stopped. How gentle he was got me frustrated, it was sweet, but not enough. But I didn't stop him. After five seconds I pushed it to the next level, the kiss became harder, and I caught him by surprise. I held him tighter and pushed my body against his. His breathing became heavier as if he was struggling. I closed my eyes, letting my body take control.
"Rose, please stop." He whispered in the middle of kissing.
But I couldn't stop, it felt too good. My body tingled as I thought that I was too much for him to handle. He was kissing back though; he didn't want to stop either.
"Rose… please."
He wanted it as badly as I did. Right now I didn't care if he wanted me to stop, why should I?
"No…STOP!" He yelled and pulled away from me and stepped back a couple of feet.
I opened my eyes and realized he was bleeding again, but even worse, his eyes were blood red.
"Y-you're tempting me too much." He said.
"You're bleeding!"
"That doesn't matter, just please, when I say stop it's for your sake."
Gerard sighed shakily staring at me. I blushed accidently and he looked away.
"I-I'm sorry for kissing you like that…I-It was an accident."
"Just remember what I am. I can't push away my instincts."
"But how do you expect me to have s*x with you if you can't even handle a kiss?"
"That's why we need to keep it simple and sweet or things can get bloody."
I sighed in frustration and plopped on the couch.
"I hate simple and sweet."
Then I laid down staring at the ceiling. Gerard came over me with his hands around me, but not touching me.
"God, your blood is becoming thicker every second."
His eyes were still blood red when he started to lean in.
"Gerard…" I said shakily.
"One little sip won't hurt will it?"
He leaned in slowly and I froze. Then with my hands, I tried to push him away on his chest. Then he smiled and said:
"What can I say? I can't help myself…"
My hands moved to his back and I clutched onto his shirt. He licked my neck a little then sunk his fangs into my neck. I didn't scream I just let out a desperate cry. My hands moved to his neck and I closed my eyes and let him work his magic. Then I decided I wasn't going to be weak. I pushed him with full force, he yelped as he staggered off me.
He was completely covered in blood.
"H-how am I not dead?" I said.
"Everything has fallen into place; somehow your blood cells are multiplying themselves." He licked the blood off lips. "It's as if fate wants us to be together."
His eyes were still red. I stood up and pulled the top of my shirt down, reveling my entire neck. His eyes widened and he began to back away.
"Then you can take as much blood as you like." I said.
"B-but, I-I don't want to think that I am robbing you of blood." I stuttered. "It doesn't feel right."
"Gerard, I don't want you to go crazy every single night."
"I'll be fine." He assured.
12. Pain Never Felt So GoodThat night the bodyguards brought in all our stuff. I sat by the pool watching my reflection, I know you all would think this was a perfect love scene and Gerard would come and we would make out and all that junk.
Like I said in the very beginning, this story is too complicated. I would love for this to be a lovey dovey story forever, but it's just not possible. I swirled my reflection with a stick. When I was a kid, I was the loser, everyone hated me and I was badly abused. Look at me now.
I was a rock star's lover, living the life in L.A. And on top of that, I still feel like a loser, unknown and weak. But I'm here with Gerard. Probably living someone's dream. But why did I have to depend on Gerard? I wanted to be independent.
Under my breath I sang the words to my old lullaby that Draco had made up a while ago. I would tell you the words, but it was too embarrassing. It wasn't that it was an awful lullaby, I play a part on the piano, it was that the song was about me. And just thinking about it made me feel awful.
The starry sky twinkled a little too much for my liking. After a while the sky was black and the only source of light came from the pool. I took off my shoes and dipped my feet into the pool. It was cold, freezing. I didn't care.
I was in my PJs, and it was around midnight, the reason I was out here so late was because I knew Gerard would wake up and want to suck blood from me. I didn't want to put him through that pain.
He didn't understand that I loved him too much, and that I couldn't hurt him purposely. As if right on schedule I heard Gerard say:
"It makes me nervous when you're outside so late."
He sat next to me. I refused to look at his face. Was he thirsty or not? I didn't want to find out. But since I couldn't help it I looked at him by the corner of my eye. He wasn't looking either. His eyes weren't blood red; they were more of a light red. He was better now that I hadn't slept with him. He actually got some sleep. Ashamed I looked away again.
"You're better off without me sleeping with you." I said.
"My body is better, but not my heart." He said.
Finally he looked at me. His eyes became a full blood red. He sighed.
"I hate hurting you Rose."
He stood up and held out his hand, I took it and he lead me to the bedroom.
"You need your sleep." He said while he closed the door.
I lay down on the bed. Gerard lay down next to me. I scooted further away from him.
"It's alright…" He whispered.
13. Begging Means It's Time To Take Pills"I think you should get some sleep first…" I said.
He groaned. "That's not fair."
"Am I in trouble for caring?" I asked.
Slowly I got off him and stood up, and he followed. I wrapped his arms around my waist and lead him to the bedroom. It felt too good to be in control. When we were in the bed room I gently pushed him down onto the bed and I lay down on top of him. Again I could feel the throbbing, but it had spread to his mouth.
"Rose, I can't do this…" He said.
"You've made it this far." I said. "Now close your eyes."
Gerard whimpered. But then he did as he was told.
As he tried to fall asleep I watched him and began to trace his features with my finger from his face to his entire body.
"You're going to be fine…" I whispered.
And finally his breathing became even softer and his hesitation ceased. Gerard was finally asleep. But after five minutes his eyes shot open and they were the same red I would see every night, but this time I was awake and the first thing he saw was me. Automatically he looked away, but I turned his face to me.
"Before we can start doing anything…you have to overcome your thirst." I said.
"Love, I can't overcome it, it just keeps coming back to me. It's my instinct."
"Just try." I whispered.
"But I HAVE tried, millions of times…"
"But now I'm here to support you."
He fell silent. Purposely I let my hair fall away from my neck, nervously Gerard began to finger the strap of my bra and bit his lip. With my index fingers I closed his eye lids, and came closer to him. My lips gently brushed against his, leaving him wanting more. But even that left him gasping, he really couldn't take it.
But I had to test him before we had our affair, it was the only way. This time I kissed him harder. He tried pulling away but I was stubborn and held him tightly. When I finished he opened his eyes and smiled sweetly and said:
"I know you want this for us." He held my hands. "But right now, it's just not possible."
"But you were willing to do it before!" I said.
He looked at me sadly. Tears ran down my face.
"Please," I whispered. "Can we just try?"
But the look on his face meant no that we couldn't try. Then suddenly out of nowhere he had me pinned to the bed, I was so confused, I didn't even see how he could have flipped me over. He lowered himself to my neck and licked it softly and slowly. Everything had happened too fast for me. Then he was gone, I heard the door slam and that was it. But then I could hear his heavy shaky breathing on the other side of the door.
Then it stopped and it sounded like he was going downstairs. I pulled on some clothes and followed him. He couldn't see me, but he probably knew I was following. Gerard had pulled on his jeans and was going through closets and draws and almost everything you could open. Then he finally came across a tiny bottle of pills. He took two of them quickly, without using water. His hazel eyes returned and he was back to normal.
Gerard frowned down at the bottle.
"I didn't think I would have to use these again." He said.
"What are they?" I asked.
"They're pills that I was given when I was born. Somehow they help me with my hunger…the last time I used these was when I was seventeen…"
Gee put the pills on the counter.
"I'm sorry Rose. I'm not strong enough to handle having se* with you…well not yet anyway."
Even though I wanted to burst into tears I said:
"It's fine…forget I even tried."
To me and Gerard's surprise this sentence came out coldly. Without saying anything else I went upstairs into the bedroom and locked the door. I felt so rejected, how could he not do it now? Like his hunger was going to be better later.
I sprawled myself on the bed. I was an awful girlfriend, I knew I was. I had pushed him too far. He had to take PILLS. And even when he told me to stop I couldn't…I suddenly hated being a woman. Women have these feelings about men that they couldn't get rid of, and the men were the victims. Apparently Gerard was my victim. I sighed.
Gerard was the man of my dreams, sweet, charming, smart, and he had a way of looking at the world…and not to mention that he was freaking hot. But I had pushed him too far off the edge. I shuddered at the exact words he said to me when I was pushing him too far 'Rose I can't do this…". And all the groaning and whimpering, but he kept obeying, why would he do that? Why didn't he just get me off him and leave? I had been torturing him, but he didn't leave. Until finally his hunger got to him even when he was trying so hard to fight it off. I felt awful knowing what I had done. I was hurting him purposely.
But I wanted it SO bad. And when I was touching him I would always hear a whimper escape him lips. But when I kissed him even that soft kiss left him gasping…I didn't care, it only made me kiss him harder…but then he smiled sweetly…why wasn't he angry? Why didn't he push me off him? Why didn't he scold me?
"Are you alright, love?" I heard Gerard ask on the other side of the door.
"Fine." I said.
Again this word came out coldly.
"You're angry at me?" He asked.
I wasn't angry at him, how could I be? I was angry at myself. Just the thought of me being angry at him when he tried his best made me sick. I guess being rejected for se* made you cranky…kind of like when you had your period…and I guess being rejected made you take your anger out on other people, because when I opened the door I stormed pass Gerard, but he followed.
"Love…I'm sorry…"
"Sorry for what? You didn't do anything!" I said coldly.
"Then why are you upset?"
I stopped walking and faced him.
"I don't know…I guess I'm angry at myself…I pushed you until you couldn't take it anymore and now I feel horrible…"
Gerard hugged me tightly.
"You're a woman…what do I expect? I have no idea what you feel and what runs through your mind."
"We're complicated like that." I said.
Gee smiled.
"But you're so sweet and I'm…nothing compared to you." I whispered.
He frowned and shook his head.
"I'm not perfect Rose. No one is, but you're close to it."
I buried my head in his chest.
"But you know what sucks." He whispered. "I didn't even get to touch you…"
"You can now." I smiled.
He scooped me up in his arms and went back into the bedroom.
"But for now…you can start were you left off…"
"You insane." I said.
"I'm not thirsty…but you seem to be sexier when I AM thirsty…well, I give you permission to push me onward, even if I do became thirsty…just no se*… I'm not ready for that."
"You're going to let me play with you?"
He nodded.
"That's if …you still want to."
"Are you kidding?" I said.
He laughed. Then he lay down sprawled on the bed.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked quietly.
But he said nothing, he just closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh, he knew what was coming, he was kind of just mentally preparing I guessed. I got on top of him, but slowly and as gently as I could, I didn't want to torture him again. It scared me knowing that I was the only one he would allow to torture him. Without opening his eyes he said:
"Love-"
I looked up at him.
"-just pretend I don't have this unbearable hunger…pretend I'm actually normal."
I looked back down and just nodded. How could I pretend he wasn't in pain? That every moment I touched him he was being tortured? I kissed him very softly, shaking a little, I was scared for him. After a few touches and kisses he began to breathe heavier. But by this point I was lost in my own little world. I hitched my leg around him and kissed him with so much force. He whimpered and held me loosely as if saying: 'You can stop any time now.' But I just kept going. He started choking back his yells of pain. Until finally his hand flew to his neck. But to my horror that didn't even make me pause, I tugged at a belt loop on his jeans. I stopped kissing him and his face was replaced with pain. He was beginning to have a hard time breathing.
"Gerard? Are you alright?"
He shook his head and grabbed me with inhuman speed and I choked back my scream. He held me against him and put my head to his chest.
"It's becoming harder and harder." His voice cracked. "And I'm so weak…"
I could hear his heart pounding against his chest. Gerard let out a shaky sigh.
"I-I'm sorry, I guess you can't handle even a few touches any more…" I said.
"No. I can handle it…it's just harder when you're…out of control… apparently I can't satisfy you with only sweet and gentle touching and kissing."
I flushed. And he yelled out as his flew to his neck. And at this point…he started begging.
"Please. Love, just a small bite…"
I stared at him horrified; he looked away, ashamed at himself for even asking. Gerard's hunger only became worse, he kept on getting migraines and he glanced at my neck constantly. His eyes were a deep red but he was physically worse. Then finally I sat on the bed and turned my back to him, I didn't want to watch this. I found out that this was a mistake because I had taken my shirt off during our little game. Gerard let out an ear splitting yell and held onto his stomach and closed his eyes. I jerked back away from him.
But I felt an arm around my waist and a hand at my neck, Gerard wasn't on the bed anymore, he was behind me.
"Please…I'm only begging for a sip."
I whimpered as he squeezed me tightly. But his grip became tighter and I let out a shriek, I was pretty sure I was going to have bruises there later on. My head fell back on his shoulder and I felt goose bumps crawl up his body.
"The temptation is too much to bear…" He whispered.
Slowly my hand made its way up his body. Gerard's heartbeat was fast…inhumanly fast. And his throat was throbbing like crazy. I felt his forehead; he was heating up…like he was going to die of fever. Gently I pushed him away from me, but only a few inches. He looked confused.
"You're not struggling?" He said quietly. "You're not afraid?"
"I'm afraid that you'll get a fever." I said boldly and hugged him tightly.
After a few seconds he whimpered and pulled away. Gerard was still heating up. I laid him down on the bed, his eyes were afraid. He was afraid of hurting me.
"Rose, I can't control myself…my body takes over…"
"Relax, I'm fine…"
He sat up and felt my waist, I let out a yelp. He looked at me seriously. Right, then and there I knew he wasn't going to lie in bed with me for a while.
"When I hurt you…I didn't even care, I just wanted your blood."
There was a pained expression on his face. He lay back down on the bed.
14. I Regret Ever Being AfraidI felt his forehead again, he was cooling down. I lay down next to him and asked:
"Do you need to take your pills again?"
Gerard groaned and closed his eyes. Before I knew it, I was knocked out. Yet again I was sleeping. I had no idea why I was sleeping so much. I hoped Gerard was going to be okay. That he was able to handle me sleeping with him. And after what seemed like a few seconds I heard a yell of pain.
I woke up with a startled jump. I automatically sat up. Gerard wasn't next to me, and it was dark outside. I jumped out of bed pulled on a shirt and ran quickly downstairs, and there in the hallway was Gerard who looked like he had fallen and was now sitting up, the pills were scattered on the floor. He looked at me and said:
"T-they're not working."
He clutched onto his stomach and tears streamed down his face. He had a shirt on now and his jeans were replaced with baggy PJ pants. I was too stunned to speak. I knelt down next to him. Yet again he was heating up. Gerard's breathing was too heavy. I sighed and pulled down the top of my shirt. He whimpered.
"Go ahead, do it." I whispered, as if talking to myself.
Gerard shook his head in horror. He knew that he was going to have to. I sighed again and stood up, then started to head upstairs. Gerard whimpered again, but I ignored him, what was I supposed to do? I couldn't help him. I climbed into bed and fell back asleep, knowing that this was going to be a long night.
I suppose his condition was a curse, something he couldn't get rid of yet it hunts down his pleasures and eats them whole. The horrified feeling that he was watching me and suffering made me shiver. I was thinking this as I was sleeping. Weirdly, I felt conscious like I could still hear and feel everything, but I knew I was asleep.
I could feel Gerard's stare and his pained face. I could feel myself in his arms supposedly "asleep". Then I felt something on my neck, I knew what it was. Gerard was thirsty; he needed something before he became insane. My eyes shot open. Gerard's tongue was against my neck, I could feel his fangs prodding out. I moaned and he suddenly stopped and pulled away. Gerard looked away from me and put his hands on his face.
"I-I don't like it when you see me like this." He said.
I pulled his hands off his face. He winced as I touched him.
"Tell me about Vampires." I said. "I want to know."
Gee sighed and I kissed him lightly on the cheek.
"Just please go back to sleep." He said.
"Don't treat me so coldly. All I'm asking is to know more about you."
I turned my back to him and sighed in frustration.
"Do you really want to know about me?" He asked quietly.
"If you would let me learn about you."
"I won't tell you…I'll show you…"
Suddenly I wasn't in the bedroom anymore, I wasn't next to Gerard. Then harshly his thoughts replaced mine…
I sighed as she stared at me for only a second. Her light green eyes were the only source of light on her. Nightmare was a Goth I knew I would never be worthy of. I wasn't even the romantic type, she liked those types, I knew that much. She laughed with the other Goths while I sat in the grass outside of Belleville High, watching her. I wasn't even Goth, even though I looked it, I was labeled as a loser. My teeth began to throb as I watched her, my pulse was beginning to get faster as I watched hers beat steadily. I clamped my hand over my mouth and began to run across the field to the office.
"What's wrong? Geetard?" someone yelled
I ignored the insult. I was running as fast as I could but still at human speed, hopefully it would stay that way. I finally reached the office.
"Toothache again?" asked without looking up.
I just nodded with my hand still clamped over my mouth. , who was always at the front desk, had always let me go for early dismal, she didn't know my secret, but she knew I had a type of "condition".
Right across from the High School was a preschool; it was new and apparently had a ballet class too. I knew this because I would stare out the window waiting for my mother to send me a taxi or something. There was one ballerina that was new though. She had long black hair and her bangs covered her eyes, she was pretty pale. In fact, she seemed like a little Goth. And the weirdest part was that her ballerina outfit was black, not pink like everyone else's. Through the window I could here the instructor call her name so she could enter the class.
"Elisabeth Ashley Rose Watson?"
Elisabeth ran up to the teacher, but some other girl, I think her name was Pricilla, pushed her harshly and ran up to the teacher first. Apparently the teacher didn't notice and let Pricilla inside. But when Elisabeth came the teacher looked at her like she was some crazy kid and sent her away. Elisabeth was left outside, and on top of that she was crying.
I felt bad for her; I wanted to go over there and hug her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But then said:
"Gerard, your taxi is here."
I sighed, got up, and went outside. Elisabeth looked up to see who was in her presence. She stared at me in wonder with big light blue eyes that sparkled. The girl was beautiful. I knew that she was defiantly meant for something big, but I had no idea what. Then my throat went off throbbing again, but this pain was so much worse then before, Elisabeth's blood was delicious, blood that I knew I would never come across again. My fangs and throat were throbbing, like in a concert and the bass would be blasting. I could feel her heartbeat in time with mine. I was scaring her.
Quickly I got into the taxi and her figure and the smell of her blood soon disappeared…
My own thoughts came back rushing back into my head. Gerard and I were standing up and I was holding onto him for support and he was holding me up by my waist.
"Wow." I said quietly.
He smiled and helped me stand up straight.
"I saw you when you were just a preschooler, and I instantly fell in love with you."
He stared at me with loving eyes and I stared at him back. I remembered it. I had remembered a tall skinny boy staring at me while I was outside the ballet class. I had to admit that when I turned 13 I realized the boy was beautiful.
Gently he pushed me back, so my back would be on the wall. He kissed me gently and carefully, cautiously. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my hands played with his hair. But this got out of hand. Soon he kissed me harder and I had soon forgotten how different we both were. Gee held me tightly around my waist. He moved down to my neck and nibbled it; I giggled and completely had forgotten that this was too much.
He put his hands on my neck and I could feel his fangs. My eyes widened as he licked my neck and had his mouth open, waiting for the perfect moment…
"GERARD!" I screamed and pushed him hard.
But it only stopped him for a second.
"Just…a bite…"
"STOP! GET OFF!"
"Please…"
"I-I'm not ready, I-I'm not prepared!"
He gripped my shirt.
"Your struggling only tempts me more…"
"Gerard, I-I'm scared."
Gee put one of his arms around my waist and only held me tighter. I felt his breath on my neck, and then I couldn't feel him anymore. He was on the other side of the room; his eyes were wide with horror.
"I had no idea what I was doing." He said.
"Gerard…"
"Even innocent affection can hurt you Rose."
"B-but you did it purposely…"
Gee paused for a minute, I was right. His affection had been a trick. He shook his head.
"I'm sorry…I can't control myself…"
I sighed and slowly walked closer to him.
"You don't have to…" I whispered.
I gently pushed him against the wall. He didn't protest, I guess he was accepting that he needed my blood, no matter what. But after a few seconds he hadn't leaned in to bite me. Gerard was letting out desperate gasps. I put my hand on his cheek and came just a little closer.
"It's alright…you can do it, you can do whatever you want…" I said.
He looked away.
"No I can't." He said.
There was pain written all over his face. I sighed and put my hand to the back of his head and gently pushed down, so his lips were to my neck.
"Please…don't let me do this, love." He said.
"I was scared before, but now that I know what's about to happen…I'm not as scared…"
"I can hurt you Rose. I don't know what I'm doing when I'm craving your blood…I'm an animal."
Then when I thought he would never try to bite, he let out a yell and fell with me in his arms then he began his feast. Weirdly, it didn't seem to hurt at all. He didn't drink; he slurped down gallons of my blood. After awhile there was a stinging in my neck, I let out a faint grunt. Gee paused. My heartbeat became faster. He noticed it, he noticed my pain. But then he kept on gulping down my blood. A few minutes past and the stinging became worse.
"Gerard…you're hurting me."
He didn't pay any attention to me. I tried to pry his fangs out of my neck, but then he did something that I thought he would never do to me. Gee took my wrist and twisted it, HARD. I let out a shriek.
I was being punished for disturbing a vampire's feast. When Gerard heard me shriek he automatically pulled away and let go of my wrist. He looked confused and shocked at the same time. I cried into his chest refusing to see anything but darkness at that moment. He didn't touch me; he kept his arms away from me. He was afraid of hurting me again. Gee was shaking and his breath was shaky too.
I felt weak, so weak I was unable to move away from him.
"I-I should have stopped the first time you felt pain…"
"You shouldn't have stopped at all." I said.
"Don't say that…you mean everything me…and I hurt you…more then I expected."
My wrist was throbbing and I felt light headed. I looked up at Gerard, he had licked all evidence of blood away, and he was looking down at me, looking concerned and worried. My eyes began to droop. He sighed.
"You're tired…you should get some sleep."
I just nodded.
"You do know why you're tried…right?"
My eyes brimmed with tears. He held me against his chest and said:
"Shhhh…"
Then he picked me up and laid me down on the bed softly. I closed my eyes; all I wanted to do was sleep, sleep and forget everything that had happened.
"I'm sorry…" Gee said.
I thought of who Gerard was. That he was the beautiful boy who was standing right in front of me when I had been crying when I was three. Gee was right, he had scared me, and he still kind of does. Now I know what he is, all the pain he goes through.
Then I finally fell asleep….
When I woke up I was surprised that it was morning and Gerard was right underneath me, actually sleeping. I smiled weakly. His hair had gotten longer, but not very much. He was completely healed, and for once, he wasn't thirsty. As usual his skin was completely pale. I sighed and for a few minutes, I just stared at him. He was more then I could ever hope for. When I was just 14, I wondered what my boyfriend would be like. He not only had to be hot, but he needed to be smart, and care for me, I needed to be his world. And I had gotten so much more. Gerard was all of those things, and he was talented, not to mention one of a kind.
And here he was, right underneath me, sleeping. I studied his face and features, there seemed to be absolutely no flaws. I lifted the lower part of my leg up, still staring. Watching him was like reading a book, and it only got better. There were no boring parts, just one whole perfection that made you tingle on the inside.
I was afraid to wake him up and startle him. He usually didn't get very much sleep. One small kiss while he was sleeping wouldn't hurt would it? I kissed him softly and gently, he seemed so fragile, like he would break to pieces if I made a small mistake. My hand was at the back of his head and my other arm was put gently around his neck. But this kiss had woken him up. Gee opened his eyes slowly and lazily. I kind of expected that because he hadn't slept in a while. His hazel eyes made the inside of me flutter. It was as if the inside of me was saying: 'I could see his eyes! They are so beautiful!' I realized my leg was still lifted which made me blush. Then I remembered what happened last night I pulled away quickly and sat on the bed.
"I'm sorry for waking you up…" I said softly.
He propped up on his elbows then smiled sweetly and sighed dreamily.
"Don't be, it may have been the best way I have ever woken up." He said softly.
His eyes opened and closed slowly.
"You're still tired, go back to sleep, I won't bother you anymore…"
"You don't bother me…"
Then he frowned. I scooted a little farther away.
"You're afraid…" He said still frowning, tears brimmed his eyes.
"N-no I'm not." I said desperately. I was trying not to get him upset, I was actually really afraid, if I bothered him would his instinct take over? Would he hurt me again?
"You're afraid of me because of what happened last night…" He said.
I gulped and looked down at my wrist, which still ached. I put it behind me and said:
"N-no, I-I'm not afraid."
A tear escaped from his eye. "When did you start lying to me?" He said calmly.
"Gerard…" I said softly. "I-I…"
Then I realized I was being the smaller person here. My mind told me to just do what he wanted, I did just that. I was now over him on my knees with my legs spread wide, he was still on his elbows and my hands were on the bed near his lower chest. He stared at me with amazement; our lips were just inches apart.
"Just go back to sleep." I said softly.
I kissed him softly, just a two second kiss, to satisfy him. He sighed.
"Is that it?" He whispered.
He kissed me longer, but also slower, maybe even more painful for him because I could feel soft throbbing in his neck, I think it was just for my enjoyment. I wrapped my arms around his neck, causing him to get off his elbows. His arms came around my waist and back. But somehow one of his hands kept down to my upper thigh, two of his fingers ended up in my danger area. I stopped kissing him and grabbed his hand.
"Nice try." I said.
"I'm sorry." He said innocently but smiling.
"Now will you go to sleep?"
"I'm not all that tried anymore…why don't you start off where you were kissing me in my sleep?"
I sticked my tongue out at him. "I'm not going to try that again because you always ruin it."
He smirked. Obviously he wasn't going to give up. I sighed, typical Gee.
15. Goth DisneylandA couple of days had passed. Gerard's hunger was becoming worse, he strained to control it. The pain of his face made my heart ache. I knew that I couldn't do anything other then suffer the consequences of falling love with a vampire. But obviously he wouldn't allow that. He wanted me to enjoy him as if he was normal, but I was too afraid of causing him even more pain. So I decided to give him a break for a night, and go out for once.
"Rose, are you going to be okay?" Gee asked as I walked to the front door.
I was dressed in a black and red mini dress with knee high leggings. He looked at me with worried eyes.
"It's only one night Gerard. You're acting like I'm going to get raped or something."
He flinched. I sighed and hugged him tightly.
"I'll be fine." I assured.
He didn't want to let me go. Why was he so afraid? Was there something out there I didn't know about? Gee kissed me softly then let me go and pulled away.
"Just be careful…." He said.
L.A. had to be one of the most beautiful places on the planet. At night it was like Christmas had never left. The palm trees were decorated with lights and most everything sparkled…accept one building. It looked run down and abandoned. This was weird because in a city like this they would have gotten rid of it. But there were people slipping inside.
People like Billie Joe Armstrong, Hanley Williams, and Pete Wenz were slipping inside a small opening; it seemed like wood that had been ripped from the building so people could get inside. Even though I knew that it was a very good idea, I decided to investigate. I slipped inside the very opening that they did to get into the building.
It still seemed abandoned; there were no windows or anything, just a dark hallway and a single door at the end of it. I ran toward it and forcefully turned the knob, but it was locked. I sighed and at that very moment I felt a hand on my shoulder. I let out a shaky gasp, then grabbed the hand and turned around.
In front of me stood Jimmy Urine…and if you don't know who he is you must live under a rock or something. He just smirked and pulled a key out of his back pocket.
"If I had gotten a heart attack I would have sued you." I said.
"Good choice of words."
I grabbed the key and unlocked the door. I almost screamed. Inside was like a Gothic club of some type. Everyone was wearing Black, Red, Dark Purple and Neon colors. The lights shined bright against the walls and floor, and not to mention drunken people. When I looked at them I thought to myself 'True Goths…finally'
"Yeah, I didn't think you were expecting Gothic Disneyland." Jimmy laughed.
I turned to him.
"Just stay off my back or you're in for a crappy night."
"You have no idea do you?"
"What are you talking about?"
He turned me around.
"What you're looking at is a club full of Vampires."
I froze.
"No worries, we all know who you are. The lover of our beloved number one Vamp. We can't take a bite out of you, or we'll get screwed or something like that…lets just say that our blood sucking days will be over. So have a good time, Rose. We won't bite...but some of us would like to take the risk…"
He laughed and was gone. I just kept on staring at the crowd. They were all Vampires? And they all knew who I was? I shook the thought out of my head. Like Jimmy said, they can't drink from me, or they would be punished for that crime. I realized that all these people had to follow, respect, and worship Gerard; they had to follow his terms, or be punished.
I took in a deep breath and walked inside; as soon as I did I heard people whisper things like: It's her, the human. Or: Soon to be our Goddess. I sighed and tried to fit in, and then I bumped into someone.
"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered.
"Oh it's alright, happens all the time."
I looked at the person I had bumped into. Her hair was silver and was as straight as a stick and was pulled up into pigtails, she had dark eyeliner on and wore a black mini skirt, leggings and a black corset. She smiled.
"My name's Tegan."
"I'm Rose."
"Oh My God, I just realized your Gerard Way's lover, right?"
She said it so casually; like it was no big deal…I absolutely loved it.
"Yeah, I am."
"That's freakin awesome, you have to tell me all about him. I heard he's not very romantic though."
"Fu*k the rumors."
"So he's romantic?"
"I can't even explain it…he's amazing, but…"
"But he has a constant longing for your blood." She sighed. "You know, you're the first mortal he really wants, but you're also the first mortal who has blood that he can't stand. It's the first time he's gone completely over board with blood."
"How do you know all this?"
"Well… know how he's a celebrity in the mortal world…he's a celebrity in the Vampire world too."
"Wow, I would have never guessed that."
"And I'm so sorry, but I have to say that Gerard is too hot. You are some lucky ducky." She laughed.
I laughed too. This was going to be a nice night…
A couple of hours later Jimmy handed Tegan and I drinks. I inspected it, it was wine. But it was only one glass, what would it do? But then again…
"Jimmy, I rather not have wine…"
"Oh come on, don't be a goody two shoes, one glass won't hurt."
I sighed, it was a strange color, and it was dark blue. Jimmy was right; one drink wasn't going to make me completely crazy. I took one sip and completely blacked out…
I opened my eyes to hear my heart beating, Th-thump, Th-thump, Th-thump. I wasn't at the club anymore; I was in Gerard's arms, with his jacket over me. What had happened? We were now in a limo, heading home. He didn't look at me at all. My eyes widened, my neck was throbbing like hell, and it just suddenly came, no warning or anything. It beated faster then my heart, 10x faster. I was getting a migraine, and the throbbing got worse, it was like it was choking me. It was so painful; I couldn't control it no matter how much I swallowed.
I stared at the vein that ran up Gerard's wrist, to his arm. But the one that made my stomach twist was the veins in his neck. I felt rushes of heat against my body. Tears ran down my face. It felt as if my skin was being ripped apart.
I finally let out a shriek. His eyes widened but he still didn't look at me, he was too afraid to. When did Gerard ever start looking so…was the word delicious? He held me tighter against him, I tried pushing away but he only held me tighter.
I realized that I wasn't mortal anymore…that drink…had turned me into a blood sucking creature of the night…
When we got to the house I quietly followed him inside. He still wouldn't look at me. As soon as he closed the door, I ran upstairs to the bedroom and jumped onto the bed with the pillow hiding my face, and soon enough, I fell asleep…
In the morning I woke up to throbbing again. Gerard was asleep, I found myself with my head on his lower stomach and my arms wrapped around his thighs. And this morning was like last night in the limo. My neck throbbed and I had a migraine. It was completely terrible. I let out desperate gasps, trying to breathe. Then finally I screamed:
"Gerard!"
Suddenly he was over me staring at me with frantic eyes and I was on my back. I let out a desperate cry and put my mouth to his neck, ready to bite. He was frozen, he couldn't move, he was shocked. I had my arms at his neck, as well as my mouth. I took a bite. And everything was suddenly peaceful. I realized my skin had gotten paler and my eyes…were blood red. But his blood…it seeped into my mouth, and the throbbing had gone away, so had the migraines. I forced him down and he let out a yelp, I could tell that I had hurt him pretty bad. But at the moment I didn't care.
I flipped him over still sucking his blood. It was delicious, like eating chocolate…I bit harder. I felt his hand rest on the small of my back.
"Don't touch me!" I screamed at him.
He quickly removed his hand. My hands were tangled in his hair. His blood was like sins gracing my tongue. It was draining out of his body and entering into mine, we were like this for hours. Until he began to struggle, he was thirsty again, on top of that he was going through so much pain but he was still trying to hold it in. He let out shaky and desperate breaths. And I didn't care. All I wanted was his blood that ran through his veins. Finally I pulled away. I wiped the blood off my mouth with the back of my hand, my eyes still on him. The only thing he said was:
"Are you satisfied?" in a weak small voice.
I knew I would never forgive the word that escaped my lips. "No."
"You're worse then I am…your lucky…you're only a Vampire for three days…"
My eyes widened, so it was temporary. I sighed.
"I-I'm sorry…" I said with tears in my eyes.
He sat on the bed, still not looking at me, his eyes blood red.
"You had no choice…you can't help yourself, I should know that."
I looked down at my hands, this is how he felt, every single night…every single day. I remembered all the times I tried to force him to control his hunger, when he maintained it for a day or two…I knew I wouldn't be able to withstand it for a second. And to add to it, my blood must be way more delicious then his, it may be even harder for him then it is for me.
Then suddenly a type of theme entered my head, it was a song. I was completely frozen. Where had this come from? It just entered my head. The song was best heard on the piano, and my head was processing it. Every time you thought the note would be higher, it would become lower. How did this artistic song pop into my head? I hadn't played piano in years. It was a beautiful piece, even though it just popped into my head I knew I could play it, it was part of nature.
"Gerard? Do you have a piano?"
He looked at me confused. "Yes…it's two rooms away on the right…why?"
I jumped out of the bed and ran down the hallway. This was completely random of me to do, but then again, my mind was being completely random. Gerard followed me.
The piano was black and small, but it would have to do. I sat on the rectangular chair forced the cover open and suddenly started playing.
It came out more beautiful then I expected it to. It was like my mind had finally let out the frustration. The song seemed so delicate, yet bold and precise. As the song became longer it became strong, but still so breakable…it was beautiful though. My hands graced the piano with such care. It was like magic, like a human being wasn't capable of such beauty. The rhythm was random and you couldn't tell what I would play next. But when it ended, it seemed like it didn't finish, like there was still more but it died out trying to finish its job.
"The story of my life." I whispered.
Gee was frozen, he was astonished.
"Where did that come from?" He asked quietly.
"I-I don't know…"
"I didn't think this would happen so fast…"
"What do you mean?"
"When you're a vampire…you have a need to let all your feelings out…it could be anything, drawing, writing, scrap booking…mine happens to be a multiple of things…singing and drawing, but you…I didn't think a vampire can do something like that with instinct."
I sighed. "I'm even weird in the vampire world."
He laughed. "You have a gift Rose. Even without being a vampire you can still do what you just did."
Gee sat next to me.
"But…it represented my life; it was a way of showing what I was going through one way or another…" I said.
We just sat in complete silence. There were no lights in the room but sun beams ran across it until they hit the floor, revealing all the dust in the room. Gerard put his hand on mine.
"You're beautiful in so many ways Elisabeth. I always wondered what you were meant for and now I know. I am so lucky to have you by my side and when the time is right…"
I looked at him in the eyes. They gleamed not a blood red, but a crystal blue. Why was he crying? Why was he holding back tears?
"Elisabeth…"
He stood up and I turned around still sitting on the chair, staring at him curiously.
"I know that you recently turned eighteen…"
My eyes widened, how did he find out? How did he know?
He went down on one knee and said:
"Elisabeth…will you marry me?"
He pulled out a small box and opened it; I had to hold back my gasp. Was he really asking me this? Was it a dream? I had known him for months now; I should have seen it coming. The ring sat there mocking me, it was beautiful, and the diamonds came into the shape of a rose and on the side said: For my one and only Black Beauty…
My eyes brimmed with tears. The song still buzzed in my head, the perfect song for the perfect moment. Ever two seconds Gerard's expression became worried. He bit his lip.
"Gerard…"I sighed.
Tears began to escape from his eyes. Gee knew I was about to break his heart. I would never forgive myself. I closed the box he was holding and sat on my knees on the floor in front of him. He put the box between us and sat on his knees too. Gerard looked down. He was trying to hide the tears, his disappointment.
"I'm not saying no…" I said.
He quickly looked back at me.
"I'm going to think about it. You asked me at the worst time possible."
"As idiotic as I am…" He sighed.
I held onto his hands.
"You're not idiotic, don't ever think that. I love you more then anything. And-"
I let out a faint grunt. Yet again my thirst got in the way. I put my hand on my neck. The migraine began again. When I looked at Gerard in the eyes, they were blood red. I gulped. I knew mine were the same. Those two thirsty vampires were staring at each other.
"It's alright…I'll let you drink." He said. "If I might be your husband I should start giving you what you want."
I shook my head. "Let's just try to hold our thirst back for a minute…"
Gee whimpered and licked his lips. I came closer to him, but he backed away. Then I picked up the box on the floor. To think, something like this would happen to me…
16. Jimmy Oh JimmyThe day was awkwardly quiet. Most of the day I sat in the room with the piano. Gerard promised me he would buy a better one. I stared at the keys, reading the piano as if the letters were plastered on it. C, C sharp, B, B sharp, E, E sharp…
I sat up and left the room, the very room Gerard had proposed in. The sad song just kept on playing in my head, was I depressed? I closed the door silently.
Around 6 p.m. I wasn't very thirsty any more, the wine was wearing off. Stupid Jimmy, I should have known he would have done something like that. I was stupid enough to fall for it.
Later that night Gerard asked me something:
"Would you want to go on a date?" He smiled.
"A date?" I blushed. "I've never been on a date before."
"Don't worry it's not as horrible as it sounds." He laughed.
I looked out the window; it looked about 7: 30 pm.
"Do you want to go tonight?" He asked.
"Why not?"
He smiled and held my hands. "I promise you it will be the best night of your life."
Gerard kissed me softly and quickly. He left me lingering, wanting more.
"I'm sorry, but…"
"It's okay, I understand." I said looking down at my feet.
I turned around and began to walk toward the hallway.
"Rose." Gee called after me.
I stopped.
"When we're on our date…you can do anything you want with me, that's what I'm allowing. No matter how thirsty I am…anything you want, I'll give it to you…"
I nodded and smiled to myself.
At about 9: 30 I got dressed in yet another mini dress, but this one was black with chains and hints of purple along it, my combat boots, and Tripp hand warmers. I quickly ran down the stairs and standing right by sofa was Gerard.
His eyeliner was smudged as usual, his hair had gotten longer and messier, and he wore a jacket with what looked like broken chains, tight black jeans and converse. When he saw me running down the stairs he laughed.
"Just like teenage years." He said.
I blushed.
"You look beautiful." He said as I wrapped my arms around his arm. I held him tightly, still blushing. I knew it was going to be like this all night. I loved the feeling in my stomach, it wasn't the tingling feeling. It was the excited feeling, the sweet feeling.
As Gerard lead me out the door he twirled one of my chains, was he nervous? He was biting his lip…Gerard was nervous? This was very rare.
Instead of using the limo he walked me to where we were going, which I had no idea where. He told me it would be a surprise.
As we were walking I said:
"Gerard, I was wondering, if we do get married…do you think we would have kids?"
Gerard stopped twirling my chain.
"I thought you took care of that…"
"Well, I just said that so you would do what I wanted."
He was on the verge of a laugh, but he bit his tongue.
"But would you want kids?" I asked.
"Of course, pretty much every guy wants kids."
"And the next question is what we would name them."
"Hmm…for a girl or a boy?"
"I was thinking a girl." I blushed.
Yet again he bit his tongue and stared at my cheeks, then sighed.
"I don't think kids are possible, Rose."
He looked down at his feet, his eyes were getting watery.
"It's just another thing we have to miss out on…" Gerard's voice cracked.
Then I realized that in order to have kids, we needed to do something that just wasn't possible for Gee to handle. I fell silent.
Gerard covered my eyes.
"Gerard? What's going on?"
"It's a surprise." He whispered.
We were at the place.
He lead me for a couple of minutes, I was trying to feel if there were any walls or anything.
"No cheating." He said then put my arms to my sides.
After what seemed like seconds he removed his hands. I bit my lip holding by my gasp. We were at the cemetery, there were candles everywhere, on the gravestones the grass and in the center of a black blanket that was spread across the ground. I could hear the crickets singing and there were fireflies in the air, dancing. Overhead was a dead tree that fit perfectly in the scene.
"Gerard! Did you do this?" I asked.
I turned around to find him blushing. He took my hand and we sat on the blanket. But suddenly his expression became sad again.
"Are you still thinking about the whole kid thing?" I asked him.
He sighed and looked in my eyes he was beginning to cry.
"Gerard, its okay-"
"No! It's not okay! Because of me you have to miss out on everything! Maybe Frank was right! You should have fallen in love with him, and have kids, have se*, be a mother! Do anything you want! I obviously can't give you what you want and I've given you so much stress, I've only been a menace in your life! Why can't I give you what you want in your life...?"
He put his head in his hands letting the tears stream down his face. I was completely shocked by his outburst, but then I sighed and gently pushed Gerard so he was lying down and was on his elbows and I was over him.
"Just forget it Gerard. Forget Frank and everything, I'm next to you because I want you and nothing else."
"I'm ruining the date aren't I?"
I smirked.
He took one of my chains again and began to twirl it. I kissed him softly and slowly, cautiously. His grip on the chain became tighter. But he was whispering something: I can take this, I can take this…But he began to cough and he was heating up, started to pull away, but he held onto me.
"I told you not to stop, even when I am thirsty." He said.
He was shaking and weak. If I kissed him any longer he would collapse.
"Gerard…I can't do that to you…"
"Yes you can! Just go ahead, please, I'm begging you. Enjoy yourself! That's what all of this is about!"
I gulped. And without thinking kissed him harder. I didn't stop, I didn't want to and I wasn't planning to. He kissed me back, but he kissed me weakly. His breath came in small gasps of air. But I still didn't stop; he fell from his shaking elbows. I kissed him harder. Then the candles went out. He pulled away, franticly looking around. I clutched onto him. His breaths were heavy and I could see his eyes in the darkness, blood red. He gently pushed me off him, shaking. Then he sat up. He could barley stand.
"Jimmy…"He whispered.
I heard Jimmy's laugh right by my ear. I froze. Gerard's eyes widened.
"Rose, get behind me."
I scrambled to get behind my boyfriends back. Jimmy's laugh began louder but more distant. Gerard shakily stood up, still weak on his legs.
"Why thank you Elisabeth. You have our vampire overlord shaking, what an amazing sight." Jimmy chuckled.
I stood up behind Gerard, helping him stand. My eyes adjusted to the darkness, but I couldn't see Jimmy. I heard him say:
"Boo." Behind me and in a flash of light was in front of me and Gerard.
"Jimmy, stay away from Rose."
"So is that what you call her?"
Then without warning Jimmy had me away from Gerard, he had one arm around my waist and was holding onto my arm.
"Isn't that cute, he has a pet name for you…"
He squeezed my waist…more like crushed my waist. I screamed in pain. And automatically I fell down; the only thing holding me up was Jimmy. Gerard was horrified.
"JIMMY! LET HER GO NOW!" Gee yelled.
"With pleasure…" He let me go and I fell to the ground holding onto my stomach.
"But…you know, she could come in handy, with my thirst issues and…"
Jimmy began to slide the strap of my dress off. Then when it was least expected Gerard tackled Jimmy to the ground. Jimmy laughed.
"It's just so fun playing around with you Gerard."
Then he slipped out of Gerard grasp and disappeared.
Gerard just shook his head and quickly helped me up.
"Are you alright?"
"I should be asking you that…"
He blushed looking embarrassed.
"He hurt you…" Gee frowned.
"No, I'm fine…"
My waist ached but I ignored it. Gee sat back on the blanket and I sat on his lap.
"How do you know Jimmy?" I asked.
"How do you know Jimmy?" He asked.
"Well…he was the one who gave me the wine." I said.
"Of course." Gerard said.
"Now how about you?"
Gee sighed.
"About a decade ago Jimmy was one of the very few Vampires who challenged me. He loved to play around with me, but sometimes it goes too far. If something ever happens to me, he takes over. Jimmy is never serious, he doesn't like to be, and everything is a joke to him. Worry has never crossed him face, when we were kids he got away with everything…and it looks like he still does…"
I sighed. Gerard had a big history with this guy. Jimmy seemed like the total opposite of Gerard. Jimmy seemed perverted, insane and…perverted. Gerard was sweet and understanding. I gasped in pain; Gerard had put to much pressure on my waist.
"I'm sorry…" He said and looked at me innocently.
"You're getting inpatient." I laughed.
He blushed again.
He twirled my chain again, Gee was nervous again.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek.
"You don't seem to realize how sweet you really are." I whispered.
Gerard completely wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Why are you acting so innocent?" I laughed. "You're not acting like yourself…"
"Oh?" He smiled.
He leaned in for a kiss. But I didn't give it to him; I slipped out of his arms and stuck my tongue out at him. He bit his lip and drummed his fingers on the ground.
"Why do I have to wait this long?"
"Just for my entertainment." I giggled.
In a flash of light he was over me and I lay down on the ground.
"What about my entertainment…?" He asked.
I blushed and he came in for a kiss this time I gave in. His kiss was sweet but hesitant. He would pause for a moment then begin again. It annoyed me, so when he did so I kissed him harder, pushing him on. When he realized his pausing was noticed I felt him bite his lip and saw him blush. My arms came around is neck and my hands got tangled in his hair. His arm came up my back and the other around my waist. When I wrapped my leg around him he started to twirl a strand of my hair. But after awhile he began to heat up and his breathing began to be shaky again. I flipped us over and kept on going ignoring the signs of thirst. He was groaning in pain but yet again I didn't do anything. He took his hand and brought down the top of his shirt trying to cool off. I kissed him even more. I missed his kisses I missed the affection. He gulped. His arms were weak and he barley kissed back, he tried to fill in my need for affection but he could barley make it. His grip was falling apart, even though I knew he was in pain I didn't stop. I sighed in frustration and tried over and over again but It was no use, he couldn't make it. I didn't want to give up.
"Rose…please…" He said in a very weak whisper.
"N-no… I-I don't want to…" I whispered back.
"You need to stop…"
But I didn't listen, I wanted so much more, then finally he grabbed me again, I felt the smile on his lips. And I smiled back. He seemed so much more confident. I knew he couldn't regain his strength. But after 7 seconds he went from my mouth down to my neck, he kissed my neck and was gentle until…he opened his mouth. His gripped tightened so much it hurt my waist completely, I cried in pain. I felt the tips of his fangs, I jerked away from him. His eyes were much more bright then usual and were red, blood red. I pushed him too far. I sat on the blanket; he stared at me licking his lips.
"I was so close…you disappointed me Rose. I thought you wanted me…" He smiled.
I was afraid and I knew my face showed everything.
"Why did you stop?" He grinned, and then he laughed. "Did something bother you?"
His fangs prodded out of his mouth.
"G-Gerard you're scaring me…" I stuttered.
"Of course I'm scaring you. You're trapped princess…"
He came closer. I was completely frozen.
"Why are you acting so innocent?" He laughed. "You're not acting like yourself…"
Without warning he grabbed me hard, I shrieked.
"GET OFF ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!" I screamed.
He laughed. "Very cute Elisabeth…"
"I-IF YOU KEEP THIS UP…I-I REFUSE TO MARRY YOU!" I screamed at him.
He froze. His grip lessened but he didn't let me go.
"What do you love more? My blood? Or me?"
He hesitated. I had stumped him.
"Rose…" He whispered.
He let me go, I sighed in relief.
"Of course I love you more…but sometimes I can't control myself…you know that…"
I groaned. He had bruised me up my arms the bruises were the shapes of his hands.
"I-I'm sorry…" He frowned.
"It's aright…"
"You must stop when I tell you too…"
I sighed, ashamed at myself. I wasn't good at that.
"It's just…you never kiss me like that…"
"I wish I could kiss you like that every minute of the day…I'm just not capable of doing so…"
Yet again his eyes became watery.
"Gerard…"
He looked at me in the eyes and the tears came streaming down his cheek. I wiped them away by grazing my hand over his cheek.
"Please don't cry, I don't like seeing you like this…I love you too much."
"I'm selfish Rose…if I wasn't I would have let you go…let you live without Vampires getting in your way…"
I noticed that the only candles that were on were the candles in front of us. I stared at it. The flame flickered trying to stay alive. Was the whole world mocking me? Saying that I was never going to make it?
"Rose?"
"Hmmm?"
"Are you okay?"
"Oh sorry, I just spaced out."
I cuddled against his chest, trying to stay warm he held me.
"Why do I ruin everything?" He whispered. "Why did I put our marriage in danger…?"
17. Heaven Is Just A Hell AwayThings were going much smoother then before; Gerard controlled his thirst so much better. The reason was because he knew he would ruin his chance for love if he didn't control himself better. But it pained me to see that he was hurting and was now in even more pain trying to keep me happy.
But Gerard had done what he promised he had gotten a grand piano and soon the room wasn't empty anymore, he gave me the room and I had come to love it. The room was huge and beautiful so I had put my books in piles around the room they reached and stretched up the wall. There was now sofas and chairs in the room. Night tables and coffee tables too. My CDs were in there too, including my sheet music. The room had become a home for me and it made me feel comfortable. It had this special something in it that made me feel good.
One day as stupid as I was I had fallen asleep in there, with the door open…. I had completely forgotten to close it and lock it. I had been reading and fell asleep with it on my lap. I woke up to find Gerard over me, his eyes a light red; he was trying to keep his breath steady and calm.
"Gerard? Are you okay?" I asked him dazed.
"I'm sorry…I was just…"
He didn't complete his sentence. He just stared at me with a hint of worry in his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he closed his eyes and bit his lip, preparing for a bit of affection. I frowned.
"You can't take anything anymore can you?" I asked.
"Rose, I-I'm sorry…it's just too hard…"
I let go of him and turned.
"I don't care anymore, just forget it…. If you don't enjoy my affection then…whatever…"
"Don't say that! Rose I-"
"Just forget it…"
He fell silent.
That night I sat by the pool staring at my reflection, the wine had already stopped working its magic. I was lonely, I wasn't able to touch Gerard at that point, or he would be tempted. I swirled my reflection with a stick, I was stuck in my own issues. Then the pool light turned off. It did that about three in the morning every night, but I still sat there in my PJs hugging my knees in the pitch black.
But then I felt arms wrap around me from the back.
"Gerard…?"
He didn't answer, it was probably him, and he was probably playing around with me. But why was he touching me? Why was he suddenly showing affection? I didn't care at the moment. I turned around and my arms found there way up his chest to his neck and he held me close. I couldn't feel his long hair, where had it gone? Was it a last minute hair cut? I took the opportunity to kiss him, but it came hard and quick before he could reject it. To my surprise he kissed back. That wasn't like him. I felt him smirk against my mouth, that wasn't like him either he would usually blush.
He wasn't handling me very gentle either; his hands would stray off course and into the dangerous places, I allowed him to do so because you know…it was Gerard…
He fell back and I fell on top of him kissing him as hard as I could. Knowing this wouldn't happen for awhile. I held him tightly, and he smiled. But then the lights off the pool flickered back on and when I looked into Gerard's eyes it wasn't Gerard I was looking at…it was Jimmy…. I gasped and tried to pull away but he kissed me harder and harder holding onto me tighter and tighter. I tried to scream but it wasn't very loud because my mouth was already occupied. Then he finally let me go. I gasped for air.
"Wow, no wonder Gerard is interested in you…" He smiled and sighed dreamily.
"Don't touch me…" I warned him
"Oh? I thought you were enjoying yourself…" He laughed. "C'mon, do anything you want I'm open…"
"Why would I want to do that?"
"Well…Gerard doesn't exactly let you have a lot of fun does he?"
Jimmy sat up and he put me on his lap.
"Just imagine, if you stick with me you can do that everyday and I wouldn't mind, that had to be the best kiss of my life…if you ask me, I don't think he appreciates you…"
I stood up.
"Sorry Jimmy, but I'm taken…."
I started to walk away from him. But then he grabbed my arm.
"Who said I was giving you a choice...?" He smirked.
He pulled me closer and he licked my neck slowly. I screamed. But then he clamped his hand over my mouth and bit me, hard. This bite seemed different though, I felt his tongue swirl while Gerard had always kept that to a minim. Jimmy held me tightly and hard. He groaned and moaned, to my surprise this didn't hurt at all. I was getting dizzy and I held him for support, he held me up. I heard him say: Yummy...As he took my blood. Not knowing what I was saying or doing I giggled. But only a few seconds of this had gone on when I felt him pull away…no it was more like his fangs being ripped out of my throat, I screamed. Then dazed and wobbly on my legs fell to the ground and put my hand on my neck, staring at the grass. I didn't breathe I gasped, crying, it was the most pain I had felt in ever.
Why did it hurt so much? I heard Jimmy laugh. I looked from the corner of my eye; he had Gerard pinned by a nearby tree. I just stared as Jimmy laughed amused. How could such a skinny guy be so strong?
"Thanks for the snack…" Jimmy said and left, his voice still lingering in the air. Then it started to rain. I didn't look at Gerard; in fact I closed my eyes. But I was still in pain…and still shocked. I felt Gerard's breath on my neck; so much blood…so much thirst. As soon as his arms warped around me I let out a cry. He hesitated, shook his head and carried me, biting his lip and not looking at me at all. I'm sorry, I'm sorry…he whispered over and over. I held him tighter, resting my head against his chest. He whimpered. I buried my head in his chest he wasn't moving…he was to afraid to move…
Then it stared to rain, but instead of going back into the house, he sat on the love swing with me in his arms, I felt drunk and afraid, the pain had numbed and now I was here with Gerard. Lighting struck. As I started to kiss his neck he tensed, I made my way to his cheek and before I went to his mouth I hesitated thinking: Do I really want to do this? Put him through even more pain?
"Go ahead…please…" He whispered.
Then I realized that he couldn't kiss me, he would lose control. I had to face him head on. I still hesitated he waited patiently, but not speaking. Then finally I kissed him gentle and carefully, afraid I would hurt him. He tapped his fingers on my thigh, impatiently. I wasn't giving him enough. Uncertain I kissed him more but him softer, he didn't like it…but I was afraid, I didn't want to hurt the one I loved.
"I can take it…really…" Gee whispered.
"No…no you can't…"
He groaned in frustration but still didn't move. His breath became unsteady after awhile so I pulled away, he wasn't satisfied.
"Love…"
"No." I said.
"Please…"
He held me tighter.
"Is this a trick?" I asked.
"I promise you it's not…"
I sighed and he finally decided to show me some affection he hasn't shown me in awhile. We were soaking wet in the rain.
I shivered as he gently and lightly kissed me, cautious of his every move. He sighed dreamily.
"Love?"
"Hmm?"
"I need to tell you something…" He whispered.
I pulled away from him and replaced my relaxed face with a serious one. Goosebumps ran up his neck.
"Yes?" I asked slowly, unsure.
"I…I want you to stay with Frank for awhile."
I got off him and sat on the swing.
"Why?"
That was going to be the first question; I just needed to know what was going through his head before I said no. He bit his lip and drummed his fingers on the seat; he knew what I was thinking.
"Well…" He sighed. "I think you would be much safer with him…it's only going to be two weeks…it won't be that long, you'll be fine…"
"It's not me I'm worried about, it's you."
He didn't continue…so I did.
"You cant stand three days without my blood and your never able to sleep without me…what do you think would happen if we are apart for 2 weeks?"
"And if you stay with me your pain will become even worse. I don't care if I get hurt, I care if you do."
I sighed.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Positive. It will keep you safe from Vampires like me and Jimmy."
But by the threat of tears escaping his eyes told me he was afraid.
"No…you don't want this."
"I don't want it but I need to do it. Please, I have made my decision and I want you to stay with Frank…okay?"
I sighed, got up from the Love swing in the soaking rain, and went into the house.
As Gerard had planned I left the next morning in a private jet, from L.A. all the way to New Jersey. Where Frank Iero had lived. The reason Gerard had chosen Frank to take care of me was because he knew Frank would protect me from and immortals that lurked NJ. He knew Frank has had a crush on me ever since we were kids. When I arrived at Frank's house in yet another limo, I had opened the door of the car and I was greeted by a very tight hug. It looks like Bob wasn't the only hugger in the band.
Frank lived alone of course, Bob being his only visitor.
"I got you something." He said smiling.
I blushed. He had actually got me something just because I was visiting. I followed him inside a house that was a bit smaller then Gerard's and ironically a little more complex. On the rug of the living room sat what looked like a weird shaped ball, then it unfolded into a beautiful black fox. It was a small baby fox. It was perfect, I was never really into animals but this fox was beautiful. Her eyes shimmered even though they were black. It was as sleek and sly as a cat, famine yet holding its head up high. But it was also related to the dog so it was also a good hunter and runner.
"She's yours…" Frank whispered behind me. I nearly jumped.
The baby fox came scampering toward me and seemed to have a liking toward me. I smiled.
"I knew you would like her…I found her a couple of days ago and…I guess she made me think of you."
"Thanks." I said kissing him on the cheek; he was stunned for a moment. I guess he didn't expect it.
I picked her up and she cuddled against me.
"I think I'll call her…Scorcha."
18. 'With Me Alive, When Jimmy Is Gone, His Memory Will Haunt You Forever...'After three days I was getting worried. Was Gerard okay? What was he doing? How was he doing? I drummed my fingers on the sofa in Frank's bedroom. He came in and sighed when he saw me. Scorcha was on my lap sleeping. Frank sat next to me.
"He's gonna be fine…."
"I don't think so…."
"You're with me now…"
Frank pulled me on top of him and Scorcha jumped of my lap startled and ran out of the room.
"I love Gerard, Frank."
"Just take away his name in that sentence…"
"Frank…let go…"
Frank did as he was told but before I could get off he stole a quick kiss.
"Frank!"
"What?" He laughed.
Better then being with Jimmy…I thought. I got of the sofa.
"Why do you love him anyway? Don't you ever get tired and loving someone who can't love you back?"
"Shut up."
He sighed sadly.
"Can you just forget what I did before?"
"No." I simply said and walked out of the room and out the front door. Scorcha followed and so did Frank.
"Look, I'm sorry…I just-"
"Just leave me alone!" I shouted.
He stopped following me.
It was around midnight as I sat in the park with Scorcha. She circled the bench I sat on. Eyeing something I couldn't see. This seemed to be the only quiet place in New Jersey. The only place to think. Then suddenly Scorcha hissed and jumped onto my lap. She stared at the bushes in front of us. Without the moonlight I wouldn't have been able to see it. Someone had stepped out of the bushes that were 6 feet away. It was a woman figure who had pigtails next to her was what looked like the shape of a cat.
She moved with such grace and without hesitation…just like her cat. Scorcha hissed again and the woman stopped and lit up something that looked like a lantern. Strangely she reminded me of Jimmy. She smiled sweetly.
"Hello." She said in a soft voice.
"Hi…" I said.
She looked dangerous and her cat just kept staring at me. He smile faded into a scowl.
"You don't know who I am, do you?"
I kept quiet, clutching onto Scorcha. This woman seemed strange. Her mood swings were scaring me. She laughed.
"Well it doesn't matter; I know who you are…"
"And how do you know that?"
Her smile was awful…one of those sweet smiles with a horrible look in her eyes.
"You are the lover of our king…" she sighed.
Then she sat down next to me. As if she was exhausted.
"I'm Kitty." She said. Then gestured to her cat. "And this is Kat."
Kat meowed and jumped onto the arm rest of the bench. Kitty just stared at me…she had a smile on her face but had hate in her eyes.
"Mortals are soooo stupid; you don't know anything do you?" She said strangely still smiling.
Scorcha hid behind me as Kitty scooted closer to me.
"Just let me tell you this…" She grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled my ear to her face.
I couldn't scream, I was in complete shock.
"You are making my Jimmy suffer because of your blood. He cant take it anymore, he's gone insane, he needs your blood and since I cant take you to himbecause of my overlord…this is what I have to say to you: with me alive, when Jimmy is gone, his memory will haunt you forever..."
She let go of me, smiling in delight.
"Why are you doing this for…Jimmy."
She sighed sadly.
"Many years ago I was his lover. I was a mortal and he loved me even though I was so. He made me into something I wanted to be for so long. But lately he has changed and decided he didn't really love me. So he moved on…but this feeling for him has never gone away…"
Kat rubbed against Kitty's arm and purred.
"I'm sorry that happened…."
"Well don't be, that happened years ago and I must leave. Good-bye mortal."
Then she was gone and so was Kat. I shivered and shook my head. This was a weird night.
It was the day…the day I was finally going to see Gerard again. He was going to pick me up.
Frank was upset and grumpy until the time came. He didn't want to give me up to Gerard. I was excited and terrified at the same time. How was he? Would he be thirsty? Of course he would….
Then finally the sleek, black limo parked in the driveway. Scorcha seemed excited too. She was leaping and jumping around me. When he came out of the limo I was shocked. This was awful; two weeks had done too much. It looked like another day he was going to fall apart.
Quickly I ran out of the house and into his arms. He was weaker then I thought and he stumbled back. There were circles around his eyes and his hair was a lot messier then usual, it looked as if he hadn't eaten in days and I could feel his ribs. I felt his forehead, he had a fever…but his hands were ice cold…. As he put his hands around my waist to hug me he was shaking and wobbly on his knees. I put my hand on his neck and it was throbbing like crazy, he had a pained expression on his face.
I had a worried look on my face. He didn't want to look at me. Obviously because he didn't want to do something. His face was turned away from me. He didn't even spare a glance. It made my eyes water. But then I shook my head.
"Are you alright?" I asked putting my hands on his arm.
"No, no I'm not."
He clutched onto his stomach…his thirst had gotten much worse. He licked his lips but still refused to look at me. Not wanting to give into his thirst. I let go of him. And got into the limo, still staring at him, Scorcha followed. Frank came out and just nodded to Gerard. Gee didn't even look at Frank, afraid he would lose control. Then he got into the limo too, staring out the window, I sat on the other side.
"You have to look at me sometime."
"Your right, but I rather not right now."
I stared out the window too. But I was staring at Gerard at the corner of my eyes. Scorcha hopped on Gerard's lap and stared at him with curiosity. He pushed her off his lap, as troubled as he was, I knew that he would. I could hear his breathing. I stayed still, afraid even a move would trigger him. Scorcha nudged him, trying to get him to move. He didn't. Yet again Gerard pushed her away. Then he grunted. I shot my head up at him. He was clutching onto his stomach on the verge of tears.
He looked worse then ever. He forced his fingers through his hair. He bit his lip until it began to bleed. This was horrible for him. Was he going to make it from NJ to LA? I doubted it. Six hours in a private jet wasn't going to be pretty. And from the horrified look on his face he knew it.
"Gerard, you can't do this…."
I scooted over to him, the closer I came the tighter he clutched onto the seat and the heaver his breathing became. He didn't say anything.
"Gerard, please. Go ahead; I don't like to see you like this…."
I sat on his lap.
"Rose. Please get off."
"No, you need your blood."
"Rose…."
"I demand you to drink my blood!" I screamed at him.
He didn't move,
"Gerard!"
"I can't do that to you…."
"Just do it now before I change my mind!"
I moved my hair away from my neck and moved closer to his face.
"Now!"
"NO!" He yelled at me and pushed me off him, hard. He pushed me with such force my head banged against the other side of the limo. I felt the back of my head, and then the pain came. It was agonizing. The only sound that came out of my mouth was a short painful gasp. As I removed my hand from the back of my head I felt blood trickle down my arm. Scorcha hissed at Gerard. It was ruby red leaving a trail of dark red down my arm.
Apparently my head was bleeding. I looked at Gerard, his stare was intense. But then he realized what had just happened. A horrified look crossed his face. My head throbbed. His breathing was heavy, staring at that blood.
"Rose….I-"
"I'm sorry; I pushed you to do something you didn't want to."
He couldn't say anything as he crawled over to me.
"Gerard?"
He was silent. He took my arm and started to lick the blood off it. His eyes completely changed from hazel to blood red. I gulped and closed my eyes. He held me around my waist and had his mouth to my neck. Then he hesitated. His hands clutched onto me but he did nothing. I opened my eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"Someone…is watching…."
I clutched onto him. And looked around. He lifted his head from my neck and looked out the window. I hadn't even realized the limo had stopped. Outside was the jet, but we could board whenever we wanted to. Gerard was right someone was watching us. Two people stood yards away from the limo. Hanley Williams and Jared Leto. He let out a shaky sigh.
"We can't do this now…."
He let go of me. I sighed in relieve. He got out of the limo and I followed with Scorcha trailing behind me. I looked back, Jared and Hayley had disappeared.
19. I'm Not Crazy I'm Just Insane...In the jet Gerard just kept on eyeing me.
"You can continue if you want."
"I rather not…."
I kept quiet, after half an hour I became sleepy. I cuddled next to him. He let out a shaky sigh. After two minutes he broke out in coughs. I got startled. I frowned. He looked up at the ceiling. Five hours and thirty minutes left. I tugged at the top of his shirt.
"Gerard…you haven't kissed me in ages…."
He looked away not answering.
"Please…?" I asked quietly.
He sighed and smiled weakly.
"Good boy." I said.
He leaned in for a kiss. I nearly jumped on him. It came hard and fast, I caught him by surprise, his eyes widened. He was too slow for me. I really needed this. My arms were wrapped around his neck.
"Rose! I can't!" He yelled against my lips.
I ignored him, scared that if I listened I would have to let go.
"Just enjoy."
He screamed against my lips but I paid no attention to it. His breathing came in gasps and he was completely weak against me. My hands made their way in his hair and before I knew it he thrust my arms off of him and ran to the back of the jet.
He had never run away from me before. And I thought to myself: He was screaming…screaming for me to stop. But as stubborn as I was, I didn't listen. I silently walked to the back of the jet. There was a door in the back that was slightly open. I pushed it a bit and peeked in. Gerard was at a sink…throwing up…blood.
He wiped the blood off his mouth with his arm. Then he stared at his own reflection. I put my hand on his back.
"Don't ever do that again." He said.
I sighed and took his hand.
"We'll make it through this…we'll find a way…" I said quietly.
But he seemed distracted, like he was daydreaming and in a haze.
"Forgive me…." He whispered and pinned me hard against the wall.
His eyes flashed a blood red. I bit my lip.
And suddenly I realized what he had been trying to do. He was seeing how many days he could go without my blood. He couldn't even last 2 weeks. My blood was completely toxic.
"Gerard, you don't want to do this…."
"I'm afraid I do." He smiled.
I slipped away and stumbled down the aisle in the jet. He slowly followed, knowing I had no where to run. I turned around and in front of me stood a very hungry vampire, licking his lips. I stumbled a little bit backward then I fell. I quickly covered my neck with my hands.
"You can't suck my blood if my neck is covered." I said.
"Who said your neck was the only source?"
In what seemed like half of a second he thrust my shirt up and plunged into my torso. What was strange was that I suddenly felt his heart beat, his body…. I slowly let of my neck. His fangs sunk in ever so slowly, allowing me to soak in every bit of feeling.
He moaned and slurped. I was so used to it, I wasn't even disgusted anymore. My hands reached his head. I ran my fingers through his hair.
I didn't feel anything. I was numb.
"Stop…no…." He murmured.
As if he was just in a nightmare. He abruptly pulled away. I put my hands over my stomach. I was laid down on the floor.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
I sat up and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back for once. I kissed him on the cheek. But to my surprise, he kissed me on the mouth. It wasn't hard or fast, it was sweet and perfect. He pulled away.
"These days without you have been awful, and I felt awful when I picked you up because the closer I was to you the more my hunger grew…."
The whole time Scorcha sat at my side. Unfearful and giving Gerard the death stare.
He smiled at her, and then her eyes finally lit up. She was satisfied. His mood swings were scaring me.
"Have you eaten?" I asked.
"Not very much…"
"You didn't sleep either?"
"I couldn't. Not without you by my side."
I sighed sadly.
"Do you have something to tell me?" He asked.
I looked up at him. How did he know what I was thinking?
"Do you know someone by the name, Kitty?"
He sighed in frustration.
"She's after you too isn't she? She's with Jimmy?" He asked closing his eyes.
"Think so…"
He looked down at the ground and frowned. He knew that there was only more trouble that lied ahead. I sighed and shook my head.
"Don't worry about it. Just…I want you to rest a bit, okay?" I said as I got off the floor.
As I did so, my stomach ached but I ignored it. Gerard wasn't convinced. Then I saw it, the loneliness in his eyes, the feeling of being alone. Seeing that made me want to cry, but I took his hand and pulled him up. Then I sat him on a chair and I sat next to him. I was being stubborn, as usual.
Even though I felt awful and horrible, I was being a stubborn little brat. I sighed. When will this flight end?
We walked in the front door, Gerard still hadn't slept, and he was as stubborn as I was. Scorcha stared at the house around her, curiously. I seemed to have stuffed Gerard with food until I was satisfied. I was too worried about him, I was afraid he would starve. After 30 minutes of arguing if he should sleep or not he finally listened and went to bed.
Then I looked around the house. Everything was wrecked, like some kind of monster came destroying everything he touched. There was only one room untouched. My room. There was only one difference, on top of the piano sat a fat book.
I picked it up. It had no title, but if you looked careful you could see the words at the bottom of book.
Rules of A Vampire.
I opened the book and the first page read:
1. Thou all not drink the blood of an animal, doing so will result in: Complete rejection of the classified word "Vampire".
2. Thou shall not wish harm to the head of our existence, doing so will result in: Punishment decided by the Head Counsel.
3. Thou shall not feel affection for any other species, doing so will result in: Execution
4. Thou shall not side with enemies, doing so will result in: Forced suicide
5. Thou shall not murder another of our kind, doing so will result in: Misery being pulled upon you for all eternity.
6. Thou shall not try to become something other then our kind, doing so will result in: Murder of your loved ones when least expected.
Compelling against these 6 simple laws will result in punishment that is unspeakable even for Vampires.
Gerard Way and Jimmy Urine
October 31, 1798
We were breaking vampire law too? The exact ones Gerard wrote with Jimmy? I slammed the book shut and threw it across the room. So now everyone is against us? I turned around and leaning against the wall was Gerard. He looked a bit better. He smirked. Uh-oh.
"Irritating isn't it?" He asked.
"Awful." I said, not looking him in the eyes.
He sped forward, only inches from me. I looked down, unable to bear the idea that he was hungry after only a few hours.
"Are you really that afraid?"
"Yes." I said in a small voice.
"The question is…"
He had crept so close his mouth was whispering against my neck.
"Will you let me do it? Or will you stop me?" He whispered.
I let out a small desperate cry, letting him get the better of me, he smiled. He clutched onto me.
"Please….Gerard please, not again."
"What's another bite gonna do?"
GERARD
I looked down at her. She was sound asleep, her steady breath followed mine. And her pulse beating ever so slowly. He could feel every breath she took, every move she made…every beat her heart strained.
My stomach lurched; I grimaced at the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. Rose sighed in comfort as she held me tighter, unaware of my growing hunger. I licked my lips as my vision became a red blur. She rolled over and put her hand at the center of my chest.
Then the throbbing began. It started from my throat, down to my entire body. I sighed in frustration and looked away from her, when in the inside I wasn't angry…I was scared. I felt as if there was something pulling at my skin, trying to rip it off me…no….it felt as it WAS pulling my skin off. I held back my sudden scream. If I did that, Rose would be worried; I didn't want her to worry about something that couldn't be helped. Just make it stop…make it stop. But it will NEVER stop….
I bit my lip. If she saw me like this…heard my thoughts…she would be afraid. But what was one lick going to do? No one was getting hurt. But I wanted to rip her skin off, be able to taste that blood and let it flow into my mouth.
I shook my head and sat up on the bed. What was I to do? There needed to be something.
I looked through the cabinets downstairs. There needed to be SOMETHING…please. Then I came across something that gave me a bit of hope…a beer bottle. Could it be my answer? Getting drunk would take my mind off…everything…
Rose
Obviously I just couldn't sleep, as soon as I woke up in my usual daze I felt depressed. Gerard wasn't next to me…I expected that. So I did what I usually did when I couldn't sleep. I played the piano in my special room. While I was away Gerard composed most of his songs into piano, the first I reached out for was 'This is How I Disappear." My old favorite. As I played I didn't look at my hands as it gracefully touched each key.
The song wasn't the best choice, it sounded very sad, like someone had just died in the inside. But I played it anyway. I looked around the room as I played. My room was stuffed with everything I loved. I sighed and looked at the keys as the solo came in. I tilted my head in an awkward position and went down the piano, moving my entire body. My fingers danced up and down the key board. I finished with a graceful flow of notes.
Then I decided to see what Gerard was up to.
…
I ran down the stairs quickly. And came to a complete halt as I saw the living room. Gerard was laid on the couch, a cigarette in had and he let out a puff of smoke. An army of empty beer bottles surrounded him, some were even smashed. I stood in the middle of it all, shocked. Was he…drunk?
I gulped.
"Gerard?" I said quietly.
"Hmmm?"
He sat up and looked at me.
"Are you aright?" I asked and came closer.
"Of course I am! Never better!"
He stood up and nearly fell over. I bit my lip. Why would he do something like this? As he walked over to me, he stumbled and didn't really look at his feet, but at the ceiling. Oh my god. This had to be the scariest thing ever seen.
"What's wrong?" He asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
I looked at the ground. At least he wasn't aggressive, but I knew that when you were drunk there were side effects. He came closer and soon at me against the wall.
"I know what will make you feel better…kisses, wine…maybe a little…dare I say it…sex?" He said with a sexy grin.
I didn't say anything. But I did realize what his side effect was…he got horny.
He came closer and kissed me slowly, I didn't kiss back because he began to pull off my pants.
"Gerard…you drunk…" I said and pulled away.
"How can you say something like that? I'm perfectly fine!"
"Just stay away from me…."
"I did this for you." his voice cracked.
I didn't look at him and I kept distance.
20. "Funny Isn't It?"Jimmy
I could only laugh at what Gerard had become. Sure there was one mortal a Vampire couldn't let go. But Gerard…he came across a mortal he couldn't let go off, but her blood is toxic. Precious, beautiful, splendid, extraordinaire! I may be a lunatic, but I was getting what I wanted. And my childhood friend was getting what he deserved.
As I took a sip of beer my hand shook slightly.
Soon, our precious 'leader' will pass away. 'T'was love that killed the beast' was prefect for Gerard. Yes, it was.
I laughed and the other people in the train all looked at me. And I shrugged. Why should I care? This was why I hated the subway. A crazy person couldn't laugh to himself without people staring at them.
I glared at them and took another sip of beer.
"What ya lookin' at? Does everyone gotta be decent?" I said.
They quickly looked away. I knew it wasn't what I said that scared them. It was my eyes; I was thirsty, and ready to rip someone's neck out.
Rose
I sighed as I weighed my options. I couldn't leave Gerard, he would surely die without my blood, and it would hurt both of us. But as I watched him sleep after his little episode after getting drunk, I knew that I ruined him. If he hadn't seen me at that concert…if he hadn't spotted me…none of this would have happened. Now…I was almost sure his life would end very soon….
JARED LETO
I started at Hayley as she brushed her hair in even strokes. She was thinking of something...torture maybe...or some way to torture Jimmy Urine. She was in love with the guy. But the last time she asked him on a date he said: "C'mon princess, I don't have time to be all lovey dovey with a girl, I have my own life."
I sighed. He made a huge mistake. Hayley wasn't someone you could say that to. She's my step sister, I should know.
I sat on the couch and closed my eyes. After a few seconds I could hear her singing. Her voice was pure, and mellow...it reminded me of how my little sister used to sing.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I remember her pretty blue wide eyes, and the way she bit her lip when she was nervous. I remember how everyone hated her, and noone wanted to be around her because she was different. I remember her short black hair and her boots with chains and how they jingled when she walked. She had been clumsy and careless, but it marked who she was. But I left her behind to escape my mother and father, to be free. Her name was Elisabeth Ashely Rose Watson. And mine used to be Jared Alexander Leto Watson, until I changed my name, ashamed of the last name Watson...
"Jared?" Hayley called in her silky voice.
"Hmm?"
"You remembered that the Control of Chaos concert is tomarrow right?"
"Yeah, what of it?"
She came out of the bathroom and smiled.
"EVERYONE is going to be there. You and I, Kitty, Jimmy, Billie, and most importantly...Gerard. Our overlord. We have to look our best." she said.
"Does that mean extra eyeliner?"
"OF COURSE!"
"Alrighty then." I closed my eyes again.
"Oh come on Jared."
She sat on my lap.
"This will be FUN!" she said.
I smiled. She was going to try to convince me. And one thing I for got to mention was that Hayley and I were a couple, not only step siblings...
_
ROSE
"There's a concert tomarrow I can't miss." Gerard mumbled.
He was on the bed resting and closing his eyes. He was just starting to get over the beer.
"What?" I asked and sat on the bed.
"A concert...I need to go, all of the head vampires will be there..."
"Oh..." I bit my lip.
He smiled and spoke, his eyes still closed:
"I have a surprise for you..."