Author's Note: Hey! If you're reading this story, you've probably already read Flutterbat's Hunger. If you haven't, you'll have absolutely no clue what's going on in this story. What are you doing here? Go read the first one! Oh, and review please, if it's not too much trouble. See you at the end. Farewell!
I knocked on the doctor's door and entered his office after a moment. I took a seat on the couch to the left of the light brown Earth pony doctor. He looked at me with a smile that I would've loved to return, but I couldn't. It was too much pain to smile after all that happened.
"Hello, Pinkie!" said the doctor cheerfully.
"Hello, doc." I said quietly.
"So, you've finally taken Princess Celestia's advice, hm? About seeking help?"
"Yes. It's been six months, and I think I'm ready to talk about it." I said. The doctor shook his head, still keeping a friendly smile on his face.
"Oh, Pinkie, I won't make you talk about the incident before you're ready." said the doctor.
"I'm ready."
"Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded my head in agreement. I had to get this off of my chest. "Okay. If at any point you would like to stop, we'll stop. But, for now, tell me about the incident. Ho-"
"Murders." I corrected.
"I beg your pardon?"
"The murders. My daddy taught me to treat things as they are, no matter how easy it is to call them something else." I said. "They were murdered, so that's what I'm going to say, if that's okay with you, doc."
"Oh, of course. Whatever helps you get it out best." said the doctor, his face falling and getting a bit more serious. "So, tell me about the murders."
"There's not much to tell. My friends are dead. Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Dashie, Fluttershy… all dead."
"I can't help but notice that you included Fluttershy on that list." said the doctor. "You still, after all that transpired, consider her to be your friend?"
"Yes." I said, trying to push Fluttershy out of my head. Her sharp fangs, the blood pouring from her chin after she bit RD… These images were still fresh in my mind, even after six months.
"Why is that? I would have thought that you hated Fluttershy."
"No. I can't hate Fluttershy, no matter what she's done. I still love her. Loved her." I said sadly.
"Are you glad that she's dead?" asked the doctor. That's the question I needed help answering. Well, one of them.
"I… I don't know. I wish that none of them were dead, but I'm glad Fluttershy can't hurt anypony else. I guess that I was happy that she's dead, but a little… disappointed."
"Disappointed? Disappointed by what?"
"Disappointed that I'm not." I admitted.
"Why did you want to die, Pinkie?" asked the doctor.
"I killed one of my bestest friends. Rainbow Dash is dead, and it's all my fault."
"Do you recall Fluttershy enchanting you? Turning you into her drudge?"
"I remember. I still should've been able to save her."
"What made you change your tune?" asked the doctor, leaning forward with interest. "You said that you did want to die. What changed that?"
"Mr. and Mrs. Cake." I said. "I couldn't leave them, not like that. Mrs. Cake would fall to pieces if she found my body. That's why I'm waiting for Princess Celestia to kill me."
"What makes you think that the princess is going to kill you?"
"I'm just as bad as Fluttershy. I don't know what I'm capable of, and neither does the princess." I explained. "Nopony knew vampires were real, and we don't know anything about them. Maybe I'll turn into a vampire, and kill ponies like Fluttershy did. I'm too dangerous."
"I don't think you have to worry about the princess." said the doctor. "Let's talk about your suicidal thoughts for a moment. Have you ever imagined yourself ending your own life? How would you do it?"
"I've thought about doing it like in the sad, grown-up movies that my daddy didn't want me to watch. The thing with the rope." I said, thinking about it for the hundredth time today. "Either that, or the gun my daddy bought me for my birthday. He said to only use it in emergencies, but I guess this counts."
"Why do you think suicide is the answer? Do you think it would be easier than pushing forward?"
"I guess it would be easier." I mused.
"Pinkie Pie, I can't help but notice that you haven't smiled or laughed once since you've walked into my office." said the doctor. "Your smile is enough to pick a pony out of the deepest of slums. Why haven't you tried to make yourself happy?"
"I think that… I think I'm broken, doc." I said. "Things that used to make me laugh make me want to cry now."
"Well, what sort of things made you want to laugh before?"
"Everything. Why does everything hurt me now? Not even cupcakes or ice cream makes me feel good."
"Pinkie you are a bright, cheery person." explained the doctor. "Your bright smile and contagious laugh is a shield that protects you from how cruel and dark and sinister reality can be. Even the strongest of shields will break, after constant abuse. Your shield just shattered. But that's okay. If you make these visits more regular, I'm sure we can put your shield back together."
"I could have done it." I said, randomly. Random was my thing. "I could've killed myself just when Fluttershy did. She gave me permission. It was almost an order. Princess Celestia stopped me. I owe her my life."
"Well, if you ever want to talk to her, you can hop on a train to Canterlot." said the doctor. "The princess has given you direct clearance. If you need an audience with her, all you have to do is walk in the castle."
"Thank you. Listen, doc, I have to go." I said. "Is there anything you have left to say to me? Doctor's orders?"
"I need you to take it easy." said the doctor. "If you have a job, take off as much time as you need. And, above all else, make sure you're here again. I can only help you if you let me."
I kept that in mind as I left the office. As I began on my way back home, I kept replaying the terrible ordeal that my life had become. Princess Celestia said that I would find it hard to think of anything other than the murders, partly because of the magic involved in being a thrall. I tried to delete that word from my mental dictionary, but had no luck at all. Thrall. I hated it. I don't hate anything, but I absolutely, positively, no ifs-ands-or-buts, hate that word. Drudge wasn't any better. I was so wrapped up in those terrible, evil words that I didn't even realize I had made it back to Sugar Cube Corner. I walked into the bright, happy sweet shop, throwing a fake smile at Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Mrs. Cake said something I couldn't quite hold on to, something about me being happy, and how good that was. I muttered something about sleep and dragged myself up the stairs to my room. Gummy was hanging from my doorknob, dangling and swaying with the breeze. I lifted him onto my head and felt him tense up. He snapped his toothless mouth at my bedroom door, and started hissing like a wet cat.
"What's gotten into you, Gummy?" I asked him, pushing the door open. Nothing could've prepared me for what I saw in my room. Sitting on my bed, her rainbow hair bright as ever, her mischievous, toothy smile shining at me, was Rainbow Dash. I stepped forward, mouth wide open in disbelief.
"Close your mouth, Pinkie." said Dash. "You'll catch flies."
"R-rainbow?" I said quietly.
"What's wrong, Pinks? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"You're alive?!" I squealed. I jumped forward and grasped her into a tight hug. As soon as my hooves were around her, she melted through my body, chilling me to the bone.
"Not exactly." said Dashie. "Get it? 'Seen a ghost'? I'm dead now? It was pretty funny to me."
"You're… a ghost?" I asked. "But there's no such thing as ghosts."
"There's also no such thing of vampires, but we both know that those are real. Trust me, Pinks, I'm real. I've come a long way to get here. Flew for forever, and I'm not exaggerating. I've literally been flying for an eternity."
"But how? It's only been six months!"
"Yeah, and it's been less than a second for the girls." said Dashie. "It's also been forever. Time doesn't make a whole lot of sense in Arcadia."
"Arcadia? What's that?" I asked. "How do you even press buttons or move a joystick if you're a ghost?"
"Arcadia is where dead ponies go if they are pure of heart." said Rainbow, rolling her eyes. "You probably know it as Heaven. Celestia said that there's tons of names for it. I like Arcadia, Twilight likes Elysium, Rarity thinks Utopia is simply a divine name, and Aj keeps it simple, just calls it Heaven. You'll find your name for it when you get here. If you get here."
"Why wouldn't I get in?" I asked.
"That's not the question you should've asked. Think about it, Pinkie. I've been dead for six months, and I just decide to pop in for a visit? Alone? I came here for a reason, and it involves your spot in Arcadia. You probably don't wanna talk about dying right now, but we have to. There's something you have to do if you want to live out eternity with me and the rest of the girls."
"Where else would I go?" I asked.
"Fluttershy is dead. She's not in Arcadia. You'll be going the same place as her." said Rainbow. "I've known you a while Pinkie, and you don't deserve that."
"You still haven't told me why I would end up wherever Fluttershy is."
"Think! If I died and went to Heaven, where would the psychopathic, murderous cannibal go?"
"Ooooh!" I said, still not grasping it.
"Pinkie, do you have any clue what I'm talking about?" asked Rainbow.
"Nope! I'm just so super excited that you're here!"
"But that's it! I came here to help you get into Arcadia when you die. As it stands right now, you'll end up with Fluttershy. You know, the bad guy? The pony who murdered her best friends?"
"Um…"
"Where do good ponies go when they die, Pinkie?" asked Dashie. She sounded like she was getting impatient.
"They go to Heaven." I answered. I remembered daddy telling me things like this.
"Very good. And where do bad ponies go when they die?"
"Um… Oh! H-E-double-sippy-straws!"
"Sippy-straws? Yes, they go to Hell, Pinkie." sighed Dash. "And that's where you're headed. Fluttershy's evil rubbed off on you, and you're going to end up in Hell because of her. Unless you follow my directions."
"Oh. What do you want me to do?" I asked.
"Didn't I say already? Sorry, being dead messes with your head. Let me start from the top; When you arrive in Arcadia, Celestia grants you one wish, so long as your wish isn't to be alive again. Well, our friends wasted their wish on her."
"Who?" I asked.
"Fluttershy." said Rainbow Dash. "They wished Fluttershy back to life. And you have to kill her."