Unlabelled
He has always stayed by her side.
Sasahara Souhei, the friendly and popular baseball player in High School, has been in love with Natsume Asako for four years now. He lost count how many times he had confessed to her, lost count how many times they had rocked back and forth quarreling and getting on good terms again. She is a complicated and stubborn girl. Natsume surely gives him so much of a hard time. And he had known so, long before he fell in love with the girl, that the path he would be taking with his feelings will never be easy. Still he stayed.
He could have given up months ago, or years even. When she outright rejected her, and continued rejecting him. Yet the girl has the gall to call upon him still. She would occassionally rang his phone when she is upset and would like to rant about her day. She would be the one to drag him along to eat at newly discovered cafes, or to accompany her shopping. She would knock on his apartment door whenever she feels lonely for some reason or invite him to her dorm when she wants to have someone around. Any person who would look at the pair would say that they are a couple, but Sasayan knew better. He knows his feelings would still have a long way to go to be reciprocated.
It would be a lie to say that he didn't get tired of it. He is human too, and no matter how much he could wait, there will be moments when he would wonder just how long could he spend for waiting for her feelings to evolve into love. Sometimes it scares him to think that they may remain like this forever – very close as more than friends but never near enough to be in love. He genuinely loves her of course. And he is not one to force upon people feelings just because he feels miserable, hopeless, and helpless. But he does gets tired. And this was one of those days that such thoughts hit him.
"Natsume-san, I think that's enough for today. How about we go back?" the sudden change in Sasayan's voice made Natsume turn abruptly to him, and sure enough there's a weird look on Sasayan's face. He looks exhausted, and hurt. Did she really overdid with the shopping?
"Are you alright, Sasayan-kun?" she stopped walking to get a closer look at him and he avoided her eyes when she turned to look his face.
"Natsume-san, I'm sorry, but can I go ahead?" he slowly dropped the shopping bags on the ground, Natsume was too surprised and confused to react.
He made his way to leave, turned a corner and didn't even bother looking back to a still frozen Natsume with the shopping bags at her feet. Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind him and his shirt was yanked back forcefully he almost fell down. Sasayan twisted his body in search of whoever 'attacked' him and he came face to face with a tearful Natsume.
Her arms hung on her sides and a few tears rolling on his white cheeks. Sasayan instinctively wiped a tear that fell down on her face and Natsume looked up to meet his gaze. He froze.
"Why did you leave just like that?" Natsume blurted out.
Sasayan didn't answer but stared at her. Once again, Natsume-san is being unreasonable. She tells him that he hates it when he confesses to her, or when he treats him with special attention. Whenever she feels like he makes moves on her, she would deliberately ignore him for days, or weeks. And he's supposed to accept all that because it's his fault, he went over the boundaries.
"If you're feeling unwell, you could have told me. You didn't have to run on me like that." Sasayan sighed. Natsume is a really hard person to deal with. How can she not tell he wanted some time alone for himself? He just want to be away from her for some time and figure things on his own.
He does not want to be harsh, but sometimes being direct with Natsume is the best way to deal with things.
"I'm sorry Natsume-san, but I don't like to be see you for a while. I might not answer your calls for some time too."
Natsume blinked and he searched his face to see the truth in his words.
"Wh-Why? Did I do something wrong?"
Sasayan shook his head lightly. "No, it's nothing like that. It's just-" he scratched the back of his head. "-it's just me. I'll be back for you once I'm done thinking about things."
"What things?" Natsume stopped crying, yet her face still looks so sad and hurt. Sasayan wants to punch himself for that, but he can't really do anything about it, right? No matter what, he'll get either of them hurt in the process. This time, it might be Natsume to take on the pain.
"Things about us."
"Why are you thinking about those things? I told you, we're not-"
"That's exactly it!" Sasayan didn't mean to shout at her. But it was too late. She backed away one step, her features spoke of his fear of him suddenly snapping at her. Sasayan buried his face in his hands.
"I'm sorry for yelling at you, Natsume-san. Please, I really have to go now. I'll see you next time."
He was about to leave when he felt her hands wrapped around his wrist. He glanced at her again and saw Natsume with hesitating eyes.
"Hey, Sasayan-kun." Her voice sounded as if she was preparing for the worst, of what, Sasayan was about to find out. "Do you still like me?"
Despite himself, Sasayan managed a slight blush and he hastily pulled away at her touch.
"Do you still like me?"
For some reason, Sasayan feels like he cannot answer her. His eyes flitted anywhere but on Natsume's face, Natsume only looked at him.
"What's this, I thought you hate this stuff." He finally managed to say.
"I-I do. So Sasayan-kun, why are you not answering my question?" her voice was frail and trembling. Sasayan knew he was worrying her. But he cannot stop.
He finally looked at her in the eye and there was fear in those eyes of hers. Yet Sasayan felt that he cannot stop himself anymore.
"Maybe. Maybe I don't." His voice was cold and emotionless, and he left a wide-eyed Natsume to herself.
ooOoo
He loudly closed the door and buried himself into his pillows when he reached his apartment. He felt useless, a bastard. He wants to hit himself with something. Why would he say that to her? The girl who he loved for all these years. Is his feelings not strong enough? Perhaps he had overestimated himself. Perhaps, his feelings weren't any deeper than a mere admiration for a pretty girl like Natsume. But if it is, why did he still want to run back to her, tell her sorry, and that he likes her over and over again until she gets mad? When did he ever became this conflicted with himself?
'Perhaps she's brushing on me. We spend so much time together anyway.'
He contemplated on calling her but he thought better not to. Isn't it why he said those words to her in the first place? Because he wants to clear his mind of unneccessary thoughts. He cannot succumbed to it now.
And so it was then, that Sasayan had stopped calling Natsume and stopped coming to her dorm. She was insistent of course, but all he did was ignore her calls and avoid her at all costs.
The next time they met again was two months after that day, when they went skiing with their friends during winter break.
ooOoo
The first hint that there was something wrong between them was when Natsume didn't even acknowledge Sasayan's arrival to their meeting place. She had tackled Shizuku to a hug of course, greeted Haru cheerfully, and exchanged greetings with the other girls especially Iyo. But she acted as if Sasayan wasn't there at all.
"Did I make you wait long?" Sasayan asked as a way of greeting.
"Not really, Sasayan-kun. We are still waiting for them." By 'them' Ooshima meant Yamaken and his friends, who were still not around.
"Good. Good. I thought I was the last one."
"Why were you late, Sasayan?" asked Haru.
"Ah. I still have to send some files on an e-mail. Took me quite long." And Shizuku asked him how he was going with his studies. Naturally, she asked Natsume the same question.
Natsume laughed sheepishly, sweat fell from his face despite it being cold.
"Hehe. Mitty let's just enjoy vacation."
Shizuku only eyed her suspiciously. "Natsume-san, you should focus more on your studies. Aren't you scared to get left behind?" It is not a surprise anymore for Shizuku to be this blunt, after all it is one of her better traits.
Natsume chose to ignore her and continued her conversation with Haru. Shizuku turned to Sasayan instead.
"Honestly, aren't you supposed to keep her in check?"
Both Sasayan and Natsume flinched, noticing this, Haru said, "What's this? Are you two fighting?"
Whatever their answer was was drowned out by the arrival of Yamaken and his friends. Soon enough the group piled up into the cars provided by the Yamaguchi and they rode excitedly towards the ski resort, except of course Natsume and Sasayan who were intent on pretending the other one is not with them.
As usual for the group, they immediately went over to ski after setting down their things at the resort house. Shizuku was being helped by Ooshima and Sasayan, Haru and Yamaken were competing on skiing, Natsume was being chased by Yamaken's friends, Yuu and Iyo were skiing rather peacefully. They continued their skii after lunch and when dinner came, the girls took liberty to cook for the meal which the boy's did groceries for. It was almost like that time during their High School trip and the group had so much fun for the day. That was until Haru insisted on going on playing Hide and Seek like before. Many protested, as they were supposed to be adults already, in the end, they all caved in and Haru was chosen as 'It'.
Natsume immediately went upstairs and hid inside a room where spare blankets, pillows, and other beddings are kept inside the house. She went behind one of the piled up mattresses and sat leaning on the wall. Just as she was about to exhale in relief of finding the perfect hiding spot, the door opened and another person entered. Natsume was too stunned to see Sasayan sitting in front of her, his back to the pile of matresses, but he was looking behind him where the door was.
Sasayan was too much into the game that he did not notice another person was inside the room until he heard Haru's shout from downstairs that he would be starting the search. Sasayan sighed in relief and turned his head when he saw Natsume sitting on the floor across from him. The shock of seeing Natsume upclose unexpectedly made him jerk and utter a sound of surprise but before he could do so a hand clamped on his mouth.
Natsume covered Sasayan's mouth with her hand while signalling her other hand for Sasayan to be quiet. They heard footsteps outside the room and their muscles tensed. When the footsteps faded away, both of them relaxed. Natsume put his hand down and they settled into an uncomfortable silence.
Now Sasayan does not know what to do. Being the friendly and easy to get along person he is, he rarely finds himself in awkward situations, especially with a certain Natsume who he hadn't even seen this past two months, much less spoken to.
The silence was so defeaning Sasayan felt all the urge to leave, however they are still going with the game and he is not someone to lose easily.
Natsume, her face flushed with pink, brought up her knees close to her and wrapped her arms tightly around them. The silence was suffocating her and she wished for nothing than to get out of the room immediately. Suddenly, her nose wrinkled from the smell of the fabrics and she instinctively lifted her head to sneeze.
The sneeze didn't come, but Sasayan's fingers pinched her nose. Natsume was too stunned to protest, and once again they heard footsteps outside the room. Sasayan was looking behind him, when the footsteps faded he turned his head to Natsume and he flushed red when he noticed how dangerously close they were.
He had one hand clamped on Natsume's nose, and he was kneeling forward, one hand on the wall on Natsume's side to support his weight. Sasayan blinked.
Suddenly, Natsume couldn't take it anymore, she has to let out the sneeze. And so Sasayan, his reflexed enhanced by playing baseball, immediately grabbed Natsume and buried her head into his chest, muffling her sneeze. Thankfully, at the same moment, Haru's voice exclaiming he found Ooshima rang the house and nobody else heard Natsume sneeze.
And so Natsume found herself, embraced by Sasayan, his arms around her shoulders and his legs closing in on her. Her face buried on his chest, Natsume could hear his heartbeat racing. They stayed like that for a few seconds and Natsume could feel Sasayan heat up.
They finally broke up, Natsume pushed herself up but not so much so as she looked in front of her, she was right in front Sasayan's face, his arms still around her and his legs.
Both of them froze, staring into each others face like they were searching for something. Then a tear ran down Natsume's face.
She was about to cry, launched at him and hit him with all the strength she got. She was prepared to yell at him for being a stupid jerk who left him all alone the past two months. Natsume braced herself. Then something warm and soft touched her lips.
Sasayan was kissing her. Not the hard and forceful one but just enough to stop her from screaming at him. Her eyes widened but she didn't pull back.
It was that scene which Haru came across with when he opened the door. Bright light illuminated the dark room and Haru saw Sasayan and Natsume on the floor embracing with their lips together. Haru gulped the words he was about to say and hastily blurted out a 'Sorry for disturbing!' instead as he shut the door tight, face reddening.
When he reached downstairs, Shizuku (who didn't participate in their game) eyed him suspiciously.
"What's with your face, Haru? Did you see something?"
Haru mumbled a 'yeah' and told everyone not to come by the room on the second floor. Yamaken smirked knowingly and Ooshima blushed. Iyo exclaimed "My, my". Yuu just said in awe:
"Good for them! It's been long overdue for them already."
Yamaken's friends, being clueless, pestered them for an answer but Shizuku got mad and send them away to the balcony to play another game and so they settled with Uno in the living room.
Sasayan slowly broke apart a second after Haru shut the door closed and he let go of Natsume. Natsume slowly settled back to lean on the wall again.
"I-I'm sorry." Squeaked Natsume in her little voice, Sasayan stared at her incredulously.
"What are you apologizing for Natsume-san?"
Natsume refused to look at him in the eye.
"I don't know really. I just felt like I should." She exhaled deeply and decided to face him.
"What happened last time, it was my fault isn't it? My fault that Sasayan-kun acted that way. I'm sorry."
Sasayan suddenly felt stupid. He was the one who pushed her away because of him thinking unnecessary things. Why was she the one apologizing now?
"Natsume-san, you're wrong. That wasn't your fault, it was me being stupid."
"But I was giving you a hard time! I was selfish... I was.." she cried and her voice above a whisper. Tears glistened her pretty face and Sasayan couldn't help but cup her face into his hands and wipe away her tears.
"I'm sorry, Natsume-san." He said, voice full of sincere apology. "Will you forgive me?"
That was all it took for Natsume to finally break down. Her cries now clearly heard in the dark room and she rubbed her eyes with the back of her long sleeves, sniffing.
"Hey, Natsume-san. Are you not going to get mad at me? I kissed you, you know." Now that they have broken the wall between them, Sasayan was back to his old teasing self when dealing with Natsume.
Natsume abruptly stopped crying, realization dawned on her as Sasayan gave her a toothy grin.
"Wh-Wha..." she stuttered.
"I like you Natsume-san."
Sasayan leaned forwards and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. She froze.
"I really, really like you."
He pulled her close, deepening his kiss.
ooOoo
The next day at breakfast, Sasayan and Natsume were not on speaking terms again. But unlike before when tension filled the air around them, now they are back on their usual fights. Natsume glared at Sasayan who was cheerfully talking to Yamaken's freinds, her face flushed from the memory of last night and she buried her face into her hands. Sasayan meanwhile was acting strangely happier and livelier than when they first arrived.
"Natsume, what are you doing?" Shizuku asked when she saw Natsume hitting her face flat on the table.
"Mitty." Natsume called, voice weak and trembling.
"Are you sick, Natsume?" she placed a gentle hand on her forehead.
"Ah, Mizutani-san, what's wrong with Natsume?" Sasayan had suddenly plopped in front of them.
Shizuku put her hand down and stared deeply at Natsume's form.
"She's acting strange again. Well, Sasayan-kun, I'll leave you to her. I have to find Haru." Shizuku left.
Natsume stared pleadingly after Shizuku's retreating form, not wanting to be alone with Sasayan after what happened last night.
"Natsume-san, you're ignoring me again. Oh well, I have expected this anyway." And he flashed her a bright smile.
"Do-Don't get any ideas!"
"Like what Natsume-san?"
"S-Stop that!"
"Natsume-san, you're very red."
"Don't look at me!"
Sasayan laughed good naturedly as Natsume continued her ramblings. Haru and Shizuku exchanged smiles of happiness for their friends who looks to be progressing with their relationship. Ooshima silently congratulated them and Yuu beamed in happiness. Iyo was crying tears of joy for her Asako-senpai's love life.
ooOoo
Holding hand in hand, Sasayan led Natsume to sit on a bench at the park across Natsume's school. Natsume sat obligingly and Sasayan followed.
"What is it Sasayan-kun? You said there was something you want to tell me."
Sasayan let go of her hand and leaned on the bench. He then looked at Natsume with twinkling eyes.
"Ah Natsume-san. How long have we been going out?"
Natsume flushed bright red. "We-We're not going out!"
Sasayan brushed her words away. "Yeah yeah. So these dates are just friendly hang outs?"
"They're not dates!"
"We hold hands."
"That doesn't matter!"
"You let me met your dad."
"As friends!"
Sasayan sighed. "Fine." He leaned forwards, face inches from Natsume's flushed ones and she instinctively pushed his face away with her hand.
"I-I t-told you s-stop doing that!"
"Hahaha! Natsume-san you're like a tomato!"
"S-Stop that!" she exhaled deeply and calmed herself. "So, Sasayan-kun, what is it that you want to talk about?"
Sasayan stopped laughing.
"Oh that's right." He smiled at her.
"Natsume-san, from now on, can we call each other's first names?"
Natsume blushed furiously.
"Wh-Why is that?" She's not a fool. She knows it's one of Sasayan's ploy to trick her since people who usually call each other by first names are close friends or couples.
Sasayan looked at her thoughtfully. "Well, since we've been friends for five years already, I was thinking we drop the formalities, you know."
Natsume eyed him suspiciously. "That's it?"
He nodded. "That's it. Unless there's anything else?" there was a hint of prompt in his voice.
"No, nothing."
He sighed in relief. "Then, why don't you try calling me with my first name, Asako?"
Natsume felt her eyes widened and she stared back at him in horror.
"Come on. Try saying it."
He was smiling so easily like it was no big deal and Natsume felt offended.
"S-Stop that Sasayan-kun!"
Sasayan shook his head. "No, Asako. Call me Souhei. Now say it again."
Natsume gulped and her lips tremble slightly. She opened her mouth hesitatingly, voice barely above a whisper.
"Sou-Sou... Souhei." She called her, eyes down.
"Asako, I can't hear you like that."
"Sou-Souhei." She repeated a little louder this time.
"How about you say it again?"
"Souhei." She said more confidently this time, although she still refused to look at him.
"That's it." He leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead. Natsume blushed and Sasayan stood up.
He held his hands for her.
"Let's go Asako."
Natsume took his hands in her and stood up. She flushed him a bright smile.
"Yes, Souhei."
And the pair walked side by side with hands intertwined down the street.
END.
Omake
"Asako, turn off the TV when you're done watching." Sasayan sighed and bent down to push the off button. He stared at Asako lying down on the sofa, a laptop on her chest and she was typing something.
Sasayan sat down at the edge of the long sofa and gently lifted her feet and laid it on his lap.
"What do you want for dinner?" he asked Natsume.
"Ramen." She said simply, eyes glued on the laptop screen.
Sasayan sighed again. "I thought so. I'm kind of exhausted from work, so let's just order ramen." He punched numbers into his phone and called the ramen store for take out and delivery.
He slipped his phone back to his pocket and stared at Natsume.
"Hey, Asako. Did you finish your presentation for work already?"
Natsume stopped in her track. "Wh-What are you talking about? Of course I did." She stuttered.
"So you haven't started it yet." Sasayan translated. "Well then, good luck."
Natsume ignored him and continued her work.
"Hey. Should we get married?"
That made Natsume froze. And she hastily sat up, laptop laid on the floor and looked at Sasayan questioningly.
"Souhei!"
Sasayan propped his elbow on the back of the sofa and rested his chin on his hand.
"What? Don't you think it's something we should seriously consider already? We've been living together for two years. My mom's been pestering me when we would get hitched."
Natsume just continued giving him suspicious looks.
"Look, Asako. We're adults already. We're both 25. And we've been together for years. I was thinking of settling down."
Natsume crossed her arms and didn't look at him.
"What are you talking about Souhei? It's not like we're a couple or what."
Sasayan nodded impatiently. Natsume is being stubborn again. "Yeah, yeah. We're just friends living under the same roof doing adult stuff from time to time." He grinned mischievously at her.
Natsume's face brightened a deep shade of red.
"It's not like that!"
He leaned forwards and kissed her passionately, she was surprised but kissed him back, her hands running on his soft hair and his hands making circle motions on her back. Slowly, he brought her down with him. His one elbow supporting him and his other hand running along her hips. They remained in that position for some time, pulling away for a few seconds of air. Natsume has loosen his tie now and managed to unbutton three on his shirt. He now has his hand thumping on one of her breasts while the other was caressing her cheek gently. It was Sasayan who pulled away. Face flushed red and he held a blushing Natsume to sit up.
"Yeah. Just friends." He said, grinning at her.
Natsume faced her, eyes flaring.
"You did that on purpose!"
"You kissed me back."
"You started it!"
"Well, you didn't stop me either."
Sasayan watched her, amused. Anyone who knows them could tell that they are very much in love. However, Natsume has refused to label their relationship with anything beyond 'friends'.
"That does not change the fact that we do that kind of thing, Asako. Friends aren't supposed to be this intimate."
Natsume seemed to give this a thought, she sighed and turned to him seriously.
"I'm just scared you know."
Sasayan raised an eyebrow.
"Scared of what?"
She looked at him in the eye.
"Scared about this. I'm not one for relationships like Mitty and Haru."
Sasayan knows that it was not the right atmosphere for him to laugh. Yet, he chuckled heartedly at a wide-eyed Natsume.
"Wh-What are you laughing about?"
Sasayan stopped laughing and clutched his aching stomach.
"Asako, can you hear yourself? Our relationship is exactly like of Shizuku and Haru. Minus the marriage. And well, you're doing a pretty good job too." He grinned at her.
"Bu-But w-we're.."
"Just friends? C'mon Asako, we've been past being friends a long time ago. Stop denying it already. Haven't I told you that I love you over and over again? Although you haven't really told me that yet but anyway actions speak louder than words."
Natsume gulped, and she felt herself flushed in embarrassment.
"The-Then, Souhei, I-I l-love you." she said in a whisper.
Sasayan seemed taken aback. "Wh-What?"
Natsume closed her eyes and said a little loudly.
"I love you!"
Sasayan held her hands. "Open your eyes, Asako."
She did and Souhei held a diamond ring in front of her face.
"I love you, too. Will you marry me?"
It took a few seconds before Natsume's face brightened into a smile and she looked at Sasayan with face beaming with happiness.
"Yes, I will."
ooOoo
That's it! So much love for SasaNatsu!