Hey everyone! This is simplymondler and C-Rokkk! We've worked hard on this and we sincerely hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it! We're pretty much finished with this baby (believe us when we say it's long-we just couldn't stop writing!) and will post updates periodically. It's an angsty one but stick with it! Anyway, on to the story! Leave us a review when you get to the end? :)

Chandler sighed heavily as he slammed the door to apartment 19. What a crappy, crappy day. Work had been nothing but hassle after problem and to top it off, he'd got caught in a freak rain shower coming home; just typical of his life at the moment.

He threw his damp jacket onto the foosball table and scrubbed a hand through his wet hair. He passed the happily quacking duck as he collapsed into one of the barcaloungers.

"Sure, you'd love it out there," he grouched at his feathered-roommate as he kicked off his wet shoes. "Perfect weather for ducks at least."

He was pulled out of his one-sided conversation as the apartment door swung open to reveal Monica. A happy, excited, smiley Monica. Just what he didn't need right now...he didn't have the energy.

"Hey," he greeted as he faked a smile; he'd been doing that a lot around her recently, around everyone.

"Hi Chandler," she replied brightly.

He knew her smile was anything but fake. Chandler watched as she practically skipped towards him, eagerly handing him a familiar shiny silver envelope. Damn. As she did, the light caught the large sparkling diamond on her left hand. The large sparkling diamond which was the reason for why she was so happy, excited and smiley lately…and the reason for why he'd probably never have a genuine smile ever again.

"What's this?" he asked, trying to look innocent whilst ignoring the deep churning in the pit of his stomach as he accepted her offering. He knew damn well what it was, but he didn't want to acknowledge it. Didn't want to have to see it ever again or believe it. He clung onto a tiny bit of hope that his piercing gut feeling was wrong; that it might be something else. Anything else but…

"It's your wedding invite, silly," she grinned widely, proudly, as she hopped onto a kitchen stool. "I found it under a pile of books by the window. I may not have mentioned it recently but- I'm engaged! I'm getting married! I'm gonna be a bride!"

"Right," he deadpanned, "I'd almost forgotten."

He hadn't. Couldn't. The woman spoke about nothing else these days. She was happy. She'd found her 'one' and was planning the perfect wedding of her dreams on an open-ended budget. She could literally have anything she wanted, so of course she was happy. She was allowed to be, meant to be.

And he was happy that she was happy, really he was. Well, he tried to be. She had found a nice guy that treated her right. One that could spoil her in the way she so truly deserved. Someone that understood how cherished and treasured she was and knew how lucky they were to be with her.

She was going to get married, move into his mansion, have 2.4 kids, raise her perfect family and live her perfect life. Have her happily ever after...with another man.

And him? He was going to watch every painful crushing moment and pretend to be happy about it, even if he was slowly dying inside, day by horrible day. Her happiness was what was important, not his.

"Well, open it then!" she insisted, a big smile on her gorgeous face. "I don't know how it ever got where it did! Especially unopened; I gave this to you months ago."

"Right," he sighed, swallowing hard, he knew exactly how it had gotten there; he remembered the desperate need to hide it and deny its existence. Now, though he had little choice, the woman was watching him with such an excited and anxious expression on her face. Trying to hide how his hands were starting to shake as his insides twisted, he forced his blunt fingers to tug open the seal and he pulled out the immaculate invitation.

The invitation that he had been dreading. He hated it straight away. He wanted to burn it, rip it into tiny little pieces and pretend that all of this wasn't happening. That this hell he was currently trapped in was just another nightmare; that he'd eventually wake up and discover it wasn't real. Because it wasn't meant to be happening. Not like this. Not with him.

Chandler tried to control his breathing, struggling to keep his mask in place, well aware of her intense eyes on him; they felt like they were burning through his skull. Slowly, he lowered his own eyes onto the parchment paper, having to face the inevitable, even if he wasn't ready for it; would probably never be ready for it.

There, on the front in an elegant script, was his bitter reality check. Staring back at him in black and white. Proof that this was really happening.

Monica and Pete.

6 Months Earlier…

Monica walked into her apartment where four out of her five friends sat in the living room, sharing a bucket of popcorn and watching a movie. She rushed right over to them, waving excitedly to get their attention, "Guys!" She finally yelled, causing each pair of eyes to look at her. When she didn't say anything else, they all turned back to the TV, except for Ross, who continued to look at her.

"Hey," Ross said plainly, eating some more popcorn, "How was your date with Pete?"

She sighed heavily, "It was great!" She leaned down and grabbed the remote, turning the television off, "I need everyone's attention, please."

Joey groaned, "Mon, that was the best part!" he whined.

Monica stomped her foot, "I have news!" she yelled.

Ross opened his arms, "Well, you have our attention. Tell us."

She sighed, "But Chandler's not here. He needs to hear this!"

Rachel looked at her, "Can't you tell him later?" She pointed to the screen, "We want to get back to the movie!"

Monica sighed angrily, "This is big, okay? It's gigantic!"

Phoebe looked her up and down, "Are you pregnant?"

She shook her head, "No!" She went to the door and opened it, looking down the hall in the off chance Chandler was back from wherever he was. With no luck, she shut the door and walked back to the living room. "Okay, I guess I can tell him later." She sat down next to the coffee table, "So, Pete and I were at this great place, and we were eating and everything is normal. So he grabs my hand and then he has twelve waiters come out with roses, each one of them standing around the table. And then he gets down on one knee and," she held out her left hand, showing off the brand new diamond on her ring finger, "I'm engaged!"

The girls squealed and stood, rushing over to her, grabbing her hand to inspect the new jewelry, "Oh my god! It's beautiful!" Rachel fanned her face, "It's perfect! I can see little specks of money in there!"

Monica rolled her eyes at the mention of Pete's fortune, "Rachel!"

Phoebe grabbed her for a hug, "This is so great! I didn't know you liked him that much!"

Rachel laughed, "Well of course she does! It's Pete Becker! He's worth trillions of dollars!"

Monica leaned back from Phoebe's hug to look at her high school friend, "Rachel you know that I love him because he's sweet and caring and thoughtful and not because he has a little money, right?"

She waved a hand, "Of course I know that."

Monica sighed, "Okay, good. Because you had me worried."

Ross had joined them, leaning over Rachel to kiss his sister on the cheek, "This is great news, Mon. But you know I haven't had my big brother talk with him yet."

Joey also stood, moving over to her to kiss her other cheek, "Fantastic Mon, now can we please get back to the movie?!"

Monica sighed, ignoring the Italian man, "I am so excited this is happening. I didn't think Pete was ready to get married but he said he loves me so much and I…" she stopped when the door opened.

"Hey," Chandler announced as he walked into the apartment, looking at them as they peeled away from Monica. He walked over to them, "I thought you guys were watching a movie?"

"We were trying to." Joey said, earning a look of confusion from his friend, "Monica has news," he explained.

Monica looked at him, rolling her eyes, "You guys can get back to the movie, okay? I'll tell Chandler in here," she grabbed his arm and moved into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

He let her pull him onto her bed, sitting down on the edge of it. She still had a hold on his arm, and honestly, he didn't mind, "So, um," he sat up straighter, "What's going on?"

Monica shifted and moved her hand down to his hand, squeezing it a little. Somehow, it was different telling him, because recently, he had really been there for her. Even when Pete went through that whole ridiculous ultimate fighting champion thing, he was there. He told her not to give up on him, to give him a chance.

The truth is that he had always been there for her. She honestly thought of him as her very best friend and she was glad he was in her life.

He raised his eyebrows at her, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, "Yes. Th-there's something I need to tell you," she started, her hands suddenly cold with nervousness.

He nodded, waiting on her to continue, and watched as she smiled, all of her perfectly white teeth glowing in front of him. He looked down when she dropped his hand and held up hers, the ring blinding him as it caught the light, "Oh." He said to her, trying to muster up as much enthusiasm as he could, as it slowly started to dawn on him what it meant, "Congratulations!"

She sighed, relieved that he reacted the way he did, "Oh, thank you!"

He grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her for a hug, "That's really great, Mon," he tried to keep the shaking out of his voice, "I am…" he cleared his throat, "I'm glad you're happy."

She looked into his blue eyes, "Thank you, I am," She rubbed the back of his hand, "I'm going to be a bride!"

Chandler chuckled, "Yeah, you are!" He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, she was going to be a beautiful bride. He couldn't process this right now. He was sick to his stomach, "Congratulations, again," he said to her, "I'm really happy for you." He winced when his voice cracked on the last word. "I'm gonna go," he said, standing from her bed and dropping her hand, "I've got some," he paused, "the Knicks game is coming on and I wanted to um," he took a breath, "watch it."

She nodded, puzzled at the sudden awkwardness that fell over them, but not wanting to bring anything up that would put a damper on her engagement night, "Okay! We're all going out to dinner tomorrow, so make sure you don't have any plans!"

He nodded a little, "Alright." He left the room and walked through the living room, nobody noticing him because they were sucked into whatever movie they were watching. He shut the apartment door behind him, leaning on it and closing his eyes.

Crap.

"Chandler?" She called, breaking through his painful memories to bring him back to an even more painful present. It had only got worse since the months went on.

"Hmm?"

"Well?" she looked expectant.

He frowned, "well what?"

"You're still coming right?"

"You know, I didn't realize the date, I actually have a hair appointment," he quipped.

God, he wished it were true. Wished he had something unavoidable that he couldn't cancel. Some excuse for not watching as the woman of his dreams married another man. Watched as they looked deep into each other's eyes, made heartfelt vows and promises and then shared their first kiss as man and wife. Watched as they started their happily ever after...together...without him.

"Well, cancel it mister," she chuckled jumping off the stool, "besides, it looks like you've already had a hair wash," she teased, reaching out to ruffle his still-wet hair. "Get caught in the rain?"

He clenched his teeth. He'd tried to distance himself, really he had, especially once they had become engaged. He wasn't supposed to feel like this; wasn't allowed to feel like this. But it was these little innocent touches that completely undid him. The power this woman had over him and she didn't even know it; sadly she'd never know it.

"Uh no," he cleared his throat, "I just took the duck for a swim."

"Right," she rolled her blue eyes good-naturedly, well used to his humor, "then, I'm taking that as an acceptance."

It was his turn to roll his blue eyes. "You know I'm already coming," he tried to keep the pain out of his voice, "I'm one of the ushers."

Lucky him. It wasn't bad enough that he had to be in the same room watching this nightmare but he actually had to be a part of this god-forsaken wedding. Watch her walk down that aisle to a waiting Pete. God, he just prayed he could get through it, he had no choice but to get through it.

"I know," she smiled happily, "I wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Bing."

She patted his cheek playfully, not noticing the way his jaw tensed under her fingers.

"Well, I better go," she announced, turning and making her way to the door, "oh, don't forget you have Pete's bachelor party at the weekend."

"Sure, how could I forget," he plastered on that fake smile he'd become so good at as she waved and left.

The moment the door closed the smile vanished. He dropped the unwanted invitation onto his lap and covered his face with his hands as he let out a suffering sigh, taking a shaky breath. How was he going to get through this? He'd known it was coming, of course he had. He'd been there at every freaking painful step of this wedding process.

Pete's bachelor party was something else he was dreading, another nail in his coffin. He'd have to spend the whole night with the man he resented being at the center of attention. Listen to everyone congratulate him again and again and listen to his future plans with Monica. God, it was going to be so painful.

But, it was just another thing he had to push down and bury deep within him; he vaguely wondered just how much capacity was left until he either had an aneurysm, or everything finally exploded out of him. It seemed he was constantly pushing down his feelings and hurt.

He just hoped he could last until the wedding before he became a broken wreck of a man.

"You alright, man?"

He pulled his hands away from his face quickly, not having heard his non-feathered roommate enter the apartment.

"I'm f-fine," he covered quickly, hoping his face wasn't betraying him. That the mask he constantly wore around his friends was back firmly in place.

"You don't look it," Joey frowned stepping closer into the room, closer to him. "What's that?" he gestured towards the invite, where it still lay mockingly in his lap.

"Oh, just, uh, Monica's invitation...to her wedding," he swallowed hard, hating the emotion that was leaking into his voice without permission.

"Oh right, you only just getting one now?"

Chandler shrugged, not wanting to tell him the truth. Not wanting to face the truth of his crappy reality of his crappy life.

The Italian was still frowning slightly, his eyes still critically studying him and it made him uncomfortable. He didn't need this.

"I'm gonna grab a shower," Chandler muttered, getting up quickly, and picking up the stupid invite, trying not to clench his fist and screw it up, not in front of Joey.

He knew his friend knew that something was bothering him. As much as he tried hiding it, it was hard to be on guard 24/7, especially as he lived with the man. Since Monica had announced her engagement to Pete, Chandler's heart had shattered and he hadn't been the same person. He feared he could never be the same person ever again.

But he couldn't burden Joey with his confessions. Joey hated secrets and would feel torn between his loyalties to both friends. Worse, he'd probably give Chandler the sympathetic eyes every time he was in the same room as Monica. It was hard enough as it was and he didn't need any additional pressure.

No, he had to keep it to himself. He had no choice.

He had to force himself to keep this masquerade going. At least until the wedding.

He could last until then. He had too.

TBC...

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