Author's Note: I decided to split the first two chapters into smaller parts since the first time when I uploaded them, I wasn't used to the new doc management setup of the website so the first two were very long and torturous to read. By breaking them up I think it'll be easier to follow.
Disclaimer: I do not own any Naruto's characters, they all belong to Kishimoto. I only own the OCC characters, :).
This is a very wrong story with wrong emotions and a wrong couple to pick. I'm mentally sane and not emotionally twisted in anyway but I love to write twisted stories. So you're warned. If you don't like how dark it is, you can just stop reading it. But if by any chance you like it, please give me some comments so I can make my stories better. This is on going and I hope to finish it real soon to come back to another long story I had abandoned more than 4 years ago….
Forbidden Fruit
Chapter 1
"I don't get you at all, Sakura"
Quirking a thin eyebrow in mere annoyance, the reason the blonde teenager interrogated her pink-haired best-friend was just because she, in the blonde's opinion, had made one of the most idiotic decisions in her life.
"You turned him down without a second thought? Are you out of your mind?"
Clapping the door of her personal cabinet without so much care about the frustrating clanging of metal on metal, the medic turned to look at her friend with dull eyes:
"What do I suppose to do when I don't love him? And for your information, Sachiko, I'd thought about it for this whole week, it's not an impulsive verdict or anything"
The blonde seemed to have no intention of backing off as she narrowed her eyes and remarked sarcastically:
"You don't say the same thing when he made moves towards you last month. Sakura, Wake up, you can't be like this for your whole life! And he's Uchiha Itachi, who do you expect for more? Your…"
"I don't know what you're talking about" – snapped the rosy-haired girl. She already knew the direction of their little talk and before the blonde had time to spit out things that for all her life, Sakura was so dread to hear so she cut it short rudely:
"If you continue to talk about it, Pig, I wouldn't mind never seeing or talking to you again."
Turning pat on her knee-length heels, the pink-haired girl decisively strode away, leaving an angry half-opening-mouth girl who never learnt when to shut up:
"You can't run from it forever, Forehead, you just turned down a golden chance to be freed from him, you idiot"
Trying to ignore the piercing words, Sakura speeded up and ran away from the deserted hospital in one late Friday's afternoon. From the deepest part in her heart, she knew the blonde just said the truth. She could not run from it any more – the terrible, agonizing truth that always made her heart ache painfully since she was thirteen.
Of all the children at the same age in Konohagakure, Hatake Sakura was always considered as one of the most mature and privileged ones as she had accomplished so many things that a kunoichi could only dream of at the tender age of sixteen: She was a jounin with a firs-rate medic ability that was trained and praised numerously by the fifth Hokage, who considered her as her most beloved grand-daughter; she was the indulged god-child of the sixth Hokage, who seemed to love her even more than his own look-alike sons and daughter; she was one of the best in her school both academically and physically ever since she was three. Friends were fond of her because she was kind and thoughtful, except for her terrifying temper, which could make even the sixth Hokage shiver shamefully at times. And she always knew who made her become the person she was today – her father – the illustrious Copy Ninja – Hatake Kakashi - who was nothing to her but a perfect dad since the first day she could remember things.
Yes, Sakura had them all but deep in her soul, she thought she had nothing.
Absolute nothing
She never actually felt happiness from the time when "it" appeared in her mind. To be more accurate, she only suspected of her difference from other kids at first but ever since she could truly define what "it" was, she disgusted herself to no end. It was an undeniable fact that no one could actually live a happy life if you disgust yourself no matter how privileged you seemed to be on the outside.
She had tried all her best to burry it deep in her soul, tormented her mind to throw away the insane thoughts, jammed her head to forget about it but then she came home, it returned to her, full force, unrelentingly and wickedly. It was always there to toss her down the bottom of a pitch-black hell where she could never find a way out.
Because he was there with his relaxed posture on the couch, smiling at her and that was all it took her to forget about her mental struggle.
The smile was nothing but fatherly, she knew it. Always knew it since what else could it be when it was from her own father? He cared about her in the dearest and most normal way a daddy could do while her distorted mind saw it in another light. Her heart always constricted achingly when she saw that smile and the heat already radiated from her cheeks. She had to stop being like this, she knew but Kami, he never gave her a damned rest.
Looking sideway to the stair leading to the second floor, Sakura muttered with difficulty to the silver-haired man:
"Dad"
"You're early today, how's your work , Honey?"
"Like normal" – replying coldly, taking off the boots to avoid looking in her father's mask-less face, Sakura quietly strode to the stairs, clearly not sparing a moment for dad and daughter little chatting. Sensing his daughter's estranged attitude, Kakashi let out a small imperceptible sign and said gently:
"Go get changed quickly, honey, I've already done the dinner, all the dishes you like"
She may mutter a "Yes" but it was all lost to him since she quickly disappeared at the stairs with her hurried steps.
Things were all this awkward since the incident two months ago and he always wished that he would not do the same thing if he could turn back the time. He knew it. His daughter was closing her heart from him and he could do nothing about it because it was simply his fault.
The dinner rolled by in an airy blanket of tension and tediousness. They said nothing even when Kakashi had tried to lift the heaviness out of the atmosphere around them these days several times. No luck, Sakura just answered curtly and resumed her eating right after that. The strain was still there after the dinner was finished and quietly, Sakura did the clean-up while Kakashi was helping her to put some dishes into the washing bowl. She was not looking anywhere but the soapy sink as if it was much more interesting than talking to her own father.
"Are you mad at me, Sakura?"
A little taken aback by her father's sudden question, Sakura turned to look at him wide-eye and then swiftly looked away down to the washing basin again:
"No, I'm not"
"You're never good at lying, girl, so don't do it"
"When I say I'm not, this means I'm not, why can you just buy it, dad?" – she grumbled in annoyance and instantly hated herself for blaming her distress on a completely innocent father.
"I just can't. If you still hate me that much, you probably tell me. Sakura, we're family, why don't you just talk to me and we can fix it, dear?"
"Because we can't"
Sakura spat and glared at her dad while her hand together with the washing rag was balling into a fist. Only Kakashi's eye growed larger a fraction at his daughter's sudden outburst of anger, other than that he did not really give much away from his unruffled face. He however held her gaze in silence as if giving her a chance to explain herself of this abnormal behavior rather than vocalizing his own thoughts. Sakura lost it fast as boring into an unfathomable onyx eye was unnerving so she quickly looked away:
"There's nothing wrong with us, so why don't we just drop it, dad"
After a few seconds of stillness as if pondering whether to pursue this awkward conversation or just let it go, Kakashi finally said:
"Alright"
She had cried a lot on her bed many nights until she was too tired and fell asleep. She may still be crying in her sleep because when she woke up the next morning, her pillow cover was still holding the dampness blatantly under her touch.
"It's ok to cry, Sakura, as long as you could resolve yourself to do something after your tears are dry, your tears could actually make you stronger" was what she was taught by her father all these years.
"Living with strength and confidence, Sakura, you'll never regret it".
She did all her best to make the man closest and dearest to her heart proud simply because she knew she was the only person in this whole world who could make him smile a true smile. Because he gave her everything, because he once said she was his everything, she was more than willing to do anything for him. But since when, she did not know, the promise she quietly made for him embraced another entirely different meaning.
She had kept it so well that no one suspected except for that night at a bar. When she drank like there was no tomorrow and her tear already flooded her wine when she disclosed her deepest secret. Because of that night she had reached the bottom of hell.
She was madly in love with her own father – Hatake Kakashi and she could never stop loving him.
Her dad did not talk much about her mother except for the fact that she was named after her. Knowing her dad, Sakura understood when to stop a conversation to prevent any unnecessary strict looks that could reduce most boys of her age (or adults) to nothing from him.
However, curiosity and insolence still got the better of her sometimes, as she knew he had soft spots for her more than anyone else. So she probed him and tried to find out as much information as she could from this look-alike mother she never met.
It was normal for the offspring to look like his or her parent but at least there must be something to tell them apart from each other in the facial areas. Just like Sachiko who looked so much like her mum had her dad's dark black eyes and her brother who looked just like his dad otherwise had his mother's blue eyes.
The similarities between her and her mother were startling. Same hair, same height and nearly same outfits because she also loved wearing red just like her mum. The only very subtle difference was her mum looked a bit more feminine than her.
She did not know her maternal grandparents but she did not think they were first-classed ninja like her dad who was just second in strength (definitely not in wit) to the Hokage himself (but mainly because of his age, the Hokage was fourteen years his junior). They would not train her mother with combat skills and martial arts ever since she was two like her dad. They would definitely not throw her into icy cold water to train her how to swim and survive in the wild when she was five. The result was that Hatake Sakura was without doubt more tomboyish than her mother Haruno Sakura.
Her mother also had this girly charm about her smile that made Sakura somewhat jealous because no matter how she looked at herself in the mirror she could not see any of that charisma coming through.
But the more she looked at her mother, the more she realized she did not have anything from her dad side in her. She was naturally happy and extraverted when he was a bit of a cool-headed anti-social. She was very easily to be amused or angered when he was hard to be impressed. Her affection would be of that loud and exuberant nature when his was deep and subtle. She saw more of herself in the Sixth Hokage – Uzumaki Naruto than her real dad Hatake Kakashi.
She wondered if her mother was exactly like that? There was too little about her that she knew. No one seemed to tell her much about her mother even when she pulled out many tricks from her sleeves such as the lip-pouting, face-sulking and ultimate puppy eyed looks.
There was only one thing she knew for sure they all loved her mother deeply.
How could they not when after so many years, they never forgot her birthday and her death day? From the little, scattered stories they revealed to her about her mother, they seemed to be so fond of her that it still pained them with her death after sixteen years.
Her dad was especially tight-lipped about her mother even when she saw him looking at her picture many nights before he went to bed. She hardly ever saw him with another woman after all those years (except for a certain black curly-haired, ruby-eyed kunoichi who she did not want to think about). If it was not love then she did not know what it was anymore.
He did speak very highly of her on occasions, stating that she was an extremely clever medic – a genius in her own right even. She was one of his students. He did not really say it but she could make a very good guess from one of the pictures on his nightstand. She was in the same team with uncle Naruto (Katsuya, Fuuko and Ryuuki's dad), Sasuke (Itachi's dad) and Sai (Sachiko's Dad). She was also the Fifth Hokage – Tsunade-baa-chan's apprentice.
She did not know how her dad and her mum started their relationship but they were teacher and student and she was fourteen years younger than him and on top of that she died of childbirth at seventeen.
It must have been very scandalous at that time.
Hell, it must have been scandalous at any time.
Sakura knew the pity stares some of the adults gave her when they thought she was not looking.
Sachiko's mother was the worst. Sometimes she just got hugged all of a sudden from behind by this voluptuous woman then she told her:
"Forehead, I can't believe you're back".
Knowing how she would feel if her best friend Sachiko passed away on her like that, Sakura did not mind her mother's somewhat lunatic reaction too much even when Mrs Ino's teary eyes directed at her were a bit of an overkill in her opinion.
Sometimes she wondered whether she had a fair share of that scandalous trait from her mother as well.
It was definitely not normal to have all of these forbidden feelings…
If her dad was not Kakashi, may be it would not happen. Even though Sakura belonged to the élite circles of children at Konoha, whose parents were just as illustrious war veterans as any S-class criminals out there, her dad was considered (not only by her but her friends as well) as the coolest dad of all.
He had this calm and mysterious air around him that intimidated and excited children and adults alike. Even when he was ancient with his age, he did not look that old with his lean, relaxed and athletic gait. Her friends would have no idea how young and handsome he was under that mask. He was forty-seven but he looked no older than thirty-five.
Sakura did not think any other boys of her age, no matter how beautiful they were (like the Uchiha's brothers, Hyuga Kimura, Sarutobi Ryota), would possess the same manly magnetism her dad had. And It was just so sinful, so wrong thinking of her dad that way. Sometimes, she really wish if she could die…
She missed all the innocent times when he lifted her up from the ground, twirled her around to show her how proud he was of her with her shinobii's achievement. She missed their teases and easy conversations he just had with her and only her because he was not the type of person who liked to open up with anyone.
She missed when she was being stubborn and rebellious, arguing with him for not understanding her, running away from home, then he just always knew where she was hiding and brooding and dragged her out of that hell-hole and made her laugh again in a matter of a few minutes later.
She missed when they sparred with each other in the wood and she loved to impress him with her perfect chakra control. She missed when she was eavesdropping on him talking to the Hokage that he did not want to become any other genin team's teacher but hers because even when she was excellent, he still wanted to be there for her in her first few missions.
She missed his kisses on her forehead before she slept. She missed how awkward and perturbed he looked anytime she asked him questions of sensitive topics about human anatomy she did not understand. She missed all of her silent but happy Christmases when she sat on his lap and insisted on waiting for Santa Claus even when she had yawned a hundred times while he patiently ruffled her hair with affectionate strokes.
She missed how she got mad at him for over protecting her when they went on missions together and accused him of not trusting her enough and then he just shrugged her off without even explaining himself.
She missed them so much that it hurt even further that these times may never come back again all because of her twisted mind.